what is your most awkward .....

[sweetiepieexo]

Question for the gents... Ladies feel free to chime in too. Don't be shy !LOL


what is your most awkward sexual experience? Doesn't have to be with an sp.. Could be any experience that you had.


Mine was when I had a session and my phone kept vibrating and the clients kept ringing lmao.. Every five -10 mins he would get up and be like sorry, sorry. its my girlfriend ! LMAO . I was like ummm, can you put her on vibrate because shes interrupting us ! He thought it was hilarious and started laughing. ! it was too too funny ;but extremely awkward.

 

[Mr Bret]

First ever massage about a hundred years ago, before I knew about review boards.
Honestly did not expect a happy ending, didn't even know that was a thing.
Blew my load while still face down and without any real attempt on her part.

Another time, not long after that when I had kind of figured out how things work, encountered a very attractive MPA.
I lasted about 30 seconds after she undressed and touched my sensitive bits.


One time with a MPA I used to see every week, we did our usual thing and as I was leaving, she kind of blocked the door so as no to let me pass.
She gave me a couple of flirty kisses, a few soft caresses, and a pouty look in the eyes.
I followed her lead, but she backed away, yet still blocked the door.
Mixed signals.
I asked her if everything was ok.
She replied by asking me if everything was ok.
Now I'm confused.
Then she said - I'm shy to ask, but are you going to tip me today?
I had somehow completely forgotten to tip her and I always tipped her well.
This was in the days when door fees and in room fees were completely separate.

Yes, awkward.

 

[sweetiepieexo]

lmaooo hahaha awkward... so in the end she was only pouting because she wanted you to tip her?!?!?! lmao. omgg. hahahaha .


Come on gents & ladies ! Don't be shy !

First ever massage about a hundred years ago, before I knew about review boards.
Honestly did not expect a happy ending, didn't even know that was a thing.
Blew my load while still face down and without any real attempt on her part.

Another time, not long after that when I had kind of figured out how things work, encountered a very attractive MPA.
I lasted about 30 seconds after she undressed and touched my sensitive bits.


One time with a MPA I used to see every week, we did our usual thing and as I was leaving, she kind of blocked the door so as no to let me pass.
She gave me a couple of flirty kisses, a few soft caresses, and a pouty look in the eyes.
I followed her lead, but she backed away, yet still blocked the door.
Mixed signals.
I asked her if everything was ok.
She replied by asking me if everything was ok.
Now I'm confused.
Then she said - I'm shy to ask, but are you going to tip me today?
I had somehow completely forgotten to tip her and I always tipped her well.
This was in the days when door fees and in room fees were completely separate.

Yes, awkward.

 

[shai]

This maybe the funniest & kinda of awkward.

I was about to start with my lady and she said "I aim to please, so please aim!"

I fell off the bed laughing so hard.

 

[Phil C. McNasty]

Not a sexual experience, but funny nonetheless.

So I was out in Scarborough to pick up some furniture. I rarely venture out to the east-end so I dont know the area very well. I suddenly got a bout of horniness when I noticed a strip mall that had 2 massage signs outside. So I figured I'll go for a quick rub before I drive back home.

So I walk into the first massage parlour, I asked an older looking woman sitting at the front desk if I could see which girls are available. she gives me the dirtiest look on the planet and tells me this is NOT an adult massage place. So I asked if the other massage parlour is adult and she points her finger at me giving an even more dirtier look and says "YOU SHOULD KNOW"!!!

I couldnt stop laughing all the way back home
I did wind up getting my massage at the 2nd place btw

 

[sweetiepieexo]

LMAOOOO that is hilarious !

This maybe the funniest & kinda of awkward.

I was about to start with my lady and she said "I aim to please, so please aim!"

I fell off the bed laughing so hard.

 

[sweetiepieexo]

ohhhh mannnnn awkward ! hahahha damn. that's crazy ... Thank god you got your massage though

Not a sexual experience, but funny nonetheless.

