When good clients go bad

[SinnamonFairbanks]

I was gone for about 2 years. I guess it's the equivalent of maybe a girlfriend ghosting them. I did just dissappear and I kept saying I was coming back but mentally I was just not in a place where I could go back.

I did keep saying I was coming back and then I just couldn't. I was diagnosed with PTSD and then went on medication and I went back. They don't know that though they just know their regular disappeared and ghosted them and i guess it sounded like I was making excuses.But I was really trying hard to come back. I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

This did happen occasionally before I left though. I would get the occasional client who was really good and I would see them every week and then they would just... for lack of a better word... f*ck me around and they were such good clients.I let them fuck me around for a lot longer than I should have.

It's just this weird thing that happens and I don't fully understand it. All I know is that these things expire. Most of the time people just move on to someone else but... For some reason people still linger and book appointments. It's almost like they're trying to burn that bridge. To me it feels that way anyway, because if I was kind of sick of someone but wanted to keep them around in case I needed them later I wouldn't make them hate me by booking them and screwing them around.

I don't really care that much. I've made a ton of money off of these people , but i guess I just don't understand what's going through their heads and i'm always really interested in the psychology of things.

Maybe it is as simple as this very shallow narcissist put it. Maybe all they're looking for is narcissistic supply. I guess there's really nothing wrong with that either other than its shallow and selfish. These people didn't strike me as shallow or selfish. They were genuine and I actually really liked them as people. I met a lot of really great people and my regulars were generally peoplen I liked and respected. I wouldn't spend so much time with them if I didn't like them.

Either way, it's run.Its course, it's just frustrating that we have to burn those bridges and I have to close off all contact to get them to stop wasting my time and energy.

Don't get it twisted though. I'm only posting this in between clients. Its not that serious. It's just strange human behavior that I don't fully understand. I would never do that to someone.

I don't make appointments with people I don't intend on seeing and I don't keep in contact with people I don't like. I don't need validation from people so I guess it's just a behaviour I'll never understand.

can you elabroate on this? cant relate to cancelling without being sure im going to book if i reach out again but i am curious what would make a weekly regular turn flaky. how long was the gap in time you were gone for? would they ghost you or just have different reasons to cancel each time

 

[kwestt]

I was gone for about 2 years. I guess it's the equivalent of maybe a girlfriend ghosting them. I did just dissappear and I kept saying I was coming back but mentally I was just not in a place where I could go back.
I did keep saying I was coming back and then I just couldn't. I was diagnosed with PTSD and then went on medication and I went back. They don't know that though they just know their regular disappeared and ghosted them and i guess it sounded like I was making excuses.But I was really trying hard to come back. I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

could just be the gap in time put you lower on their list and things wont be the same

on the flip side, i had an old regular who was always punctual and suddenly began to ghost me day of after double booking. i didnt see her again, i was likely now lower on her list of clients to prioritize and she wasnt professional to begin with so that manifests as ghosting/double booking/wasting my time.

too many factors to determine why this could be happening

 

[Ahri]

There seems to be a natural progression where clients I've seen for years just for lack of a better word... go bad. They expire. Good times are over. Theres no money to be made. They go sour.

Out of respect I answer their messages and I book them knowing they're not going to come through and they cancel or just dont follow through until I eventually block them.

My question is, why do they even bother?

Are they bored? No money? Angry? What?

I only let them waste my time a bit because I've made thousands of dollars off of them but why go sour like that and perpetually waste time?

I let it go on to see how much people are willing to waste my time and one person has been doing it for over a year . I dont even travel to their area anymore.

Its not just one person its several over the years. They just book and dont show up and book and cancel. A person today scheduled me Friday for Sunday and I just acted like I would book them knowing full well I haven't seen them in four years and for four years they go through this routine. Sure enough they canceled but they've gone through the trouble to contact me from different numbers. Its just strange.

If I dont want to book my hairdresser I dont keep contacting my hairdresser or my masseuse on social media and on their work phone. I just find a new hairdresser or masseuse.

What is going through their heads from a man's perspective? Do they want me to throw myself at them? Am I supposed to lay it on thick or what?

"Hey baby, are you ready for me to suck your beautiful massive cock? My pussy is so wet for you!"

Is that what they need to hear or is it just dead and can't be revived and they're just being assholes? Lol

*theyre generally people that booked me weekly, bi weekly or monthly and I did quit for a while and came back. They contact me but never follow through.*

Damn that’s unfortunate to hear but - I can totally relate I had some really good regular clients that over time just became worse and worse.

 

[LTO_3]

Some good points have been made but I'll put my answer another way. When I repeat with an SP it's because of good service, attitude and a connection we've made and I make adjustments when I see those SPs if they acknowledge it's not a good time even if a prebook was made and we adjust our next appointment(s) accordingly. But if missed appointments occur then there's leniency given if a true mistake of oversight occurs. Yes it happens but it's about communication.
If that's not happening in your situation and if there's no communication until the next time, then strongly remind them that they messed up last time and if it happens again you will no longer see them or more bluntly say you will be permanently banned.

