the best sex that almost...

[Play[er]boy]

...happened?
My true story:
2 years ago I walk into a sex toy store in Odessa (Ukraine) to buy some lube and there is this cute saleswoman (age maybe 20-22), alone, reading Nietzshe (spelling?). I turn on all the charm I can manage and after one hour I'm walking out with the following info: the girl likes me; the store is full with aphrodisiacs, dildos and whatever shit you can imagine and this girl has the total knowledge and access to it; moreover, she has the key to the store and they have 2 mattresses stucked in the back; and on top of that she likes Greek...I feel like I died and went to heaven...we were supposed to go out on the weekend with an obvious end...then she stood me up (or so I thought)... and then it was my last day in town and I came to the store again and she tells me that her father died the day before and that is the reason she could not come...and I can tell it's true...I felt like I was castrated...what you gonna say? ...she felt horrible as well...bye-bye kiss evolved into passionate DFK, we promised to meet again and I walked out...never been there since...

 

[queenie]

greif counselling

Sex is very life affirming. You should have told her that.

 

[Play[er]boy]

Even though it will not be easy to beat the [never happened]Greek with Nietzshe-reading girl in sexshop, I am sure that some terbites have equally or more exciting stories...care to share?

 

[Play[er]boy]

Re: greif counselling

Sex is very life affirming. You should have told her that.

I physically had no time...but thanks for your support

 

[Cardinal Fang]

I wonder what Freud would say about a sales person in a "sex shop" reading Nietzsche?

 

[DenWa]

I have a story about sex that almost happened but thank God it didn't.

I used to work at an SC while in college. I was their top bartender, and the waitresses were usually pretty easy to make friends with. So there was a new waitress, super hot little blond with a killer body. Now, I've always done ok with the ladies, but this girl took a strange and instant liking to me. Her name was Linda, but she told me to call her Courtney. I thought this was a little weird, but whatever. So we flirt for a few days, then she invites me over to her place. We're going to go to a club, so she needs to change into a sexier outfit. She strips in front of me, saying I probably see that all the time so no biggie. She's sitting cross legged on the floor in her thong and bra, and asks me to rub lotion on her new tattoo, which is very near her fun stuff. The whole time I was there I had the weirdest feeling, like something was off. First of all she was staying in a trailer home with a guy friend, but she had her own room. Well, her room was just trashed, and there were hardcore porn magazines covering every available surface. Just fucking bizaarre. She was going on about how much she loves bigger guys (I'm a little stocky), and how she can't get pregnant because of some health problem she has. We kissed a little, and she obviously wanted more, but I just had a bad feeling. Well, despite going against basically every instinct I have, I just didn't take the bait, and made up an excuse to leave. I drove home feeling like an idiot, in total disbelief that I passed up that piece of ass. So a couple days later I'm at work, and I find out that she had been fired. Why? SHE WAS ONLY 15!!!! She had used some other girls' license and social security card, which is why her name was "Linda" but wanted to be called Courtney. The whole thing was bizarre as all hell, and I knew something wasn't right from the start.

Dw

 

[DenWa]

Nietzsche is Dead

-God

 

[Cardinal Fang]

Good radar there DenWa!

 

[wrong hole]

I wonder what Freud would say about a sales person in a "sex shop" reading Nietzsche?

...she has a Electra complex....or she's a dirty girl that wants to give rise to the Aryan nation....

....or she just likes the birth of tragedy....

 

[Play[er]boy]

The question is how much merchandise did she sell you?
Girl..."oh baby buy all this shit and bring it with you on our date"
Dude...."mmm ok honey but do we really need this much?"
Girl...."oh baby you have no idea what i will do with you"
Dude..."ummmmmm ok"
Cash Register..."CHA CHING, CHA CHING, CHA CHING ,CHA CHING"
Father that owns the store...."gud day at vork babeski?"
Girl......."yep another sucker poppa"
Player Boy...me thinks you got played...if you didnt buy anything oh well i had fun writing this...so dont yell at me

I didn't buy anything...and chemistry was there from the start...good thing she was not super beautiful...just cute...or I'd kill myself

 

[fflowley]

Denwa

Den,

I was sure the ending of your story was going to involve "her" having a big weiner hidden between those crossed legs.

Glad that wasnt the case for your sake.

Flooey!