Hate being single!

[Jasmine Raine]

Learning to live on your own is hard. Not the daily pay the bills but when you are use to a companion, living without one can be hard but once you figure it out, it is one of the most rewarding in my opinion.

I'm single and will be for the rest of my life. I have no need to date while escorting part time. That gets my need for sex out of the way. Which even then I don't need as much as I think men do. Masturbation is fine for me as well. I have great toys.

I have friends and family for companionship. I don't need to have a "partner". It is a very freeing feeling. I take vacations alone and it is awesome. You get to use the time to meet new people while taking a break from your whole life.

Now I say all this because I'm not alone even though I'm single. I have people around me and I'm very social. I think that is part of the key to my success in being single. I don't rely on the relationship for my only form of social interaction. I have enough social interaction that I value my alone time. Between work, escorting and my personal family and friends, my life's "needs" are met.

And it helps to like yourself. As stated.

 

[Cuddlebub]

Divorced for 10 years and single now. My separation and divorce was really tough. I've dated on and off since then. I'm in no rush to meet someone long-term. I love the freedom. Lots of time to do the things I enjoy. Stay single my friend!

 

[Bigdaug]

Sorry if i come across as depressed that wasnt my intent. Its difficult to communicate in text. I work out all the time my family has a cottage in north bay. Im going uo this weekend on a fishing trip with my brother. I was just down in cuba for two weeks a month ago. I have a good job and make good money. I do date often i ve even seen a sp recently. So everything is good.

I do miss my ex though. Not many like her around! Its better to be single then be with the wrong one it would make your life a living hell.

One of the other things i notice is im on this site a lot more...........i use to come on here once every few months or just not at all. It isn t a good sign lol.

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

This is a great time in your life. Now you have a perfect opportunity to truly wake up and hear yourself in this world filled with noise and people using one another for their own selfish needs until the next best one comes along and speaking and living without meaning. Now is your opportunity to break free from these social constraints and influences telling you how you need to date, what you need to think and feel and how you need to worry how others will see you especially now that you are single and how much of a loser you will appear in peoples minds and eyes when they figure out you are single. You have an opportunity to truly hit the rock bottom, go through the emotions especially loneliness and figure out your self in the process and be more present. Hopefully you self actualize to the point where you just accept being. When you get to the point of acceptance you will attract likeminded people such as partners and friends in your life that match your being. If you don’t have your shit in order and figured out what makes you think you will have quality partners in your life that will accept and respect the person you are. They will sense this out in a heartbeat and figure out how to avoid you. You can even get to the point that being single becomes enjoyable and be content with it like some guys on here. Right now it appears that you have not accepted it and are running from it and trying to distract yourself from digging deep down inside yourself.

 

[kastoric]

Ok I was rash with that statement. What I truly believe is that most guys here (me included) aren't single by choice. Dating is tough in this city, and most of us because of hobbying won't settle for anyone less than a 7.

And you guys know this: the single girls are just as vain as us even if they're no prize themselves.

 

[shack]

When you are single, you wish you had someone.

When you are in a relationship, you wish you had more freedom.

And THAT is the definition of the grass being greener on the other side.

 

[realthing69]

When you are single, you wish you had someone.

When you are in a relationship, you wish you had more freedom.

And THAT is the definition of the grass being greener on the other side.

Exactly...I'm single and would like to eventully be in a relationship.

While talking to some of my married guy friends, they said stay single, don't get married and that they wished they were me.....

 

[explorerzip]

Ok I was rash with that statement. What I truly believe is that most guys here (me included) aren't single by choice. Dating is tough in this city, and most of us because of hobbying won't settle for anyone less than a 7.

And you guys know this: the single girls are just as vain as us even if they're no prize themselves.

The more you think that dating, living, work, etc. is tough the more it becomes your reality. Same thing when you think that there's not many like her around. These are limiting beliefs that you need to shake somehow. The reality is that there are more dating options than ever before and I'm not even referring to online. There are loads of singles events in the city.

People do become more scare when they get married, have kids, etc. but you can still organize events like a BBQ, cottage weekend, etc. with them. If you wait around for other people to organize these things they will likely not happen. So you have to take the initiative to do it. People will generally appreciate your efforts of organizing things.

 

[J.A. Prufrock]

Even if I don’t glean any useful advice from a forum, what I like about boards like this is the ability to express your true feelings anonymously, as an outlet. The things I’ve posted on sites like this I’ve never, ever admitted to friends, family, who have no idea I do this or what I’m feeling since I project a persona of someone who has it all together and is doing fine. I have too much pride to admit I’m hurting. Expressing myself here is therapeutic.

