How I lost one of my favourite SP

[lurker_]

A few days ago an escort I would see on a regular basis reached out to me because of a problem and needed to 'borrow' quick cash immediately. Because my work has me traveling from time to time, I couldn't personally give it to her, but since she is someone I been seeing since late 2011 I figured I would be nice. I told her "I can't see you now because I'm not in the country, but I'll email the cash and see you when I get back." I gave her what she asked for and more simply because I understand shes in a jam, I wouldn't mind seeing her, and needs the help.

I'm finally back with some free time and I setup the appointment and she mentioned the fee. I explained that the cash I sent was double what she asked for and more than enough to cover the fee, but in her mind because she asked to 'borrow' the cash, I still had to pay to see her. At this point I'm already disappointed in her way of thinking, and just said thanks for the great times.

Obviously she is only pulling this crap because she wants more money, but what is the real let down is how she couldn't be reasoned with. I strongly feel any reasonable sp who just took the time to stop and think would remember that

~ I been a client for a few years
~ I frequently see her
~ I am someone she could have called when in need for help and receive the help.

I don't think she owes me anything. I even can see how she couldn't understand I gave the extra to see her when I got back, but its just so disappointing how she treated the situation. Its a shame really.... but nothing I can do. All I know is I wont ever see her again.

Well thats how the first 1/2 of my day went.

 

[superstar_88]

You got scammed. It's all about the money. You had to learn it the hard way.

 

[drlove]

I was seeing an escort a few years back who was a 22 year old Jennifer Aniston look a like, only hotter! Anyway, I saw her exclusively for awhile, and we became 'friends'. One day she asked to borrow $500 for a car payment, as she was in a bit of a bind. She offered to pay it back or put it toward a future session with her. While I really enjoyed seeing her and appreciated her predicament, I had to say no, for the reasons mentioned in the above posts.

 

[peter4025]

It happened to many of us. Don't feel bad. Lesson learned and move on. On the other hand I can't understand s providers like her they, they don't mind lose a regular customer- income for a little bit of money

 

[xmontrealer]

This happened to me 3 or 4 times over the past 8 years (magic loan number usually $200). I said "No" immediately. In no case was there an argument back, and sessions after did not suffer.

The sole exception to my rule:
The one time I gave in was with an MPA who I was quite into, and had a bit of an "outside the room" texting and flirting thing going on. She asked me for a $200 loan after seeing each other once or twice a week for 8 weeks or so. I gave the money to her, but told her it is a gift, not a loan, and as an explanation I said "A loan fucks things up!". She accepted it, and never asked me for a loan or extra gift again. We kept seeing each other until she moved to another city a few months later, which was probably just as well.

 

[asterwald]

At least get her to pay you back dude.

 

[freestuff]

At least get her to pay you back dude.

Good luck with that.

 

[DanJ]

The sole exception to my rule:
The one time I gave in was with an MPA who I was quite into, and had a bit of an "outside the room" texting and flirting thing going on. She asked me for a $200 loan after seeing each other once or twice a week for 8 weeks or so. I gave the money to her, but told her it is a gift, not a loan, and as an explanation I said "A loan fucks things up!". She accepted it, and never asked me for a loan or extra gift again. We kept seeing each other until she moved to another city a few months later, which was probably just as well.

And we can assume no return "gift" was ever made?

I usually look at a loan to a friend as a gift because odds are, you aren't going to see it again. Sometimes you get surprised..

 

[xmontrealer]

And we can assume no return "gift" was ever made?

I usually look at a loan to a friend as a gift because odds are, you aren't going to see it again. Sometimes you get surprised..

You got that right! No gift back. I rationalized it by saying to myself that the substantial amount of time we spent communicating outside the room was free to me. Of course to her, it was probably just "account maintenance" (he said, cynically).

As I've said in other threads, best to keep things"in the room", and if you feel yourself developing actual feelings for the girl, it's probably time to move on.

She still crosses my mind from time to time, though. Hard to know what I'd do if she came back to Toronto and contacted me to resume our relationship.

 

[Jiffypop69]

I think the smart thing to say in this thread is that I wouldn't lend to an SP under most circumstances. There...that should stop any that read this from asking for a loan

As for your predicament, that's a bummer for sure. You lost a regular friend, and money...but you learned a lot more about HER. Everybody is different.

 

[Mr Bret]

Sounds to me like a lack of communication right from the get go.
Apparently you both weren't clear as to whether it was a gift or a loan and what the pay back terms should be.

I once lent an MPA a few hundred dollars. The agreement was clear from the beginning. It was a loan. No interest. No real pay back deadline. I was prepared to forfeit the money, but I trusted her. I gave her the choice to either save some cash and pay me back or she could pay me back in services over time.
She paid me back in full in services. It was never awkward since we had discussed it up front.

