How do SP integrate back into society?

[SlickRickBBD]

OP, you do realize sex workers have normal lives like everyone else. They go shopping, on vacations, have friends and family , read books, go to restaurants, have hobbies, go for hikes, play sports, attend events, hit the gym, but most importantly HAVE RELATIONSHIPS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!

These women have lives just like everyone else. Some are married or have significant others already. Some have children and have built loving homes.. Not every guy is held up on the fact if their lady is a sex worker. Especially in this day and age where there’s so many realms and ways to be a part of the adult industry. I am almost certain, most men know a woman that’s sex worker and don’t even know it. It’s about discretion. If she wants to be public about her work and tell the world, that is her call and good on her. You either take it or leave it. When or if she wants to be in a relationship, that’s a conversation for her and her partner. Some guys will have issue, some won’t. But her occupation does not make her less than anyone else. She a person just like everyone else. Plus like people have pointed out, what do you tell a lady your interested in when the conversation comes up? Do you mention every single provider/worker you have seen? C’mon now think about it.

Honesty, I believe your question OP. came from a good place and curiosity, but if you really respect these women, don’t worry about that. Be a good client. Enjoy your time seeing them and be happy for whatever she does outside of work. But don’t pry or make assumptions. Don’t worry about what’s going on in their personal life, but know they have personal lives. If they let you in that part of their world, cool. If they don’t, treat it like you treat your doctor. You know he/she has a life outside of their visiting hours - respect them and mind your business!

slick

 

[Midnight Hammer]

I frequently wonder how Sp who have been working this industry for many years go about being honest about their sexual history in a relationship. Don’t get me wrong… I have nothing but the highest respect for all of these beautiful ladies and they have worked miracles on me for many years. But let’s face it… many of these ladies have been with 3-5-8 hundred or even thousands of men. Again… no judgement, but how do they go about explaining to someone In a new relationship that this has been their life? Or do they leave it out? Just wondering and would love some insight on this…. Just as lounge chit chat.

It seems many people in this thread are passively aggressively shaming you for even asking the question. I'll talk about a couple elephants in the room which others won't.
Let's have an honest conversation now. I want to be a sex worker when I grow up said no girl ever. Unfortunately it seems most of the women come from an abusive childhood, or had absent parents, and/or have mental or emotional heath issues which doesn't bode well for traditional LTR's being successful.

Plus, putting the previous mentioned issues aside, it seems the longer a woman is in this business the higher the chance she will develop a deep resentment, or distain, or distrust, or all of the above towards men in general- which will damn any traditional man/woman LTR chances from the get go.

 

[Giselle Montreal]

I want to be a sex worker when I grow up said no girl ever.

Nobody ever dreamt of most of the jobs that exist today.

And of course, children aren't sexually active, they won't dream of being sex workers.

 

[Ol' Dirty Bastard]

Let's have an honest conversation now. I want to be a sex worker when I grow up said no girl ever.

But you dreamt of being a John and hanging out on TERB, right? Since we're being honest and all.

 

[YoYoHoward]

I’ll tell you what I can’t figure out. Many of these women are very good looking and very good company. It really can’t be that hard to pick up a high-earning young man on Bay Street on a Thursday. Absolutely blow his mind the way only an experienced woman can, then convert it to a stable relationship. Tell him a month or two in that she was a sex worker so it’s not hanging over their heads down the road.

I’d gladly give up my ATF if she found a real relationship with a successful man, which I’ve encouraged her to do.

But every time an SP under 30 shows me a picture of her boyfriend, it’s a tattooed drug dealer or “DJ”.

I get the feeling some of these women just don’t make good life choices. I mean I get grabbing a few extra bucks to pay for school, rent, kids etc but a lot of these women could easily get a high-earning man but seem to repeatedly choose assholes and losers.

 

[Jenesis]

It seems many people in this thread are passively aggressively shaming you for even asking the question. I'll talk about a couple elephants in the room which others won't.
Let's have an honest conversation now. I want to be a sex worker when I grow up said no girl ever. Unfortunately it seems most of the women come from an abusive childhood, or had absent parents, and/or have mental or emotional heath issues which doesn't bode well for traditional LTR's being successful.

Plus, putting the previous mentioned issues aside, it seems the longer a woman is in this business the higher the chance she will develop a deep resentment, or distain, or distrust, or all of the above towards men in general- which will damn any traditional man/woman LTR chances from the get go.

