lol, I'm telling you, she reminds me of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.
I love it when she holds up two fingers and says in her heavy accent:
"Two times he bite me in my vagina!"
Then she goes on about how the dog goes nuts and bites her labrador in the penis.
Also, when she tries to dismiss the dog bite as trivial, saying the dog's teeth are small and "don't damage very much", they just ... "pinch."
I would love to have her as my neighbor.