 

[legmann]

Why on earth would you loan money to an SP? I've read about this many times - each time with the same result.
You loan money to friends - if an SP is really a friend, you wouldn't be paying her - period.

 

[SkyRider]

~ I am someone she could have called when in need for help and receive the help.

Yes, when you help someone in need, she will remember you the next time she is in need.

 

[harryass]

She should have paid you back with services. Is the sp still in the biz?

Don't lend money to friends also. I lent money to a friend. The slime fuck has never paid me back and has disappear. I heard after that he was doing this to other people too to pay for his gambling or debt.

 

[Ridgeman08]

Easiest way to kill a friendship- lend him/ her some money.

 

[james t kirk]

I don't get it.....

Say she needs 500 bucks "real bad"

She can make that in an hour or two working.

Why does she need to "borrow" it from a guy who probably isn't making near the kind of money she is (or at least has the ability to make "real fast"

I wish I had the kind of job where I could make 250 to 350 an hour at the drop of a hat.

I just don't understand and you have to ask yourself of all the guys she sees, why did she pick you?

I've loaned people money before and almost always regretted it. (I loaned my cousin $2,500.00 6 or 7 years ago, my one sibling leant her even more, and not a word about repayment since. (Long sad story.))

As the old saying goes, "neither a borrower or a lender be"

 

[Ms.FemmeFatale]

I've heard this before but don't understand it.

A true friend would make arrangements to pay you back if it's considered a loan, not just forget about it and create resentment.
Even if the payments are a trickle of money, if it's paid back on some schedule that would be acceptable to me.

I think it's best to tell the friend up front that it's a gift and not a loan and then both people know that's the end of it and nothing has to be paid back.
No guilt is felt by the friend, no resentment from the loaner.

This is why if you want to keep your friends, don't lend them money.

 

[Born2Star]

I've heard this before but don't understand it.

A true friend would make arrangements to pay you back if it's considered a loan, not just forget about it and create resentment.

No, a true friend will never ask to lend money. C'mon in this day and age there're so many ways to borrow money from other business sources.... and if he/she has exhausted all those ..... should you still lend him/her money?

I don't get it.....

Say she needs 500 bucks "real bad"

She can make that in an hour or two working.

Why does she need to "borrow" it from a guy who probably isn't making near the kind of money she is (or at least has the ability to make "real fast"

I wish I had the kind of job where I could make 250 to 350 an hour at the drop of a hat.

I just don't understand and you have to ask yourself of all the guys she sees, why did she pick you?

Simple, because she's not only asking him !



Never lend friends money, give them and never worry about anything in return. Treat it as charity and if you believe in karma, something good will happen to you.

 

[superstar_88]

Precisely, there's such thing as a bank. Get a line of credit. Quick and easy cash anytime you need it. I have two. Haven't used it in years.

That's her modis operandi. OP was nothing special to her. OP might feel differently but that's the sad reality.

I once had a "friend" ask me to buy her a purse for about $500 online and have it delivered to her. I abruptly said no. I'm sure I'm not the only guy she's asking for stuff from.

 

[blackrock13]

No, a true friend will never ask to lend money. C'mon in this day and age there're so many ways to borrow money from other business sources.... and if he/she has exhausted all those ..... should you still lend him/her money?

Simple, because she's not only asking him !

Never lend friends money, give them and never worry about anything in return. Treat it as charity and if you believe in karma, something good will happen to you.

I don't get this.

A true friendship is based on many things. As the old joke goes; a friend will help you move, a true friend will help you move the body.

A true friendship is based on years of giving and taking; a hand, a shoulder, a back, an ear, and occasionally a boot to the head, whatever it takes to make it work and last. A true friend of mine, a really short list, but clearly longer than most people and I am blessed as a result, would know that to ask me for money, more than just a meal, a coffee, or taxi fare, would signify a real need and had better be just that, not just a bump until payday or the end of the month. I have done just that, in an amount that would makes others raise an eyebrow, yet never chastise me, and I've never not been willing to do so or been in a position to not afford to it. If it comes back, great, not necessarily in the form of cash, but if not, so be it. More often than not it has. A life, family, a business was saved and that's good enough for me. On the other hand a number of 'friends', some repetitively , have asked and been told nicely no, for all the right reasons.

The friendship between an SP and a 'client' can surely cross that line in time, but it would be rare to go to where I would call it a real close friendship. Much like gambling, if you can't afford to just give the money, don't. Call it want you want, but it is in no way a loan. If you do get it returned, bonus.