Why don't people return telephone calls or txts?

[hotsex2]

The simple answer is they don't want to talk with you, right?

I find it rude and disrespectful for a friend or date or anyone (sales people excluded) not to return a telephone call or txt. The person reaches out and not even a response? RUDE. I can understand if the person does not want to see you and end it or not go out with you but why not a simple "thanks for the offer to go out but no thanks" or "I thought about it and think we should not be together anymore" or "It's best if we not talk anymore."

Are people too afraid to say that? Do people take the path of least resistance and avoid confrontation?

Personally, I'd take a "fuck you and leave me alone" versus a non-response.

Thoughts?

I completely agreed a simple no or yes... or like he said... or even a fuck off..

 

[Questor]

The simple answer is they don't want to talk with you, right?

I find it rude and disrespectful for a friend or date or anyone (sales people excluded) not to return a telephone call or txt. The person reaches out and not even a response? RUDE. I can understand if the person does not want to see you and end it or not go out with you but why not a simple "thanks for the offer to go out but no thanks" or "I thought about it and think we should not be together anymore" or "It's best if we not talk anymore."

Are people too afraid to say that? Do people take the path of least resistance and avoid confrontation?

Personally, I'd take a "fuck you and leave me alone" versus a non-response.

Thoughts?

I'm finding this discussion is wandering all over the map. The OP has a question about unreturned calls from personal friends/acquaintances, if I am not mistaken. I would have different expectations for strippers and SPs. But for friends, it all depends on the relationship.

Are we talking about someone you have been out on one date with? The OP did mention about a person they dated. So you follow up with a phone call/message, and now you haven't heard back? I think it is a matter of personal choice myself. Sure, the person could call you back and tell you they don't want to see you anymore. But not everyone is comfortable doing that. Does that make them rude and inconsiderate? I don't think so. The person expecting the return phone call in this case needs to just move on. Why are we getting so hung up on an unreturned phone call?

 

[LordLoki]

The simple answer is they don't want to talk with you, right?

I find it rude and disrespectful "

Thoughts?

Well to be blunt, why would I feel any need to talk to telemarketers or people who txt and phone me that I have no interest in? They are trespassing on my space.

TXT and the phone have allowed annoying people to reach out and expect a civil response. Sorry that is just not logical. If I am interested in the person and / or they are a friend, I shall respond. However if it is just an annoying person, I shall be polite and ignore their unwanted intrusion. Actually I adore the “ignore function” and the “block” function.

So I am not ignoring you, my electronics are

 

[tboy]

Here is something that really pisses me off. In this day and age there are still human beings who DO NOT HAVE VOICE MAIL ! They call me, leave a message on my voice mail. I call them back multiple times and their phone just rings and rings, NO BLOODY VOICE MAIL so I can leave a message. Then they call me back and accuse me of being inconsiderate for not returning their call. Also, these people never say on my voice mail why they called. All they say is: "Call me."

I KNOW!!! what the Fuck is up with that?????? That's happened to me a couple of times in the last month alone....come on people, join the 19th century already! lol.....

 

[oldjones]

I have my text feature disabled, use a rigourous spam filter that sorts unknown emailers into a Whenever file, and don't use PMs (the 'feature' is only active because TERB says it must be). So I'm never ever gonna even see most of the sort of 'communication' the OP's talking about. So how can not responding to something you're not even aware of be rude?

What is rude is the uninvited intrusion on my privacy. If I said drop by, then you'll be welcome. But no one soliciting ever got an invite from me; they do get a quick, courteous dismissal. If I gave you my phone number or email, please use it. If you looked it up somewhere, then heaven help you if I disgree about how welcome you imagine your spontaneous gesture will be.

But if—and the OP did not say—we're talking about friends, associates and acquaintances, the it is as rude not to reply in some fashion as it is to imagine that not getting a swift reply means you've been spurned. Grownups have their own lives that get in the way of matching up to your priorities, but they also have the confidence that real relationships aren't measured on scales of micro-rudeness. And eventually, sometimes after years and years, they respond.

Send a letter. Then forget about it.

 

[petitelover]

I agree about the weakness of mind involved in this (non)action.

That's just spin that small minded people put on in order to avoid responsibility for their petty and irresponsible behavior.

They figure if they do this, then NOTHING is their fault.

It is completely untrue.

An adult is an adult, wether they like it or not. An non-returned message, wether it be voice, text, e-mail-whatever-is an open hole waiting to be filled by the receiver of the message.

A YES is as good as a NO. It is an answer that is needed, that is all. One cannot say: "Oh, you have to figure it out". Bullshit!

Be an adult, finish your tasks. Communicate properly. Otherwise it shows a lack of respect, maturity an education on the other person's behalf.

Only children behave this way. Not adults.

Nicely said - I agree.

 

[petitelover]

I'm not as bad as Morrice up there but did I ask you to text me? Did I ask you to call me? Did you ever stop and think that maybe your "first contact" wasn't appreciated?

So, you ask a chick for her number, you call her, she screens, and doesn't return your call. BFD get over it. Why did she give you her number to begin with? Probably because if she didn't, you'd call her a bitch, and if she gave you a wrong number, she's a *unt.

It's not the best way to handle things but of all the trials and tribulations we face in today's society, a non-returned phone call, email or text shouldn't be giving you that much grief.

I for one am guilty of not returning calls not because I'm rude, but because being self employed I'm pretty much freaking busy all the time and when I DO get some free time, I just like to veg. I also realize that others are quite busy and if they don't respond right away? I'll try again in a few days. I go by the 3 strikes rule: if I iniate contact 3 times and you don't respond, you're not interested and I delete your name/email/number from my files.