LTO_3

 

[KittyCaterina]

My advice is what I would do in this situation:

If a great regular cancels once with more than 4 hours notice and I'm not touring, I let it go and reschedule with him.
Shit happens.

If he cancels again, I require a cancelation fee.

If he refuses the fee, I blacklist him.

If he pays the fee and rebooks me and cancels again he is now required to prepay his visits upon booking.
That way if he cancels, I'm paid.

If he texts me again and refuses to prepay the entire fee, he goes on my blacklist.
______________________________________

I have not personally dealt with great regulars doing this, but have had that type of behaviour from other clients.

I don't block them, I keep their text history and make notes because I have had people change their ways who want to make it up to me and have sent me all money owed for another chance.
If they text me, I let them know I will speak to them once $ is sent to my email and that's it.

Sometimes people are going through something and while I won't tolerate bad behaviour, I don't mind giving someone a chance when the conditions are right and I'm compensated for past cancelations.

 

[KittyCaterina]

She comes across gullible too. But these clients seemed genuinely nice and stuff. It's called being nice and polite to get pussy of course. No different than a SP being really nice to gain funds than moody to someone over text and losing out on money. Maybe some clients like that talk and shit. YMMV. End of the day you got played.

BTW speaking of narcissistics sweetheart what are you saint? I doubt you've never played a client to gain more. Do you also go out of your way to volunteer? Are you out there on the streets feeding all the druggies around Ontario? How many bedrooms do you have your place? Can't you and if you have kids all sleep in one bedroom on a matress like poor people do overseas and rent out your living room to a druggie trying to help them out and let them sleep on your couch? Hypocrite. I bet you're totally sin free like Jesus lmfao. What have you done with the thousands you've made from this line of business? Did you buy yourself more clothes than you "need" from Temu or something than give to non for profit organizations? At least I got no issue saying the money I've made from work and business I generally spend on myself with helping the very odd person here or there. I'm not living some Buddhist monk or hippie life. "Yo broooo, lets help everyone outtttt. Lets stop eating chickens and be vegan too."

Give your head a shake lady especially when advice was given to ya probably more than twice and you keep repeating the same mistake and venting. The problem is clearly you at this point. But sure act immature and call me names because I didn't sugar coat stuff and say "it's okay pray to God and whatever God you believe in will magically save you." You're in control of your life and where you wanna be in life. "OMG I didn't read all that because it doesn't align with my opinions and shit." Gimme a break. You can't even handle straight forward replies when you're in the wrong. You act like I called you worse things when I didn't go that route. I'm not gonna sugar coat and be soft to an adult on an escort forum.

I have yet to see another SP on here make the same topic multiple times venting about the same thing that she can be in control of after the correct advice was given.

Oh and BTW what do you call someone like yourself who buys clothes, shoes and other products including the electronic devices you're using to post here knowing they were made by sweatshop workers overseas and along with helping those large corps profit? Seems like a form of narcissists behaviour. At least I don't post the things I own on social platforms seeking attention. You come across envious too I bet since other ladies make more than you in this line of business or you're probably mad at a guy like Jeff Bezos for making billions when you didn't come up with the idea of a business that financially succeeded.

Are you sure you're a client?

You are going off and being harsh like an SP with a bone to pick.

Ease off a bit.

 

[jalimon]

Are you sure you're a client?

You are going off and being harsh like an SP with a bone to pick.

Ease off a bit.

I think he is a troll...

 

[YoYoHoward]

I hope that one day they might return to their old selves and keep forking out the dough

That’s a pretty memorable description of a man you’ve spent dozens of hours with.

I’m gathering that part of your schtick is femdom and probably you’re attractive enough to have a regular coterie.

But I’d have to think eventually some of these guys would get tired of being so blatantly thought of as an open wallet.

With girls I see a lot, it gets more interesting each time. But the minute there’s no thin veil of amorousness, I have a hard time even finishing, let alone returning.

But why do they contact you at all? I’d imagine it’s a bit like drunk-dialing an ex, but then you have a few days/hours to think about it and remember why you stopped in the first place.

 

[Useful Idiot]

Let me throw in another possible explanation: age catches up to them. Over time our bodies decline, especially if we do not take care of ourselves. And for guys, a decline in sexuality is a crisis. The ones that book and then no-show might think things will go well, and then develop anxiety. And because they are ashamed you do not get an explanation. And then there is mood in general. People tend to either get gentler, or grumpier as they age.

Also, throw in financial variability. Most of us have good and bad times. During downturns it is really hard to justify "fun" expenses - some may be tempted before realizing they really cannot afford it.

 

[jimsa56]

Damn that’s unfortunate to hear but - I can totally relate I had some really good regular clients that over time just became worse and worse.

Other than hygiene standards, what do you think soured the relationship with your regulars

 

[Robert Mugabe]

 

[YoYoHoward]

My advice is what I would do in this situation:

If a great regular cancels once with more than 4 hours notice and I'm not touring, I let it go and reschedule with him.
Shit happens.

If he cancels again, I require a cancelation fee.

If he refuses the fee, I blacklist him.

