The El Kabong Report, Version 13.0

[El Kabong]

The new addition is Vera.

Here then is the updated El Kabong ratings list.

1. Kristen – Very petite, very bubbly, very responsive, very giving and very caring. Of all the girlfriend experiences I’ve ever had, Kristen seems the most like a real girlfriend. I think she's somewhat older than the age quoted in her ad but that's OK, I prefer women in their 30s and older.

2. Karyn Svensen – Amazing sessions with a great lady who reads all of my desires like a book and responds perfectly. She is the only woman who has ever fulfilled my Becky Lynch fantasies. Doesn’t seem to be available very often.

3. Naughty Natalie – Two of the best sessions I’ve ever had from an SP. She’s gorgeous and smart. Now retired.

4. Alex Grenyait - Beautiful, smart and a terrific lover. If you’ve ever fantasized about 40+ movie stars like Michelle Pfeiffer or Kim Basinger, Alex is the woman for you.

5. Meg O’Ryan - And if you’ve ever fantasized about the beautiful MILF next door, Meg is wonderful.

6. Amber (aka The Red MILF) - Beautiful, smart and very talented. Now known as Ruby Lust.

7. Sayori – Best ever beyond GFE massage.

8. Sweet Emily J - Totally enjoyable experiences with a great girl next door type.

9. Sasha May – Also totally enjoyable experiences with a great girl next door type.

10. Camryn Lee – Superb beyond GFE massage. Now independent.

11. Porsche – Beautiful, smart and very sexy MILF MA. Has disappeared from AT/PS so may have retired.

12. Jessy Celeste – Perhaps my most intense session ever. Only negative was that while she
advertised a non-smoking environment, I could taste cigarettes in her DFK (which, otherwise, was fabulous).

13. Adorable Ashley – Beautiful, friendly and great in bed.

14. Parker - Smart, girl-next-door type with a nice personality and excellent skills. Update: This rating is based on a couple of visits from several years ago when she was in Hull. Later, though, the negative attitudes she expressed on Twitter scared me away. Haven’t seen any ads or tweets in a long time so she may have retired.

15. Molly – So much better in her new incall than at Body Basic. Truly excellent.

16. Delilah Rose (now known as Inara) – A very enjoyable session with a lovely girl.

17. Miss Katherine - I’ve read that she can be hit or miss. With me she was excellent. Haven’t seen her ads in a long time so she may have left town or retired.

18. Lany - Excellent slippery beyond GFE massage.

19. Stacy Starr - Also an excellent beyond GFE massage session.

20. Farrah – Yet another excellent beyond GFE massage artist. Older than most of the Paradise Spa ladies, but one of the best. Now independent.

21. Vera – A statuesque and stunning lady who offers a very enjoyable limited GFE session with a spectacular (Italian) finish.

22. Jessica - Several excellent GFE+ sessions when she was independent.

23. Vicky French - A nice session with a bright, attractive lady. I was a bit disappointed by the kissing, though. DFK is a favorite thing for me but it was really LFK at best.

24. Sexy Rebecca – Good girl next door type.

25. Lea Lourdes – A good GFE massage that would have been great had the kissing actually been DFK.

26. Chantal Lee – Also a good GFE massage that would have been great had the kissing actually been DFK.

27. Kandice – A pleasant GFE massage, but no fireworks.

28. Anna – Another pleasant GFE massage with no fireworks.

29. Jennifer Jade - OK session with (borderline BBW) MILF next door.

30. Leigh Munroe - OK session with now retired MILF. I was disappointed by the strong taste of her cigarettes during DFK and it would have been better had she not talked so much. I do enjoy conversation but she just went on and on.

31. Maya @ AT - A walk on the wild side. I’m glad I experienced it once but am not really into what she’s into.

32. Nala - A pleasant experience with an extremely tall ebony girl. Very nice but a little too passive to make me want to repeat.

