how to control watching too much porn?

[RTRD]

Thank you...

Nobody chooses porn or SPs over a real relationship because of money. They just rationalize it that way.

...for speaking the truth.

That is EXACTLY what it is....if not for porn, than certainly for escorts.

No way I could afford to see escorts and get laid as often as I do now...and it ain't like I get laid every night.

But...I'm a single guy who lives in the city...and I do ok. to or three times a week.

In the escort game that is a 600 to 900 dollar a week habit. 3 or 4 grand A MONTH

Now I am sure some of you got it like that...but I sure as hell don't, so yeah...dating is the way to go for me.

 

[superman]

can someone give some ideas to do that? I watch too much porn, I want to stop it. I have no gf, i dont have millions, but i have average income. So i rather save my income than hobbying.

how much time do you spend?

 

[BallzDeep]

...you saw yourself.

Truth hurts like a motherfucker, doesn't it?

Time to make that call to your favorite agency

It kills me how people complain about posts on a message board that THEY DON'T HAVE TO READ...hello..you do know you aren't a captive audience, don't you?

Do you take your calculator with you on your dates? Let's see, she had the sirlion at 29.95, I had chicken at 19.95, she had 3 glasses of wine at 9$ each, I had 3 beer at 5.95. Tip was 20$. Cab ride home was 20$, but I was in the cab, so that's only 10$ spent on her. When you get home you turn the furnace up a few degrees higher so you calculate the extra cost of that, but you dim the lights so there is a savings there.

That's when she says, I'm so horny, you say, hold on I just have to add this up.

 

[Mr. Lucky]

You should go see a mistress

 

[RTRD]

MLAM..we are talking about the price of certainty and variety here....if your they type of guy that is content fucking the same pussy then I can see your point

That is where the multiple babes comes in. Now if you have to have 2 or 3 different ones EVERY WEEK...then yeah, the escort game is the way to go...if you can afford it. I can't.

Lemme ask you.

If you want pussy right now...and I mean NEW pussy, not pussy you are currently banging. Would you be able to say to yourself:

"ok I want some white pussy (or whatever you are in the hankering for)...$40.00 is my budget..and I want it right now"...

do you think you can even somewhat consistently go out and achieve this?

Nope. But you can't buy pussy for $40 either.

I get your point though...and I guess my response is that I've learn to exert a modicum of self control. I don't have to get laid EVERY time I get the whiff of an urge...and I don't have to fuck EVERY attractive woman I meet.

That said, yes, I understand what you are saying. I have never said hobbying for guys who are total poonhounds is bad...indeed, check my post history and you well see I said exactly the opposite (that is one of the two circumstances under which hobbying makes sense to me...I wouldn't do it, but I see why / how others do. The other would be to get it exactly the way you want it or when you want it because that isn't available at home...again, not for me, but I understand the appeal).

What I DON'T understand is guys who hobby in lieu of a relationship...even a casual one...and people who claim it is cheaper than dating. Those guys are fucking kidding themselves. And they also seem to be the ones who come crying about the feelings they developed for their ATF, and how she ripped them off on a "loan" or whatever.

You wanna bang some new pussy every week? Hobby is the way to go, if you can afford it (I can't). That wasn't what Jasmine Jazz was selling. She was selling that some guy who SHOULD be able to do ok in the dating game was instead coming to see her because it was cheaper and easier. I'm not buying that...I don't doubt he said it...hell, he might even believe it. But it is still bullshit.

girls are too smart these days; they know they can get much more out of you if they make you think they are gonna fuck you...and perhaps they will fuck you...in time.... but I dont think it would be a good assumption to make that if you pick up a girl and take her to swiss chalet you are gonna get laid for sure...you never know what it will take (because each chick is different)....she might cost you alot... she might not.

Then that makes you the fool if she costs you a lot.

True story - Earlier this week "Geena Davis" calls me up and sends me an email, trying to throw some business my way. It wasn't a fit, but I was grateful, so via email I promise to give her a call.