If he pays the fee and rebooks me and cancels again he is now required to prepay his visits upon booking.
That way if he cancels, I'm paid.

If he texts me again and refuses to prepay the entire fee, he goes on my blacklist.
______________________________________

I have not personally dealt with great regulars doing this, but have had that type of behaviour from other clients.

I don't block them, I keep their text history and make notes because I have had people change their ways who want to make it up to me and have sent me all money owed for another chance.
If they text me, I let them know I will speak to them once $ is sent to my email and that's it.

Sometimes people are going through something and while I won't tolerate bad behaviour, I don't mind giving someone a chance when the conditions are right and I'm compensated for past cancelations.

That’s a pretty reasonable, business-like escalation.

 

[Ahri]

Other than hygiene standards, what do you think soured the relationship with your regulars

Honestly it was more about him feeling entitled because he has been a regular for a while. He slowly kept pushing my limits more and more until I couldn’t take it anymore and just blocked him.

I do wanna say though he is probably the only regular I have blocked.

 

[The Options Menu]

He slowly kept pushing my limits more and more until I couldn’t take it anymore and just blocked him.

"Slow boiling a frog."

You made the right call there as that seems pretty manipulative. Not that you need my permission or anything.

 

[Josephine]

I truly have no time for those who doesn't respect mine, push my boundaries, try to manipulate me ect. I block and it's over.

I care about my clients and invest myself in this relationship but I will protect my energy at all cost. Otherwise, you just become bitter and angry.

 

[massman]

There seems to be a natural progression where clients I've seen for years just for lack of a better word... go bad. They expire. Good times are over. Theres no money to be made. They go sour.

Out of respect I answer their messages and I book them knowing they're not going to come through and they cancel or just dont follow through until I eventually block them.

My question is, why do they even bother?

Are they bored? No money? Angry? What?

I only let them waste my time a bit because I've made thousands of dollars off of them but why go sour like that and perpetually waste time?

I let it go on to see how much people are willing to waste my time and one person has been doing it for over a year . I dont even travel to their area anymore.

Its not just one person its several over the years. They just book and dont show up and book and cancel. A person today scheduled me Friday for Sunday and I just acted like I would book them knowing full well I haven't seen them in four years and for four years they go through this routine. Sure enough they canceled but they've gone through the trouble to contact me from different numbers. Its just strange.

If I dont want to book my hairdresser I dont keep contacting my hairdresser or my masseuse on social media and on their work phone. I just find a new hairdresser or masseuse.

What is going through their heads from a man's perspective? Do they want me to throw myself at them? Am I supposed to lay it on thick or what?

"Hey baby, are you ready for me to suck your beautiful massive cock? My pussy is so wet for you!"

Is that what they need to hear or is it just dead and can't be revived and they're just being assholes? Lol

*theyre generally people that booked me weekly, bi weekly or monthly and I did quit for a while and came back. They contact me but never follow through.*

I don’t have any insight to offer. The behaviour you are describing makes no sense to me. You’d have to conclude that they are just being assholes. A good regular sp, who you connect with a bit, and who guarantees you a good, stress free, fun, exciting and relaxing time, is gold. Someone who starts to fuck that up is not right.

 

[massman]

I truly have no time for those who doesn't respect mine, push my boundaries, try to manipulate me ect. I block and it's over.

I care about my clients and invest myself in this relationship but I will protect my energy at all cost. Otherwise, you just become bitter and angry.

Same on the client side. My time and my energy is in short supply. Girls who flake at the last minute, who are habitually severely late, who are unpredictable (not in a good way of course ) I just won’t see anymore.
If we deal with each other in a straightforward way, don’t expect to keep expanding boundaries, or take more and more liberties with time wasting, we’d all be a lot happier.

 

[barnacler]

Why waste time trying to reason about the motivation of permanent idiots? You should have an attitude that, unless you HAVE to do something, like physically defend yourself, it makes about as much sense as getting angry at gravity after a hammer falls on your toe. It's like getting annoyed at mosquitoes, as though they are doing something wrong.

THEY AREN'T DOING ANYTHING WRONG. Or right for that matter. Their moral code is not yours, full stop, end of story. it won't change.

Good God, I think one of the most important lessons to learn in life is that you can't change other people, just like you can't reason with a drunk. Stop trying.

DO try to lose the word 'should' when talking about such people. Or better still, don't talk about them, or think about them at all! They no longer exist.

Now, LOL, if YOU are repeatedly posting here about essentially the same issue, we are the idiots for thinking YOU can change.

 

[harryass]

To OP question. I dont know. lol.

It appears like a money and or service issue with your former regs. Something negative from their POV may have happen. If possible, you may want to assessed the last session with them and rule out anything from your side that may have cause this.

Most clients would just move on if they are not happy for whatever reason. If some of your former regs are making fake bookings, it appears to me there intent is to waste your time and money (loss bookings) as payback for wasting their time and or money. Im guessing Money is the main issue with them.

I think you are the only person to answer your own question as to why your former regs has gotten sour to you. Just sayin for your consideration.

To OP question. Again, I dont know.