Interesting thread and interesting response.
"Chat with girls with no expectations and see what happens and go with the flow." Easier said than done.
To a Babyboomer chat would probably mean approach a lady at a gathering, grocery store, church, bus stop, at work, walking down the street, at a game, etc. Probably the hardest task cause now on days, you're probably seen as creepy for even approaching and saying hi to a pretty lady ( Stranger of course) Those days are long gone.
To a generation X male, it would probably mean. Thru friends, clubs, work, gym, Dating sites, via email, text messages, facebook, Twitter,some Instagram. Probably the easiest age gap for success.
Millenials would probably mean, university, Tinder, instagram, Tik Tok, Snapchat, some twitter, etc. Easy to do yes, not very successful if you're not a real shark and you have to have short memory to move on to the next one if you're shutdown.
And let's not forget about introverted and extroverted men.
These does not include Sugarbabies of Course which are kinda like a SP.
So, I’m a pretty (some might say a very) introverted guy, who did “just ok” with girls as a teen/ young man, but was a bit shy to make the first move, which cost me a lot of opportunities with girls even where there seemed to be a mutual attraction. As I got a bit older, I had more women friends and colleagues. I got used to socializing with them, in a non sexual, non predatory way. I got comfortable talking to them. Had good conversations. Women are actually really interesting to talk to, way different than conversations with my guy friends and colleagues.
Taking this into social situations, I felt more comfortable just striking up a conversation with a woman I found attractive. Just a regular conversation. Get to know each other a bit, and show you pay attention, and notice them. Share funny stories. Laughter breaks a lot of barriers and inhibitions. It’s often nice to show that you notice something unique about them, and compliment them, even as an icebreaker. Not “hey that low cut dress makes your tits look great” rather, “cool shoes, I’ve never seen that style before” or “you really seem into this song” or if they are sipping on an interesting cocktail “ what are you drinking? looks really interesting “. If she offers you a taste, especially from her straw, it’s a pretty good signal that she is interested. These aren’t “lines” or “PUA” techniques, you are legitimately showing that you are interested.
Be generous but not pushy. “I’m going to grab another drink, could I get you one?” Rather than “BARTENDER, get the lady a drink!” And don’t just shower generosity on the hot girl, call and pay for the uber if you are in a group Tip well, but don’t go over the topIf you are out at a bar or restaurant NEVER demean the waitstaff. Your behaviour towards others says a lot about you as a person.
Be gentlemanly and show some class. As an
example, quite a while ago (several years)I was with a group of people at a club, dancing. One of the group was a younger woman, who was very attractive. There was a guy, not with us, who was pretty drunk and kept grabbing her to dance with him. Now I wasn’t going to challenge or threaten him (he was much bigger than me and the last time I got in a fight was when I was 12 on the school playground with the class bully) so I just leaned over to him and said into his ear “hey man, that’s my sister in law, OK?” and he’s was like “no problem” and left us alone. Later, the extra attention I got from the women in the group was obvious. One of the group who I knew better, told me later that they all were super impressed how I’d acted like such a “mensch”. Not flexing, just using this as an example of showing examples of your good character, who acts like a stand up guy, and yes, a man when it is necessary.
When chatting, show a bit about yourself, but don’t over share, and see how she responds and if she shares, then take the conversation deeper. I think humility and mild self deprecation wins out over cocky and overconfident.
This is a lot of work, and if you are going out for the night, and just want to take someone home to fuck, it is not that efficient (tho you’d be surprised how often women respond quickly to someone who is non threatening and demonstrates that they are a good guy). But just chatting with girls with no pressure, no expectations is a way of showing interest, and showing that you are interesting and a decent guy. That’s a decent way to start to see if there can be some mutual attraction. As much as the incels blame the hot ripped “chads” for having unfair advantages in getting all the hot girls, as you have heard many times here from women, they are a lot less interested in flash, super good looks, ripped bodies or cocky behaviour, than they are in a guy who notices them, pays attention, is a decent guy who knows how to carry himself out in the world.