When we connect on Thursday (I called her, left voice mail, she called me), I again got "caught up". The girl has a seriously sexy voice. Plus, I do like her...she is cute, funny, interesting. She mentions she is taking Friday (yesterday off), and before I knew it, I was asking her out to lunch to this new place I have been digging on (La Castille...AMAZING lunch menu...essentially a $45 steak for $25 dollars...but only at lunch). She accepts.

Then...Thursday night...late...I start thinking...it has been 3 dates and this bitch hasn't put out yet...and she certainly didn't act like she was going to any time soon after the 3rd date (even though she paid...inexpensive Japanese place). We even talked about it...she said she was "Dealing with some things"...told me to date others...we could be friends. Whatever.

It occurs to me that given this, AND the time constraints (she had an early evening commitment...notice was too short to arrange child care), I definitely was not gonna get laid on Friday either.

Full Stop.

Why am I taking this bitch to a $100 lunch as a "friend", when she ain't my "friend"? We can do fucking sub sandwiches and hang out as "friends".

I call her Friday am, tell her we are no go, and explain why. She takes some exception..."I guess you are saying I am not worth a $100 lunch"...I tell her I'll be more than happy to return the favor when she treats me to same...she says "she can't really afford that type of thing"...I tell her that is exactly my point...so why am I taking her...as "a friend"? She says "but I guess we can have sub sandwiches or something"...I tell her "yup...gimme me a call when you wanna do that...my treat".

I presume I will never hear from her again...though I hope I do because she is fine and I so hate to leave pussy untapped.

But I am not going to punk myself trying to get it. Which is the point I am making to you.

I've gotten laid for 10 dollars worth of drinks by a girl who couldnt even speak english (and she was nowhere near drunk..I was more drunk than her)..and some girls have cost me a little more (mind you I only continue to spend on girls I actually like a lot). You cant win em all MLAM..not even you lol

No, you can't, but that is no reason to stop trying to win and to take up paying for it instead. Note: I said INSTEAD...not "on occassion". Based on what I read, many if not most of the guys here start hobbying IN LIEU OF dating...and now they are stuck. They have no idea how to meet women now...and thus, here they are.

I like pussy...especially new pussy...as much as the next guy. But I also STILL think...even after two failed marriages...that the genuine love of a woman is the ultimate and seminal experience on this earth for a man. I just have no idea how someone decides they don't want that...ever...going forward. Hell...it doesn't even have to be love...don't you guys remember what it was like to have a women fuck you because SHE WANTED TO fuck you? What it felt like to feel attractive...wanted? How can you just turn your back on that?

So yeah...I am prepared to cut down on variety, and take my chances on things that are not "sure", so that I can stay plugged into what it is like to be a social and romantic being. I don't want to forget that...I like it too much.

and you could end up spending alot while in pursuit of pussy,,whether its on the same girl or many girls simultaneously.

We covered this. If it happens, that is on you. Tighten your "game" up and learn the difference between being a player and being played.

and girls dont care about how they look...you're thinking like a guy trying to think like a girl

I am thinking a combination of what I have been told by women and what I have experienced.

This has nothing to do with your "game"....your "game" cant change the way someone is...I guess you just got lucky with 2 out of your three chicks.

its a crap shoot

True...but your "game" improves your odds...or do you think women decide who to sleep with SOLELY on looks and how much money a guy has? You mean to tell me you never have seen some guy who was clearly uglier than you and who (appeared) to not be of substantial means with a women you would LOVE to have riding your dick? I sure have.

Women get with men they...as individuals...find attractive. You, as a man, can ABSOLUTELY influence how attractive SOME subset of women find you. Some are attracted to humor...some to brains...some to fashion...some to confidence.

Yes, its a crap shoot...still no reason to give up. Instead, just improve your odds. To me that is easier and better than picking up a $1000/month pussy habit...and the associated self loathing.

Sure you move on...but by the time you get to the realization that you gotta cut em loose...they've already caused you hassle..and nobody wants that.

