Sad cry for attention

[frankcastle]

Guys I've realized that I need to make some changes in my life. LAtely I've found myself part of some stupid gossiping and fighting with people that I shouldn't even care about.

Here are a few things that I've come to the conclusion after a 8 year $50 000 ride (just a guess).

1) Spending too much time on terb was causing me to be negative about things, picking fights and getting upset over comments made by people I don't even know.

2) Girls in the biz are here to make money not find love. Not that I pursued very many 4 to be exact.

3) That time spent on terb and that money can be put to much better use.

4) Dating is pretty hard when you get used to sliding with hotties. The family sedan just doesn't cut it next to the tricked out hot rod anymore.

So where does this leave me? I really don't know. Definitely terb has to be downgraded to a quick perusal of reviews, minimal if any posting, and recieving the odd PM.

I know I broke my midnight vow of not coming on terb but I felt like I needed to say something before I disappear or at least try to get away from the time wasting aspects of terb.

I know my last retirement was short lived but it was a doomed dating situation that worked out horribly.

The next question is do I continue to hobby?!!!??? I really don't know it's been 11 days which is pretty good seeing as I would have normally gone at least twice in that time.

What I do know is that I need to do something positive and productive with my time..... the gym for sure (not hard since I volunteer at one), lessons of some kind (there
s a couple of ideas but I'd rather not mention them), get back into reading, focus on my career, do some more home improvements. Basically I figure if I take care of myself the rest will fall into place.

I know you guys are probably reading this and thinking FC has really gone crazy this time. But I think what I've been doing is unhealthy.

I have to thank a certain person (you know who you are) for gently saying things that I was already thinking. To hear it come from someone else made the feelings that much stronger. In a weird place like this where it's all about money and taking care of yourself..... it's rare to find a voice of reason in all of this.

To that certain person I'm sorry that I ever doubted your friendship. IF anything you've said much more that expected from a friend so thank you so much. I hope that one day I can help you the ways that you've helped me with your encouragement and patience.

To the other person who needed an ear I'll still be checking my PMs so if you want to hang out.

To the fellow terbites thanks for the info and I wish you guys all the best.

It sounds like goodbye but really it isn'tit just means that I need to start changing my priorities..... coming home and turning on terb should not be the first thing done.

Some call this a cry for attention and in a way it is. In the sense that this is not something you can really talk about in regular circles of friends. Also, the possibility of getting other's perspectives who may have had similar experiences can be benficial. Finally, sometimes talking out loud helps to make things more cleaer or firm in my own mind.

 

[Svend]

Everyone should re-evaluate their lives on a regular basis. You're right about talking out loud or writing to make your thoughts clearer to yourself.

Take time out, do what you feel is right.

 

[LancsLad]

If thats what you want give it a shot, strangely there is a lot more to this world than the TERB component.

Good luck in your quest.

 

[frankcastle]

You know that's the funny part is that I throw myself into work and have done that in the past but sometimes it's just not satisfying. Lately I've been feeling like I was going through the motions which is the worst thing a teacher can do. But things are better coaching has had it rewards and some recent visits from former grads have helped as well. It's great to see them and to hear that I was right about X,Y and Z.... some have come back with a better perspective of school working in factories and others have come to appreciate the fun they had in high school sports. I stayed 4 hours after school today to run practices and to talk to some former students.

I left work feeling a bit reenergized and felt stronger about my terb and hobbying decisions. I realize that writing this may seem contradictory and to those that think so I'm sorry.

And Sheik I didn't go looking for a gf. Things happened, things were said and I misinterpretted them.

I really resent being thought of as a guy that went looking for love in the MP scene. One crush was based on common career interests, one was based ona PM and cell phone number, one was just based on a large number of visits and one was a complete accident.

Anyways, in the end it's tough to shut off those feelings but if I think about it how long have my friendships lasted (some as long as 26 years) versus length of relationships maybe friendship is the way to go if I want to keep this person in my life even if it's not the way that I originally wanted.

Not to pick a fight Sheik but it's hard to take advice from you given how immersed you seem in the scene. A bit patronizing.......Kinda like taking abstinence advice from the town whore.

 

[Svend]

Ban him!

 

[Back Burner]

This is not just directed to you Frank but to anyone and everyone.

CHECK YOURSELF!!!

Do you know why you're on TERB? Well I'm here because I want a hot girl to touch my pee pee. Simply that. Not anything emotional, not a girlfriend, not even "a" friend. Simple a hot girl to satisfy my needs for about 30 minutes because at that time I’m feeling too lazy to convince a non-industry girl to. Not to make friends even though I've made a couple, male and female, but just to get my pee pee touched by a hot woman. If it becomes anymore complicated then that...

CHECK YOURSELF!!

TERB or any internet board is a community of people with similar interest. And like in any community you're going to find people you get along with. When shit starts to get too personal, and all of a sudden you want harm to come to a person because of a few words on the internet.

CHECK YOURSELF!!

If you think that an industry woman is falling for you because you spend 1 hour (plus or minus) a week (plus or minus) with her out of 168 hours she has in the rest of the week!!! And you're fucking paying for that hour...


