What did I do wrong? Industry related rant

[Jenesis]

I had a client I had seen once, ask to see him again. He wanted a certain type of kink for the second visit and I’m just not comfortable with it and therefore decline this and future visits from this man.

I gave him the link to TERB and told him what section to search to find exactly what he was looking for and wished him luck.

Now I’m being told I’m “kink-shaming”. Like WTF???? What did I do wrong?

I wrote back explaining that declining professionally and giving him a way to find exactly what he is looking for is not kink-shaming but what else could I have done?

This is why women just ghost and block. We are damned either way.

/rant

 

[Shaquille Oatmeal]

I think declining any future visits from this client, may have been taken as kink shaming.
That you were so repulsed by it and therefore did not want to see him at all going forward even for a regular session.

 

[squeezer]

I think declining any future visits from this client, may have been taken as kink shaming.
That you were so repulsed by it and therefore did not want to see him at all going forward even for a regular session.

I was going to say the same thing. I don't believe turning down the service was the issue; it was refusing future appointments.

I am so damn curious, what was the kink??? Must have been a doozy.

I get it though because if I see a review of a SP rimming a dude, I will never book her. She can be a 10 but she is off my list.

 

[Jenesis]

I think declining any future visits from this client, may have been taken as kink shaming.
That you were so repulsed by it and therefore did not want to see him at all going forward even for a regular session.

I can see that but the problem is, a regular session for him would partly involved the kink in his mind. There is a "role-play" aspect that he can just silently play out in his head and I am not comfortable entertaining that. So it is a catch 22 so to speak.

This is not like not being comfortable with foot fetish and just having a normal session. It is a little hard to explain without going into detail of the kink.

However, I gave him the resources to find what he was looking for. So if I was shaming him, why would I do that?

 

[Shaquille Oatmeal]

It is a little hard to explain without going into detail of the kink.

DDLG?
Mommy/Boy?
Now am curious. lmao.

I get it though because if I see a review of a SP rimming a dude, I will never book her. She can be a 10 but she is off my list.

Can I have all the providers on your "not to book" list? lmao.

 

[Fred Flinstone]

I can see that but the problem is, a regular session for him would partly involved the kink in his mind. There is a "role-play" aspect that he can just silently play out in his head and I am not comfortable entertaining that. So it is a catch 22 so to speak.

This is not like not being comfortable with foot fetish and just having a normal session. It is a little hard to explain without going into detail of the kink.

However, I gave him the resources to find what he was looking for. So if I was shaming him, why would I do that?

In my mind, he's just butt hurt because he didn't get what he wanted from someone he assumed would do his bidding because of an exchange of funds.. There's much more at play here, and none of it has anything to do with you, just his ego...

 

[Forzafonz]

1. Working in a large corporation, providing reports to VPs and AVPs i was told many times: don't give information you weren't asked. You should have just told: "I don't provide this service/kink".
2. Without knowing exact kink, it's hard to justify a total block. But if it was an actual kink, then i feel like it was too much.
3. You complain how it's a lose/lose situation for women, but a guy simply asked over the text and got blocked just for asking (again, depends on kink - but i don't consider bbfs a kink). Lose/lose for men as well, it seems like.

 

[Robert Mugabe]

I had a client I had seen once, ask to see him again. He wanted a certain type of kink for the second visit and I’m just not comfortable with it and therefore decline this and future visits from this man.

I gave him the link to TERB and told him what section to search to find exactly what he was looking for and wished him luck.

Now I’m being told I’m “kink-shaming”. Like WTF???? What did I do wrong?

I wrote back explaining that declining professionally and giving him a way to find exactly what he is looking for is not kink-shaming but what else could I have done?

This is why women just ghost and block. We are damned either way.

/rant

BBBJ?