33. Isa – A nice massage with DFK.

34. Hunter – Based on her photos and communications beforehand, this was a session I looked forward to with great anticipation. Hunter is quite beautiful and friendly and at $300 per hour I expected a fabulous session at her private incall location. What I got was average service with patter that sounded totally rehearsed.

35. Talia Ciara - She’s beautiful and nice and the session was OK, but I didn’t connect with her. So safe that even fingers that want to explore got covered. Seems to have disappeared from the scene so she may have retired.

36. Robyn – Good, teasing massage that did not, in any way, rise to what I would consider GFE.

37. Sacha – She is a beautiful MILF (advertises on BP as German) but seems like she’s just going through the motions.

38. Alexa de la Rosa – One of the most disappointing sessions ever. Alexa is quite beautiful and based on her website and texts I had high hopes for a fabulous visit -- and since $330 was the most I had ever paid for a 1-hour session, I fully expected a fabulous visit. I specified in my first text that I was interested in a GFE session with lots of DFK. It was only after I paid $330 for the hour visit that she told me she never kisses. Massage at the beginning, CBJ and FS were OK but not inspired and there was no offer of cuddling after. My $330 hour lasted precisely 36 minutes. If she had dealt with me honestly and informed me that she does not kiss (after I specifically mentioned I was interested in lots of DFK) and that she does not offer a GFE service, or better yet, mentioned her restrictions on her website, I wouldn’t have booked with her. In terms of value received for amount paid, this was my worst experience ever. I might be sounding harsh here, but based on my experience with her I think she’s a fraud.

39. ElissaMarie (now known as Sasha Amada) - I was very attracted by her hot photos (face obscured) on BP and her website. In person she’s a HUGE disappointment. Not attractive and totally passive. Paid for an hour and left after less than 20 minutes. Felt ripped off.

40. Victoria Banks - She’s very beautiful but very strange. She goes from welcoming to hostile suddenly, without warning and without reason. I tried making some small talk when I arrived. "I’m not your fucking therapist, I’m just here to make you cum," she said in a nasty tone of voice. Paid for an hour and was also out of there in less than 20 feeling ripped off.

 

[RockNRollMachin]

Would be nice if you had linked their add and phone number since some of these names are really generic. Otherwise, that's a lot of review material. Thanks!

 

[brian44]

Isn’t it Miss Kathryn?

 

[Bbw hunter]

Nice but what is an "Italian" finish ( re Vera)? Did you pour pasta sauce over her tits or what?

 

[downbound123]

I believe it is like a russian finish only you are using her but crack and you shoot all over her back. I am sure someone will correct me if I am wrong.

 

[implied69]

15. Molly – So much better in her new incall than at Body Basic. Truly excellent.

Can you provide details of Molly please

 

[Theredmilf]

So, I appreciate being mentioned here positively but with very mixed feelings.

I dislike the notion of rankings. It’s very subjective what you experienced w a provider. And your personal tastes aren’t universal. Is this someone who saw me once or 10x? And when you talk about a lady being “responsive”. What does that even mean? Responsive to who? To what touch? Or are you saying all women are wired the same & should respond to how YOU touch them? What?! Sorry but no one gets the self-proclaimed Pussy Whisperer title. Maybe you don’t know how to make ALL of us moan?

Also, I know Alexa personally & this review of her is false. Firstly YMMV as all know. Did this gent smoke? Use mouthwash? Or maybe kisses were an assault on her tonsils? We weren’t there. $300+Hr is actually pretty average for an upscale professional. And some of the ladies in this list are the same or more which suggests this reviewer doesn’t see many really reputable professional providers or only takes their hh when offered. I hate to call BS but there’s definitely some or all in Alexa’s review. She is DDG, very upscale & probably just jives better w respectful generous clients, who doesn’t?!

Overall the lingering feeling I have is apprehension about who I see. I want to meet my guys and have an amazing, mind-blowing organic experience, not a mechanical “performance” for rankings. And so more and more I just wish to avoid clients who might be seeing me for this purpose.