CHECK YOURSELF!!

We all have good conversations with the ladies and get to be buddy buddy with them and think we're special. Well you're not, and neither are you or you and yes I'm talking to you to. And neither am I. There's nothing wrong with making new friends, but again if you're looking to make friends and you start to get consumed by this whole thing...


CHECK YOURSELF!!

If you start to fall into this trap, re-read this thread again. Turn off your computer. Go out with your "real" friends. If you don't have any, get some. Date a non-industry girl. Join a gym, read a book, get another hobby. I think stamp collection is getting a bad rap. Stop taking this "paying to get your pee pee touched" so seriously!! But most of all CHECK YOUR FUCKING SELF!!

 

[Back Burner]

Actually Frank, I know the difference between fantasy and reality and I'm quite understanding of what you went through.

This is a business for me more so than anything.

CHECK YOURSELF.

 

[VERYBADBOY]

Here is my answer ... Frank knows Frank best !!!

It's simple yet it is the hardest concept to understand. From my perspective certain events have taken place recently and now you are feeling in a depressed mood. You have looked at not only those events but other events and basically took a report card of your life and gave yourself a grade that you are not to happy with.

You gather enjoyment when at work because that is your vocation but you have not yet found purpose, why am I here? you keep asking yourself and yet you know the answer. Many are in that same boat but you are closer to your goals than many others who drive taxi cabs instead of performing surgery to help the needy.

You feel that now is the time for change, not that you have been changing for the past few years but in that you are unhappy with the changes made so far. You are frustrated not only in yourself and where you are at present but where you could have been by now.

Just some observations from your posts lately, take them as you will.

The main thing is that if you really want to change, that is up to you, but if you don't change then life will make those changes for you, it's almost inevitable.

As BB says ... CHECK YOURSELF !!!

For myself, I am ever changing but the one thing that I know is that I know myself better than anyone and VBB is just an online persona and only a partial reflection.

VBB

 

[Ref]

Hehehehe. New Years Eggy. Life imitating art.

 

[MarkII]

Best of luck Frank...

I read your words and I can sympathize.

Let us know how you're doing.

M2

 

[C Note]

Congratulations on the wakeup call Frank! If it makes you feel any better, I saw one member on this board with over $5 grand worth of hooker and mpa reviews after he got back from England.

Best of luck in the future buddy

 

[AnimalMagnetism]

FC only you know what you need to do. it sure wont be the same around here without you. you've been a great help to me, and a source of many laughs(with you, not at you. ) I wish you all the best, friend. I'll keep the section warm for when you feel like popping in and contributing

 

[Remo]

This is inspirational for me too. Frank, tons of guys get to this point. In my case more than once. The good thing is the interations take longer each time.

I have to consciously avoid certain MPA because I can fall for them too easily.

Take a break from the game and the board too. Get your account banned if you have to. I've thought of that before and may do it next time I need to try and break myself of this.

Good luck. Just try to think of all the money you can spend on more Frank Castle-esque activities like tricking out the War Wagon.

 

[Ref]

Hey Frank!

Looks like you have the makings of a support group shaping up here.

Maybe you should post an email addy for the boys to respond to and you can find a better way to enjoy "That time spent on terb and that money can be put to much better use" after all, huh?

You are a teacher right? Now is your opportunity to teach the sliders that have slid into your same down-ward spiral of social ineptitude! Just think of it! A chance to heal yourself and others while always grasping that thinnest of straws to the massage world. An easy excuse to re-enter the game under the guise of a healing instructor.

Go for it Frankie Baby! Strike now, the iron is hot!

 

[AZN_LOVER]

Good Luck Brother

FC:

I don't have to tell you living by yourself isn't easy at times. You come home to an empty house, and as you get older many friends get married and drift away. Unlike school where you meet people quickly, and even better where they're all the same age, the "real world" is much harsher.

I just turned 40 and here are my dating prospects:

> If I meet somebody my own age she's most likely divorced with kids.
> If I meet somebody alot younger then she's probably immature. I met my ex when she was 22 and watched her develop for 10 years, but the process was painful. I remember all the stupid fights as she figured things out.
> I was fixed in my early 30's so if she's younger and wants kids, well... IL ain't the guy for her.

My ideal girl is a 30 year old Indian nympho with a good sense of humor who'd rather travel than change diapers, but she's rare.

Therefore, dating is difficult at the best of times and in a way it's only a partial solution to personal happiness.

You were on the right track when you mentioned positive things like joining a club or taking up a new hobby.

As for the MP business:

The deep dark secret nobody wants you to know is MPA's make money by guys falling in love with them. He repeats until he either has no more savings or wakes up and smells the coffee.

I'm not saying MPA's deliberately mislead the client, it's more like the client misleads himself. I've spoken to a couple MPA's who were rather oblivious to what was going on in front of them. When a guy ( NOT me! ) says he ONLY sees that girl and is there a couple times a week... well, do the math.

EVERY client wants to feel "special" with his favourite MPA. He doesn't want to be just another guy she jerks off before going on to the next client.

I figure most of the time you're lucky to be in the top 20% of her client base.

