How much severance to pay mistress?
- Thread starter fuji
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Severance
I'd tell her and then ask her how much time -- not money -- she needs to find work. Then you're negotiating, not guessing. I'd say a month is a minimum and three months is the maximum. A lot depends on her work skills and ambition which you didn't describe.
I'd tell her and then ask her how much time -- not money -- she needs to find work. Then you're negotiating, not guessing. I'd say a month is a minimum and three months is the maximum. A lot depends on her work skills and ambition which you didn't describe.
To Pay Or Not To Pay???
Well Mr. Womanizing Slimeball, what an existential quandary!!! It does not look like you have any formal agreement with her. So the decision is for you and you to make. Perhaps when you take into account of your feelings or the lack of for her, how fat you bank account is and your ability to pay (i.e., from you can pay zero to you can pay millions), the estimated time that she can get a full time job, and so on. It does look like you can walk away and owe her nothing. Or you can walk away and give her something. From the way you frame the title of this thread, it looks like you will give her something. Since you put the issue up for discussion, perhaps you do not mind letting us know of your final decision on this matter??? May the force be with you.
Well Mr. Womanizing Slimeball, what an existential quandary!!! It does not look like you have any formal agreement with her. So the decision is for you and you to make. Perhaps when you take into account of your feelings or the lack of for her, how fat you bank account is and your ability to pay (i.e., from you can pay zero to you can pay millions), the estimated time that she can get a full time job, and so on. It does look like you can walk away and owe her nothing. Or you can walk away and give her something. From the way you frame the title of this thread, it looks like you will give her something. Since you put the issue up for discussion, perhaps you do not mind letting us know of your final decision on this matter??? May the force be with you.
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I wouldn't discount the blackmail factor too much. Sometimes in the heat of the moment she might do something that you will regret. I would be generous and as accommodating as possible. Good luck and let us know how you made out.fuji said:
if she balckmails write an editorial confessing all that has happened.......Include your willingness to loose your wife so that you can be with her and marry her. You want to become as one.
She will not want to hear you are bored with her, and don’t want to continue giving her money. It would be better to wean her off the money. Tell her you are having financial problems, and will not be able to see her as often, or giver her as much money. Chances are that if you do end the relationship suddenly, you will want to see her again in a couple of weeks for a last fling anyway. So take it slow, and get some enjoyment out the severance money you want to give her.
fuji, womanizing slimeball or not, you are a gentleman.
To those who say this is a business arrangement, and he owes her nothing, I disagree. Yes, this is a business, but there is truly no business like it, as real human emotions and expectations are unavoidable. Fuji is not interested in the 'letter of the law' - if he were, he wouldn't be asking us for our input. He is looking to Do the Right Thing.
A month sounds right to me - 2 months if you can comfortably afford it, as it gives her a chance to ramp up to some other source of income. Whether or not she uses that opportunity is up to her.
For a majority of insightful, thoughtful posts so far, I award this thread the
To those who say this is a business arrangement, and he owes her nothing, I disagree. Yes, this is a business, but there is truly no business like it, as real human emotions and expectations are unavoidable. Fuji is not interested in the 'letter of the law' - if he were, he wouldn't be asking us for our input. He is looking to Do the Right Thing.
A month sounds right to me - 2 months if you can comfortably afford it, as it gives her a chance to ramp up to some other source of income. Whether or not she uses that opportunity is up to her.
For a majority of insightful, thoughtful posts so far, I award this thread the
it depends
Do you want to do "good" by her? Pay her handsomely then, and let her know the relationship is ending.
If it were me, I'd want to pay as little as possible - for me such a relationship is still a business relationship.
As such, if there is any kind of risk, I'd pay her what it would take to eliminate the risk.
If there is no risk I'd give her a few weeks notice, pay her for services for those weeks. And end it - as soon as you can.
If there is risk, as another has pointed out, do not hesitate to lie and make excuses - you're in bad health; you've run out of money; someone suspects,; etc. But if there is really no threat at all to ending it, end it and pay as little as possible. (unless you want to be a goodie two shoes.)
Do you want to do "good" by her? Pay her handsomely then, and let her know the relationship is ending.
