Is there such a thing as "love" ?

[angrymime666]

I dont believe in love. I believe in value and respect.

 

[Sonic Temple]

I have been told by a psychiatrist that I have no idea what love is. I can never love and no one can ever love me. The reason is that a young child you learn of love from family and those care givers. As an orphan I never had those experiences. I was told it was like trying to explain what blue is if you were born blind. It is a concept you have to experience in order for it to be real.

I guess that is why I paid providers to say the words. I crave the emotion. I enjoy seeing emotion in my providers over the years. Members of my $100,000 club all were able to share emotion with me. I felt things. We all want what we can not have.

I find it strange how we throw around the term. I love my car, I love ice cream, I love those shoes or that coat. I love her and she loves me. I find it interesting how many peopple get married because of love but then get divorced only years later because they fell out of love. If that is the case were you even in love in the first place.

Then there is this thing called unconditional love. A love between a parent and a child or a grand child.

I have spent years with my therapist discussing this thing called love. I am guilty of never getting close for fear of this thing called love. I pay for love and it last a moment and through my memories it can last forever. But does love last forever? Let me save you the money on a shrink and tell you they do not know either.

I am a big fan of the ramble and who said that 'love' makes sense. Just like religion. Somethings remain elusive like the pot of goal at the end of a rainbow. But maybe it is the rainbow that is the gold. Maybe the searching for love is the love in it self.

i have no idea but if anyone finds the answer let me know. In the mean time I am happy to pay my providers to play my wife, my girlfriends who tell me they love me. Who said you cannot buy love?

This is well written @GGGDickson - excellent just like your thread (https://terb.cc/xenforo/threads/joi...h-the-daily-grind-part-1.741682/#post-7005577). You are officially my therapist and I will continue to dish out $ for this so called love . I grew up in a household with loving parents but I can honestly say that I may have heard my parents say 'I love you' a handful of times, it was never really spoken of, but actions were def. there with hugs, playfulness and other forms of non-verbal interactions. I don't have any complaints nor regrets simply because I knew the love was there, now if it was said more would it of made a difference , I'm sure it would've but it is what it is. The path I see now is a happy path because I love this hobby and where I am currently.

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

This is love






you will know when it’s there when you feel fully connected, in tune in frequency and in presence in the experience with your partner and time stops. Nothing else matters. You become fully in tune with the universe through each other through the experience through presence where the past and the future don’t exist.

You can also achieve this connectedness through many other experiences such as meditation, or intense connection with other people, or experience or your surrounding, or just being present, aware and connected or through psychedelics. It’s always there to experience provided you form the connection.

when you feel love you feel god because god is love and you will know when you connect and experience it. It is not exclusive to a person or to a place or a thought or to a experience and is always available and always present.

 

[james t kirk]

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

Good one jtk. Saw that one with my SO years back and was the moment we knew we were meant for each other.

But then I saw this one and gave me a new found insight to what is true love and this hobby

 

[xmontrealer]

Think about the person you love the most ( even if that person is called MOM ).

What if that person gained 30 pounds and lost their job.

What if that person ended up in a wheelchair and needed help to be fed.

Would you love them more ? Less ?

Is your ... so called ... "love" a BIG FAKE ?

Be honest.

If you've ever had a child you would understand the meaning of at least that kind of love.

 

[xmontrealer]

Do pet really love? Are they capable of such emotion. Or do they just gravitate to a food supply and treats? How do we put a human emotion on to an animal?

I don't know about goldfish, birds, and cats, but I'm pretty sure that many dogs feel love for their owners, although of course food and security is a large part of it. I have seen dogs react to sickness or sadness in a comforting way to their owners that cannot imho just be because it's the person that feeds them.

And I sure as heck loved my dog, and was devastated when we had to put him down because of old age. Cried more tears over his passing than I did for either my mother or father. On the other hand one of my theories is that we love our pets so much because they can't talk, and therefore seem to love us unconditionally...

