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Falling for a client???Am I the only one?

Mrs_Stiffler

Personal Sex Therapist
Mar 6, 2003
380
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Toronto
ca.geocities.com
How do you make that choice though Ophelia? When I feel those feelings growing, its almost like an itch that you can't scratch as long as you ignore it. And if I ignore it long enough, yes it will go away, but then I'm left wondering what could have been? What if I missed out on that man who could have been my best friend for life? The man to rock on the front porch with in my 80s? The man to hold hands with as we walk through the mall on Senior's Day? I guess I'm a born romantic.
 

The Baroness

Sr. Member
Aug 11, 2002
1,754
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Toronto
I guess I gave the wrong impression in my post.........I did go for it....
We have been together over a year...............Was just wondering how common it was......
 

hapkido

New member
Jun 15, 2003
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Miranda is it sub dave hihihhi? just joking :)
 

shack

Nitpicker Extraordinaire
Oct 2, 2001
53,935
11,809
113
Toronto
miranda said:
I guess I gave the wrong impression in my post.........I did go for it....
We have been together over a year...............Was just wondering how common it was......
Glad to hear you and Baron are still an item.
 

hapkido

New member
Jun 15, 2003
1,473
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im confused......so miranda are u out of the biz? Or you have a understanding partner?
 

The Baroness

Sr. Member
Aug 11, 2002
1,754
1
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Toronto
hapkido said:
im confused......so miranda are u out of the biz? Or you have a understanding partner?
An understanding partner???
Yes somewhat,however as time goes on and feelings deepen,it has become a HUGE issue.
I guess you could say Im on my way out.
I love the money,but when you really care about someone,it hurts you to keep hurting them.
 

FLT

New member
Sep 14, 2003
370
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TO
You have to do what makes you happy in the long run. I hope you make a good choice miranda.
 

Catherine

Banned
Jan 16, 2003
1,013
0
0
I'm waiting for you....
Miranda;

Do you find it difficult to live with the fact that he knows what you do? Is the guilt hard to deal with?

I know that when I am envolved with someone, even when we are just starting out, I feel super guilty about working and being with him sexually. I have a lot of concerns like, what if i get a disease and pass it to him, what if he feels he could cheat without consequence because I am "cheating" (in his eyes)

I too have fallen in love with clients...emphasis on clients (as I hang my head in embarassment) and found the obsticles way to hard to over come. In one instance he never truely got over what I did, and because I stayed in the job too long after we met, he developed issues around my sincerity about my feelings. Not to mention some of his friends were aware of my old profession for they had seen me around. We stayed together for 3 years, but there was more heartache than good times.

Another example is one that I am truely embarassed about...I fell for him, but he did not. I tried to evolve form his client to his girl, but he put up stops all along the way. Our time together was amazing, and his behavior towards me when we were together always made me feel, maybe there was a chance. I even refused money from him. But because I never truley evolved form being his client I never knew had to act around him....thoughts like "Do I have sex with him everytime I see him, or do I offer my company and hope that would be enough..." It was a whole uncomfortable mess, that caused me alot of emotional distress, and I would like to say that I would never allow myself to fall in love again (with a client), but I always seem to prove myself wrong in that area...

With all that being said, I hope you are able to find a happy medium with this guy and have a huge amount more luck in your relationship...

You're welcome to PM me if you'd like to talk more, and/or exchange experiences...


Catherine
 

The Baroness

Sr. Member
Aug 11, 2002
1,754
1
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Toronto
Catherine said:
Miranda;

Do you find it difficult to live with the fact that he knows what you do? Is the guilt hard to deal with?






I think that I shut that out for a long time(too self-centered).I mean I knew he didnt like it,but I never really thought about how it would make a man feel......yknow?

Then the other day something happened that made it quite clear to me how much he is hurt by it.....I obviously wont get into details here but I have really been quite insensitive to his feelings about it ,not to mention having my priorities really out of order.


Do I feel guilty?
Not for sp'ing...no
but for being an insensitive b**tch........very.
 

Catherine

Banned
Jan 16, 2003
1,013
0
0
I'm waiting for you....
miranda said:
I think that I shut that out for a long time(too self-centered).I mean I knew he didnt like it,but I never really thought about how it would make a man feel......yknow?
Do I feel guilty?
Not for sp'ing...no
but for being an insensitive b**tch........very.



I totally understand those statements. As a provider, the first set of feelings you block out is your own, then everybody elses....You have to in order to stay sane...Not that I am saying that one never enjoys the experiences, but that one needs to take away the negative feelings.....

