SP's - What do your...
- Thread starter MmmMilena
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When I first got into the biz, I kept it very much a secret from everyone. I eventually told two of my closest friends at the time- one was very supportive, the other decided that he didn't 'approve' (yes it was a he, I should've known better). He then proceeded to tell everyone I knew, including my family. I lost some friends/acquaintances because of it. My family, on the other hand, didn't seem to mind but they tend to never mention it. We have a sort of silent understanding I suppose.
Chloe
Chloe
My whole family and base of friends knows and either is supportive or doesn't say otherwise to me.
Years ago, I used to tell everyone I met -- I wanted to be honest -- but over the years I've learned to distinguish between people who don't need to know and people to whom it doesn't really matter, and those to whom it does matter. I guess that's the definition of discretion.
But even my family is weird about it. I have a couple of great aunts who "worked" through the great war (... not sure if that was WWI or WWII!). There were whispers about them but they were revered at the end of their days. Maybe that was an influencing factor on my own personal choices.
I always found it odd that my mother would rail and lecture me when I was a young call girl -- but then, for my birthdays or xmas or when there were sales, she'd buy me dresses she figured I'd need for work.
In recent years, I've had both my mom and my daughter critique my ad text or banner ads.
It's an odd thing the whole stigma -- on one hand, it's a negative thing. But on another, it has a life of its own. And family and friends outside the business seem willing to jump right into it.
..x..
Years ago, I used to tell everyone I met -- I wanted to be honest -- but over the years I've learned to distinguish between people who don't need to know and people to whom it doesn't really matter, and those to whom it does matter. I guess that's the definition of discretion.
But even my family is weird about it. I have a couple of great aunts who "worked" through the great war (... not sure if that was WWI or WWII!). There were whispers about them but they were revered at the end of their days. Maybe that was an influencing factor on my own personal choices.
I always found it odd that my mother would rail and lecture me when I was a young call girl -- but then, for my birthdays or xmas or when there were sales, she'd buy me dresses she figured I'd need for work.
In recent years, I've had both my mom and my daughter critique my ad text or banner ads.
It's an odd thing the whole stigma -- on one hand, it's a negative thing. But on another, it has a life of its own. And family and friends outside the business seem willing to jump right into it.
..x..
I'm not saying that this profession is bad or something immoral (or else I would not be hobbying). My only problem of having a family member or a close friend work in this profession is that there might have some really bad clients who are rude and disrespecful to her (although I believe the majority of them are true gentlemen) and I just don't feel good for having to worry too much on my own. So, I will not be supportive for this sole reason.
Well, if that's your sole reason, then I'm sure there are a whole host of other jobs you wouldn't support a loved one for choosing either.
For example, working in a bank or as a cashier where someone might come in and put a gun in her face. Or as a flight attendant -- some people seem to feel it's perfectly okay to drink more than they can manage and get rude and even physically abusive with flight attendants. I suppose you wouldn't want her to work for any government agency either -- people are always yelling at civil servants.
In any business where you're dealing with people, you're going to encounter rudeness, disrespect, chips on shoulders, etc. In any business where you're dealing with cash, you're going to face the possibility of someone robbing you.
Over the years, I have known quite a number of cops and paramedics -- and frankly, I wouldn't want to have their jobs. If I encounter someone who's rude, plastered, has a bad attitude or bad hygiene, I can just walk away. I don't have to deal with him. But imagine the situation cops or paramedics are in! They don't get to choose.
You have it all wrong about our business. If an SP is selective and smart enough to cultivate a healthy base of regular clients, then she will live in a world you can't even imagine. Most of my friends _aren't_ in the business, and every time I listen to their horror stories of what they have to put up with at work, I shudder. And then I realize how lucky I am. Geez, I've got guys insisting to me that the most important thing to them is my pleasure!! How many jobs are there around like that???
..c.. ,,,, joyful c...
For example, working in a bank or as a cashier where someone might come in and put a gun in her face. Or as a flight attendant -- some people seem to feel it's perfectly okay to drink more than they can manage and get rude and even physically abusive with flight attendants. I suppose you wouldn't want her to work for any government agency either -- people are always yelling at civil servants.