 

[xmontrealer]

In the end, the only love is self-love.

You love the other person ... but only because YOU want to feel happy.

You pay girls to love you ... but only because YOU want to feel loved ( and stick in the pee pee ).

Maybe the only love you will find is YOU.

That's the answer.

No need to pay me like a therapist - the people you WASTED money on.

Thanks.

I respectfully disagree. I loved a girl who I didn't marry because the timing was wrong. Whenever I would think of her I would feel a pang of remorse as it turned out in retrospect she was the one I should have married. If we were apart for any length of time, as for a while we lived in different cities, when we would re-connect we both would have spontaneous smiles on our faces, and laugh because those smiles wouldn't go away.

I haven't seen her in 45 years. She died a year ago, so there is no chance we will ever see each other again, but I still miss her. It makes me the opposite of happy now when she does cross my mind. But I still do think of her as my love.

 

[Problem_child]

I don't know about goldfish, birds, and cats, but I'm pretty sure that many dogs feel love for their owners, although of course food and security is a large part of it. I have seen dogs react to sickness or sadness in a comforting way to their owners that cannot imho just be because it's the person that feeds them.

And I sure as heck loved my dog, and was devastated when we had to put him down because of old age. Cried more tears for him than I did for either my mother or father. On the other hand one of my theories is that we love our pets so much because they can't talk, and therefore seem to love us unconditionally...

I always loved cats since I was a kid , maybe because they are more mysterious creatures than dogs ... I believe that they are capable of being grateful and loving towards their human owner’s,,, I remember my Grandmother’s cat which was the indoor and outdoor variety used to bring her lizards and birds and even toys and leave them on her bed ...now what was the exact meaning of those gifts nobody really knows but she had many stories like that that were funny and cute ... in the end are pets capable of showing true love to their owners ? Yes I do believe so .... nature is PURE

 

[shakenbake]

Do pet really love? Are they capable of such emotion. Or do they just gravitate to a food supply and treats? How do we put a human emotion on to an animal?

Yes, you would know their language and how they show their love. I see this in my pets. There are also many scientific studies that show altruistic behaviour in the animal kingdom that prove it.

 

[shakenbake]

I don't know about goldfish, birds, and cats, but I'm pretty sure that many dogs feel love for their owners, although of course food and security is a large part of it. I have seen dogs react to sickness or sadness in a comforting way to their owners that cannot imho just be because it's the person that feeds them.

And I sure as heck loved my dog, and was devastated when we had to put him down because of old age. Cried more tears over his passing than I did for either my mother or father. On the other hand one of my theories is that we love our pets so much because they can't talk, and therefore seem to love us unconditionally...

Cats, too, show love, and pet rats, as well.

 

[Effie_White]

Can’t help but post this. I agree with much of this -

 

[Renus]

If you've ever had a child you would understand the meaning of at least that kind of love.

I didn't think of this.

As I said before "all love is self-love".

Maybe having a kid means the kid is FORCED to love you by being completely dependent, hence YOU are loved, as in the FOCUS is YOU.

Same like pets.

I'm not saying love doesn't exist. I'm saying the reason for it is SELFISH and therefore shallow under the surface. It's my opinion - however it's the right opinion - because I know everything.

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

I didn't think of this.

As I said before "all love is self-love".

Maybe having a kid means the kid is FORCED to love you by being completely dependent, hence YOU are loved, as in the FOCUS is YOU.

Same like pets.

I'm not saying love doesn't exist. I'm saying the reason for it is SELFISH and therefore shallow under the surface. It's my opinion - however it's the right opinion - because I know everything.

The only way I would agree that love is self love is if you believe in non duality or that we are all one meaning if we love others we actually love our absolute self as the collective or the absolute consciousness.

speaking in terms of practical terms love is when you put other needs ahead of your own. Such as are you willing to give your life to protect your kid or the woman you love or if you love people you are always trying to give more then you take from them or the earth or for consciousness or putting other needs ahead of your own etc and why because you love them, or you love humanity or you just love protecting the light of consciousness.

