Post about how awesome you are

[Prim0]

I think we all know who SilentLeviathan is now...

 

[LadyTY2Uall]

I came home this afternoon after picking up my copy of Quake 4 and I smelled something funny from my neighbour's house. I went over there and the door was unlocked so I went right in. Sure enough there was my neighbour and two of his friends smoking to their hearts content. I told them they had two options, one - they could put the joints out or two - I would put the joints out for them. My neighbour had run-ins with me before so he knew I meant business so he threw his joint down and told me to leave. I said you made a wise choice but I'm still calling the cops and then I turned to leave. My neighbour then got up off the couch got behind me and said a few cuss words and told me to mind my business. Well that did it. I turned around, took off my shades, looked him straight in the eye and said "Let's get high". I then front kicked him a good 8 feet in the air. Then his other friend came at me with the bong, I grabbed his arm, snapped it and then hit him in the stomach with the bong. His other friend ran into the kitchen so I went after him. He was in the corner crying so I said "This is your brain" and then I grabbed a frying pan and said "This is your brain on drugs" and then I hit him in the head as hard as I could with the frying pan. After that I called the cops and they came over and arrested my neighbor and his friends. As I was leaving the sarge shouted out to me thanks. I turned around, took off my shades, looked him straight in the eye and said "Well you know sarge, perhaps if we build a freaking Tim Horton's on this street it would give you guys a excuse to ride up here once or twice a week and keep the crime down". I then threw my shades on the ground to let him know I meant business. I feel pretty good about what I did for my neighbourhood today.

LMAO Sounds like an old Charles Bronson movie or maybe Clint Eastwood Good story. lol

 

[LadyTY2Uall]

My friend and I went to fill up my Corvette this evening and there were these two punks there sitting on the sidewalk of the gas station with their radio blasting. I was trying to think as I pumped gas but their radio made that hard to do. I was not pleased. So I went in and paid for the gas and then I went up to the two punks outside. I said excuse me but I think you need to turn your radio down. They told me to chill, they were just hanging out and having a few smokes. I then looked them in the eye and said "I'm afraid this is the no smoking section boys." and then I kicked their radio up against the side of the gas station. Then one of them stood up and took a swing at me, I ducked it and then gave him a round kick to the stomach. Then the other one took what was left of the radio and threw it at me, I blocked it with my left hand which caused it to go sailing back into him and knock him out. Then a middle aged man who looked to be in his 50's came up and asked what was going on. I wasn't sure if he was with me or against me so I assumed he was against me. I gave him a swift front kick to the groin and hip tossed him on top of the other guys there. I then walked back to my car where my friend just stood there in awe, I asked him why he didn't help me and he said it looked like I had things under control. I slapped him and pushed him to the ground and told him to walk home. I then got in my Corvette turned up the radio to full blast and much to my suprise "Welcome to the Jungle" was playing. I sped off with that song playing full blast. I felt pretty good about standing up for my rights and I looked good doing it.

Awesome song........good story too. you are getting pretty good with those hip tosses

 

[LadyTY2Uall]

I was walking back to my Dodge Charger after visiting my favorite SP. Scored a natural hat trick through her five hole and assisted on a pair of hers. Anyways, as I'm walking back to my kick ass panty soaker mobile, I'm passing this infamous strip club where these to juice monkeys are ganging up on this smaller guy. Now it's obvious that this guy has no idea how to kick ass and is about two minutes away from a really bad "that's gonna hurt in the morning" moment.

So as I'm watching this happen, the one WWE dropout looks over at me and starts mouthing off, telling me to mind my business. I laughed in his face.

"Just so happens I'm in the ass kicking business." I chuckled as I reached into my pocket and tossed my business card in his face.

As he bent down to pick it up, I kicked him right in his mouth. As he attempted to get up from my sweet chin music, I nailed him with a lethal uppercut that would send Mike Tyson Back to the Future. He stumbled around like a drunken toddler shit his own pants and landed on his ass.

"Do yourself a favor champ and stay down." I said as I tossed some spare change in his lap.

Just then his boyfriend rips his shirt off and starts flexing at me as he screams in my face.

"Simmer down there Bruce Banner... I still got plenty of gas in the tank... Let's ride." I took off my jacket and tossed it to the dude I was helping.

As the Hulkster came charging towards me I closed my eyes and got into the crane position that Ralph Macchio perfected in the Karate Kid Trilogy.

As he came closer... closer... closer... KI-YAH. I nailed him with a furious kick to the head. As he stumbled backwards I began beating him in the head with numerous amazingly timed and choreographed punches. And then he fell face first into his buddies soiled whitie tighties.

I then grabbed my jacket back from the poor sap whose life I had just saved.

"Thanks buddy. That was awesome" he said
"You wanna see something awesome?"
I spun around, dropped into a Jean Claude Van Damme-like splits and nailed him in his genitals.

"That's what you get for just standing around and watching bitch!!!"

I then grabbed my wicked awesome shit kickin' mobile and sped off down Yonge Street singing Eye of the Tiger all the way.

Stay in School Kids

OMG I am laughing so hard i scared the bird......two minutes away from a really bad "that's gonna hurt in the morning" moment.
ROFLMFAO

 

[LadyTY2Uall]

I knew it,,,,Clint Eastwood. I am AWESOME

I was in town with one of my girlfriends today, and I decided to play one of those scratch off games again. I was very suprised when I won 1 million dollars on the spot, this was like the second time I won the lottery. I was about to claim my prize but then I thought to myself I'm already rich why not have some fun with this one? I told my girlfriend I was tired of her already so I left her at the gas station and went to find me some poor suckers. What better place than Wal Mart? I went up and down the asles until I found a poorly dressed man and wife along with their kid. I went up to the guy and showed the guy the ticket, and told him since I didn't need the money I was going to give it to him and his family, when he started to tear up I tore up the ticket and threw the pieces on the ground. I then started to walk away but this spinless punk then took a swing at me when my back was turned. That did it. I turned around, took off my shades, looked him straight in the eye and said "Feeling lucky?". I then gave him a swift kick in the ribs and threw him into the pet section, I then caught a Wal Mart guy coming at me so I took a knife out of my jacket and threw it toward a chain holding up a sign, I then looked at the guy and said "Watch out for falling prices" and then the sign fell on him and knocked him out. I left the store but not before I complained to the manager about the kind of people they let in there.

I have been grinning all morning, thanks for being so awesome.

 

[Prim0]

 

[SilentLeviathan]

Wow, thread necromancy.

 

[R A Z O R]

 

[WhaWhaWha]

 

[Cycleguy007]

 

[calloway]

 

[WhaWhaWha]

still awesome.

 

[HG Hunter]

I love it. A spelling mistake in a poster about being awesome.

Your awesome?
Maybe You're awesome would be better.

 

[R A Z O R]

I love it. A spelling mistake in a poster about being awesome.

Your awesome?
Maybe You're awesome would be better.

 

[WhaWhaWha]

Yeah, I remember that episode of Good Times, when JJ converted, and Florida got a condominium in Florida.

 

[StClairAvenue]

To the OP

you're a douche. I don't smoke weed but that doesn't mean I'd tell others not to. And I certainly would attempt to make myself out to be a hero for it. I'm sure you already got told in this thread, but what's one more post?

Loser!