How do escorts handle people with herpes?

[Madeline Rhodes]

Thankfully genital herpies is not something I ever had to deal with... That said I want to share a story. I know all parties and players in this story, and care about them as I know them well. If it resembles a situation you are familiar with then I suppose it is more common then one would ever want. Followed by the story some facts, information and a question.

About 30 years ago a young woman went out west and fell in lust, and was delightfully happy with a guy she thought she would be with forever. They even married. He gifted her with so many things... One of which was herpies. He left her about 2 years into the relationship, and broke her heart. She knew about the herpies and shrugged it off. She moved back home after the divorce, met a sweet man, fell in love and married him. Never telling him about the herpies until it was too late. They had 5 children together (she had one from a previous relationship too)... Eventually she grew bored and met someone. Fell for him and had an affair. Never telling him about it either, got pregnant, left her husband and is married to this man now. She gifted him with the gift that keeps on giving as well.

The man who fathered 5 of her children is sweet, but swears he won't ever date for fear of passing this on. Essentially he will spend the rest of his life alone.

Yes. Statistics say 1 in 4 Americans have herpies. This includes oral herpies in many of the statistics that are quoted. Let me give you what the US CDC says:

http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/STDFact-Herpes.htm

How common is genital herpes?

Results of a nationally representative study show that genital herpes infection is common in the United States. Nationwide, 16.2%, or about one out of six, people 14 to 49 years of age have genital HSV-2 infection. Over the past decade, the percentage of Americans with genital herpes infection in the U.S. has remained stable.

Genital HSV-2 infection is more common in women (approximately one out of five women 14 to 49 years of age) than in men (about one out of nine men 14 to 49 years of age). Transmission from an infected male to his female partner is more likely than from an infected female to her male partner.

The higher numbers of statistics which discuss the herpies virus also include oral herpies (cold sores) which CAN be passed during oral sex, and things like chicken pox, or shingles which are another herpies virus. In fact there are 8 types. Here is a bit of information on each (please note I clipped the paragraphs a bit so clicking will give more info for some):
http://chealth.canoe.ca/channel_section_details.asp?text_id=1364&channel_id=1020&relation_id=8287

Herpes virus: 8 types

The herpes family of viruses includes 8 different viruses that affect human beings. The viruses are known by numbers as human herpes virus 1 through 8 (HHV1 - HHV8).

Human herpes virus 1 (HHV1) is also known as herpes simplex virus 1 (HSV1). It is typically the cause of cold sores around the mouth. HHV1 can also lead to infection in the genital area causing genital herpes usually through oral-genital contact, such as during oral sex. HHV1 infections are contagious and are usually spread from skin-to-skin contact with an infected person through small breaks in the skin or mucous membrane. The HHV1 virus is more likely to be spread through things like sharing eating utensils, razors, and towels from a person who has an active lesion.

Human herpes virus 2 (HHV2) is also called herpes simplex virus 2 (HSV2). It typically causes genital herpes, a sexually transmitted infection. However, it can also cause cold sores in the facial area. Like HHV1, the HHV2 infection is contagious and is spread by skin-to-skin contact. The main route of transmission is through sexual contact, as the virus does not survive very long outside the body.

Human herpes virus 3 (HHV3) is also called varicella-zoster virus. HHV3 causes chickenpox. It can also cause a recurrent virus infection of the skin, which is called herpes zoster or shingles. Shingles occurs when dormant varicella-zoster virus from an initial bout of chickenpox becomes reactivated. Like its close relative, HHV1, herpes zoster likes to infect skin cells and nerve cells.

Human herpes virus 4 (HHV4) is also known as the Epstein-Barr virus. It is the major cause of infectious mononucleosis, or "mono" - the "kissing disease." It is a contagious infection and is transmitted through saliva. Coughing, sneezing, or sharing eating utensils with an infected person can pass the virus from one person to another.

Human herpes virus 5 (HHV5) is the official name of cytomegalovirus (CMV). CMV is also a cause of mononucleosis. In people with healthy immune systems, the virus may not even cause any symptoms. It can be sexually transmitted, can cause problems to newborns, and can cause hepatitis.

Human herpes virus 6 (HHV6) is a recently observed agent found in the blood cells of a few patients with a variety of diseases. It causes roseola (a viral disease causing high fever and a skin rash in small children) and a variety of other illnesses associated with fever in that age group. This infection accounts for many of the cases of convulsions associated with fever in infancy (febrile seizures).

Human herpes virus 7 (HHV7) is even more recently observed and is closely related to HHV6. Like other human herpes viruses, HHV6 and HHV7 are so common that most of humankind has been infected at some point, usually early in life. HHV7 can also cause roseola, but it is not clear what other clinical effects that this virus causes.

Human herpes virus 8 (HHV8) was recently discovered in the tumours called Kaposi's Sarcoma (KS). These tumours are found in people with AIDS and are otherwise very rare.