If it were me, I'd want to pay as little as possible - for me such a relationship is still a business relationship.
As such, if there is any kind of risk, I'd pay her what it would take to eliminate the risk.
If there is no risk I'd give her a few weeks notice, pay her for services for those weeks. And end it - as soon as you can.
If there is risk, as another has pointed out, do not hesitate to lie and make excuses - you're in bad health; you've run out of money; someone suspects,; etc. But if there is really no threat at all to ending it, end it and pay as little as possible. (unless you want to be a goodie two shoes.)
KBear said:
Makes sense to me. When you stop paying her, she will be the one who wants to break it off. BTW - your pics look pretty damn hot Kbear!
Speaking from my past experience with this type of situation, there are a few things that are concerning to me. I am not suggesting embellishment, however, in every single mistress relationship I have had; whereby, I was the Sugar Daddy, it has been my experience that the women have all fallen in love.
It doesn't happen at first. But after 6-8 months of getting to know each other in a professional manner, the I love you's start to ring true. Perhaps it is just me, but when you treat a women with love and respect in that type of relationship, pro or non-pro, they genuinely fall in love with you.
Are you starting to get guilty feelings, and want to "dump" her due to your guilt???
It doesn't happen at first. But after 6-8 months of getting to know each other in a professional manner, the I love you's start to ring true. Perhaps it is just me, but when you treat a women with love and respect in that type of relationship, pro or non-pro, they genuinely fall in love with you.
Are you starting to get guilty feelings, and want to "dump" her due to your guilt???
give her nothing
Don't give her anything, you told her not to rely on it and you paid her for your outings. If a client sees an sp regular for a year, he's not going to give her a severance when it's over, he's already paid her. If you're paying her for sex, she's an sp whether she likes it or not. As for your wife finding out, I'm sure she's got a few of her own secrets, she's probably keeping the hair parted regularily.
Don't give her anything, you told her not to rely on it and you paid her for your outings. If a client sees an sp regular for a year, he's not going to give her a severance when it's over, he's already paid her. If you're paying her for sex, she's an sp whether she likes it or not. As for your wife finding out, I'm sure she's got a few of her own secrets, she's probably keeping the hair parted regularily.
I narrowly avoided that. Early on I made the mistake of telling her about some problems in my marriage, and she started hinting at feelings of jealousy, and positioning herself as someone who wouldn't have those problems. Like, one time I said my wife doesn't always think I'm easy to talk to, and she said, "I find you very easy to talk to", and so on. I clued in and put a stop to that. I tell her only good things about my wife now, if I tell her anything at all, and I tell her that there's no chance she and I will ever have a deeper/longer-term relationship. The relationship is a little bit colder now (though still very friendly), which I think means I dodged that bullet.Chivas Regal said:
I'm not feeling guilty it's just time to move on to something or someone new. There have been opportunities with other women (some potential new mistresses, some potential new friends with benefits) that I had to pass up because she's occupying my one free night a week, so it's sometimes feels like an obligation to see her, rather than something I look forward to. I've already got a wife to spend obligatory quality time with, the 2nd woman in my life should be just for fun only.
One month is starting to sound like a consensus, that's probably what I'll do.Strongbeau said:
Sorry for not answering everyone's "how much" and "how did you arrange" questions. There might be a "standard rate" if you negotiated this sort of thing with an MPA or SP, but when you deal with civvy women there's really no standard. Different women have different expectations that bear no relation to "the market" becuase they aren't even aware that there is a market. So, I'd rather just leave it unsaid, since even if I did post the number, it wouldn't help you at all if you tried to set up a similar thing.
As for how I met her and set this up, that's equally random and one-off. She tried to sell me something. I made a joke about how hard she was trying to sell it, what would she throw in. Follow on joke about how much for that. She told me I was crazy. At the time I was trying to set this up and had been posting ads online, so then I showed her some of my ads and told her stories about the women who answered them (that never went anywhere) and what they asked for, etc., she said are you serious. More jokes, then made a deal, which seemed like a continuation of the joke. I wasn't sure if she would follow through with it, but she did. All in all pretty successful, it was great fun back when it was new.