That would be the price to play. If you rather pay cash, so be it. Just for me...spending a weekend with someone who cooked me dinner, than fucked me one day...and the next day brought me a cold beer...turned on the football game, then slowly blew me...and then left a few hours later asking when we would see each other again, and then asking wouldn't it be better if she came during the week so I could have next weekend "to go out" (because she knows we are casual and she is kewl with that...she doesn't want to dominate my time or have me dominate hers...she knows there are others...al she has ever asked is that I treat her like a lady and with respect when we are together..and that I change the sheets for gawd's sake. I can do that.) is worth the "hassle" associated with ending a casual relationship...and certainly cheaper than the above mention "pussy habit".

All IMHO..which is all I am offering...because this is a message board, right?

 

[RTRD]

Yeah...

Do you take your calculator with you on your dates? Let's see, she had the sirlion at 29.95, I had chicken at 19.95, she had 3 glasses of wine at 9$ each, I had 3 beer at 5.95. Tip was 20$. Cab ride home was 20$, but I was in the cab, so that's only 10$ spent on her. When you get home you turn the furnace up a few degrees higher so you calculate the extra cost of that, but you dim the lights so there is a savings there.

That's when she says, I'm so horny, you say, hold on I just have to add this up.

...you are right. I suppose it is easier to just make that trip to the ATM, withdraw that $300, go to our favorite incall, wait for the guy before you to finish, then take your turn. Easier, but somehow just ever so slightly more pathetic...IMHO.

I think we are all clear now that you ain't me, and I ain't you. All that is left is for you to stop hating, and it will be all good...

haters...fuck...isn't that shit just a waste of time and effort?

 

[Mongrel4u]

Then that makes you the fool if she costs you a lot.

True story - Earlier this week "Geena Davis" calls me up and sends me an email, trying to throw some business my way. It wasn't a fit, but I was grateful, so via email I promise to give her a call.

When we connect on Thursday (I called her, left voice mail, she called me), I again got "caught up". The girl has a seriously sexy voice. Plus, I do like her...she is cute, funny, interesting. She mentions she is taking Friday (yesterday off), and before I knew it, I was asking her out to lunch to this new place I have been digging on (La Castille...AMAZING lunch menu...essentially a $45 steak for $25 dollars...but only at lunch). She accepts.

Then...Thursday night...late...I start thinking...it has been 3 dates and this bitch hasn't put out yet...and she certainly didn't act like she was going to any time soon after the 3rd date (even though she paid...inexpensive Japanese place). We even talked about it...she said she was "Dealing with some things"...told me to date others...we could be friends. Whatever.

It occurs to me that given this, AND the time constraints (she had an early evening commitment...notice was too short to arrange child care), I definitely was not gonna get laid on Friday either.

Full Stop.

ok...what if you're doing that with 4 different girls simultaneously (hypotheically speaking)....adds up and none of them may materialize.

No, you can't, but that is no reason to stop trying to win and to take up paying for it instead. Note: I said INSTEAD...not "on occassion". Based on what I read, many if not most of the guys here start hobbying IN LIEU OF dating...and now they are stuck. They have no idea how to meet women now...and thus, here they are.

I'm not saying to give up dating.. I agree...nothing is better than bagging a girl on your own skillz...but paying for it from time to time can make a lot of sense..economically, time wise, immediate satisfaction, convenience wise if all you want to do is get laid.

 

[RTRD]

Then....

ok...what if you're doing that with 4 different girls simultaneously (hypotheically speaking)....adds up and none of them may materialize.

...either your game is seriously weak, or you are playing in the wrong league, because I meet just TOO MANY women (not girls...women) who say that cannot get laid to save their lives. Now, of course they are lying...we all know that any REMOTELY attractive woman can get laid whenever she wants...she could just go to any pick up bar and speak to guys until one took her home and fucked her.

But women LIKE the ritual of "courtship", even if it all last just one date from "hello" to bumping uglies. So...these women's complaint is that men no longer approach them...no longer ask them out...because they are beyond age 35 and beyond size 4. Me? I'm good up to size 14 and age 54 (just kidding..but 44 is no problem...I'm 41) so...lucky me. Like I said before, its an under served and untapped market, the sexually mature REAL WOMAN, whose male peers are all either married or obsessed with bikini models.