Many years ago some women may have gotten into the business for the some Of the reasons you mentioned but with the liberal ideals nowadays and stigma of sex worker dropping faster and faster with the launch of SB sites and OF, this is just not necessarily true any more. Sure, it would still be the same for some but not the majority anymore.

And many more mainstream women are resenting men and the patrearcy for more reasons then just sex work. More and more women are avoiding "traditional" relationships because it is just voluntary slavery for them with the added bonus of having to work a full time job and pay half the bills. Too many women have now realized that they can take care of there own bills and don't need men like our grandparents did. My grandmother couldnt get a house or credit card without her husbands permission and signature. Now more single women are out buying men in the hosuing market.

So again, what you are saying may have been true in the past but times changed.

 

[Patron]

It seems many people in this thread are passively aggressively shaming you for even asking the question. I'll talk about a couple elephants in the room which others won't.
Let's have an honest conversation now. I want to be a sex worker when I grow up said no girl ever. Unfortunately it seems most of the women come from an abusive childhood, or had absent parents, and/or have mental or emotional heath issues which doesn't bode well for traditional LTR's being successful.

Plus, putting the previous mentioned issues aside, it seems the longer a woman is in this business the higher the chance she will develop a deep resentment, or distain, or distrust, or all of the above towards men in general- which will damn any traditional man/woman LTR chances from the get go.

I disagree with abusive / absentee parents and the mental health part.

I will grant you that most sex workers are children of divorced parents - more than the 50 percent that you would expect from the fifty percent you would expect from the fifty percent divorce rate in marriages. I suppose those percentages get distorted by single parenthood, but my point is that sex workers learned at some point, often very young, to view life transactionally. Nothing does that like going from mommy‘s house to daddy’s house and then back and forth.

The irony is that just about every aspect of life in the Western World has become transactional now, and less oriented toward a lifelong marriage, 2.5 kids, and one job with a breadwinner. Most people who get married do so several times, many people never marry, and there are fewer kids because they are such a massive obligation. During the Bill Clinton days, he said in a speech that the average person would have 8 jobs in their life. That has probably gone up to 12 or more by now, and it is better for it to go up, not down, since going down likely means that AI took over.

The original poster should tell us if he is an old Baby Boomer. They are usually the ones who are most reluctant to view life transactionally. Seems like the sex workers actually have a leg up on most everyone in this new world. The heartwarming thing is that the sex workers who have kids take wonderful care of them and often entered the business to support them. They realize the only way to raise a successful kid in this world is to be able to spend a lot of money on them.

 

[SinnamonFairbanks]

I came here thinking this was about them changing careers and moving on with life lol.

Some people dont care. Society tells women that our body count makes us less valuable but there are men out there that care to some degree but love us regardless. No one's perfect. Ive had people tell me they were OK with what I did because I was safe about it. They dont like it, but I always used condoms for everything and that in some way makes it easier in their mind.

People that know about what I do honestly make a lot of dick jokes. I dont think that will ever stop. I surround myself with the right people and they poke fun at me from time to time but they mean well and its not meant to hurt me. They're proud of me and they're proud to know me and they make fun of me how they would anyone else.

One example is, im basically illiterate when it comes to measurements and I always have been. Im not dumb but even a basic education when I was young was hard because of shitty parents and extreme poverty. I still get stuff done, but I haven't had as much practice and I have to write everything down. I still get stuff done, it just takes longer. Anyway, knowing that, I have a friend who tells me how big something is in "dicks" he would give me the shirt off his back... but tells me how big something is in dicks instead of inches and feet. He doesnt care how many people I've been with. He just likes the opportunity to make jokes about it.

I frequently wonder how Sp who have been working this industry for many years go about being honest about their sexual history in a relationship. Don’t get me wrong… I have nothing but the highest respect for all of these beautiful ladies and they have worked miracles on me for many years. But let’s face it… many of these ladies have been with 3-5-8 hundred or even thousands of men. Again… no judgement, but how do they go about explaining to someone In a new relationship that this has been their life? Or do they leave it out? Just wondering and would love some insight on this…. Just as lounge chit chat.

 

[Midnight Hammer]

But you dreamt of being a John and hanging out on TERB, right? Since we're being honest and all.