In any business where you're dealing with people, you're going to encounter rudeness, disrespect, chips on shoulders, etc. In any business where you're dealing with cash, you're going to face the possibility of someone robbing you.
Over the years, I have known quite a number of cops and paramedics -- and frankly, I wouldn't want to have their jobs. If I encounter someone who's rude, plastered, has a bad attitude or bad hygiene, I can just walk away. I don't have to deal with him. But imagine the situation cops or paramedics are in! They don't get to choose.
You have it all wrong about our business. If an SP is selective and smart enough to cultivate a healthy base of regular clients, then she will live in a world you can't even imagine. Most of my friends _aren't_ in the business, and every time I listen to their horror stories of what they have to put up with at work, I shudder. And then I realize how lucky I am. Geez, I've got guys insisting to me that the most important thing to them is my pleasure!! How many jobs are there around like that???
..c.. ,,,, joyful c...
I would ask you to think about something, too: much of the stigma about how risky and hard it is to be an SP was built in the days before women of class were expected to work outside the home. Women of lower socio-economic classes often had to work in shops or as schoolteachers or as serving staff or maids, but it wasn't viewed as a career and it wasn't viewed as desirable -- just as working as an SP wasn't viewed as desirable. With some notable exceptions, most families that could afford to do so kept their women at home tending to the family. It was presumed that they were safer there, treated better and faced fewer risks. (Not that it was necessarily so.)
It's only just been in the past few decades that it's normal for women to have careers and work outside the home.
So before you go allowing an outdated stigma to govern you, think things through. As far as jobs for women go, I don't think you'll find too many better than working as an SP.
..c..
It's only just been in the past few decades that it's normal for women to have careers and work outside the home.
So before you go allowing an outdated stigma to govern you, think things through. As far as jobs for women go, I don't think you'll find too many better than working as an SP.
..c..
JoyfulC, it's different from working as a SP (I meant an indie who works alone) to a teller in a bank or a flight attendant. A teller or a flight attendant does not work alone! Even if a smart SP who is selective as you've said might encounter a first time client who is a real asshole and it might be too late to turn him down if he's abusive!
Even though bank tellers and flight attendants don't work alone, when you have a gun pointed at your head or a box cutter at your throat, it really doesn't matter if you're in a crowd of a thousand. You're still alone.
I feel a lot safer working than I do just being out walking around or driving on the highway. I have a 28-year-old daughter -- a real looker! -- who is not in my business, but she is in a business that requires her to be out running around at all hours of the night, often to clubs or events (she's in radio). We worry ourselves *sick* over her! (And when she's not working, she's off to Paris or Mykonos to run around and do the night life thing there.) Frankly, I'd probably feel a lot less concerned if she had a 9-to-5 office job (which she'd hate) or even if she was an independent SP. There are just a lot fewer variables to manage.
..c..
I feel a lot safer working than I do just being out walking around or driving on the highway. I have a 28-year-old daughter -- a real looker! -- who is not in my business, but she is in a business that requires her to be out running around at all hours of the night, often to clubs or events (she's in radio). We worry ourselves *sick* over her! (And when she's not working, she's off to Paris or Mykonos to run around and do the night life thing there.) Frankly, I'd probably feel a lot less concerned if she had a 9-to-5 office job (which she'd hate) or even if she was an independent SP. There are just a lot fewer variables to manage.
..c..
This is an interesting thread. For me as a hobby-est I don't tell people that I see SP's. They'll think I'm stupid. “Why would you pay for sex”?. And the thing is I'm actually an alright looking guy (Athletic build, 28 not to brag or anything) and I would probably have no problems finding someone.
For me I'm just sick of the drama and to be honest I don't really know if I can really trust the women of today. Everyone seem to be cheaters. I've been cheated on and it makes you feel worthless and unwanted.
Anyways,
Oh, one last thing; I worry about SP's out there. - STD's - did you know if left untreated some of these STD's can leave a women infertile. Cervical cancer to. ttp://www.talksexwithsue.com/sexindex.html (Sue Johansen website if you want to read up on things)
Also I’m sure there are sicko’s out there. Like rapist for instance, not sure if you notice but there aren’t to many cases now a days. I wonder if they’re going to SP’s to get rid of their frustrations? That’s a scary thought especially if you’re into a certain SP and you have feelings for that person, not good!!
