Continued
While there are exceptions, I find very few American providers offer this. The attitude in the U.S. is often "oh, I save all emotions for my boyfriend". This contrasts sharply with women I've met from many other cultures, European, Latin America, Asian, that seem so much more open to sharing GFE and the type of intimacy I enjoy.
The reasons are quite obvious. Most other cultures don't have the repressive sexual attitudes that we do in the U.S. Often foreign women are much more naturally open, intimate and provide easy GFE which is often totally foreign to most U.S. sexworkers. Their are of course exceptions of wonderful GFE providers in the U.S. and hard business only pro foreign women. But in my "studies" of providers in various parts of the world, my overwhelming experience is this obvious difference in cultures.
In response Caitlin a Phoenix sexworker said:
"While I have not advertized myself as GFE, that is what many of my clients have experienced. To me it is a question not of what you do, but how you do it. It definitely involves some kind of "connection," as Dave put it.
When I'm with a client, I genuinely want both of us to have a good time. I usually manage to find something (or a lot) about their personality that I like, which makes it more fun for me. GFE definitely means no clock watching, filling out the hour if he finishes early, a massage if he wants it, things like that.
A GFE may or may not include kissing. I like what CJ said about earning a kiss. If it doesn't happen on the first date, don't despair, it might happen on subsequent dates. If there is no genuine desire in me to give you a kiss, it will be mechanical. I always appreciate a client who lets me kiss him first before he kisses me.
It seems to me a GFE is rather indefinable. Everyone has a different idea about it. That emotional connection is an intangible, and there is no guarantee that you and your provider will experience it. And one needn't have a FS provider to achieve that either."
Dave says, that was a great response from Caitlin, who I thank for her input (reposted with her permission)
But not everyone wants GFE such as what one man said:
"Some guys want/like a GFE but not all us. Snuggling, holding hands, caresses ..... ugh Sorry, I want it hot and nasty."
And more wisdom from retlakk:
"Personally, I get the most pleasure out of sex when we both have a good time. I really try to turn the girl on and please her. Stroking, cuddling, kissing is all part of that, and it's surely unnatural to preserve complete emotional detachment while giving this the full attention which it deserves.
Maybe it's a question of age. I'm over 50, have had several girlfriends. I don't think I'm going to get lovesick over a sex affair. For a young man, it might be different. Yes, there is some danger of getting hooked, these girls are not called "hookers" for nothing. But treating a girl like some kind of animated rubber doll misses most of the point of making love."
So different men seek different type of providers, hot and nasty or more intimacy and that hard to define intangible GFE.
Also see related article with more wisdom from others at
http://www.sexwork.com/subcontents/whymenpayGFE.html