The question is...Why is this surprising news to some men????
fernie said:
..... No wonder many victims don't want to testify.
Not long ago it was assumed that non-virgins couldn't say no. Victims on the stand weren't believed if they were on the pill, if they had a STD in the past, if they had an abortion, or if they had ever had an orgasm. Yep. Even better, at one time husbands couldn't be charged with rape because marriage gave him unlimited sexual access.
The times are always a changing. Deal with it.
Fernie
Excellent points fernie.
Actually MOST rape victims do not report/file charges. Studies say that even today, more than half do not. Out of all the females that I have personally known who were raped (date rape, stranger rape, gang rape, or raped as children by family/friends) less than 20% ever reported these rapes to the police, because of the fear of being racked over the coals in court or blamed/accused of lying by friends and even family, or because of the shame, guilt, and self blame that many victims have.
And who ever thinks the courts give better treatment to females/and rape vicitms is out of their minds. One friend I know, who was raped by her father as a child until she was 16, and when she became an adult, filed charges against her father when she discovered he was molesting his neighbours 8 year old daughter. There was too much evidence against him with her testimony and the testimony of the 8 year old girl, so he eventually pleaded guilty. Guess how much jail time he recieved.....2 Years and TWO days. WTF? She said that the slap on the wrist in terms of sentencing/punishment he was given, was almost like being raped again, but by the courts. She said she had huge regrets about filing charges.
She said for the sake of the 8 year old girl she was happy she went through the emotionally painful court process and testimony but ......said that if she had to do it all over again she would NOT because the ENTIRE PROCESS and court proceedings were too emotionally draining for her (she was such an emotional mess, understandibly, during this time that she had lost some friends and her fiance), especially having to rehash and discuss, and be cross examined, especially in a cold court room and 'infront of complete and utter stangers' (cops, lawyers, doctors, court reporter, court secuirty guards, etc.) the events of her private and traumatic experience of being raped, even though it occured almost 20years prior.
***Of course, No, means NO at any point in the ACT. If a woman is making out or having oral sex with a man and she does not want to have vaginal or anal sex and he forces those sexual acts on her THAT IS RAPE. Women are allowed to HAVE CHOICE with what they do or dont do with their OWN BODIES (and in this democratic society that includes the right to choose or not to choose birth control, childbirth or abortion, and with whom to have sex with and for whatever damn reason she chooses, and to agree with or not to engage in specific sexual acts) , even in marriage. Of course womens' bodies are not the PROPERTY of men, to do with what they please!!!!! Women are not animals or inatimate objects. Even if some men choose to objectify us.
If I even as a prostitute, if I tell a client who has paid to have sex with me, that I dont do anal or oral without a condom and he forces those acts on me, that is rape in my eyes. Even paying a woman for her sexual sevices does not ENTITLE a man to do any and every sexual act, under the sun, to her!
And I think it is so insulting to RESPECTABLE and DECENT men, to imply that they dont have enough "self control" to stop, in the middle of sexual activity with a woman. Men are not animals or lower life forms. They are human beings with free will and choice.
Thank goodness we live in a democratic society, and women are viewed as humans and are supposed to have equal rights to men.
In some countries, even today (India, middle eastern countries, etc.), in the year 2003 still have rules/laws that blame the rape victim.... some ladies are disowned by family and community, are jailed or even killed.
I read a survey that said most women are MORE afraid of rape than even death. And when I was involved in a home invasion a few years ago, when visiting a girlfriend and her mother in another country, and masked men with knives and metal bars entered the home......do you know the very first thought that came into my mind??????? "OMG I am(we are) going to be RAPED", interesting that my first fear was not robbery or death, even though that came next. (luckily we were able to escape without major injury or being raped). Rape, in all its forms, is such an emotionally damaging and traumatic negative life experience for women or men.