This next bit will be about diagnosis and testing. Please read it. This could be important to you.
http://www.webmd.com/genital-herpes/guide/genital-herpes-diagnosis

Accurate testing is important for genital herpes. Being told you're infected when you're not, or the other way around, can be awful. Some people have lived decades under the false impression that they were infected because a doctor didn't test them for the virus. Instead, they were diagnosed by their symptoms alone. It's easy to mistake genital herpes symptoms for something else.

If you have sores on your genitals, a doctor can take a sample from a sore and look for the herpes simplex virus (HSV) in it. One test is called a cell culture. Any viruses in the sample are allowed to multiply so that they're easy to find under a microscope. There are other tests, such as PCR, available as well.

The direct fluorescent antibody test is another kind. A solution containing HSV antibodies and a fluorescent dye is added to the sample. Antibodies are proteins produced by the immune system in response to an infection. If the virus is present in the sample, the antibodies stick to it and glow when viewed under a special microscope.

Unfortunately, an antibody test (usually done on blood samples) only tests whether you have been exposed or ever had herpes virus. It is helpful, but does not diagnose a specific outbreak.

Antibody tests can tell the difference between the two types of HSV. It's important to know which type you have. If you're infected with type 2 (HSV-2), you may have outbreaks more often than would if you had type 1 (HSV-1). What's more, knowing which type you have gives a clue as to how you were infected. HSV-1 usually infects the genitals through oral sex, and HSV-2 usually is passed on during vaginal or anal sex. For help with these terms, see the Glossary.

Cell culture or PCR tests taken from active sores may give a false-negative result if the sores have begun healing. A positive result from one of these tests is very accurate, however.

Question time:

You have come here declaring you have herpies, and asking how sex workers feel about that. Some women out there do get cold sores (though most do not work during an outbreak) and same with the men. This much I know for certain.

My question to you is did you have a VISUAL DIAGNOSIS (which can be inaccurate), a cell culture or PCR test, or an antibody test?

If it was ME I would want to know which I had, and be sure it is not something else (which can and does happen - I know of someone who had a staph sensitivity and got sores that were suspicious and were NOT herpies like her GP was ranting at her).

For the record. I have antibodies to HSV3, and none for the other 7. Neurosis is a good thing sometimes right?

 

[SenecaBoy]

I'm sure that there are lots of SPs who have herpes. Hopefully they choose not to work during outbreaks - but I wonder.

One reason it's always good to chow down on a pussy prior to putting it in.

I wouldnt dine at the Y on any SPs rite now. You could get HIV or HSV and HSV around your face is quite obvious.

HSV is not as ghastly as HIV from what i hear. Since both have no cures there is a bad stigma present around them. But some claim HSV goes away after sometime and since it is episodic if you take care of your body and refrain from having sex during an out break reduces chances of spreading HSV, i dont know about this much so i will have to go by what i read online.

I am gonna agree with James, that there might be a few SPs out ther who carry both or one of the two and might not indulge the info. And this is one of the main reasons why i have gone cold turkey from hobbying for now. Dont want any STDs.

 

[james t kirk]

I wouldnt dine at the Y on any SPs rite now. You could get HIV or HSV and HSV around your face is quite obvious.

HSV is not as ghastly as HIV from what i hear. Since both have no cures there is a bad stigma present around them. But some claim HSV goes away after sometime and since it is episodic if you take care of your body and refrain from having sex during an out break reduces chances of spreading HSV, i dont know about this much so i will have to go by what i read online.

I am gonna agree with James, that there might be a few SPs out ther who carry both and might not indulge the info. And this is one of the main reasons why i have gone cold turkey from hobbying for now. Dont want any STDs.

You should definitely leave the hobby and consider giving up sex altogether because your odds of contracting STDs are your odds as long as you are having sex.

BTW, you're not going to contract HIV from giving oral sex to a woman - well, maybe if she was bleeding and you had a cut in your mouth.

As with all things in life, there is risk. There is risk driving down the 401. If you are risk adverse, you'd better not have sex, or drive down the 401 for that matter.

 

[LadyTY2Uall]

I am sorry if I sound insensitive but for most of us (SPs) we DON"T handle it.
Our work is our livelihood, a common cold can put us out of comission for days at a time which means no income.
Contracting an STD would put us out of comission for ever.....even if we recovered from the STD our reputation would be destroyed. For those of us who not only support ourselves but a family also this would be devastating.
You have my sympathies but never my service.

 

[fuji]

My understanding is that unless he has an "episode" going on he is safe.

Incorrect. He can be contagious and not be showing any symptoms.

 

[SenecaBoy]

You should definitely leave the hobby and consider giving up sex altogether because your odds of contracting STDs are your odds as long as you are having sex.

BTW, you're not going to contract HIV from giving oral sex to a woman - well, maybe if she was bleeding and you had a cut in your mouth.

As with all things in life, there is risk. There is risk driving down the 401. If you are risk adverse, you'd better not have sex, or drive down the 401 for that matter.

