Do you still carry a torch for an Ex Girlfriend (or wife)

[james t kirk]

Just wondering how many guys carry a torch for a long lost love (not the bought kind).

Do you have someone you dated a long time ago that you often think about, or regret the way it ended up, or wonder what they're doing?

I had a GF back in my university days some 20 years ago who I still have feelings for. It's been a long time, but I often think about her. (We dated for 3 years.) When we did break up, I was hit quite hard. It impacted my life HUGELY at the time (she was on my mind more than anything else in the world - including school and I almost failed my 3'rd year.)

I'm over her now from the point of view that I am no longer crippled by it all, but I still carry a torch.

 

[anon1]

Have you tried searching for her on Facebook?
Don't do it. I did, with a few old flames.
They say you can't go home.

 

[basketcase]

Absolutely. Just not my ex-girlfriends.

 

[The Oracle]

Yes is the answer to your question and by god I wish I could say no.

 

[tboy]

Have you tried searching for her on Facebook?
Don't do it. I did, with a few old flames.
They say you can't go home.

So true and one of the biggest problems with contacting or searching out old flames is that you're attached to the "idea" of what they were like, way back then. I can guarantee you that they are different now.

Now with that being said there's a few that I'd like to see again, just to see how they have changed, how they're doing etc and there's one that I wonder what would have happened had we stayed together. I know one who I was madly in love with ran into a buddy's wife last year and the wife told me: she gained so much weight that she was unrecognizable. She said something like it looked like she doubled in size. I find that disappointing because she had a perfect body when we dated (34C 24 34) and was so hot in a bikini that my buddies would actually PUNCH me when they saw her cause I didn't deserve her lol......

Anyhow, James, just remember that you're in love with the idea of her, not who she actually is.

(btw, I did end up finding someone I knew about 7 yrs ago and we were just friends. I called her just to see how she was, what was new, how her band was doing etc and she was SO guarded on the phone, so suspicious it was fricken ridiculous.....I mean, this is a woman who (with her 8 yr old daughter) would spend weekends at my place and we'd go all over hell's half acre together, purely platonic too....) I eventually said " I don't know why you're acting this way, I found your number in an old phone book, wondered how you were doing, I don't want ANYTHING just wanted to call and say hi. If you can't accept that I won't contact you again and am sorry I called in the first place.......

 

[big.guy_13]

Regrettably, yes. I do think of her. And unfortunately I have to see her this summer. Repeatedly. Maybe I can drown her.

 

[Aardvark154]

Just wondering how many guys. . . still carry a torch for an Ex Girlfriend (or wife).

I'm over her now from the point of view that I am no longer crippled by it all, but I still carry a torch.

To a certain extent I believe all of us do (at least speaking of divorce). To my mind even after betrayal and the death of the marriage it is impossible to have loved someone and say that you do not wish that it had turned out very differently.

However, that is a very different thing than saying "all is forgiven" lets start again just where we left off.

 

[james t kirk]

Oh, I know exactly where she is. Fortunately, a long way from here. We keep in touch (emails), but that's about it.

She's the only ex that I still think about, or carry a torch for.

It just amazes me on some level that these feelings have persisted for 20 years. (Don't get me wrong, I still care about her, but I'm not fucked up anymore about her.) We last saw each other for dinner probably about 6 or so years ago. She was still looking good. Back when I was dating her, she was incredibly beautiful. 6' tall, slim, blonde, a total head turner. Had modelled a bit before I met her.

I remember the first time I laid eyes on her, I was instantly attracted to her and then I would see her walking around the university campus. I had a huge crush on her before I even spoke to her. Then I got to know her, then the pieces all just fell into place. The first time in my life where a crush turned into reality.

 

[afterhours]

Yes is the answer to your question and by god I wish I could say no.

I think I carry a damn bunch of them

 

[browsing]

A high school girlfriend, the only one I never slept with. It's been over 20 years now, but to this day, I still occasionally fantasize about fucking her.

 

[Don]

Yea I do too. Usually it is with the last relationship I was in. It was a good time, wasn't totally satisfied with how it ended. Was bitter at first but now I look back at it somewhat fondly and with some regret.

 

[Photoboy]

Yes I do. Unfortunately about 2 months ago I found out that she had died from Leukemia. Obviously I was shocked and then sad about how things ended. I did visit the grave site and said my peace. Unfortunately that doesn't mean much now.

 

[Plan B]

I definitely carry a torch for my ex...we were together for many years, she wanted a commitment, and I couldn't do that for her. I guess I've always relished SCs and SPs just a little too much. 3 months after my father passed away, she left me..I felt numb at the time and couldn't feel anything at all till months later. She's now married, lives out of the country and has blocked every way for me to contact her....I always wonder about the life I could have had.
Even in subsequent relationships, I phase out mentally all the time and still think about her..
They say that time heals all wounds...I believe this..but I also believe that the scars will stay with you for the rest of your life.

 

[maverick]

time usually heal all wounds. sure there's some scars, but what is life without scars.

the time it takes varies for me. but closure is the best remedy. it's usually when you least expect it, is when you find someone great.

 

[tboy]

time usually heal all wounds. sure there's some scars, but what is life without scars.

the time it takes varies for me. but closure is the best remedy. it's usually when you least expect it, is when you find someone great.

As corny as it sounds, in the Star Trek OS movie "The Voyage Home" kirk says: I want my pain, it makes me who I am.......

 

[dragondick]

My answer is "yes". That is why I am hobbying to find a short time replacement.

 

[Cycleguy007]

Nope... I did for a year or so... but that was many years ago. Its flame was extinguished for good the day I met Mrs. CG... God help me if something ever happened to her though.

 

[RandyAndy2]

It might sound strange, but an ex-GF from 10 years ago is still one of my best friends (but not in a romantic or sexual way). After the hurt of our breakup we found that our friendship was still there, and I think we both feel fortunate for that.

 

[train]

Yes, a university girlfriend when I was 19. She was my first regular sex in an extended relationship. All she ever wanted to do was fuck. I sometimes looked forward to her period just to get a break. She was every guy's dream in that she came easily and often. She wanted to get a place together for our next year in university and I blew it by chickening out of the committment. Scared me. Man she was sweet. I'm such an ass. It took me 4 years to fall in love again.

 

[calvin & hobbes]

Yup! Definitely carrying a torch for an old GF. One day I just might take it over to her house and set her place on fire. Gawd, I hate that cunt!