Wham Bam Thank You Maam School of Hobbying
Prerequisite: Youth, Apathy, Callousness, "Stamina", Selfishness
Precepts:
1) Never, ever share any truth about your real life outside of the "hobby". Always maintain anonymity, and be careful to keep the web of falsehoods of your fictional personality consistent.
2) Never refer to the provider by her chosen moniker. Refer to her as "baby", "honey", or "chick". Even descend to vulgarity. She'll respect you for your candidness.
3) Ask her lots of personal questions persistently, but maintain your own anonymity at all costs.
4) DFK is overrated. Embracing is futile. Light traces of your fingertips over her soft skin is also out of bounds. Never, ever stroke your hands through her hair, whisper sweet nothings into her ear, nibble on her neck, or offer a massage of her delicate frame.
5) Never offer any sort of gratuity, nor any gifts that she may appreciate based on the personal questions you asked her earlier. As far as your concerned, she has no interests outside of making hanky panky with you.
6) Never repeat with the same provider. Too many fish in this sea.
7) Accept oral pleasure, but never offer it in return.
8) Power sex. Quick and painless. Unless you're into pain.
9) When you're done, leave without saying a word. Leave the tribute at the base of the bed, get dressed, and bugger off.
10) Central precept: Get in. Get out. Go home.
Cost of programme: Priceless. Your soul. Your self worth. Egotistical lifetime of self indulgent narcissism.
P.S. Descartes was obsessive about doubt. Not as much as the solipcists that believe everyone and everything is a figment of their imagination, but still pretty content that nothing could be trusted. Descartes was also alleged to be a hypochondriac and manic depressive -- ie. obsessed with his own failures in his body, and likely his own soul.
MrO