LMAO!!!! You guys crack me up. Seriously.
First - this is a private board. It is based on a membership and you do not have a "right" to be here. It is privately owned and operated, and PS there are sections of the site that some have access to and some don't. By way of invitation, paid membership, etc. You all have access to the open parts but doesn't mean you have access to the entire board. Also, when you join, your membership is approved by the admin before you can use any function. It is not just a confirm your email type sign up. Each and every account is sent to the admins for approval. They do indeed say yes or no to the membership. Just because it is usually a yes, doesn't negate that all memberships are sent for approval. This is, therefore, a private forum.
Second - just because it is a private board, doesn't negate a person's right to share their opinion. However, sharing an opinion is not "freedom of speech" and even that has limits. Learn what and where "freedom of speech" came from. You can't go around making hate speech in a public or private place. Look at all the privately owned White supremacist website as an example. You guys are really getting your Sunday panties bunched for no reason.
Third - No one said BP can't share his opinion. However, if you all agree that he can share his opinion, then I and others can equally share my/their opinions as well.
Fourth - Lux didn't have an issue with his review. She just didn't agree that his issue was the pics like he was going on and on about. She felt the true issue was he is now been priced out of her market. Which again is completely acceptable for both sides to have said opinion. However, it does lead to motivations behind the review and she wanted to address that. She did nothing wrong by questioning that aspect.
Finding out the motivation behind reviews sometimes is needed and warranted. A classic example is a 1Star review. It is a targeted attacked on a business, not for business reasons, but done as an attack on a business. For some light reading - http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/manitoba-hells-angels-business-reviews-1.4608271
I am not saying that is what BP was doing, but just pointing out that we, as business people, need to know the why and where some of our feedback is coming from. That is what she was doing. The mention of BP past behaviours with Bliss and the other SP was because of the support she feels the men here have given to a man she feels is a boundary pusher. If you read what she said, you will see she decided to make changes for herself based on some of the opinions and supports shown here. She never tried to change anyone here, she decided to make the changes she needs for herself. Nothing wrong there. Just like if BP decided to change up his MO regarding anal digits, based on the feedback from others here. Ain't nothing wrong there either.
Fifth - BP admitted finally that it is indeed the rates so we all default to the age old saying of "A lady can charge what she wants, clients can pay what they want". Again, don't see the war here. Once he admitted the real issue, all was well. No biggie
Sixth - since we have already said that members here are allowed to voice their opinions, Luxe and I share an opinion about BP's way of addressing services he likes.
He stated in two reviews that he wrote, he got the list of do's and don't verbally at the beginning of each session. Then in the middle of the session, he physically attempted a service that was already verbally told to be off limits. He was told no again and he then he did indeed stop.
Silly me, but some ladies have an issue with that. Why? Well, it is like this. I am not as much of a stickler on this, but he could have verbally asked again instead of physically trying for it. In my opinion, asking again is not an issue. In other opinions, even asking a second time is a no-no. Again though, opinions only.
My opinion is/was he has no right to physically try to finger the ass when he was told the ass is off limits. It is the physical attempt after being told no once already that I take issue with. Not everyone shares my opinion or some do because they use the "I don't condone the behaviour" however they always through the "but" in there, because in their opinion, I should not be bringing it up in the review. I clearly disagree with said opinion.
There is no war here though. And the difference of opinion was actually handled quite well, I thought anyway. I felt good about how BP and I ended our communications with each other. I really did wish him well and I truly felt that he was doing the same.
TheGuitarMan - no one is trying to "take control of this site". That is laughable. When I wrote what I did in the Bliss review, I had not been in the Ottawa section much at all. I started on Lyla because I was going to Ottawa for a podcast interview at the Uni. It was a person who is a member of both boards that brought it to my attention. Why? I don't know. Maybe because I don't worry about the financially fallback that some ladies get when voicing their opinion? Maybe because I have a thicker skin. Maybe because I was female and therefore it should have been a woman to say something. Maybe because I am an outsider in the Ottawa area. I don't know the motivations as to why I was asked. I was, I read, I commented, done deal.
