Reference ediquette for escorts

[Chloë.]

Two things. Then I'll retreat and you can beat me up to your heart's content in my absence:

1. Threads on this board often segue into related topics. It's commonplace, and among the things that makes the board interesting, albeit sometimes frustrating for those like yourself who are keen to stay on topic and deliver a specific message. On this occasion you are choosing to be indignant about the segue because the message is contrary to your business practice.

2. Some providers (Chloe?) ask for your name, occupation, phone number and email address. Then they want references. As I see it, that's getting a little intrusive. (Frank might say just give false name, false occupation, hobby email address, burner phone number, and maybe that's the ticket. But then what protection/advantage does this information afford the provider?) If an escort is working in the financial district, for example, it's quite possible we will have acquaintances in common. At bit too much info, a bit too cozy and my life could be vey negatively affected.

As you say, we each have alternatives. So as I say, everyone happy.

You do realize that if you have a specific hobby number or email and have seen multiple women with said burner/email, it's easy to find out who you are through our correspondence records? There's your answer for "said" protection and the advantage of why references should and do coincide with information. If it doesn't match, then I can't accept it. Simple. Like Valeria said, remember to be consistent with what information you give to whom. It doesn't matter if it was real or fake, it just needs to be accurate so we know who you are. If you contact us using different and new information for an existing reference, then it's pointless.

You're making this way too complicated. We don't care about acquaintances and aren't looking to see who our mutual friends are on Facebook. Why are they even in the equation? We also have private lives we wish to protect, it's not only about you. Don't make this any more difficult than it has to be. It's very simple.

It's also a screening method because if your information shows up on any blacklist for whatever reason (no show, shorted pay, abusive/dangerous; there are many cases of these types in Toronto by the way) or the provider had a terrible time, then there's an issue. There's answer #2 for protection/advantage. When you aren't subject to and don't initiate these types of dangers, you live in a bubble and can't begin to fathom the point of our methods. Keep your bubble and lack of references if need be, but don't you yourself be indignant as well about things you aren't privy to.

 

[Frankunderwood]

I've asked many SP's for references, and my life hasn't been negatively affected. You're making the process much more complicated than it needs to be.

 

[LisbethNova]

Plus one. It's not a question of being defensive, Lisbeth. Simply common sense.

If a client says 'No' to a reference I will use other means. I just find it weird because I am someone who will give great references to make a clients life easier when they book an escort.

i could give a rats ass who else a client of mine sees... in fact I will likely speak very fondly of them to the client. However knowing that they have seen some one before and that SP can tell me they won't hurt, murder or kidnap me does really ease my mind and make our meeting far more enjoyable knowing I am safe. Also, I guess I am the kind of provider who doesn't believe in possessing or controlling my clients in any way. That's what relationships in the vanilla general population are for, and I do not want that kind of attitude in my business.

 

[Ms.FemmeFatale]

Coming from a different side, I see both points for Hobbyist and SP.

Here is thing that people forget, this industry is so vast, that it will make room for everyone and their needs. What I don't get is why that is okay for hobbyist but not escorts. There are tons of different women available, in different price ranges, shapes, ages, sizes, ethnicities, etc. and that is okay. Leaves every hobbyist with the variety they need to find what they are looking for.

However, it appears that women are only in this for one thing, and only available to provide one thing. Money and sex. Nothing more, nothing less and that is where people fail to realize that is simply not the case. Are those a components? Of course, but it is not the only reasons. Without getting into all the possibilities, I will say that because there is a little more then just money and sex involved for the lady, this branches into where, how and with whom she conducts her business. This also means that for some ladies, references are required and for nothing more then to ensure that her needs are met. Yes - I know, I said a bad thing. I mentioned HER needs. WTF Femme???? An Escort having needs of her own - I must be out of my mind right???

This is where the difference between hobbyist and human comes into play. Yes, believe it or not - an SP, like every other human being, has needs. AND get this..... some SP's are not available to everyone with wallet. Just because you have the green doesn't mean you must be seen. This is a unique business of service that will never be like any other. Imagine that????