I'm not a John. I have had much success on an app who is one of the top advertisers on this website- Ashley Madison. I'm probably having sex with a members wife of this site.
Here's an honest truth to the men here. It's not she does't want to suck cock and fuck anymore.
She doesn't want to with YOU anymore.

 

[SinnamonFairbanks]

Bless your heart. Out here doing God's work fucking people's neglected wives. Keep up the good work.

I'm not a John. I have had much success on an app who is one of the top advertisers on this website- Ashley Madison. I'm probably having sex with a members wife of this site.
Here's an honest truth to the men here. It's not she does't want to suck cock and fuck anymore.
She doesn't want to with YOU anymore.

 

[Ol' Dirty Bastard]

I'm not a John.

Of course you're not. You're just here for the articles. Just like every other guy on the toronto ESCORT review board.

 

[Midnight Hammer]

Bless your heart. Out here doing God's work fucking people's neglected wives. Keep up the good work.

Thank you Sinnamon. It's philanthropy.

 

[Patron]

I’ll tell you what I can’t figure out. Many of these women are very good looking and very good company. It really can’t be that hard to pick up a high-earning young man on Bay Street on a Thursday. Absolutely blow his mind the way only an experienced woman can, then convert it to a stable relationship. Tell him a month or two in that she was a sex worker so it’s not hanging over their heads down the road.

I’d gladly give up my ATF if she found a real relationship with a successful man, which I’ve encouraged her to do.

But every time an SP under 30 shows me a picture of her boyfriend, it’s a tattooed drug dealer or “DJ”.

I get the feeling some of these women just don’t make good life choices. I mean I get grabbing a few extra bucks to pay for school, rent, kids etc but a lot of these women could easily get a high-earning man but seem to repeatedly choose assholes and losers.

You make one point I agree with. Modern music and cinema glorifies drug dealers and DJs - how many kids grew up listening to Canadian Avril Lavigne’s unrealistic Skater Boi.

Beyond that, I really don’t think what you propose is particularly realistic.

There are not as many high-earning young men vis-a-vis young women as in decades before. As a consequence of this, sociologists have noted that as early as high school, and certainly during college, the best looking, highest earning prospects of young men become players. So he wouldn’t likely want to marry the sex worker trying to pick him up, although he would definitely fuck her without compensating her.

In the modern technology world, there just aren’t an abundance of young, good-looking men or women by themselves at a bar like there either was in the 1970s and 1980s (either in reality or the overly optimistic minds of Baby Boomers). So she can’t just approach him like what happens on a TV show, with him just sitting by himself. Maybe he is waiting for someone for a short period of time, but the only way to really meet someone is an arrangement via technology.

And life is no longer a 9 to 5 endeavor. If he is a young, high earner, he is at the fucking office till 8 or 9 pm, and not going to the bar afterward. Most young guys with a social life aren’t high-earners unless they inherited.

For some proverbial high-earning, good-looking young man looking for a #tradwife to give her a cushy life, he is going to find her in his past, like school or church. High-income, high net worth families have systems in place early on, such as private schools and church groups to accomplish this feat. And most high-earning young men around Bay Street came from such a background. Doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy fucking a great sex worker, but there are plenty of barriers in place to keep him from being picked up on the street by one.

In reality, life has become a lot more segregated than ever before in terms of marriage within socioeconomic groups. And relatively few guys who spend most of their youth skateboarding rarely become millionaire guitar players. Happened every once in a while, but not often. And it will be less so now that music is free and can be played at will.

The only good news is that the upper-end sex worker can earn just as much as the Bay Street guy. So she doesn’t actually need to pick him up.

 

[Massivo]

OP, you do realize sex workers have normal lives like everyone else. They go shopping, on vacations, have friends and family , read books, go to restaurants, have hobbies, go for hikes, play sports, attend events, hit the gym, but most importantly HAVE RELATIONSHIPS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!

These women have lives just like everyone else. Some are married or have significant others already. Some have children and have built loving homes.. Not every guy is held up on the fact if their lady is a sex worker. Especially in this day and age where there’s so many realms and ways to be a part of the adult industry. I am almost certain, most men know a woman that’s sex worker and don’t even know it. It’s about discretion. If she wants to be public about her work and tell the world, that is her call and good on her. You either take it or leave it. When or if she wants to be in a relationship, that’s a conversation for her and her partner. Some guys will have issue, some won’t. But her occupation does not make her less than anyone else. She a person just like everyone else. Plus like people have pointed out, what do you tell a lady your interested in when the conversation comes up? Do you mention every single provider/worker you have seen? C’mon now think about it.