Since then, however, I have found many industry related discussions in Ottawa and so I stuck around. BP and I have had a difference of opinion on a couple of threads since. I would say he once purposely tried to spread some false claims against me in one discussion. I would assume it was because we are not besties, but for the most part, we have actually been quite civil to each other considering. I only brought up BPs actions in his review of Bliss, and this one because Luxe brought it up and he denied it again.
I don't read every thread. Are you fucked? I have some time because I own my own business outside of this and can manage my time well, but I ain't got that much time nor the desire. I have read a couple of BPs reviews since the Bliss one and am happy to see there has not been a repeat of said behaviour. Then again he was the one writing what he did himself so maybe he is just omitting it. Personally, having posted with BP a few times now, I don't think he realized at the time why what he was doing would be considered wrong. I am hoping that by bringing it up, he learned something, others learned something and now he verbally asks first. Which if that is the case, that is AWESOME! I have no problem with that outcome if that is the case. I would bring it up again in heartbeat. Growth is great, learning is great and if that helped, then YAY!
However, just like everyone here, you can have whatever opinion you want on the matter. I can completely disagree. You may care less about my opinion, and I can't really say that yours means all that much to me either. Again, nothing wrong with that.
My advice to everyone, it is a nice sunny day. At least here in Durham. Get out and enjoy your weekend instead of debating whether TERB is a private forum or not. The review part of this thread is long done anyway.
Laters
PS - BP, please don't take what I wrote as an attack. I am just stating my side of what happened in the past. I am hoping that it can all be laid to rest now. I just want you to know personally, that I don't intend to create some "witch hunt" for you every time you post. Just so we are clear. I hope by now you know, I really do shoot from the hip, I have no reason to lie or hide anything. So my true intention is to move past all of this with you. I don't think you should follow TheGuitarMan's advice. There are plenty here to do appreciate your reviews and I will be the first one to say that no one should feel that they have to stop reviewing because some may have an objection or two. My objections included. So keep doing you.
First - this is a private board. It is based on a membership and you do not have a "right" to be here. It is privately owned and operated, and PS there are sections of the site that some have access to and some don't. By way of invitation, paid membership, etc. You all have access to the open parts but doesn't mean you have access to the entire board. Also, when you join, your membership is approved by the admin before you can use any function. It is not just a confirm your email type sign up. Each and every account is sent to the admins for approval. They do indeed say yes or no to the membership. Just because it is usually a yes, doesn't negate that all memberships are sent for approval. This is, therefore, a private forum.
Second - just because it is a private board, doesn't negate a person's right to share their opinion. However, sharing an opinion is not "freedom of speech" and even that has limits. Learn what and where "freedom of speech" came from. You can't go around making hate speech in a public or private place. Look at all the privately owned White supremacist website as an example. You guys are really getting your Sunday panties bunched for no reason.
Third - No one said BP can't share his opinion. However, if you all agree that he can share his opinion, then I and others can equally share my/their opinions as well.
Fourth - Lux didn't have an issue with his review. She just didn't agree that his issue was the pics like he was going on and on about. She felt the true issue was he is now been priced out of her market. Which again is completely acceptable for both sides to have said opinion. However, it does lead to motivations behind the review and she wanted to address that. She did nothing wrong by questioning that aspect.
Finding out the motivation behind reviews sometimes is needed and warranted. A classic example is a 1Star review. It is a targeted attacked on a business, not for business reasons, but done as an attack on a business. For some light reading - http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/manitoba-hells-angels-business-reviews-1.4608271
I am not saying that is what BP was doing, but just pointing out that we, as business people, need to know the why and where some of our feedback is coming from. That is what she was doing. The mention of BP past behaviours with Bliss and the other SP was because of the support she feels the men here have given to a man she feels is a boundary pusher. If you read what she said, you will see she decided to make changes for herself based on some of the opinions and supports shown here. She never tried to change anyone here, she decided to make the changes she needs for herself. Nothing wrong there. Just like if BP decided to change up his MO regarding anal digits, based on the feedback from others here. Ain't nothing wrong there either.