Now I hope that Charlotte will not mind be using her and her signature as an example, but she has a restriction on men over 30, no blocked or phone apps allowed. She provides incalls from a private condo. Some men will see that has being to restrictive and can/have said negative things about those restrictions. However, I read that it as, she is 27 so doesn't want to be with someone possibly her own age for reasons of compatibility, and privacy as she may run into her friends. She wants the security of knowing who is actually calling her and from a regular number. She probably doesn't want some anonymous guy named Bob with 416-555-1234 anonymous phone app coming to her private condo. A private condo that she keeps for herself, or others that work with her {I have no idea} but this makes sense since there is a risk to the provider with providing a incall of a permanent location as opposed to a hotel room. There is a safety concern as well, but let's be real, quite a few hobbyist only care about their own personal safety. However, this shows that while some may see Charlotte has restrictive, she is indeed doing you both a favour with her screening.

The screening also does more then simply ensure the client is safe. Men who wish to hide, usually have reason. Granted most of the time it is because they are hiding from a wife, but sometimes it is because they mean to do harm. This business of "this is suppose to be an anonymous business" is quite frankly bullshit. A discreet business yes but completely anonymous - Nope! Sorry, that was not in the hooker101 handbook, so I don't think it was in the John101 either.

Other reason for screening, some men want a hardcore PSE pounding for an hour and while an SP provides greek, doesn't mean she likes a hard GREEk pounding for a hour. A hobbyist looking for "bang for his buck" is not likely to take the time to following a screen process, so this weeds this gentlemen out for her. Just another example. I have tons.

Myself personally, I think first name, phone number that is not blocked or app phone number, and a reference from another provider is not too much to ask and certainly does not pave the way of blackmail or any other nonsense that gets thrown out whenever these threads come up. I just wish some men who do not like the reference thing, would back off of calling out negatively the women who do it. You don't know the reasons why, no escort here that I know of has blackmailed a client with her screened info and she is not negatively saying anything against you so why cant you leave her to her way and you to yours?????

 

[NorthernBear]

You should frequent unreviewed ladies. Since you're against references you should be equally comfortable with no reviews.

If you have read any of my reviews you will notice that I often TOFTT and then post a review about her.
You might also have seen threads where I mention that if seems like only a select few of us actually post reviews and that 95% of the members see the reviewed ladies without offering any feedback.
Usually when I am in town looking for companionship I use an agency. Funny how the only info the need is a phone number and e-mail address if I book online and they seem to operate safely.
I often wonder why only the indys need references.

 

[Chloë.]

If you have read any of my reviews you will notice that I often TOFTT and then post a review about her.
You might also have seen threads where I mention that if seems like only a select few of us actually post reviews and that 95% of the members see the reviewed ladies without offering any feedback.
Usually when I am in town looking for companionship I use an agency. Funny how the only info the need is a phone number and e-mail address if I book online and they seem to operate safely.
I often wonder why only the indys need references.

Like I said earlier, pretty sure those agencies you use have your email/number file on record lol....you'd be quite naïve to believe otherwise.

Also, do most indies operate with multiple women around an incall like an agency or have designated drivers/security like the agencies you regularly book with? This should be common sense, no we do not. We have less protection available to us without paying significant overhead so it's a no brainer we would do more checks when it's JUST us. Is this really that difficult to comprehend?

 

[Peterpeckerer]

My cell will always show up semi blocked. It shows as " NO NAME / 647-nnn-nnnn".
I have checked with my provider and they said that my name will only show up if the recipient of my call already has my number in THEIR contact list on their phone.
Would sending my name / number in advance to an SP in a note that says "this is me...i will be calling you...please add me to your contact list" at least get me past the BLOCKED number hurdle?
(of course my "name" might simply be my TERB handle, not my real name.)
Thanks

 

[kherg007]

I have said this a ton but it takes a ton of courage to do this gig. Imagine being all alone in a room naked with a stranger for whom you will be sharing your most intimate self. A client may know he's a good dude, and a clean dude, but the lady doesn't know you from shinola so each lady will have her own methods of insuring that she is comfortable; and, a comfortable lady will always provide better companionship than an uncomfortable one. So, if she wants a reference, no problem, but it will be limited to the fun number - as that is the number these other ladies will have thus they can properly cross reference - and happy to give out the terb handle. And yes, always a good move to give the lady whom you want to provide a reference a head's up first.