Stigma of the sex worker

[Theredmilf]

I agree with most of your post, but take issue with this last part.

Sometimes it seems like people conflate 'stigma' with 'shame', but they're not synonymous. Clients can avoid externalized stigma by keeping their interests a secret. We may still feel shame (and I'm all for a society that stops imposing/reinforcing those feelings) but that's not really the stigma we're talking about. The stigma that sex workers endure is expressed in actual, material terms, and can be unavoidable (ie. they can't perpetually hide their job, like we can perpetually hide the fact that we're clients).

Like, when a client needs to prove income/employment for some official reason, their status as a client is never going to interfere with that... but if a SW has to do the same they may need to expose their job to a stranger, and then face real consequences/judgment for doing so. If they want to get a civilian job at some point they can't use their work experience as a SW without exposing themselves to judgment... but as a client I would never have any reason to include my status as a client on a resume. As clients, our banks/payment processors will never identify us as clients and fuck with us, but SWs identified by financial institutions often face unfair consequences. I'm sure there are dozens of other ways this stigma expresses itself, but the actual SWs on the board will have much better examples than I do (because, unfortunately, they've probably all experienced a multitude of them).

One important example is housing. Almost all the sex workers I know have suffered some form of housing insecurity. And while we’re required by law to work indoors, almost no landlords, communities or condo boards want to accept us.

 

[gibarian]

That whole post slays, Ruby, but this part...

This could play out in undesirable ways like rendering uncovered oral sex illegal, making it difficult to work as an independent, requiring client verification with private information being stored and monitored, creating a two-tiered system where workers who cannot license are driven into a black market.

Holy shit, I think you just gave the most 'mic drop' example possible for convincing other clients that decrim > regulated legalization. I will be remembering that one.

 

[StillROAMing]

I support SWs. Stigma sucks. I signed the House of Commons petition. If revisited I don't think they will be asking clients or SWs on change. I just hope it doesn't come back to bite us in the ass.

 

[Spunkyguy]

That whole post slays, Ruby, but this part...


Holy shit, I think you just gave the most 'mic drop' example possible for convincing other clients that decrim > regulated legalization. I will be remembering that one.

Ahhh there’s the rub. You have rights as long as they don’t interfere with my ability to get a bbbj regardless of the risk. Ha. That’s where the rubber ( pardon the pun ) hits the road

 

[Demonoid007]

I like to think I am supportive of SW. I have more than once jumped to their defense whenever discussion about legalization happened with friends and coworkers and expressing my rather open views on the matter (whatever happens between consenting adults should not be an issue... legal protections...etc... type of arguments).
However, I hate to admit that once I was chatting with a SW, and she asked me point blank if I would feel comfortable dating a regularly working SW. I was blindsided by the question.... because while I, in theory, have no issues with it, and I truly would have no issues dating a former SW, at that time my first thoughts were about health risks concerns, and imagining if I would feel comfortable with my partner exposing herself daily to the risks of the industry. I hated to say at the time that no, I would not feel comfortable dating a working SW. It was an educational moment for me. Two things I learned that night:
1. Part of the problem with the stigma comes from issues that decriminalization/legalization may address, but a large part do not.
2. If somebody like me, that considers themselves a very liberal (almost libertarian) person and an ally, struggles with such issues, then as a society, we still have a very long way to go to remove the stigma related to the industry.

I am still a bit hopeful, however, as I do think that many in the younger generations seem to be much more open and relaxed with old sex hang-ups (maybe is the tinder influence, who knows!), and maybe they will have a smaller hill to conquer to remove those stigmas.

 

[Gntlmn]

I'm smelling some fishy bizness in this thread, too. Like we saw months ago: "the incessant need to win any thread, no matter what direction it goes" and things like that.
#RESPECT

 

[Claudia Love]

I’m not sure if decriminalizing sex work will erase the stigma but it can definitely do a lot of good! Stigma is something my colleagues and I talk about constantly, my personal view is that if isn’t an issue for me than it shouldn’t be an issue for you. I know that’s easier said than done and will always respect that people have the right to think want they want.

How I have been going around challenging the stigma is just to be completely transparent about what I do, in my personal interactions with people outside is the sw world, (I.e friends, family, work etc). I just tell it to them how it is as I think the fact that I don’t act ashamed of what I do (not that anyone should be), and am actually Nonchalant about it might actually cause them to reassess and think about it. I take every opportunity to explain and educate about what I think the industry is about. Yeah there’s certain things like services etc! BUT it’s natural for humans wanting experience each other! It’s building a connection, a rapport, intimacy and being vulnerable, it’s being able to freely explore a side of yourself without fear of being judged!!

I always tell people this work has done so much for me. Not just fiscally speaking but breaking down my perception on age, and discovering my own sexuality and creating amazing bonds with both clients and fellow workers. I have found that voicing these aspects as well as being open and upfront has had a positive impact on how people view my as a member of the industry and the industry itself.

I know everyone’s case is different but I truly think if people were less afraid of what people would think of them and took the chance of being open and upfront it could really change things. It’s not up to laws but the people themselves. If you keep treating it as taboo nothing will change. This is just my humble opinion. Xox no disrespect intended!

decriminalization will have sex workers not afraid of asshole police.

 

[Sinfulmarv]

When the average Canadian thinks of “prostitution,” they think of street level sex workers beholden to a pimp, largely motivated to feed their cocaine addiction. Those Asian women in storefront massage parlors and residential brothels are trafficked victims need to be “rescued” (e.g., hastily deported back to their countries).

This is a narrative that is perpetuated by radical feminists and abolitionists. One of the rhetorical strategies employed by these groups is to hyperbolize sensational generalizations. Most sex workers are trafficked, exploited children, suffer various mental illnesses, abused etc. This strategy not only makes sex work dirty, it's effective at suggesting that the voices of sex workers should not be listened to.

Sex workers aren't in a position to know any better. Or they're "out of their mind."

It's hard to argue against two consenting adults engaging in a trade of sex for money. But people will have reservations if they think human trafficking and child exploitation is widespread.