Fifth - BP admitted finally that it is indeed the rates so we all default to the age old saying of "A lady can charge what she wants, clients can pay what they want". Again, don't see the war here. Once he admitted the real issue, all was well. No biggie
Sixth - since we have already said that members here are allowed to voice their opinions, Luxe and I share an opinion about BP's way of addressing services he likes.
He stated in two reviews that he wrote, he got the list of do's and don't verbally at the beginning of each session. Then in the middle of the session, he physically attempted a service that was already verbally told to be off limits. He was told no again and he then he did indeed stop.
Silly me, but some ladies have an issue with that. Why? Well, it is like this. I am not as much of a stickler on this, but he could have verbally asked again instead of physically trying for it. In my opinion, asking again is not an issue. In other opinions, even asking a second time is a no-no. Again though, opinions only.
My opinion is/was he has no right to physically try to finger the ass when he was told the ass is off limits. It is the physical attempt after being told no once already that I take issue with. Not everyone shares my opinion or some do because they use the "I don't condone the behaviour" however they always through the "but" in there, because in their opinion, I should not be bringing it up in the review. I clearly disagree with said opinion.
There is no war here though. And the difference of opinion was actually handled quite well, I thought anyway. I felt good about how BP and I ended our communications with each other. I really did wish him well and I truly felt that he was doing the same.
TheGuitarMan - no one is trying to "take control of this site". That is laughable. When I wrote what I did in the Bliss review, I had not been in the Ottawa section much at all. I started on Lyla because I was going to Ottawa for a podcast interview at the Uni. It was a person who is a member of both boards that brought it to my attention. Why? I don't know. Maybe because I don't worry about the financially fallback that some ladies get when voicing their opinion? Maybe because I have a thicker skin. Maybe because I was female and therefore it should have been a woman to say something. Maybe because I am an outsider in the Ottawa area. I don't know the motivations as to why I was asked. I was, I read, I commented, done deal.
Since then, however, I have found many industry related discussions in Ottawa and so I stuck around. BP and I have had a difference of opinion on a couple of threads since. I would say he once purposely tried to spread some false claims against me in one discussion. I would assume it was because we are not besties, but for the most part, we have actually been quite civil to each other considering. I only brought up BPs actions in his review of Bliss, and this one because Luxe brought it up and he denied it again.
I don't read every thread. Are you fucked? I have some time because I own my own business outside of this and can manage my time well, but I ain't got that much time nor the desire. I have read a couple of BPs reviews since the Bliss one and am happy to see there has not been a repeat of said behaviour. Then again he was the one writing what he did himself so maybe he is just omitting it. Personally, having posted with BP a few times now, I don't think he realized at the time why what he was doing would be considered wrong. I am hoping that by bringing it up, he learned something, others learned something and now he verbally asks first. Which if that is the case, that is AWESOME! I have no problem with that outcome if that is the case. I would bring it up again in heartbeat. Growth is great, learning is great and if that helped, then YAY!
However, just like everyone here, you can have whatever opinion you want on the matter. I can completely disagree. You may care less about my opinion, and I can't really say that yours means all that much to me either. Again, nothing wrong with that.
My advice to everyone, it is a nice sunny day. At least here in Durham. Get out and enjoy your weekend instead of debating whether TERB is a private forum or not. The review part of this thread is long done anyway.
Laters
PS - BP, please don't take what I wrote as an attack. I am just stating my side of what happened in the past. I am hoping that it can all be laid to rest now. I just want you to know personally, that I don't intend to create some "witch hunt" for you every time you post. Just so we are clear. I hope by now you know, I really do shoot from the hip, I have no reason to lie or hide anything. So my true intention is to move past all of this with you. I don't think you should follow TheGuitarMan's advice. There are plenty here to do appreciate your reviews and I will be the first one to say that no one should feel that they have to stop reviewing because some may have an objection or two. My objections included. So keep doing you.