I'm not saying to give up dating.. I agree...nothing is better than bagging a girl on your own skillz...but paying for it from time to time can make a lot of sense..economically, time wise, immediate satisfaction, convenience wise if all you want to do is get laid.

I disagree with "economically"...I just don't see how paying $250/hr is cheaper than a decent $75 dinner date...even if you have to repeat three times...but otherwise, yeah, we are on the same page. I don't do it, but I understand how others do under THIS rationale.

The thing is though...I don't believe most of the (single...married guys have different issues and probably shouldn't get into something potentially complicated) guys here on TERB still date...

 

[Back Burner]

I agree with MLAM. This myth of the "reason guys are seeing SP's because it's cheaper then having a girlfriend" has run it's course. Let's get real here.

 

[Mongrel4u]

...either your game is seriously weak, or you are playing in the wrong league, because I meet just TOO MANY women (not girls...women) who say that cannot get laid to save their lives. Now, of course they are lying...we all know that any REMOTELY attractive woman can get laid whenever she wants...she could just go to any pick up bar and speak to guys until one took her home and fucked her.

But women LIKE the ritual of "courtship", even if it all last just one date from "hello" to bumping uglies. So...these women's complaint is that men no longer approach them...no longer ask them out...because they are beyond age 35 and beyond size 4. Me? I'm good up to size 14 and age 54 (just kidding..but 44 is no problem...I'm 41) so...lucky me. Like I said before, its an under served and untapped market, the sexually mature REAL WOMAN, whose male peers are all either married or obsessed with bikini models.

ok well thats clear now... you're going for older women...anyone can get those for next to nothing...not knocking it just saying it as it is

I disagree with "economically"...I just don't see how paying $250/hr is cheaper than a decent $75 dinner date...even if you have to repeat three times...but otherwise, yeah, we are on the same page. I don't do it, but I understand how others do under THIS rationale.

who says you have to see them for the hour?

 

[RTRD]

I'm going...

ok well thats clear now... you're going for older women...anyone can get those for next to nothing...not knocking it just saying it as it is

...for who I am attracted to (not just enjoy looking at) and who is attracted to me. I understand (scratch that...I am aware...I don't understand) that some find youthful appearance more important than sexual knowledge, confidence, or intellectual / social / maturity compatibility, but I don't. Does this mean I'd have less success with younger women? Yes, yes it does...because they value things I that I don't have in abundance...physical beauty, "coolness" (as a 24 year old would define it), money. Pretty much like you called it.

So...what is the point of continually gong after someone who is more than likely not interested in me, and whose company I more than likely will not enjoy? And why is that preference so strong that people are prepared to PAY for it? Is the sex provided by a 19 year old escort how actually things you are a pathetic fat old man (and in my case she'd be right on 2 out of 3) REALLY better than the sex provided by a woman who has 20 years of experience doing it, who wants it because she isn't getting it as easily and as often as she used to, and who actually DOES want to have sex with you? I doubt it.

That said...if "anyone can get those for next to nothing", why is there a market for mature SPs? Why is Dani essentially WORSHIPED on this board? And how come the mature Sps (generally) don't offer specials and half hour rates? Hmmm?

I dunno...to each there own...but while some guys reading this post are doing so because they are doing research on who they might call for a LATE night booty call that will cost them, and will definitely be YMMV (because how good is sex likely to be with someone who has had sex 3 times already tonight, and who might be high on something to help her keep going...and to numb her from the pain of the reality of what she is doing), I am posting at 3:00am because I just finished a dinner (my dime - $70) / movie (her dime - $22) date that ended up back at her place, with an AMAZING BBBJ (practice makes perfect...years of practice makes superb) and some pretty hot and uninhibited sex...and then she kicked my ass out because she has to wake up early in the morning to go shopping with some friends (no pressure to stay or doing any "other stuff" here)...but not before clearing the runway to come over to my place late tomorrow (today?) night for a repeat.

Yup...older chicks suck...

who says you have to see them for the hour?

This comment stands on its own, and explains a lot...

 

[C Dick]

How you could quit porn depends on what problem it is causing - too much spending, or not developing other relationships, or what.