So I was out in Scarborough to pick up some furniture. I rarely venture out to the east-end so I dont know the area very well. I suddenly got a bout of horniness when I noticed a strip mall that had 2 massage signs outside. So I figured I'll go for a quick rub before I drive back home.

So I walk into the first massage parlour, I asked an older looking woman sitting at the front desk if I could see which girls are available. she gives me the dirtiest look on the planet and tells me this is NOT an adult massage place. So I asked if the other massage parlour is adult and she points her finger at me giving an even more dirtier look and says "YOU SHOULD KNOW"!!!

I couldnt stop laughing all the way back home
I did wind up getting my massage at the 2nd place btw

 

[lucky lucas]

2 good incidents at massage parlours way way back.

1- go to shaddy MP ($40) for massage, hot and young attendant is feeling really horny and wants to fuck, we fuck and take much longer than our 30 minutes. Boss lady was even knocking on door. Then MP attendant tells me she is dating boss lady's son and they got into an argument. I leave with huge smile in my face and could hear boss lady and attendant arguing. Decide to go back week later, call and I'm told to come over. Once there, boss lady tells me she remembers me and knows what happened and to not return (

2- go to MP by Bay/Elm had Hot Tub option for $60 (originally planing to spend $40 for regular massage and only had $60) in the tub mature petite cutie MP attendant and I start touching, exploring, DFK, she tells me she's horny. We dry off and continue playing on massage table, complete full service with Greek. Had an amazing time, pay my $60 and attendant tells me it's $100 for the extra. I tell her how sorry I am and will go get money at ATM, she tells me not to worry cause boyfriend is waiting outside in lobby, they are going out. I went back twice looking for her with the extra $$$ but she moved on (

LL

 

[SuperCharge]

I had a girl who used to pass right the fuck out when she had an orgasm. Literally lights out. First time It happened I thought I killed her

 

[wellhungone]

I was seeing a girl that worked as a waitress in a downtown club. She had a room mate. So one night I pick her up and we go back to her place and her room mate is out. We are in her room having fun. At one point, I get up to go get something from the kitchen. I didnt think her room mate came home. I walk to the fridge grab a bottle of water and start drinking. There is her room mate on the couch watching TV. I am staying there full frontal with it swinging in the wind. Every guys fantasy was that she would ask to join in but nope, she was like puts some close on ! ! !

I thought it was funny.

Two months later, we are at it again. Lights are off in the bedroom and I get up and decide to put on something. Its dark and didnt want to turn the lights on. I am reaching around and grab something. I jumped a mile high, the damn cat was lying on my clothes. It let out a scream, but I think I was louder.

I hated that cat !

 

[lucky lucas]

Another time at incall location, SP with glasses guides me to room, gives me towel and tells me she'll be back in a minute. I shower and lie on bed, door opens, she walks in without her glasses. She's feeling the wall, then the dresser, her shin hits the bed "SHIT" I sit up to help her, her head meets my chin "SHIT" we start making best of it, my hands start exploring, I spread her legs wide and this nasty odor just slaps me in the face. I washed my hands, got changed and left. I notified agency and they tell me she's new and never had any complaints about her, I didn't push any further. 30 minutes fee for an awkward experience.

LL

 

[sweetiepieexo]

Wow that first scenario is killer!
I would have been so embarrassed but at least you got a happy ending!
Second one I think the girl was just being a bitch cuz she realized she fucked up lol! guess she should have waited for her boyfriend huh? I cant stand girls who use lines like that and half the time they just use it as a scare tactic.

Wow good for you though !

2 good incidents at massage parlours way way back.

