Discreet Dolls

Sex at 14 okay, says Auckland lawyer

Jan 7, 2003
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Curious as to the thoughts of others on this issue:

21 April 2003
By GORDON JON THOMPSON

The legal age for sex should be lowered to 14 because teenagers are now better informed, a lawyer says.

Auckland lawyer Colin Amery, who is representing a man charged after allegedly having underage sex with a 14-year-old girl, made the call for the change after The Dominion Post revealed that a legal loophole means a 21-year-old Wellington female swimming coach cannot be charged after having a sexual relationship with a 13-year-old boy.

He said the change was needed because children were now able to make decisions earlier about when they had sex, and society's attitudes towards sex had relaxed since the laws were last changed in 1961.

However, the Wellington boy's mother is furious the swim coach, who works for Wellington City Council, cannot not prosecuted.

Mr Amery said inequalities in the law that meant his client faced charges while the Wellington woman could not be prosecuted, needed to be eliminated. However, the real issue was whether 16 was an appropriate age for consent.

He said children under 13 needed to be protected but children older than that should be allowed to make their own decisions and were able to get information about sex from the media, especially television.

"The sexual climate of today is very different and children of 14 have a lot of sexual knowledge these days compared with 1961. At 14, young people have a degree of physical maturity but not necessarily emotional and psychological maturity, and the law has hopelessly failed to keep up with that," he said.

Children's Commissioner Roger McClay said children, no matter what gender, needed to be protected from having sex too early and he welcomed moves from the Government to make sex between an adult woman and a boy illegal.

Mr McClay said it was ridiculous the woman could not be charged.

"If it was a male they would be in court and I would be calling them a paedophile. All children have the right to be protected - sometimes from themselves."

The boy was still a child in the eyes of the law even if he was physically mature, and children could be abused no matter what sex they were, he said. "It's totally irresponsible and that person should hang their head in shame . . . because she has taken advantage of him," he said.

The woman, who spoke to The Dominion Post last week, said she believed she had not done anything wrong and had loved the boy. She said she had checked she was not breaking the law before starting the sexual relationship with him.

Justice Minister Phil Goff said he would introduce amendments to the Crimes Act to close the loophole that allows women having sex with boys to escape prosecution. These are due to go to the Cabinet in the next two months.

Mr Goff said once the amendments were approved by the Cabinet, they would be sent for drafting, and he expected to introduce the bill by the end of the year.

The anomaly was based on an outmoded assumption that women were incapable of committing sex offences, he said.

National police spokesman Tony Ryall said Mr Goff first promised to close the loophole in January 2000, and the changes Mr Goff planned to introduce were formulated years ago.
 

train

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I'd be pissed at my mom for ruining a good thing with the 21 year old female swim coach .
 
T

The Baron

14 is way too young to be having sex, male or female, The swimming coach should be prosicuted, just because the victom was a boy dosent make it less of a crime. Had the coach been male and the kid female you can imagin the what would happen to the coach. It may have been a adventure for the boy but it could effect his whole attitude about sex for the rest of his life. christ he'll probly end up posting in this board with the rest of us sexual deviants.

Barom
 
I recieved a phone call the other day from a guy who said his 14 year old daughter was looking for work and could I help by giving her a job.
I was disgusted, called him a few choice names and hung up on him.
I think the trick is to imagine having a daughter or son ( if you don't already have one... I do ) that is nearing that age and ask yourself if you'd be comfortable with the thought of her/him having sex with someone who is 3 or 4 years ( or more ) her senior. Now it may depend on the kid ( he/she may show exceptional maturity.....) but I believe that point here is that it is inapropriate for someone in their 20's, for example, to be having a sexual relationship with someone in their early teens. Period. As far as I'm concerned that is a parents obligation and responsibility to monitor, not the law's.
I would think that those laws exist more for a pedophile than for your average horny teenage couple. It is a way for police to slap another charge on people who without it would spend far too little time in prison ( the rape/molestation sentances are far too lenient....but thats another topic ).
Every once in a while something like this happens and I think that it is more a matter of a scared/vindictive/desperate parent taking advantage of the law than a matter that is worthy of prosecution, but that they feel as though they have no choice...
A 21 year old anybody with a 13 year old kid is pretty sick but in this case is a parental ( or psychiatric )matter not a legal one.

Steph
 

luckyjackson

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Aug 19, 2001
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My opinion on this very important subject will be determined by the answer to one question.