I have been an insensitive bitch also, but now I remind myself that the men I choose to be with are withstanding a lot and deserve a lot more credit than I give them....I know for a fact that if the tables were turned, I could not live with the fact that the man that I love is being with someone else...It would drive me nuts....

Catherine
 

RogerRabbit

New member
Jul 7, 2003
1,796
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Canada...
Hey Mir,

It was nice of you to introduce me to him at hoops that Sunday in August.

You and the baron make a nice couple. My brief impression, was he was a really nice guy, softspoken, etc.

Never let true love go and never compromise it.

:)
 

MindJohn

Active member
Aug 27, 2002
476
51
28
thanks to catherine and kiarra

Thank you for showing that SP's have occasional vulnerability in and around this business.

I did just notice, however, that you have the easiest, and clearest way to show your interest (by refusing your pay).

If secondary school students had social signals which could be traded with such ease they'd be pairing-off like rabbits.

Maybe it is all just a ruse (during our session together) but there is something to be said for those who play the role to the best of their ability!

Three cheers for all SP's :

"Hips, hips, hooray"
 

zaphod351

Deep Space Member
Jun 20, 2002
36
0
0
Philadelphia PA, USA
Oh No Not again

miranda said:

I guess you could say Im on my way out.
Here we go again, it's the dreaded Zaphod curse. I see Sky, she retires, I see Siobhan, she retires, I see Laura, She re...well who knows what really happened there. I'm ready to see Alexa, she take a Leave of Absence, and now the latest victim.........Man good thing I don't get up there much...LOL


Anyways, I know your not alone in the emotion department, I seem to hear this happing to more SP's than you would think, guess that's why some prefer not to go the GFE route, makes it simpler to stay un-attached.
 

Dr Watchsom

New member
Aug 28, 2003
163
0
0
on top of miranda
The boy friends point of view

I have been involved with an sp for over a year now and Ive got to say its been quite a ride.Miranda being insensitive is part of the job if your not detached you'll go crazy. I find that when Im with my lady friend its gives her a chance to let her guard down and realy enjoy herself instead of always being an actress. The sex we have is incredable and so is the rest of the time we spend togeather. However there are some issues. like when I say I dont like what you do she will say dont think about it(alot easyer said than done) Then when it is in your head you cringe when a picture comes to mind of her with another man. She says its just a job and she is an actress but then you wonder if shes acting with you. Sometimes she will talk a little too much about her work and you try to listen pollitly and not look hurt. The other thing is that you realy learn the inside of this busness I.E. personal lives of other sps and what they say about there clients, their personal problems( and there are alot of those) but you also learn not to objectify them and realizse that they are human too and have all the feelings and emotions that any other woman has.If we broke up I dont think I could get back into the hobby knowing what I know now.

Just my 2 cents worth
 

thundergod

Cunning Linguist
Oct 1, 2001
338
0
0
Comment from a big guy

As someone who has had past relationships with SP's, I will comment here. In many cases....this is a job, albeit a personal one...but a job much like being an exotic dancer. The lady gets to meet you and in many cases gets a more honest or straightforward insight into the client and less or no games. If they like you and feeling is mutual, intimacy and trust build together, just like any other normal relationship. I have met and had the pleasure of having 3 past companions ask me if I would mind if we established a more personal relationship. As an aside...I am always polite, I make sure the lady climaxes before me if possible...and take the time to listen well and enjoy the person behind the heels and garters. I also have taken the time over the years to learn all the intricacies of a female's body and ask them for their input or feedback or simply...their needs and desires. Being a gentleman has always served me well.
(plus...being a big teddy bear who hugs well doesn't hurt either!!) If a lady knows she'll be enjoying your time, company and attention she'll look forward to seeing you. My 2 cents..
 

Dr Watchsom

New member
Aug 28, 2003
163
0
0
on top of miranda
Re: Whew!

Blue said:
Hey Doc,

Your very candid post really blew me away! Thanks for sharing.

I guess my only question -- if I may ask one -- would be this: how do you know she's acting when she's out doing her job, or does that even matter? Now, go easy here....'cause I'm not saying you two don't love each other, or that your relatiohship is a sham, etc., etc. -- I know it's not. I'm just wondering how you REALLY know that the intimate bond you share is secure.

I'll understand if you choose not to reply -- but, I'm quite interested in your perspective.
I would be lieing if I said I dont wonder about it. We have talked about it and she has tried to reasure me many times. However theres always lingering dought. I ask myself if she enjoyed it with me when I was a client (and Im no stud by any means) then why wouldnt she enjoy it with another client. the truth is if I obsess over it then things would come to an end very quickly. You just have to hope shes telling the truth
 
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