I'm sorry if that's been your experience or if you're that cynical. All I can go by is my own observations through the various stages of my life (from starving student to successful semi-professional) - and that is simply not true. In my experience, Russian women (not necessarily all adult SPs, but even in those cases, many) in Canada simply want to find a strong, self-actualized man that loves them, is honest and treats them with respect.Rockslinger said:
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Thing is, allot of Russian women think North American men are boring pussies.Captain Fantastic said:I was exaggerating as a form of humour.
But there are a lot of female Russian ex-pats who see a huge (positive) difference in Canadian/American men vs. Russian men. It's not just the drunkenness - although that doesn't help - it's the attitude towards women in general. Plus those Ruskie men are ugly as sin!(Kidding, sheesh.)
Having only visited Russia, I can't say for sure, but I can see how and why Russian women would think this. Yes, it's a generalization, but it also has a bearing in truth, like all stereotypes...
No, not speaking from personal experience or being cynical but knowledge gained from talking to friends who have travelled to Cuba and Thailand and from a body of literature and media reports. Let me rephrase this. Young (and old) ladies in Russia, Thailand and Cuba are seeking a better life than what they see in their home country. They see a man from Canada or the U.S. as their "ticket" out.Captain Fantastic said:
I think the CBC actually did a program on "Russian Mail Order Bride." What is also interesting is that many white Canadian or American males are unhappy with native born and raised Canadian or American women (attitude). One of my white Canadian male friends went to Thailand on vacation, "fell in love" with a Thai lady and brought her to Canada. They married and have a couple of kids and he (I mean they) seems really happy.
I heard that woman from the Philippines really want to marry white men from North America/Europe. The woman who told me this was from that country (she was a masseuse on a Holland America cruise ship I was on some years ago) and said it is the ultimate prestige in the village she came from to marry a white man, regardless of whether he is rich or not.Rockslinger said:
Having casually dated one Russian girl (24) for a short while in the GTA, she said she liked dating Russian men and wanted to work in Moscow.
Having dated an Australian girl (23) she said Canadian men treated women much better than Australian men did and Australian girls who leave Australia for the UK or North America do so to meet/marry men from there.
I remember back in the early 1990's when things weren't so good in the former USSR lots of women left looking for western b/f's. That was 15 years ago - not so sure they still do it large scale. As I said, the GTA Russian girl I went out with was very keen on Russian men being nice to date, though she was quick to put down men from certain former Soviet Republics as being boors...
So much depends upon the personalities involved. One of the most dangerous things one can do in any binational relationship is to assign traits both positive and negative to culture (it may be true in a sociological sense but you aren't dating the entire nation rather a particular individual) rather than to her personality e.g. oh she'll change -no.james t kirk said:
That said some Russian women, although they say that they want a man who respects them etc. . . after years of observing a certain style of male - female interaction find it difficult to adjust to the reality of another style. Further, one of the consequences of the Second World War and a number of other things has been the "woman as actual head of household" phenomenon which among some Russian women has lead to "men have to be bossed around."
If one gets involved in Western-“Russian” dating, like any other dating it involves separating the wheat from the chaff, and for any of us what is chaff for one person may be wheat for someone else.
The problem with terms like that is that they are the "thermonuclear bombs" of conversation. They give off much heat and cause damage (in giving offense, and in causing blindness) but don't add much clarity or facilitate discussion.Rockslinger said:
In a day and age where more and more people in the developed world meet through intenet dating sites, what difference is there between first writing and phoning someone who lives on the other side of the city before meeting in person and first writing and phoning someone who lives in another country before meeting in person, other than pandering to popular and uniformed prejudice?
Russian Mail Order Brides was a one hour CBC program that aired several years ago. Here is a quick synopsis. Please note that the views aired in the program are not necessarily my own.
1) Many white North American men are not happy with local ladies for whatever reasons.
2) Many Russian ladies are not happy with local Russian men or with Russia as a place to live (they want out). Also, shortage of Russian men due to wars and Volka.
3) "Matchmakers" try to match N.A. men with Russian ladies ("Mail order brides).
1) Many white North American men are not happy with local ladies for whatever reasons.
2) Many Russian ladies are not happy with local Russian men or with Russia as a place to live (they want out). Also, shortage of Russian men due to wars and Volka.
3) "Matchmakers" try to match N.A. men with Russian ladies ("Mail order brides).
The old saying "Marry in haste, repent at leisure" has truth. If you are "in love with love" and/or hear the “biological clock” ticking (and be honest we men do both of these) you are at risk of falling into this trap. To have the marriage work and last you have to be marrying each other for the people you really are, this does not mean that there are not other motives as well but they must be distinctly secondary.Rockslinger said:
Great poverty significantly heightens the risk that escaping the poverty becomes more important than marrying a truly compatible person.
As a strictly factual statement that is fairly accurate. The problem is that most such programs don't present success stories - which from the few statistics there are, seem to be most of the marriages (or at least more than typical "girl from two blocks away" marriages). Rather they concentrate on the bizarre and the failures and pose questions along the lines of "when did you stop beating your wife."Rockslinger said:
In many ways such programs are like a documentary about SPs and clients in Canada do they show a version of "reality" which those of us on TERB recognize as being our experiences? Do they show the complexity that is TERB? My experience is "in no way, shape or form." And on that basis read again #128.