Although I agree that most love is selfish, but real love is not such as you put the needs of the ones you love ahead of your own and you live it. But people are not raised like that. Examples people are raised to treat others how you want to be treated. This is selfish. Why not just treat people how you want to without seeking a reward or a reaction or how you want them to treat you and remove the conditional aspect. Or another one that comes to mind is be good so you can go to heaven. What is good anyways which is subjective. Also this heaven sounds conditional.

But yeah unless it is non duality true love is not selfish, but I acknowledge rarely happens practically speaking because this is how society indoctrinated people. The more selfish they condition them the further they are from reaching and feeling the absolute love and coming closer to awakening.

 

[xmontrealer]

I didn't think of this.

As I said before "all love is self-love".

Maybe having a kid means the kid is FORCED to love you by being completely dependent, hence YOU are loved, as in the FOCUS is YOU.

Same like pets.

I'm not saying love doesn't exist. I'm saying the reason for it is SELFISH and therefore shallow under the surface. It's my opinion - however it's the right opinion - because I know everything.

I take it you have no children...

 

[Jasmina]

Do you love because it makes you feel good, or do you feel good because you feel loved? Does it matter? In any case, I think the term selfish needs to stop being viewed with such negativity anyway. We should all be selfish, at the end of the day, we are who we spend the most time with, we SHOULD strive for happiness, and learn to be our own best company.

I didn't think of this.

As I said before "all love is self-love".

Maybe having a kid means the kid is FORCED to love you by being completely dependent, hence YOU are loved, as in the FOCUS is YOU.

Same like pets.

I'm not saying love doesn't exist. I'm saying the reason for it is SELFISH and therefore shallow under the surface. It's my opinion - however it's the right opinion - because I know everything.

 

[RichardG2020]

I didn't think of this.

As I said before "all love is self-love".

Maybe having a kid means the kid is FORCED to love you by being completely dependent, hence YOU are loved, as in the FOCUS is YOU.

Same like pets.

I'm not saying love doesn't exist. I'm saying the reason for it is SELFISH and therefore shallow under the surface. It's my opinion - however it's the right opinion - because I know everything.

I don’t think XMON was referring to the child loving the parent.

I think he meant that when you bring a child into this world, you feel a pure and boundless love for them.

You can only truly know the depth and authenticity of that kind of love when you have a child of your own.

 

[xmontrealer]

I don’t think XMON was referring to the child loving the parent.

I think he meant that when you bring a child into this world, you feel a pure and boundless love for them.

You can only truly know the depth and authenticity of that kind of love when you have a child of your own.

Exactly.

 

[Renus]

I think he meant that when you bring a child into this world, you feel a pure and boundless love for them.

The same BRAT who will lock you in an abusive nursing home to be forgotten, then wish death on you for that magical word "inheritance".

 

[IM469]

What if that person gained 30 pounds and lost their job.

What if that person ended up in a wheelchair and needed help to be fed.

Would you love them more ? Less ?

Be honest.

So what are the chances you would give them a second look if they had those wonderful attributes when you first met them ?
There is a thick layer of BS surrounding the true love romantic view vs real life. I find girls are just as judgmental.
Tell me where you expect to find true love if you met these two lovely ladies ...

It's the same for guys or women. If you are fat, ugly and/or old - you have zero chance of anyone looking past that when you meet them. If your partner gives up looking her best for you (eg dress/fat,etc) - are you telling me you don't start to crave the person you originally met ? I always wonder when I hear - it was love at first sight .. 'gazed into his/her eyes' ..... whatever.

If people believed in true love wouldn't be judging other partners. If I may conduct a quiz .. what comes to your mind when you see these couples below:

"ah, love is wonderful" or "wtf is going on there ? It is hard to figure a 'wtf' answer really believes in love.

For me love only happens after a couple have lived together and tackled some of the adversities of live as a team.