Sadly, if you’re El Kabong I appreciate your credits but don’t really wish to reconnect. Especially as you trashed a fellow provider who I know is actually a gorgeous, amazing sweetheart. I feel guys with a great attitude get a great session. I hope you will respect this boundary so I can relax with others. I don’t want to change being me and giving my full passion because I feel I might be audited.

Hugs,
Ruby (formerly Amber) The Red MILF

 

[RockNRollMachin]

@The red milf : And your point is ?

This forum sole purpose is to review SP/MA.

Though I agree with you that your job is very YMMV and that one's experience may differ greatly from another. But with multiple reviews from multiple users, we can get a better picture of the quality of services provided by a SP/MA.

 

[SweetAlexaD]

Again:
I may also sound harsh here but based on a couple of bad reviews, I've had many more positive and beyond warm and memorable experiences with the other 98% of my clients. As well, if after one uses mouth wash and their breathe still isn't fresh, I won't enjoy kissing that person. As well, if someone's dimeanor makes me uncomfortable then chances are it will reflect in the overall mood of the session. I'm sure many clients I've seen can attest to the fact that I'm very easy going so it does take alot to make me uncomfortable. Just had to add to this...thanks for taking the time to read.

 

[El Kabong]

So, I appreciate being mentioned here positively but with very mixed feelings.

I dislike the notion of rankings. It’s very subjective what you experienced w a provider. And your personal tastes aren’t universal. Is this someone who saw me once or 10x? And when you talk about a lady being “responsive”. What does that even mean? Responsive to who? To what touch? Or are you saying all women are wired the same & should respond to how YOU touch them? What?! Sorry but no one gets the self-proclaimed Pussy Whisperer title. Maybe you don’t know how to make ALL of us moan?

Also, I know Alexa personally & this review of her is false. Firstly YMMV as all know. Did this gent smoke? Use mouthwash? Or maybe kisses were an assault on her tonsils? We weren’t there. $300+Hr is actually pretty average for an upscale professional. And some of the ladies in this list are the same or more which suggests this reviewer doesn’t see many really reputable professional providers or only takes their hh when offered. I hate to call BS but there’s definitely some or all in Alexa’s review. She is DDG, very upscale & probably just jives better w respectful generous clients, who doesn’t?!

Overall the lingering feeling I have is apprehension about who I see. I want to meet my guys and have an amazing, mind-blowing organic experience, not a mechanical “performance” for rankings. And so more and more I just wish to avoid clients who might be seeing me for this purpose.

Sadly, if you’re El Kabong I appreciate your credits but don’t really wish to reconnect. Especially as you trashed a fellow provider who I know is actually a gorgeous, amazing sweetheart. I feel guys with a great attitude get a great session. I hope you will respect this boundary so I can relax with others. I don’t want to change being me and giving my full passion because I feel I might be audited.

Hugs,
Ruby (formerly Amber) The Red MILF

Hi Ruby,

Just for the record, I have seen you four times, twice before seeing Alexa and twice since. All four of my sessions with you have been excellent.

Just for the record, I am a non-smoker, and always arrive freshly showered, with teeth brushed and having used mouthwash.

A scroll through the El Kabong reports reveals many more good or OK experiences than bad ones.

Btw, Ruby, I have noticed quotes from El Kabong reports on your website.

 

[Theredmilf]

My point is that, with all due respect, I think it’s time to consider retiring this approach as I think it adds little value to the community and just creates more confusion & adversity. I will be removing links to this from my website when I get back from touring.

Other review threads are a compilation of various opinions, so more balanced. They have dates attached and we can know the reputation of the poster to put their perspectives in context. Many of the rankings above are based on sessions from literally years ago and so no longer relevant as a point of comparison to others.

I get doing this as a food or movie critic, fields with a discipline & credentials. But I think personal reviews are better placed where they belong, among a collection of other equally subjective opinions.