In rare situations one can develop TRUE friendships. I'm close to one MPA but she still lives with her BF so I'm under no illusions as to the long term prospects.

I laugh at guys who put down others who've fallen for an MPA. I'm willing to BET they've done it themselves and that's where all their wisdom came from.

IE> learning the hard way.

How else would they know?

We're not born with MP knowledge.

As for TERB:

It's fun to share info, jokes & experiences but it's only a part of our lives. The important thing is to not let it RUN our lives.

 

[john bourne]

frank,

even though i don't know you and i'm relatively new to TERB (at least posting anyway...long time lurker) i hope things work out for the best. i would just like to briefly share my opinion. i think it's very important to really step back and evaluate hobbying relative to a person's life. hobbying is just that... a hobby...entertainment, a leisure activity. for some, it might even be a stress reliever, but it should never be anything beyond that. i mean, real life involves real issues and real problems. IMO hobbying is just about having a good time banging hot chicks, while avoiding the hassles of a relationship. it's just a fun side activity to part take it from time to time. that's all. TERB is just a tool for enhancing the hobbying experience, and a source of valuable information which the hobbyist can use to make the best decision possible in order to maximize the amount of pleasure gained from each individual experience. it shouldn't be a way of life. With regards to finding love…let’s be realistic, it’s almost never going to happen. The SP’s are professionals, they provide a service and move on. That’s the way it should be. Despite the level of physical intimacy involved in hobbying, falling in love and building a relationship, shouldn’t really ever be a consideration. I guess at times it can be difficult to be intimate and professional at the same time, but anyone hoping to find love on TERB or by hobbying is only going to be misled, taken advantage of and ultimately bitterly disappointed. What’s wrong with just banging hotties, without having to worry about the BS that comes with having a GF? anyway... hopefully taking some time off will give you better perspective, and i hope it works out in your favour.

Btw, if you compare the cost of hobbying (which obviously can be quite substantial) and compare it to the cost of having a long term GF…i.e. going out to dinner, buying gifts, vacations, etc… depending on the GF, hobbying can be a bargain basement compared to a relationship. Not to mention, if you consider the cost of marriage, and the potential cost of divorce (ouch)… hobbying doesn’t seem so expensive anymore.

 

[goodtime]

Once we experienced the MP fantasies, it's hard to go back to daily life. Like riding a roller coaster, 1 day we have to get off the ride.

What worked for some may not work for others. The girls were there for me during my lows. It was a rude awakening when there's times we fend for ourselves. Counting life by the mins. Like IL, I dread going home. Eventually went back to things I enjoyed, things sort themselves out but it was a long painful & lonely journey.

1 day at a time. Good luck.

 

[Fists Of Fury]

I hate to say I told you so.

I've noticed that you used to post 1-2 times per week a year ago and then increased to 5-6 posts per day. You have to be careful when you cross the line between fantasy and reality. You saw girls, shared stories and dragged it onto the boards, I think you almost considered yourself a celebrity, rushing to the computer to "help us " with you're wisdom. Defending you're favorite spas and girls (cause they expected you too) You fell victim of believing everything you hear from girls and mp owners and in turn made yourself look really silly especially to the girls that know you. Who once again knew you would rush home to your PC to defend them.You were used as a marketing/promoting tool by girls and Mp's and didn't even realize it until it was too late. Animal Magnitism looks like he's on the same path, falling for all the gossip and drama and feverisly posting and replying to his own posts over and over and over. Keep sliding Frank, it's healthy if you can use it for exactly what it is, a good time with a good girl no strings attached.

 

[AnimalMagnetism]

Animal Magnitism looks like he's on the same path, falling for all the gossip and drama and feverisly posting and replying to his own posts over and over and over.

FoF so many beautiful women to discuss and you obsess over FC. waddup wid dat? have you tried booking under his handle?

*GULP* I was wondering when you'd make me a celeb and turn your sights on me, I feel so honoured now.
you seem much more interested in the well being of some terb members than enjoying the information and camraderie that some like minded terbites enjoy on here.
I could give a rats ass to what you think FOF, and I wont be so easily baited to play your lil game. so blast away lol I might even reply, but then again.....

 

[Caveman]

Frank, hate to say that "BEEN THERE, DONE THAT". Just like what you said, I never ventured into this hobby looking for the illusive LOVE. Unfortunately, like a lot of fellow Terbites here, I fell into the trap of thinking that I was special, that's why I was getting this "extra" mileage. Finally the bubble burst and we got hurt, both financially and psychologically. The cycle repeated itself and after a couple of times, I finally woke up like you did and understood that this bobby was only a fantasy. The hot girl who jerks you off is only doing a job, just like a doctor who cures you, a waiter who brings you food or a dry cleaner who presses your shirt. We pay for their services, no more no less. Sometimes we develop a friendship with these people, sometimes we only share mudane chit-chat with them. But I have to learn this the hard way and still once in a while I fall back into the trap that I visit a particular MPA too frequently and have to smack myself and wake myself up. Visiting this board is actully a reality check. I know I'm not alone in this hobby and not the only one falling into the trap. Sometimes, reading a post like this or going back to some of my older posts would easily bring me back to reality.