Getting Married....

[Kailani]

Getting married is personal choice, and it's not for everyone dispite your religious background or culture. I was turned off to marriage at young age after finding out my dad and his two brothers and his father(grandpa) got married in total of 15 times. Yet, there are still women willing to marry them... which I didn't understand.

Most of my personal friends marriage failed in early as 3 month and lasting as long as... wait, so far everyone has ended up in DIVORCE! Another big turn off from marriage.

Only regrettable thing about not having family is I think I'll make fantastic wife, I absolutely love cooking healthy harty meals, I sort of like cleaning and doing laundry in top of it, too. Plus I will always have confidence to make my mate feel extra special no matter what.

Most women look forward to engagement with gorgeous rock, Wedding day with beautiful dress and reception, honeymoon in Paris, not actual marrige! However, they may look forward to possible divorce settlement.

 

[shakenbake]

Unfortunately, for most men divorce is anything but free.

If I had gone to jail instead of getting married,I would have been a free man by now........

 

[shakenbake]

Well said. I dumped my now ex-gf of two years due to her inability to handle increasing stress and the resulting 20 pounds she's put on since we started (And she was already overweight to start with). In essence, her increased girth was something that I was not able to tolerate, despite my best efforts to try to turn things around for her (she simply never listens or has a hissy fit when I do).

Sure, this makes me the bad guy and very shallow as a result. Most of our mutual friends are no longer talking to me. However I keep reminding myself that if I didn't do it now, I'd be doing it much later, when it would be 10 times worse.

They overlooked the fact that you wanted her to lose weight for her own good and health. Ironic, isn't it?

 

[Never Compromised]

Only regrettable thing about not having family is I think I'll make fantastic wife, I absolutely love cooking healthy harty meals, I sort of like cleaning and doing laundry in top of it, too. Plus I will always have confidence to make my mate feel extra special no matter what.

When would you like to move in?

 

[Never Compromised]

All my friends are starting to get engaged and married... but I'm not sure if I want to go down that road right now, I want to wait until I'm at least 30 , right now I'm 23.

Is anyone here married? Can you tell me the pros and cons of marriage? Would you recommend waiting for marriage, or do you recommend marrying young?

Thanks for your input! : )

If you have to ask, you are not ready. Don't worry about it. If you find the right woman, take your time. If you don't find the right woman, why bother?

 

[lickrolaine]

stay single till at lest 35,then marry a women in her late 20's,
all will be good,

 

[Capoeira]

Close to 60% of marriages will fail.

The odds are against you having a successful marriage. .

1) Do you have a link with actually statistics, or did you whip that number out of your arse?

2) Your number "60%" is distorted by those wankers who get like 5 divorces, and *Fake Marriages*

 

[fuji]

All my friends are starting to get engaged and married... but I'm not sure if I want to go down that road right now, I want to wait until I'm at least 30 , right now I'm 23.

Is anyone here married? Can you tell me the pros and cons of marriage? Would you recommend waiting for marriage, or do you recommend marrying young?

Thanks for your input! : )

I think marriage = children. You can live with someone, you can live with someone your whole life, but the "institution" of marriage, all the pressure to stay together, and the high stakes if you don't, I think, is only warranted once kids are in the picture.

So I would say get married when you are ready to start a family, and not until then.

 

[mexx]

You could always be like Gene Simmons and stay happily UNmarried to the same woman for over 20 years! No collar, no guilt, no misery!
And screw what the masses think and say, you do what's right for you!

 

[hemi]

I'm single right now, but I think I would like to be married and have a family someday. Everyone says to only get married when you find the right person, but how do you know if someone is the right one?

For all the marriages ending in divorce, I don't think most of them got into it whilst thinking to themselves "this person is not the right one, but I'll marry them anyways and get a divorce later."

I have several friends who are divorced, and every one of them was sure at the time that they were marrying the right person.

So is there any way to really know?

 

[VinnyBuff]

I appreciate all the responses, I would never even dream about getting married unless I found the right girl who was marriage material. I definitely wouldn't marry just for the sake of marrying.

On the other hand, I'm starting to feel the pressure to get married from my parents. They want me to have kids by the time I'm in my late 20's. Probably not going to happen.

I don't really know what I want, the idea of having a loving wife and kids is a great one, but I also keep hearing about the ugly side of marriage, the divorce, the financial ruin etc.

I also know that married men live longer than their single counterparts, probably because they have a wife to look after them to make sure they have healthy habits, to make sure they don't smoke, drink heavily, overeat etc.

So basically, I still don't know what to do... I'll decide once the right girl comes along.

 

[C Dick]

No offense but TERB is the PERFECT place since allot of guys on here are married and know the drill (literally).

You have a very unusual (albeit sucessful) marriage. 99.9% of women out there are not, nor will they ever be, "hobby-accepting". Usually, they would be divorce accepting.

You're a lucky guy and you know it.

Yes, you are correct, I have been fortunate. But I still think getting responses on Terb is going to give an unduly negative view of marriage, because divorced, or unhappily married guys are more likely to be here. I barely hobby anymore, and would likely not have found Terb in my present good marriage, it was only when things were more difficult that I came here. I am not sure where you would find the happily married guys posting, perhaps a swinger board, or something parenting related?

 

[Love Technician]

Although the concept of marriage seems to be a nice one, ultimately I just don't find it to be very realistic. I think our whole life experience should be one of growth and change as we get older. If you are lucky enough to find a person who can "grow" in the same way as you, than perhaps you will be very content to be married. I find though that people change over time and no longer share the same values or passions that they once did. Also many people put more effort into work, children, watching television, etc than they do their romantic relationships, ultimately resulting in it's demise.
A number of my girlfriends are obsessed with the idea of getting married and having kids before their "expiration date" (being 30) which just seems crazy to me. I know someone who didn't find true love until they were in their 50's, and they are extremely happy and couldn't be more perfect for one another.
I think the bottom line is to just live your life to the fullest, and if you can find someone along the way to join the ride..than that's fuckin' amazing!

 

[RTRD]

That....

...right now I'm 23.

...explains a lot of the previous posts.

I agree that marriage is probably not a great option here in Canada (given its cultural leniency towards cohabitation) unless kids are part of the picture / plan...and even still I know people with kids who are not married. I'd never do that, mine you, but apparently is "ok" here.

I'd also advise for you not to get married until you get past the notion that the most important thing about a woman is what she looks like...

Lastly, I would also agree with others that a LONG courtship is in order. I read someplace that infatuation lasts at least 18 months...so it sounds to me you should marry someone without having been in a SERIOUS relationship with them for at least that long.

 

[Robio]

Married Rhymes with berried

Unless you have really meet some one special and she actually stays that way Marriage is worse then death or a really bad job . I suggest you really think about what you want and not do something just because other are. Suckers are born every minute try not to be one of them.

A single man would say why did OJ kill his wife?
A Married man would say I wonder why he didn’t do it sooner?

 

[james t kirk]

i have had the exact opposite experience...the divorced women i know have all admitted to knowing they weren't really in love with their SO when they got married. i've heard the same fucking story so many times it scares me. "i knew he wasnt the right one as i walked down the aisle" , "i wasnt really in love with him" , " i was in love with someone else got married to make him jealous" etc

Yep, Chris Rock says it so well around minute 5 of this one....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fQyz_aecNc

 

[21pro]

geez.... gone are the days that people would get married so that they could finally have sex.

 

[Meister]

Married Rhymes with berried

Yes, yes, marriage is like Love and Strawberries...