I hope clients will see Alexa’s review here for what it is, one client’s experience with no greater weight than any other’s, and an outlier among many other great reviews.

I’m glad you had a great time with me but don’t wish to be ranked nor to see clients who are coming for that purpose. Let’s do better by treating one another with more mutual respect.

 

[El Kabong]

Just curious, Ruby, where are all of the "many other great reviews" of Alexa to which you refer? I've searched Terb's Ottawa section and on Lyla.com and all I could find was an info thread in the 411 section that didn't include an actual review.

 

[Inara]

It took me less than 5 mins to find a couple of snippets from reviews of her, that were positive. I’ve never met or even spoken to Alexa, so I can’t personally vouch for her but the search feature works.

Aside from that, I agree with Ruby, the ranking is a little tacky. Did you also have MySpace top friends list?

 

[keats]

I can see both points. Ultimately I think Kabong is entitled to post what he wants so long as it's within forum rules, and Ruby's entitled to object and point out why. And I see a pretty much polite and respectful discussion around it.

Speaking for myself I always like more information. I do consider that each person reviewing could have a different experience for any number of reasons.

The answer isn't to quash his negative review, but for people who've had good experiences to share those so it's apparent that it's likely not the norm.

 

[MikeO]

El Kabong's repetitive rehashing of the same report, much of it historical in the distant past, is nothing more than a self-serving ego-enhancing exercise. It was interesting the first few times it came out at which time I found it somewhat informative. I thought long and hard before posting this. This is termed a 'review board'... not a 'ranking competition'. He, as the rest of us, can post anything he wishes to. Fortunately, the other dozens (or hundred) of us don't bore each other by repeatedly rehashing ourselves in the same manner. Phew....said and done. Now go ahead a burn me!!!

 

[Theredmilf]

@red milf, you aren’t making any sense to me. It seems like you’re upset at the report because your friend, Alexa had a poor review and say it provides little to no contribution....

It’s also crazy to me how you can have links to his review on your site, use it when it’s beneficial and against it when it doesn’t go your way. As far the part about comparing services to restaurants and stuff and it not being subjective goes. .. this forum is completely subjective? Not sure what you mean.

To summarize - you’re mad he’s ranking escorts or that he’s reviewing them at all? If it’s a first option how would you propose we compare escorts instead? If it’s the second option, how would you propose we make the best most informed decision?

Well, let me make it crystal then. Reviews are one thing, describing someone as a fraud steps over the line, these comments are libellous. And I don’t want my name lending any more credibility to something I know to be false & that could potentially damage a colleague.

Sometimes YMMV, point finale. And most often there is some basic hygiene, disregard of a providers policies or disrespectful behaviour behind it. Even the most experienced hobbyists sometimes make mistakes and are sometimes blind to their own peccadilloes.

If these reviews were embedded, as they should be, in threads of other reviews, it would paint a much more accurate and balanced picture. Many hobbyists with even broader experience do it this way. Instead the El Kabong report skews and obscures by blinkering only one individual’s very subjective opinions & experiences.

I feel it’s gone far enough, not adding value, and is now causing harm. I’m respectfully asking El Kabong to consider seriously retiring this report in favour of just putting his reviews with the others.

And I’m also asking for respect of my own personal boundaries. If the goal of your visit is to play escort critic, I’m not the girl for you. Reviews are welcome, but I don’t wish to share my bed with a pundit.

I have all love for those in this community who are respectful of one another. My tolerance however for being obtuse, malicious, vengeful, manipulative or deliberately misconstruing runs thinner than the ice you probably don’t want to skate on.

 

[Theredmilf]

I’ve already stated every which way my issue is not with reviews in general & outlined in detail all the reasons why I believe this report does not add value to our community, none of which have to do with my own ranking. By definition I myself benefit from great reviews. In what way is asking a review thread to be retired where I myself am highly rated self-serving? It’s the opposite.

