if you loaned money to a friend and that friend doesn't seem willing to pay back the loan. I don't really want to lose the friendship but I'm not sure it can be saved at this time :frusty:
I believe that when you loan money to a friend, you should be prepared to gift the entire amount if they cannot find it in themselves to pay it back. in other words, if you can't afford to lose the money then don't do the loan. If it does come back to you, treat it as a pleasant surprise. I don't like to borrow or loan money - ever - but I did loan 2 different friends some cash within the past couple of years. I told them both that I expected to be paid back, but that I would never bring the subject to their attention, and never did. I didn't want it to appear that I was holding it over them, I also didn't want it to effect our relationship while the money was outstanding. I thought that the dignified thing would be to allow them to show if they were good on their word. Both friends paid back the entire amount and I thought that it said a lot about their character.
If this person is showing no interest at all in repaying your kindness, you are better off without them. It says much about their (lack of) respect for you. Learn from it...
I like this approach. You made your expectations clear while at the same time putting full responsibility on their shoulders. You weren't demanding and you did not hold them to a repayment schedule they couldn't meet. If they did not repay they had no one else blame. To wit- you can run away from others, but you can't run from yourself.
I like this approach. You made your expectations clear while at the same time putting full responsibility on their shoulders. You weren't demanding and you did not hold them to a repayment schedule they couldn't meet. If they did not repay they had no one else blame. To wit- you can run away from others, but you can't run from yourself.
Bingo. This is exactly what I was trying to say. You put the responsibility on the borrower, and they have to look at themselves in the mirror. It would be embarrassing to me to always hound someone to do what is right...
I have followed this thread closely and continue to shake my head. Either it is a loan OR it is a gift. Loans get repaid, gifts do not. I do not get why so many are willing to call something a loan (or recommend "loaning" without expectation of repayment) yet see nothing wrong with it not getting repaid if the loanee(?) is a "friend." When someone asks you for a loan, how can it be ok for them NOT to intend to repay it? If you are going to ask for money, with no intention of repayong it, at least have the decency to ask for a "gift" and not call it a loan. Have some dignity...and be honest
It's not so much that you need to view this as a gift, but rather a recognition that your chances of being repaid from a "friend" are on the low side of the scale. As so many have pointed out in this post, it is quite common for people to choose not to repay a loan, and it seems that keeping the money in their own pocket is more important to them than keeping their word and their dignity. Hell, they don't even feel obligated to repay the bank, and the bank can hurt their credit score.
My point is that you should go into these agreements with your eyes wide open and not be shocked when it goes south. Therefore, you should only loan money that you can afford to lose. I chose top help a friend, and felt that I should consider myself fortunate to be in a position to help. I was fortunate, but many learn the hard way...
