My story for what it's worth. I married the first girl who latched on to me ( as I did to her) and perhaps the marriage wasn't loveless but it was very nearly sexless. During all the 30 or so years I was faithful unless you call having a table dance now and then cheating. When she bailed and I was trying to adjust to life on my own a friend who knew I was spending a few bucks in strip clubs suggested I try a massage parlor as a better value. Almost a decade after the ex walked out I've had a SO for seven years and when the honeymoon faze of our relationship petered out I went back to random massage parlors until I found a girl I really like and now I only see her.
My SO loves me more than the ex ever did but she is menopausal, no longer actively chasing me (having caught me) so she makes no effort to be a seductress and sex is once a month if that.
For my part I begged my ex for a sex life for so many years I am no longer willing to beg and yet because I know in her heart my "wife" sincerely loves me I have no interest in being a bully and demanding. So I have a great life except that I'm dissatisfied with the lack of sex. I haven't yet seen an escort, somehow I see that as invisible line that I have yet to cross.
To comment on the original question about intimacy with your SO, I wonder how many of us Could be much more intimate were it not for the distractions of the day, the bills to be worried about or the chores that need to be done etc? An hour with a beautiful attentive female with no distractions is very appealing to me. I guess that's why to this point I'm content with going for a massage. The intimacy is what I crave and I also know that there is no way a man of my age is going to be able to get close and affectionate with a woman half my age. Even if it is a an act, the women I've met in my limited hobbying make me feel desirable and that is something my SO doesn't very often do.