Honesty, I believe your question OP. came in a good place and curiosity, but if you really respect these women, don’t worry about that. Be a good client. Enjoy your time seeing them and be happy for whatever she does outside of work. But don’t pry or make assumptions. Don’t worry about what’s going in their personal life, but know they have personal lives. If they let you in that part of their world, cool. If they don’t, treat it like you treat your doctor. You know he/she has a life outside of his visiting hours - respect them and mind your business!

slick

Exactly.

I've only heard this kind of question asked in the context of an inmate who has done hard time.

As far as I know SP's are not serving time, although I did sleep with someone who was on probation lol...

There is no need for them to integrate back into society...they never left it to begin with...

 

[LP191]

I’m still friends with a lot of retired ladies of the trade and I would say half of them want nothing to do with men lol and I can’t blame them

I’m over the 200 threshold myself when it comes to my own count of women I’ve slept with and even I’m getting sick of it tbh lmao

 

[SinnamonFairbanks]

I don't think it's that complicated. I think the people that seem to truly accept us are the men that are generally losers.

Ive dated men that were massive losers and some less so but I still paid for everything. I made a lot more money than them.

When you make a lot of money you're not really looking to a man for money or success. You're looking to be "seen" and your looking for intimacy.

The loser is just looking for a free meal ticket and clout.

When I get sexualized all day by people projecting their fantasies onto me, its nice to come home and have a normal conversation about something that isn't sex. Most people can't separate the person from the job. They think I'm always DTF and I always want to talk about sex. Its the total opposite. I'd rather talk about anything else but lots of people dont get that.

"Normal" people don't want to be associated with the job because they assume we are into some type of lifestyle that would make them look bad. They assume they're going to be ridiculed by their friends. Ridiculed at their job. They start picking fights over every little thing and getting jealous everytime we go out or have a conversation with a man.

Those losers are like emotional support animals. We feed them and take care of them and they bring us comfort but they aren't good for much else. They serve their purpose. I think it has a lot to do with self esteem too.

It takes a special kind of man to be with a sex worker and truly love them and not mistreat them. In 20 years, I've met 2 people who genuinely didnt judge me and never threw my job in my face. Lots of people wanted to use me but only 2 people genuinely treated me like a human being and treated me how they would treat anyone else. I meet a lot of people who expect me to be genuine, empathetic, kind and accomodating but they pigeon hole me as a sex object that they only contact when they need something or they constantly fetishized me. It's tiring. Meeting people who genuinely reciprocate is rare. Those losers aren't anything special but I think women settle thinking they can't find anything better. They can. Its just hard.

Its a hard world to navigate and dating a loser is easier than finding love with a higher value man. He stays in his own lane and is happy making less money and being taken care of. Higher value men think they can cheat, get 3 somes and say and do whatever they want sometimes. Its easier to stay single.

You make one point I agree with. Modern music and cinema glorifies drug dealers and DJs - how many kids grew up listening to Canadian Avril Lavigne’s unrealistic Skater Boi.

Beyond that, I really don’t think what you propose is particularly realistic.

There are not as many high-earning young men vis-a-vis young women as in decades before. As a consequence of this, sociologists have noted that as early as high school, and certainly during college, the best looking, highest earning prospects of young men become players. So he wouldn’t likely want to marry the sex worker trying to pick him up, although he would definitely fuck her without compensating her.

In the modern technology world, there just aren’t an abundance of young, good-looking men or women by themselves at a bar like there either was in the 1970s and 1980s (either in reality or the overly optimistic minds of Baby Boomers). So she can’t just approach him like what happens on a TV show, with him just sitting by himself. Maybe he is waiting for someone for a short period of time, but the only way to really meet someone is an arrangement via technology.

And life is no longer a 9 to 5 endeavor. If he is a young, high earner, he is at the fucking office till 8 or 9 pm, and not going to the bar afterward. Most young guys with a social life aren’t high-earners unless they inherited.

