forget sexfinder or sexsearch or any of those sites.
My buddy works at lavalife, I used to work there (editing profiles).
A lot of those sites are scams, lavalife is legit, but a lot of fake profiles and what not. I wouldn't buy a membership.
The only decent thing you might wanna try is the phone lines.
my buddies signed up to sexsearch.com, so did i, i got slammed with all kinds of messages from girls/women, etc...but in order to reply back, i have to buy a membership for $50, i never have/did.
Now all is quiet, no messages or anything.
They fish for people to buy memberships.
After awhile, if you don't, they give up on you, realizing you're not taking the bait.
Lavalife sucks, to.
Try the free ones, plentyoffish is pretty good.