Etc.
Is there anything that hasn't already been said in this thread?
Hi, I'm Ned. I met Thread at Club-Med on a mo-ped. That night, Thread led me to her bed and gave me incredible head. Shortly thereafter, Thread and I wed. Thread made sure I was well fed, including real cheddar cheese instead of Cheese-Whiz on my bread. When she was naughty, I took Thread back to the shed (behind the sled) and spanked her ass until it was red. Someone named Ted spread a dreadful rumor that Thread was dead. I wanted to fill this Ed-guy with lead, but Thread pled that I forgive him instead.
Enough said. I need to ged a life.