 

[Jenesis]

1. Working in a large corporation, providing reports to VPs and AVPs i was told many times: don't give information you weren't asked. You should have just told: "I don't provide this service/kink".
2. Without knowing exact kink, it's hard to justify a total block. But if it was an actual kink, then i feel like it was too much.
3. You complain how it's a lose/lose situation for women, but a guy simply asked over the text and got blocked just for asking (again, depends on kink - but i don't consider bbfs a kink). Lose/lose for men as well, it seems like.

I will block you if you ask for BBFS too. I'm not comfortable with it. Period. I'm not taking the risk of being stealthed during an appointment because someone wants BBFS. I'm not taking an appointment where I have to constantly be on my guard. I'm not taking the extra safety risk that comes with people who engage in BBFS. So I decline and block.

We have the right to decline services. Just because you have money doesn't mean you are entitled to our bodies. You have the option to go find someone else, but I'm being called things by a ticked off person for exercising my right to refuse.

I should have just told him I don’t offer the service but we were in the middle of an appointment booking and I had no intentions of seeing him after this request so I had to tell him that. Otherwise, as I said, this is why most women just ghost and block. Because some guys can’t handle being told no apparently

 

[Jenesis]

DDLG?
Mommy/Boy?
Now am curious. lmao.

Can I have all the providers on your "not to book" list? lmao.

What is DDLG? I thought I knew them all. LOL

 

[onomatopoeia]

I am so damn curious, what was the kink??? Must have been a doozy.

 

[IFUSEEKAMY]

I think you did the best you could and he simply perceived it differently. It may have nothing to do with what you said but perhaps past occurrences in his life. IMO you probably went above and beyond as that is your generous helpful nature. Heck, maybe his true kink is in “being shamed” for having it

 

[Forzafonz]

I will block you if you ask for BBFS too. I'm not comfortable with it. Period. I'm not taking the risk of being stealthed during an appointment because someone wants BBFS. I'm not taking an appointment where I have to constantly be on my guard. I'm not taking the extra safety risk that comes with people who engage in BBFS. So I decline and block.

We have the right to decline services. Just because you have money doesn't mean you are entitled to our bodies. You have the option to go find someone else, but I'm being called things by a ticked off person for exercising my right to refuse.

Are you ok? Seriously. I am just saying that BBFS is not a kink. I have never in my life had unprotected sex, and i totally agree that asking for BBFS justify full block.

 

[Jenesis]

She's allow to ghost or block any regular clients or future ones if she pleases even based on a text if she finds it comes across a certain way even though it perhaps wasn't meant to like that. No different than in person when a private business can deny you service and such based on your attitude. Don't like it? Too bad.

That is what I should have done. Just ignored him and blocked him but being professional, I thought telling him he was declined and giving him the resources to find what he wants was the better option. Clearly I was wrong.

 

[Jenesis]

Are you ok? Seriously. I am just saying that BBFS is not a kink. I have never in my life had unprotected sex, and i totally agree that asking for BBFS justify full block.

I didn’t say it was. I said it was another thing I would decline and block for. I also never said that the guy asked for bbfs. That was not what he was asking for.

but how are you saying it justifies a block when you said it is a lose/lose for a guy.

 

[Forzafonz]

but how are you saying it justifies a block when you said it is a lose/lose for a guy.

lose/lose for a guy to ask about kink over the text. Yes.

If you re-read what i wrote i specifically stated that i don't consider BBFS to be a kink, to disqualify it from my statement.

 

[Shaquille Oatmeal]

What is DDLG? I thought I knew them all. LOL

Daddy Dom, Little Girl.

 

[Jenesis]

lose/lose for a guy to ask about kink over the text. Yes.

If you re-read what i wrote i specifically stated that i don't consider BBFS to be a kink, to disqualify it from my statement.

Yeah sorry but you are making no sense to me.

 

[Jenesis]

Daddy Dom, Little Girl.

Oh. Yeah that would be on my no-go list too. But I think I'm a little old to be asked for that one. LOL.

 

[Forzafonz]

eah sorry but you are making no sense to me.

What doesn't make sense to you?