1- go to shaddy MP ($40) for massage, hot and young attendant is feeling really horny and wants to fuck, we fuck and take much longer than our 30 minutes. Boss lady was even knocking on door. Then MP attendant tells me she is dating boss lady's son and they got into an argument. I leave with huge smile in my face and could hear boss lady and attendant arguing. Decide to go back week later, call and I'm told to come over. Once there, boss lady tells me she remembers me and knows what happened and to not return (

2- go to MP by Bay/Elm had Hot Tub option for $60 (originally planing to spend $40 for regular massage and only had $60) in the tub mature petite cutie MP attendant and I start touching, exploring, DFK, she tells me she's horny. We dry off and continue playing on massage table, complete full service with Greek. Had an amazing time, pay my $60 and attendant tells me it's $100 for the extra. I tell her how sorry I am and will go get money at ATM, she tells me not to worry cause boyfriend is waiting outside in lobby, they are going out. I went back twice looking for her with the extra $$$ but she moved on (

LL

 

[sweetiepieexo]

Lmaoo!

i had a girl who used to pass right the fuck out when she had an orgasm. Literally lights out. First time it happened i thought i killed her

 

[sweetiepieexo]

lmaooo !


wow hahahaha fcken cat hahahha absolutely priceless!

I was seeing a girl that worked as a waitress in a downtown club. She had a room mate. So one night I pick her up and we go back to her place and her room mate is out. We are in her room having fun. At one point, I get up to go get something from the kitchen. I didnt think her room mate came home. I walk to the fridge grab a bottle of water and start drinking. There is her room mate on the couch watching TV. I am staying there full frontal with it swinging in the wind. Every guys fantasy was that she would ask to join in but nope, she was like puts some close on ! ! !

I thought it was funny.

Two months later, we are at it again. Lights are off in the bedroom and I get up and decide to put on something. Its dark and didnt want to turn the lights on. I am reaching around and grab something. I jumped a mile high, the damn cat was lying on my clothes. It let out a scream, but I think I was louder.

I hated that cat !

 

[Indiana]

Oh probably something to do with a spontaneous erection.

 

[sweetiepieexo]

LUCAS ! your killing me with these stories lmao !
hahahahha I can picture that in my head that's the sad part...

ladies, always remember if guys can smell the kitty and it isn't pleasant they will walk out !

Another time at incall location, SP with glasses guides me to room, gives me towel and tells me she'll be back in a minute. I shower and lie on bed, door opens, she walks in without her glasses. She's feeling the wall, then the dresser, her shin hits the bed "SHIT" I sit up to help her, her head meets my chin "SHIT" we start making best of it, my hands start exploring, I spread her legs wide and this nasty odor just slaps me in the face. I washed my hands, got changed and left. I notified agency and they tell me she's new and never had any complaints about her, I didn't push any further. 30 minutes fee for an awkward experience.

LL

 

[sweetiepieexo]

elaborate?

Oh probably something to do with a spontaneous erection.

 

[oakvilleguy]

My first time with a SP I was so nervous that I couldn't perform. Wasted $250 and a $100 room fee

30 some years ago, my GF and I were parked, making out in the back seat of my dad's car. Next thing I know, there're headlights behind us. Then came a knock on the window and flashlight shiny into the car. It was a lady cop doing her rounds and asked if we were ok. Haha. The windows were fogged up and we were putting our clothes back on in a hurry. She told us it was late and sent us on our way.

 

[Phil C. McNasty]

My first time with a SP I was so nervous that I couldn't perform. Wasted $250 and a $100 room fee

30 some years ago, my GF and I were parked, making out in the back seat of my dad's car. Next thing I know, there're headlights behind us. Then came a knock on the window and flashlight shiny into the car. It was a lady cop doing her rounds and asked if we were ok. Haha. The windows were fogged up and we were putting our clothes back on in a hurry. She told us it was late and sent us on our way

A cop told me they have to do that because they don't know if the girls underage, or being held against her will

 

[lucky lucas]

LUCAS ! your killing me with these stories lmao !
hahahahha I can picture that in my head that's the sad part...

ladies, always remember if guys can smell the kitty and it isn't pleasant they will walk out !

Glad you are laughing with me, or is it at me?

There was also that time Indy SP had her puppy (not yet toilet trained) in the bedroom, and I step off bed into pile of puppy poo (

First time with an SP squirting, not knowing she's a squirter and soaks me and bed ( lucky it was not my bed.

Laugh away )

LL