What if your SO was doing what you are?

[OnTheWayOut]

Another thread raises the interesting question of how we would react if your partner was getting some on the side, like you are. We'll direct this to guys so the answers would be regarding their women. Sorry gays, start your own poll. SPs, same for you in this case. *lol*

For the purpose of this poll we will assume it's she's not doing it for emotional gratification, it's purely for sex. Maybe she's been on Quest or POF advertising for some NSA sex and you found evidence she's hooked up. Maybe she's gotten caught at work getting pounded in a storage closet. Somehow she's slipped up and you are sure she's been getting some strange dick. For the sake of argument she's doing it for the exact same reasons you are.

What do you do?

 

[mightypen_ottawa]

None of the above. My reaction would be:

Stop and examine together the problems with the relationship, and decide whether a) it can be repaired, b) whether it should continue with both of us finding sex on the side, or c) whether it should be abandoned.

My own occasional "hobbying" makes sense to me because I'm sure what I'm seeking falls outside the available bounds of my current relationship. But if I discovered that my partner was doing the same thing, I would be wrong. That would completely change the landscape.

 

[Kubrickfan]

+1 to mightypen ... that approach makes a lot of sense to me.

 

[teejayo]

+1 to mightypen ... that approach makes a lot of sense to me.

I agree as well. Judging from the number of married women on POF looking for a discreet intimate encounter, it's not at all unlikely that our SO's may be apt to stray if not satisfied, just like us. I think it's easier for men to contact pros to meet our needs than it is for women. Otherwise, I'll bet there would be a lot more women 'hobbyists'.

Personally, I'd be delighted to find out that she actually had some libido left in the old body. I could work with that..

 

[antlerman]

Slurp.....When did you get serious.....????

Wow...very "deep" for you man........

I am with Pen so far.....

 

[OnTheWayOut]

*sigh*

and I was attempting to inject humour into this serious poll ..... another miserable failure

 

[Bluenose]

I guess it depends on whether she was taking one for the team or just taking the team.

 

[emb3750]

What is "POF"?

 

[GlavaMan]

Pleanty of Fish...on-line dating site.

 

[VelvetCyclone]

To the 21 that said "kick her to the curb"....

How do you justify the hypocrisy? Why isn't what's good for the goose good for the gander?

 

[softtouch99]

It's fun to watch the poll evolve the way things have been for centuries.

We males have spent enormous time and energy evolving the strongest and longest lasting DOUBLE STANDARD in human history.

Hey, I'm right there voting to kick them out, all the time knowing their transgressions pale in comparison to ours. We love to pretend that WE males have evolved so much and we have but not in all ways.
I love the way that forthright communications is taking a back seat but not , "wait a minute, what about a threesome?"

Signed ST99, Hypocrite,

 

[Y Hunter]

From my economic standpoint, 3some is the only choice to minimize the degree of not-having-enough-pussies. Plus you gain more unique experience.

 

[Catherine St.Claire]

As long as she wasn't paying for it, I'd be ok. If she was spending our retirement, I would bring her to work with me and ...

Catherine

 

[trax]

I'd do what she would do - kick my ass out

 

[fart]

fairness

To the 21 that said "kick her to the curb"....

How do you justify the hypocrisy? Why isn't what's good for the goose good for the gander?

It is only hypocrisy when you get caught...

 

[rep_pot]

Men are about variety and the conquest. Women are about security and family. That is a general statement, so I don't want to hear about the one guy you found who likes to stay home with the kids. That's BS. I would have to shrug it off as payback for what I was doing.

 

[amber-jade]

he does, and i know about it...i do and he knows about it...


in the poll...i notice alot of votes to maybe try the ''swinger'' scene,
thou it is true , that...
couples who play together...stay together...

i have a question for the guys that voted that way...


... do you think you would be able to see your lady having sex with another man,
and be able to deal with the ''very real'' mix of emotions that are associated with it ??



.

 

[blackram]

I'd love to do the swinging scene, but I know it's a no-go from the SO.

 

[compactdisc]

Nice poll, slurp...very creative options.

 

[JoyfulC]

If my SO was doing what I was, we'd have a lot more money to pay bills with every month!!!!

People have often asked me, "well, what if your husband did this?" To which my response is always, "get paid to spend pleasant time with members of the opposite sex? Where can we sign up??"

..c..