 

[spraggamuffin]

People get married for all the wrong reasons sometimes.
Lust and physical looks, everybody else is doing it , pressure from parents and peers.....
One has to know what they are doing it for, what they hope to get out of it and what both peoples expectations are of each other?
the values of both people, the commitment from both through thick and thin, compromise and sharing in responsibilities, respect and love.
It's hardly the knee jerk reaction most make it out to be, nor is it something to fill a void, or a band aid for another problem we cannot diagnose properly in ourselves.
One cannot truly and faithfully serve two masters.
I recently looked at a spiritual/religious view of marriage on youtube in a video by Charles Price dated May 25th 2008.
It made sense to me.
There's also an evangelist completely dedicated to talking of marital issues from a religious/spiritual perspective called Robert Morris.

 

[Grimnul]

Ok I was rash with that statement. What I truly believe is that most guys here (me included) aren't single by choice. Dating is tough in this city, and most of us because of hobbying won't settle for anyone less than a 7.

And you guys know this: the single girls are just as vain as us even if they're no prize themselves.

See, to me, sex is a biological need. We have millions of years of evolution driving us to seek it out. If you don’t believe me when I say that not having sex is extremely unhealthy for you, just look at the incels.

I also feel that obsessing over dating and relationships is extremely unhealthy. As I said, I feel like there are benefits and downsides to both being in a relationship and being single, and I feel like if you feel that you’re incomplete without another person in your life, you’re going to be miserable. Trying to date because you feel like you need to be with someone is bad. It makes you desperate, and that just makes dating harder because you come off as desperate. Also makes you more likely to be with the wrong person, because you’re so desperate for a relationship that you’ll take whatever you can get and will stick with someone you’re not compatible with for far too long out of fear of being single. I do still date, but I do so opportunistically. I do things I enjoy, I go to events, live my life, do my own thing. If I meet someone in the course of doing that, great. If not, that’s cool too.

I don’t see escorts when I’m in a relationship, I do consider that cheating, and I don’t cheat. No judgment, just what I feel is right for me. So, when I’m single, I see escorts because, as I said above, I feel not being able to have regular (or semi-regular) sex is incredibly unhealthy, and I simply see this as the most practical way to do that. I’ve tried the tinder thing, I had some success, but I found it completely soul-crushing. Seeing sex workers is far more honest to me. I want sex, so why waste time and energy with tinder or other dating sites when I can just send an email or a text and have a woman show up for guaranteed no strings attached sex whenever I want?

It’s also a lot of fun, and what’s life without fun?

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

Sound advice especially the part about not having sex part being unhealthy. :thumb:

Although I disagree that seeing escorts and MPA is cheating. Just something that we need to do to maintain and service our body and keep it healthy when our SOs are not putting up either by choice, or if they are tired or even have a illness, disease or condition that prevents them from enjoying sex. Its not fair from us to make them feel obligated and guilty to expect them to give it to us. Relationships especially long term ones are not all about procreating and sex.

Some of the most ethical decisions are to leave this adult industry left unsaid, unspoken and in the shadows. How can you be your best and healthiest man to provide her the love and support she needs if your body, mind and spirit is not being serviced and maintained in a healthy manner?

Its all a matter of perspectives however when you look beyond the biased social taboos about sex, relationships, marriage, and especially this adult industry, you will realize that seeing escorts and MPA on the side is actually something that keeps relationships and people healthy, happy and functioning at their prime. In turn these happy and healthy people provide and invest this positive energy back into the society.

When someone says ohhh but you are lying to her, you are a fake, how can you have an honest and true relationship founded on integrity? Clearly these people are delusional because people lie by nature all the time especially to themselves. The ones who deny this are right now lying again to themselves.

See, to me, sex is a biological need. We have millions of years of evolution driving us to seek it out. If you don’t believe me when I say that not having sex is extremely unhealthy for you, just look at the incels.

I also feel that obsessing over dating and relationships is extremely unhealthy. As I said, I feel like there are benefits and downsides to both being in a relationship and being single, and I feel like if you feel that you’re incomplete without another person in your life, you’re going to be miserable. Trying to date because you feel like you need to be with someone is bad. It makes you desperate, and that just makes dating harder because you come off as desperate. Also makes you more likely to be with the wrong person, because you’re so desperate for a relationship that you’ll take whatever you can get and will stick with someone you’re not compatible with for far too long out of fear of being single. I do still date, but I do so opportunistically. I do things I enjoy, I go to events, live my life, do my own thing. If I meet someone in the course of doing that, great. If not, that’s cool too.