This is why I shouldn’t post anything I’m to damn open,
For me I'm just sick of the drama and to be honest I don't really know if I can really trust the women of today. Everyone seem to be cheaters. I've been cheated on and it makes you feel worthless and unwanted.
Anyways,
Oh, one last thing; I worry about SP's out there. - STD's - did you know if left untreated some of these STD's can leave a women infertile. Cervical cancer to. ttp://www.talksexwithsue.com/sexindex.html (Sue Johansen website if you want to read up on things)
Also I’m sure there are sicko’s out there. Like rapist for instance, not sure if you notice but there aren’t to many cases now a days. I wonder if they’re going to SP’s to get rid of their frustrations? That’s a scary thought especially if you’re into a certain SP and you have feelings for that person, not good!!
This is why I shouldn’t post anything I’m to damn open,
rape is not about sex, im 21 and know that. Being desperate and horny, that is when you may try to force a girl, and that is about sex, but rape is a power issue.
It's too bad the things that would make SP's safer happen to be illegal. The safest setup for an SP would be to have a few girls working together out of a single location. It raises the bar considerably for anyone who wants to try something versus simply having to overpower one single woman. Yes you can say if someone has a weapon like a gun what good does it do--first it raised the bar that far already, second even a gunman can't be sure there isn't someone he doesn't know about hiding in a closet dialing 911 on her cell. Realistically it'd take a whole gang organized home invasion to "secure" the establishment to avoid that--at which point, houses in rosedale and forest hill are probably better targets. There's simply safety in numbers.
Unfortunately a setup like that exactly fits the definition of a common bawdy house, that is too bad. I think the law should allow groups of independent SP's to pool their resources and set up a safe location. I think it's still possible to outlaw pimps--nobody is "living off the avails" in a setup like that.
Unfortunately a setup like that exactly fits the definition of a common bawdy house, that is too bad. I think the law should allow groups of independent SP's to pool their resources and set up a safe location. I think it's still possible to outlaw pimps--nobody is "living off the avails" in a setup like that.
Actually there has been cases of landlords who know what is going on being charged with "living off the avails". The key is ignorance (funny as that sounds).fuji said:
Still, there are plenty of people who can be charged with LotA in the situation outlined above (think of the poor pizza guy happening along at the wrong time). I think the law should be tweaked only slightly to state that common bawdy houses are illegal in residential areas, thus allowing set-ups in commercial and/or industrial zoned areas. Public solicitation should be kept illegal entirely and a push made to bring all those types indoors to these types of establishments or into a rehab program or whatever is the best venue for their root cause, and living off the avails should be decriminalized and heavily regulated.Immediate family/best friends: Ho. Reaction -- don't get killed.MmmMilena said:
Not immediate/casual acquaintances: Porn Site Designer. Reaction: 'Can you get me free porn?'
So, turning the tables on the guys reading this thread -- do your immediate family and friends know you pay for pussy, and, if so, what were their reactions?
- Morgan
Two points:playw/respect said:
- I've read about an awful lot of store clerks who've been robbed, raped or worse, and they all worked alone.
- An awful lot of indies don't work alone. In fact, I would never work alone. It was always a rule in our collective -- no one works without someone else in the house, ever, and always make sure the clients know you're not alone.
So, it's not like it's impossible to work safely as an indie, or to work unsafely in another career.
I've always stood by my statement that I double dog DARE the cops to bust me for working in a collective. I still stand by it -- bust me. Come on, do it. I'd love to see that one go to court. In fact, I've had a standing arrangement with a lawyer who wanted to take that case all the way to the supreme court, if and when it happened. I refuse to be told that I cannot do the one thing that truly makes me feel safe to work independently, and the one thing that saved me from serious harm when a bad situation arose. I'd do jail time for that, fuck yeah. Any day, any time. Telling me that I can't work when, where and how I feel safest is, in my opinion, the true definition of pimping.
Fuck you, bawdy house laws.
- Morgan