How old is that girl dancing in front of the t.v. on that Clarica commercial?
 
Jan 7, 2003
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Steph@Hollywood said:
I recieved a phone call the other day from a guy who said his 14 year old daughter was looking for work and could I help by giving her a job.
I was disgusted, called him a few choice names and hung up on him. Steph
That son-of-a-bitch still around? He's been doing that for at least the last 4 years now. Same thing happened to me about 3 years ago. I reacted pretty much in the same way. Actually, I was kicking myself for not drawing the bastard out to a coffee shop and beating the tar out of him.

In hindsight, he could've been a cop checking to see if you'd hire minors.

The Baron said:
14 is way too young to be having sex, male or female, The swimming coach should be prosicuted, just because the victom was a boy dosent make it less of a crime. Had the coach been male and the kid female you can imagin the what would happen to the coach. Barom
I agree. That's why I started this thread. I was curious as to how others thought about the matter.
 

jasmine jade

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well if find it really sick that a person over 18 would take advantage of a person under that age and as for working thats really really sick!!!! i feel that alot of the young females today are having sex at a really young age i unfortanally lost my virginity at the age of 13 to a sweet talking 21yo at the time boy do i feel dumb........ so i know that it is really easy to be getting in to a sexual relationship at such a young age all we have to do is hope that we educate our children at a young age and hope they keep it in mind i dont want my kids having to go through what i did...long story dont ask.........
 

train

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I know this will be an unpopular opinion and I'm not really sure of any real basis for it other than memories of long ago but......

I do feel that there is a real difference between 14 yr old boys and girls when it comes to this . I'm having a hard time feeling that the 14 yr old boy is likely to be scarred by the sexual encounter with the 21 yr old swim coach . I mean what 14 year old boy didn't waste countless hours fantasizing about the hot substitute teacher . I just don't think I would have been hurt ...It is more likely that emotional damage would occur from an abusive teacher belittling his academic efforts .

Maybe I'm just from the Jurrasic age but I think the opposite is true for girls and there needs to be some protection .

As far as working as a 14 yr old escort that , of course , is just .sick .
 
Train,
I don't think that the point is nescessarily "trauma" for the 13 year old boy, but that it is inapropriate for the 21 year old to persue a sexual relationship with someone that young. The kid probably thought that it was amazing!
As for the double standard I agree that it does exist and thats where "parental control" should come into play. If our children grow up with a healthy sense of their own sexuality then perhaps they wouldn't be willing to "give it up" to the first sweet talking guy that comes their way...Education ( and maybe some serious counselling for the 21 year old ) not incarceration is whats important here. After all how many healthy normal 21 year old's do you know that are interested in 13 year old boys/girls?

Steph
 

train

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Steph@Hollywood said:
After all how many healthy normal 21 year old's do you know that are interested in 13 year old boys/girls?

Steph
If you had said " normal 21 year old women " my smart-ass answer would be " Not Enough ! ".

You make some good points , however. I am no expert here ( fortunate that I have never needed to be ) but it always seemed that counselling has been entirely ineffective in these matters in the past . Perhaps that just applies to the stereo-typical pediphile and this feels different . Maybe it would help .

It didn't sound like Mom was angry that the swim teach ( or sonny boy for that matter ) wasn't getting counselling in the article that I read .

As far as the 21 yr old guy and the 13 or 14 yr old girl , it's hard to tell whether it was a predatory type of thing or a " Jerry Lee Lewis" type of thing . The former needs to be dealt with more severely than the latter but I don't have any brilliant suggestions on how to distinguish legally one from the other .
 

papasmerf

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14??

As the father of a 15 year old daughter I will and can say only what I would do.


Depending on the age of the young man I would either call the police and tell them I think I just killed an armed intruder or help him understand how this was a huge mistake.

Yes she would be pissed.
 
Aug 18, 2001
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Age and Informed Consent

Since this is a discussion about a 14 year old I don't see how this related to peadophilia. And how can we say, with absolute certainty, that a 14 year old can't give infomed consent? How can we say that we have apriori knowledge that a 14 year old can't give informed consent? To me, it's the ability to give *informed* consent that separates what should be legal vs illegal. Control over our minds takes time to develop and that development will be different from person to person. Therefore we need a law to protect those who can't possibly be held responsible for their actions because they've not had that time. It should be obvious that children need that protection. But, that protection should be for children NOT teenagers. Remember, with freedom comes responsibility.
 
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