I don’t see escorts when I’m in a relationship, I do consider that cheating, and I don’t cheat. No judgment, just what I feel is right for me. So, when I’m single, I see escorts because, as I said above, I feel not being able to have regular (or semi-regular) sex is incredibly unhealthy, and I simply see this as the most practical way to do that. I’ve tried the tinder thing, I had some success, but I found it completely soul-crushing. Seeing sex workers is far more honest to me. I want sex, so why waste time and energy with tinder or other dating sites when I can just send an email or a text and have a woman show up for guaranteed no strings attached sex whenever I want?

It’s also a lot of fun, and what’s life without fun?

 

[explorerzip]

If you don’t believe me when I say that not having sex is extremely unhealthy for you, just look at the incels.

If lack of sex were truly unhealthy, then there would be a lot of married people who would have serious problems. That is just not the case. I'd say that hanging out (especially online) with negative people like incels is far more unhealthy. Choose to hang around with positive people.

 

[RZG]

Learning to live on your own is hard. Not the daily pay the bills but when you are use to a companion, living without one can be hard but once you figure it out, it is one of the most rewarding in my opinion.

I'm single and will be for the rest of my life. I have no need to date while escorting part time. That gets my need for sex out of the way. Which even then I don't need as much as I think men do. Masturbation is fine for me as well. I have great toys.

I have friends and family for companionship. I don't need to have a "partner". It is a very freeing feeling. I take vacations alone and it is awesome. You get to use the time to meet new people while taking a break from your whole life.

Now I say all this because I'm not alone even though I'm single. I have people around me and I'm very social. I think that is part of the key to my success in being single. I don't rely on the relationship for my only form of social interaction. I have enough social interaction that I value my alone time. Between work, escorting and my personal family and friends, my life's "needs" are met.

And it helps to like yourself. As stated.

Well put...`nuff said Jess.

 

[Bigdaug]

Working out is the best therapy!

 

[Bigdaug]

the best relationships are open relationships.

I find you so fucking hot!

 

[Grimnul]

Sound advice especially the part about not having sex part being unhealthy. :thumb:

Although I disagree that seeing escorts and MPA is cheating. Just something that we need to do to maintain and service our body and keep it healthy when our SOs are not putting up either by choice, or if they are tired or even have a illness, disease or condition that prevents them from enjoying sex. Its not fair from us to make them feel obligated and guilty to expect them to give it to us. Relationships especially long term ones are not all about procreating and sex.

Some of the most ethical decisions are to leave this adult industry left unsaid, unspoken and in the shadows. How can you be your best and healthiest man to provide her the love and support she needs if your body, mind and spirit is not being serviced and maintained in a healthy manner?

Its all a matter of perspectives however when you look beyond the biased social taboos about sex, relationships, marriage, and especially this adult industry, you will realize that seeing escorts and MPA on the side is actually something that keeps relationships and people healthy, happy and functioning at their prime. In turn these happy and healthy people provide and invest this positive energy back into the society.

When someone says ohhh but you are lying to her, you are a fake, how can you have an honest and true relationship founded on integrity? Clearly these people are delusional because people lie by nature all the time especially to themselves. The ones who deny this are right now lying again to themselves.

Fair enough. Like I said, no judgment, we all gotta do what works for us. Personally, it would make me feel guilty, so I won’t do it. I freely admit that it’s not necessarily rational, it’s just that I’d feel bad if my girlfriend was fucking other people, even for money, and I believe in treating others as I would want to be treated. You may feel differently, and that’s perfectly fine too. Sex is a very personal thing, and different people feel differently about it. Some are ok with having more open relationships where sex with other people is ok, some aren’t. It’s all good.

I would argue, though, that if you’re in a relationship with someone where the sex is not fulfilling, and they’re not willing to listen to you and understand your needs, you’re with the wrong person. I’ve been there and it was miserable and did ultimately end our relationship.

 

[superstar_88]

it's funny because my clients have told me crazy shit i doubt they've told anyone else. it really shows you that people should value therapy way more than we do. i've been seeing a therapist once a week for the past little while and even though i've been generally pretty happy the whole time i've been seeing her, it's still cool to have another person just listen to you bitch for 1.5 hours every week. if you don't have access to a therapist, i would recommend journal writing - it's always been very therapeutic for me. and of course exercise, the arts, literature, enjoying the poetry of life in general, travelling, your career - there's honestly so much life has to offer beyond a relationship, you just have to realize it.

Or just bitch on Terb. It's free.

 

[Don Draper]

People do become more scare when they get married, have kids, etc. but you can still organize events like a BBQ, cottage weekend, etc. with them.

Question: just curious if you meant to write 'SCARCE' or 'SCARED' in your post?

 

[Johnny Utah]

Why would you hate being single?

One should not define themselves by another person.

Life can be very rewarding by yourself, and it really is the only way to improve yourself and future relationships.

I enjoy being single, with lots of freedom. The only thing that sucks is the loneliness from time to time.