The Blonde Joke To End All Blonde Jokes

[steel24]

oldies but goodies

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?

Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.

Q: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs?
A: Because that's what they train for all their lives.

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.

 

[Anynym]

Then there are various canonical lists. Like this one: p1 p2 p3 p4 p5 p6
That site seems to have a nice collection of canonical joke lists.

 

[a 1 player]

A brunette is walking down the street when she meets up with her blonde friend who is carrying a sack over her shoulder.

"What's in the bag?" asks the brunette.

"Chickens" replies the blonde.

"If I can guess how many chickens are in that bag, will you give me one of them?" asks the brunette.

"If you can guess how many chickens are in this bag I'll give you both of them."

 

[Cinema Face]

The first joke on this thread reminds me of this one:

Two blondes are walking down the beach and one finds a mirror. She stares, puzzled at the reflection and says, "There's something familiar about this person."

The other says, "let me see" When she looks at the mirror she says, "You idiot. That's me!"

 

[lawyerman]

The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing.

He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?"

She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"

 

[lawyerman]

A blonde is like a pooltable, put a dollar in and she'll rack your balls.

 

[lawyerman]

Three blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those must be deer tracks!"
The second blonde said, "No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!"

The third blondie said, "No, you idiots, those are horse tracks!"

They where still arguing ten minutes later when a train hit them.

 

[HafDun]

I sat in the airport in Vegas last month as a blonde dumped a roll of quarters into a pop machine and filled her purse with cans of pop as we waited to board the plane. She saw me watching and motioned me over and asked "can you watch this machine while I get more change? I'm on a winning streak!"

 

[Insidious Von]

A blonde couple go on their second honeymoon. The book the same honeymoon suite they had when they were newlyweds. Then they decide to recreate their first contact; they strip naked and being former gymnasts summersault toward each other. Unfortunately their eyesight isn't what it used to be, they completely miss each other and the blonde man summersaults out the window. Fortunately for him they were only three floors up. As he regains consciousness he sees paramedics run passed him.

He shouts, "help me I'm in pain here".
One of the paramedics yells back, "We'll get to you later, there's a blonde stuck to a doorknob".