There is a difference between the two scenarios you are pointing out
Sleeping with a SP is a risk but a risk you are willing to take regardless just for pleasure. So you know of the consequence and you still do it

Driving down the 401 is a different issue, this is an unknown risk. But all in all if shit is going to happen, shit will happen. Except in the 401 scenario the other driver has just as much to loose or more to loose as you if they are found to be at fault.

With the sex with a sp or sp having sex with a man who has std, here the party without the STD has more to loose. Diseases like HIV could ruin your life absolutely, although I think herpes is not as bad as HIV, it still is something you dont want.

In the end we are all gonna die at sometime, no point in being bubble boy as you are suggesting I do and living life in a room. There are certain risks you deem necessary and certain risks you avoid, simple as that.

 

[rhuarc29]

Wow...this guy must feel crappy now. At least he is being upfront and wants to be honest.

He may feel let down, but it's his responsibility to inform his partners about any infection that could be transferred. Even if he found an SP that was willing, I'm sure the SP's other clients would be interested in such information. If I knew an SP I was interested in had herpes, I would definitely look elsewhere. Sure, the risk of contracting it from her between outbreaks are comparatively slim, but why go to her when I have other options that pose less risk. To me, this hobby is all about minimizing the risks. Yeah the OP was honest and I'm glad he was, but at the same time I'm a little wary of the fact he is still seeking an SP knowing full well that she WOULD NOT inform her other clients of their encounter.

 

[lmlm]

How many men with stds (that they know about or not) see SPS?

It's very nice that this guy is being honest about it. Maybe you could see a provider and suggest using a female condom?

Or see a provider for an erotic massage instead of intercourse?

 

[CRX8]

For the record. I have antibodies to HSV3, and none for the other 7. Neurosis is a good thing sometimes right?

You're a woman, yes? You got the HPV vaccine? Is there a male equivalent one could ask a family doctor to provide?

 

[james t kirk]

I am sorry if I sound insensitive but for most of us (SPs) we DON"T handle it.
Our work is our livelihood, a common cold can put us out of comission for days at a time which means no income.
Contracting an STD would put us out of comission for ever.....even if we recovered from the STD our reputation would be destroyed. For those of us who not only support ourselves but a family also this would be devastating.
You have my sympathies but never my service.

I will guarantee you have seen many many men with Herpes during your career since 1 out 4 people are infected with Herpes.

It's a given that you are a carrier of HPV also since anywhere from 75 to 80 of women carry the HPV virus.

 

[GG2]

With stats like that, you have to assume that every SP probably already has herpes. They just don't know it.

 

[Hip]

 

[GameBoy27]

Do you know who you got it from arreat? If so, were you using a condom?

 

[einar]

I'd say one basic answer is to avoid escorting when you are showing symptoms. Do some reading online about how infected people choose to live their lives. This is a very common issue, and it's an ethics issue only you can decide for yourself.

 

[Petzel]

With stats like that, you have to assume that every SP probably already has herpes. They just don't know it.

Yea and i'm not buying those stats.

 

[Madeline Rhodes]

You're a woman, yes? You got the HPV vaccine? Is there a male equivalent one could ask a family doctor to provide?

No vaccine. It became the thing when I was in my 20's... And negative for HPV too. Gosh I love those batteries of tests I went through. *Wanders away muttering about 15 stinkin vials*

P.S. http://www.themanitoban.com/articles/27577 It was approved for males between 9 and 26 already.

P.P.S. HSV and HPV are two different things.

 

[legmann]

Maybe you could see a provider and suggest using a female condom?

This is one of the best means of prevention for genital herpes since it covers the outside of the female genitalia, thus reducing skin-to-skin contact where herpes can be transmitted.

I did the same with one provider some years ago when I was a lot more 'paranoid' about risk, and she was perfectly understanding and accomodating.

 

[TOman]

I will guarantee you have seen many many men with Herpes during your career since 1 out 4 people are infected with Herpes.

It's a given that you are a carrier of HPV also since anywhere from 75 to 80 of women carry the HPV virus.

Living life in an SP bubble, reality is that she probably see's a guy with herpes every day. I'm surprised there hasn't been more discussion on this, or maybe I've missed it.

 

[CapitalGuy]

My understanding is that if someone is not in the midst of an outbreak, there is still a 5% chance of them shedding the virus to a partner. I much prefer a 0% chance, thanks all the same.

 

[GameBoy27]

I can't believe how many people think that if girls genitals look okay, you won't get herpes!

Read this:

A cure for herpes has not yet been developed. Once infected, the virus remains in the body for life. Recurrent infections (outbreaks) may occur from time to time, especially in times of immune impairment such as HIV and cancer-related immune suppression. However, after several years, some people will become perpetually asymptomatic and will no longer experience outbreaks, though they may still be contagious to others. Treatments with antivirals can reduce viral shedding and alleviate the severity of symptomatic episodes.