I’m also flagging the harm done by crossing over into libel. No, you cannot say in your experience someone is a fraud or a liar etc and if you do you had better be ready to prove that’s true in court.

I’m not reviewing Alexa, I’m telling you I know her personally and it’s false. She’s not a fraud, but a DDG sweetheart. Likely something went off the rails between these two and now because this list is erroneously given more weight than it deserves, she can be damaged.

I don’t wish to benefit from a review thread that libels and slams another provider unfairly. I don’t wish to be dehumanized in a ranking system.

Beyond self-aggrandizement and trying to pit providers against one another, I don’t see the point of this. In fact, all it does is alienate many of those very providers you might hope to see.

This type of exercise is creating gross animosity and is misguided. Do we really need a version 14? I for one would like to stop blocking clients who I think might be El Kabong.

 

[source]

Your paragraph 2, 3, 4: but his wording on Alexa’s review was very much fair, - he said “based on my experience I think she is a fraud”, note “ experience”, “I think”.

This reminds me of an old joke where the defense attorney, completely unsatisfied with the judge's ruling, had this dialogue before the session was rised:

[Attorney] Your honor, what would you do if I called you an idiot?
[Judge] I'd slam you in for 30 days for contempt of court!
[Attorney] What if I silently thought you're an idiot?
[Judge] You can darn think whatever you want.
[Attorney] Well your honor, in all due respect, I think you're an idiot.


El Kabong, in his so-called report, just by using the word 'fraud', no matter how well he dampered and cosmeticised the text with 'I think' and 'based on my experience', did the damage. The word 'fraud' gets the attention.

I feel it’s gone far enough, not adding value, and is now causing harm. I’m respectfully asking El Kabong to consider seriously retiring this report in favour of just putting his reviews with the others.

What if every member here starts his own rating cards for the ladies he's seen? Could you imagine the matrix if intel spread all over the place? How long it would take to put all the available info together before making a decision to go or not go? The objective of this board is to be efficient: "One Lady, One Thread".

It's may or may not be intentional, but an individual report like turns out to be a good way for a client member to publicly boast how many and which Ladies he's seen.

For the record, I have never seen Ruby or Alexa.

 

[El Kabong]

I for one would like to stop blocking clients who I think might be El Kabong.

Good luck with that. I have never revealed to you or to any SP or MA that I am El Kabong or used the possibility of a good or bad ranking on the El Kabong Report to influence the service I receive (and, if you read through the report there have been many more great sessions than the odd bad one). Also, I always leave a delay of between 1 and 3 months after seeing a lady before adding her to the El Kabong Report so that no conclusions are drawn as to who I am. Finally, most of my sessions are repeats with ladies who rank high on the report. I have seen you, for example on multiple occasions and have never mentioned El Kabong or TERB to you (or to any other lady).

 

[Capital Amatuer]

Good luck with that. I have never revealed to you or to any SP or MA that I am El Kabong or used the possibility of a good or bad ranking on the El Kabong Report to influence the service I receive (and, if you read through the report there have been many more great sessions than the odd bad one). Also, I always leave a delay of between 1 and 3 months after seeing a lady before adding her to the El Kabong Report so that no conclusions are drawn as to who I am. Finally, most of my sessions are repeats with ladies who rank high on the report. I have seen you, for example on multiple occasions and have never mentioned El Kabong or TERB to you (or to any other lady).

That's the way way to stay anonymous and retain all the freedoms of anonymity on a bulletin board. Feel free to speak your mind without being censored or suffering consequences.

Because El Kabong's comments seem rather neutral and genereic, it never occurred to me the numbers were a rank. I thought the numbers just organized his list, and by default probably chronological. If I visited the same ladies, my order would likely be different. And it's okay, it's what makes us individuals.

What I appreciate most from TERB and it's members are the warnings of iffy or dangerous situations where's there's the potential to suffer harm.