For some proverbial high-earning, good-looking young man looking for a #tradwife to give her a cushy life, he is going to find her in his past, like school or church. High-income, high net worth families have systems in place early on, such as private schools and church groups to accomplish this feat. And most high-earning young men around Bay Street came from such a background. Doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy fucking a great sex worker, but there are plenty of barriers in place to keep him from being picked up on the street by one.

In reality, life has become a lot more segregated than ever before in terms of marriage within socioeconomic groups. And relatively few guys who spend most of their youth skateboarding rarely become millionaire guitar players. Happened every once in a while, but not often. And it will be less so now that music is free and can be played at will.

The only good news is that the upper-end sex worker can earn just as much as the Bay Street guy. So she doesn’t actually need to pick him up.

 

[rooroo2]

I don't think it's that complicated. I think the people that seem to truly accept us are the men that are generally losers.

Ive dated men that were massive losers and some less so but I still paid for everything. I made a lot more money than them.

When you make a lot of money you're not really looking to a man for money or success. You're looking to be "seen" and your looking for intimacy.

The loser is just looking for a free meal ticket and clout.

When I get sexualized all day by people projecting their fantasies onto me, its nice to come home and have a normal conversation about something that isn't sex. Most people can't separate the person from the job. They think I'm always DTF and I always want to talk about sex. Its the total opposite. I'd rather talk about anything else but lots of people dont get that.

"Normal" people don't want to be associated with the job because they assume we are into some type of lifestyle that would make them look bad. They assume they're going to be ridiculed by their friends. Ridiculed at their job. They start picking fights over every little thing and getting jealous everytime we go out or have a conversation with a man.

Those losers are like emotional support animals. We feed them and take care of them and they bring us comfort but they aren't good for much else. They serve their purpose. I think it has a lot to do with self esteem too.

It takes a special kind of man to be with a sex worker and truly love them and not mistreat them. In 20 years, I've met 2 people who genuinely didnt judge me and never threw my job in my face. Lots of people wanted to use me but only 2 people genuinely treated me like a human being and treated me how they would treat anyone else. I meet a lot of people who expect me to be genuine, empathetic, kind and accomodating but they pigeon hole me as a sex object that they only contact when they need something or they constantly fetishized me. It's tiring. Meeting people who genuinely reciprocate is rare. Those losers aren't anything special but I think women settle thinking they can't find anything better. They can. Its just hard.

Its a hard world to navigate and dating a loser is easier than finding love with a higher value man. He stays in his own lane and is happy making less money and being taken care of. Higher value men think they can cheat, get 3 somes and say and do whatever they want sometimes. Its easier to stay single.

You complain about the way men treat you as a sexual object and only contact you when they want to meet up for sex (confusing since most SPs don't want any contact outside business). But the way you talk about other humans and relationships is just as rotten. Is it really any wonder why you would attract these 'losers' with no self-esteem as you so kindly put it?

 

[The Options Menu]

Damnnnn I didn’t know I needed to integrate back to society after working this job

My plan after this job? Probably to finally use the degree I earned and never put to use lol

Funny. I always assumed it was a lot more like Face/Off*.


* A notoriously bad, possibly so bad it's good, movie.

 

[AlinaDD]

I don't feel like I'm outside of society so I don't need to reintrgrate myself back in. I am secretive and private about my SP career and also have a normal job which makes that easier for me. That's why I don't show my face in my photos or social media, do videos or video chat. I certainly don't make being an SP my entire personality or shout from the rooftops about it. These girls would have more difficulty than someone like me. I had a stripper friend who went to business school then was promptly outsted from her job once a coworker outed her and it got around the office. It really doesn't pay to be completely transparent and visible.

 

[Josephine]

I frequently wonder how Sp who have been working this industry for many years go about being honest about their sexual history in a relationship. Don’t get me wrong… I have nothing but the highest respect for all of these beautiful ladies and they have worked miracles on me for many years. But let’s face it… many of these ladies have been with 3-5-8 hundred or even thousands of men. Again… no judgement, but how do they go about explaining to someone In a new relationship that this has been their life? Or do they leave it out? Just wondering and would love some insight on this…. Just as lounge chit chat.

This idea that we need the acceptance of men and that everyone wants to find their happy ending with only one guy is interesting but a bit limiting. I said it before my goal in life was never to settle with a guy, have 2.1 children, a golden retriever and a bungalow in the suburbs. So what men think of my body count is flying right over my head. Your loss lol