TRIVIA!........Why are italians refered to as WOPs? (no disrespect intended)

[Doctor Zoidburg]

Hey, don't get mad at me...........a Sicilian told it to me!

How do you make an Italian girl pregnant?......................You jerk off into her sox and the flies will do the rest!


There were 2 Italian labourers (Mario and Tony) digging a ditch on Young street in the 1940s. Everyday they see this rich guy drive by in his nice car and go into an office bulding. Tony ask Mario: Hey Mario! Why da rich guy work in da nice office and we have to digga dis ditch, outside in da hot sun???Mario sais: I don know Tony! I go anda ask him. So Mario goes into the office building and finds the rich guy and sais. Hey, rich mister! Why you come every day in your nicea car and you work in dis nicea office, we see you in da window and you make a few phona calls, drinka some nicea coffee and you sign a few papers and you go to lunch! You don come back till 4 o'clock and den you leave at 5 o'clock in your nicea car, and we have to work outa side in da hot sun! Why can'ta we work inside like you?
The rich guy sais: Its a secret why I work inside and you have to work outside, come with me and I will tell you the secret. So the rich guy takes Mario into the back alley and stand agaist a brick wall. He holds up his open hand flat against the wall and sais: Hit my hand as hard as you can! So, Mario tries to hit the rich guys hand, but the rich guy takes his hand away at the last second and Mario smashes his hand against the brick wall. Marios hand is bleeding and he is shaking his hand to relieve the pain. The rich guy sais: Thats why I work inside and you work outside! Mario responds: OK, OK, tank you, tank you!
Upon returning to Tony outside he is quite silent, Tony presses him for an answer: So, Mario Did da rich guy tell you why we work outside an he works inside??? Mario sais: No, Tony i don tell you itsa secret! Tony sais: come on Mario we are Pysans tell me I don tell no one! Mario sais: OK, I tell you da secret, but you tell no one ,OK! Then Mario sais:Tony I tell you why we worka outside and he worka inside. Mario then holds his open hand in front of his face and sais: Tony, take your shovel and hitta my hand as hard as you can!

 

[baci2004]

IROC-Z (camaro)

Italian Retards Out Cruz'in

 

[n_v]

LMAO, I heard the one about the shortest book. the others are great, yours too anon.

How do you kill 400,000 Italians?


Plant Dandy Lions on the 401.

LMAO. I am not Italian but that is funny.

 

[wop]

http://www.humorsphere.com/humor/italian_jokes.htm

Francis and Isabella were having their usual battle of the sexes.

"Italian men are all stupid," screamed Isabella

"Oh, yeah?" yelled her husband. "I'll have you know it was an Italian man who invented the toilet seat!"

"And I'll have you know," said his wife, "it was an Italian woman who thought of putting a hole in it!"

 

[Geminixoxo]

I hope this offends no one...

why do italian men wear chains on their necks.....


So they know where to stop shaving

you can make fun of arabs now, you have my permission

 

[baci2004]

I hope this offends no one...

why do italian men wear chains on their necks.....


So they know where to stop shaving

you can make fun of arabs now, you have my permission

LMAO!!

I hope this offends no one...

why do Arabic men wear chains on their necks.....


So they know where to stop shaving

 

[Geminixoxo]

lol.......................that's i've never dated an arab! how do explain italians??

 

[blitz]

Did you know that an italian woman invented velco?

Yep, she tried to pull off her wool sweater and it got stuck on her mustache!













That didn't feel very good but this thread has made me laugh. The dandelion joke was very funny.

 

[wop]

http://www.markthispot.com/jokes/italian.htm

This one kills me...
Q. How does an Italian get into an honest business?
A. Usually through the skylight.

And just so that the other ethnics can join in...
Q. What do you get when you cross an Italian and a Pollack?
A. A guy who makes you an offer you can t understand.

 

[anon1]

Not specificaly Italian but at least Roman Catholic.

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

 

[baci2004]

Re: http://www.markthispot.com/jokes/italian.htm

This one kills me...
Q. How does an Italian get into an honest business?
A. Usually through the skylight.

