Here's to you my little head
Why are you so hard when I get out of bed?
I tried so hard to tire you out
But you just kept coming back around
I like you best when you are stiff
Unless I played hockey and caught a whiff
I protect you always inside my jock
It's in your best interest my beautiful cock
I know how much you like to be sucked
But if a puck hits you hard, you'll be fucked
What would I do if you got bruised?
I know for sure I won't be amused
As I am typing you are in my fist
Now I'm starting to get a sore wrist
Without you I think I would die
"Oh shit" I just shot in my eye
They say it's not the size that counts
But what if you are just a quarter ounce
I once saw this girl who was steaming
When she saw you she ran screaming
Even if I lose everything I'll have you
You've stuck with me through and through
I have always treated you gentle and kind
Even though you're sometimes hard to find
When you get old and stop working
You know I will keep on jerking
Some habits are just too hard to break
My beautiful One Eyed Trouser Snake
Until that day comes my purple friend
Keep giving me pleasure till the end
Even if you shrivel to the size of a Hobbit
I still won't give you a John Wayne Bobbitt
Why are you so hard when I get out of bed?
I tried so hard to tire you out
But you just kept coming back around
I like you best when you are stiff
Unless I played hockey and caught a whiff
I protect you always inside my jock
It's in your best interest my beautiful cock
I know how much you like to be sucked
But if a puck hits you hard, you'll be fucked
What would I do if you got bruised?
I know for sure I won't be amused
As I am typing you are in my fist
Now I'm starting to get a sore wrist
Without you I think I would die
"Oh shit" I just shot in my eye
They say it's not the size that counts
But what if you are just a quarter ounce
I once saw this girl who was steaming
When she saw you she ran screaming
Even if I lose everything I'll have you
You've stuck with me through and through
I have always treated you gentle and kind
Even though you're sometimes hard to find
When you get old and stop working
You know I will keep on jerking
Some habits are just too hard to break
My beautiful One Eyed Trouser Snake
Until that day comes my purple friend
Keep giving me pleasure till the end
Even if you shrivel to the size of a Hobbit
I still won't give you a John Wayne Bobbitt