And just so that the other ethnics can join in...
Q. What do you get when you cross an Italian and a Pollack?
A. A guy who makes you an offer you can t understand.

ROTFLMAO!!!

Wop - I think we should print this thread before we lose it.

</Anon1 secures a throne in hell>

 

[stang]

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
''Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a-more.''

''You foul-mouthed swine,'' retorted the lady indignantly. ''In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public.''

''Hey, wassa matta lady?,'' said the man. ''Imma just tella my friend howa to spella Mississippi.''

 

[baci2004]

I dunno if you guys will find this funny or not. Try and picture an old timer telling this one.

Mario's brother Frank arrives from Italy, he can't speak a word of English. Frank informs Mario that he went hungry at lunch because he couldn't place his order at the restaurant in English.
Mario replys justa say apple pie and coffee. Frank does this without any problems. After a couple weeks Frank tells Mario that he is tired of eating apple pie and coffee. So Mario says... now say toast and coffee. The following day at the restaurant the waitress says what would you like today? Frank says toast and coffee. The waitress says white or brown? Frank says apple pie and coffee.

 

[Camielle]

Its so true

LMAO, I heard the one about the shortest book. the others are great, yours too anon.

How do you kill 400,000 Italians?


Plant Dandy Lions on the 401.

You might have to be Italian to get that one.

OMG...
It was dandylions I ate at Frankie's...lol...And to think I didn't beleive him

....SOB...

 

[Camielle]

I THINK THIS IS HOW IT GOES!

Mario and his dad Frankie go into a resteraunt and his father says to the waitress this is a-my-a-son Mario with the -big-a-fucin-head (and cuffs him on the back of the head) so he says to her bring me a grupa and a expresso for my son Mario with the big-a-fucin-head (and gives him another cuff on the back of the head)...so she does. So they stay for a while and the father keeps ordering and saying "for my-a son-a Mario with-the-big-a-fucin-head and giving Mario a cuff on the back of the head everytime. So then the waitress says to Frankie the father why are you always saying my-son-a Mario with the-big-a-fucin-head and hitting him on the back of the head. So Frankie says ya-see-when-Ia-meta-my-wifea-she-hada-nice-little-a-waista-like-a-ths-a-...and nice-a-perky-a-titas-like-this -and-a- nice-a-little-a-tight-a-pussie-lika-yours-a...and then-a-came-a-Mario-with-the-bigga-fucin-HEAD!

 

[wop]

I think...therefore

An Englishman, an American and a Italian are called upon to test a lie detector .
The Englishman says: "I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer".
BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
"Ok", he says, "10 bottles".
And the machine is silent.
The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers".
BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.
"All right, 8 hamburgers".
And the machine's silent.
The Italian says: "I think...", BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.

 

[wop]

"Hello" Says a little girl's voice.

"Hi, honey, it's Daddy, "Says Bob. "Is Mommy near the phone?"

"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank."

After a brief pause, Bob says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!"

"Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"

"Okay, then. Here's what I want you to do. Put down the phone, run

upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy and Uncle

Frank that my car's just pulled up outside the house."

"Okay, Daddy!" A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone.

"Well, I did what you said, Daddy." "And what happened?"

"Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around

screaming, then she tripped over the rug and fell down the steps and

she's just lying there. Her neck is at a funny angle. I think she's dead."

"Oh my god... And what about Uncle Frank?"

"He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too and he was all scared and

he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool, but he must have

forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he

hit the bottom of the swimming pool and is just lying there, not moving.

He may be dead too." There is a long pause, then Bob says, "Swimming pool?"

Is this 854-7039?"

 

[baci2004]

This guys spots an Italian man with his horse, introduces himself and asks about the horse. The Italian man replies "the horse..she no look so good". I think the horse looks great, how 'bout I give you $1000 for her? I tell you the horse..she no look so good. Well I think she looks fine here is a $1000 take it or leave it. The Italian man accepts and the other man leaves with the horse. The next day the man shows up and says I want my money back this fucking horse is blind!!! I told you, the horse...she no look so good.

 

[Girth]

A Chinese couple is lying in bed and the husband asks the wife for some "69"

She replies "Why do you want beef with broccoli now?"