I respect your position but disagree. If a person gives you his/her number and you say you are going to call and do, the least the person can do is respond with a friendly hello or something to acknowledge the persons effort in reaching out.

I disagree any guy/gal has to give out his/her number for fear of being called a bitch or *unt or whatever. Why not say - thanks for the offer to get together but I don't have an interest - sorry.

And busy is no excuse for a simple txt acknowledgment. I agree with your 3 strikes rule but don't think it needs to get to that level. I have had girls ask me out and rather than wait for them calling or txting three times so they leave me alone, I've respected them enough to say - no, thank you but thanks for the offer.

Respect and being courteous is easy and does not take a lot of time and should be utilized more.

 

[petitelover]

Sometimes a phone call cannot be made for certain reasons but sending a text does not take long and you don't even have to speak with the person if you don't want to. One text will do this. The world is getting quite impersonal and I find that not even sending a text is rude.

Some people make me laugh though. Are you that damn busy not to text or call? That is such BS. Get over yourselves and make time for yourself and others.

Good points.

 

[petitelover]

I'm finding this discussion is wandering all over the map. The OP has a question about unreturned calls from personal friends/acquaintances, if I am not mistaken. I would have different expectations for strippers and SPs. But for friends, it all depends on the relationship.

Are we talking about someone you have been out on one date with? The OP did mention about a person they dated. So you follow up with a phone call/message, and now you haven't heard back? I think it is a matter of personal choice myself. Sure, the person could call you back and tell you they don't want to see you anymore. But not everyone is comfortable doing that. Does that make them rude and inconsiderate? I don't think so. The person expecting the return phone call in this case needs to just move on. Why are we getting so hung up on an unreturned phone call?

The comment I made didn't differentiate between strippers, sp's or civvies. I have had several experiences with both and they run parallel whether industry girls or not.

My point is if someone gives you their number and says call them and you do isn't it reasonable to expect some type of response? Again, a simple "I was drunk when I met you and didn't mean to give you my number so go away" would be preferable over the unreturned message. Don't you agree?

I agree it is not comfortable telling someone you don't want to see them but I still think it shows lack of respect and borders on being rude if no response if made at all. Be an adult - it's ok to say "no thank you."

 

[petitelover]

Well to be blunt, why would I feel any need to talk to telemarketers or people who txt and phone me that I have no interest in? They are trespassing on my space.

TXT and the phone have allowed annoying people to reach out and expect a civil response. Sorry that is just not logical. If I am interested in the person and / or they are a friend, I shall respond. However if it is just an annoying person, I shall be polite and ignore their unwanted intrusion. Actually I adore the “ignore function” and the “block” function.

So I am not ignoring you, my electronics are

I agree but I am not suggesting not responding to a telemarketer is rude. One could argue what is the difference between not returning a call to a telemarketer or someone else - rude is rude. Business versus personal would be my response.

Why not tell an annoying person that they communication between you needs to stop and end it like that rather than hit the "ignore function?" If they keep calling after that, I am in full agreement that feature should be used.

 

[petitelover]

I have my text feature disabled, use a rigourous spam filter that sorts unknown emailers into a Whenever file, and don't use PMs (the 'feature' is only active because TERB says it must be). So I'm never ever gonna even see most of the sort of 'communication' the OP's talking about. So how can not responding to something you're not even aware of be rude?

What is rude is the uninvited intrusion on my privacy. If I said drop by, then you'll be welcome. But no one soliciting ever got an invite from me; they do get a quick, courteous dismissal. If I gave you my phone number or email, please use it. If you looked it up somewhere, then heaven help you if I disgree about how welcome you imagine your spontaneous gesture will be.

But if—and the OP did not say—we're talking about friends, associates and acquaintances, the it is as rude not to reply in some fashion as it is to imagine that not getting a swift reply means you've been spurned. Grownups have their own lives that get in the way of matching up to your priorities, but they also have the confidence that real relationships aren't measured on scales of micro-rudeness. And eventually, sometimes after years and years, they respond.

Send a letter. Then forget about it.

I would have sent you a PM saying nice post but I don't think I would have gotten a response

 

[WhaWhaWha]

I'm a person who oft takes his time in returning phone calls or emails. It depends on how frivolous or tiresome the original communication was and it also depends on my mood. I treasure my solitude, am not very social, and most calls I experience as simple intrusions. So no instant response. Even at my most social, I hate using the phone so you're not going to get a 'fuck you and leave me alone' either. Take a hint folks!

jwm

By not answering, you are inviting repeated attempts to reach you. You obviously dont enjoy solitude and dont dislike repeated interruptions as much as you think. You also have no respect for the time or concern of the individuals who are trying to reach you. Trivial for you, important enough for them. Even buddists know that silence is only sometimes a sufficient answer.

 

[jwmorrice]

By not answering, you are inviting repeated attempts to reach you. You obviously dont enjoy solitude and dont dislike repeated interruptions as much as you think. You also have no respect for the time or concern of the individuals who are trying to reach you. Trivial for you, important enough for them. Even buddists know that silence is only sometimes a sufficient answer.

Grasshopper, your logic sounds nice but it fails the test of experience. I receive perhaps one phone call every few days. That includes telemarketers.

There are few personal communications I receive that require a quick response or even any response. I suspect that's true for most people but they just don't know it.

jwm

 

[petitelover]

Grasshopper, your logic sounds nice but it fails the test of experience. I receive perhaps one phone call every few days. That includes telemarketers.

There are few personal communications I receive that require a quick response or even any response. I suspect that's true for most people but they just don't know it.

jwm

No disrespect, but if you only have one call every few days and think few communications require a response, if at all, why have a telephone?

 

[jwmorrice]

No disrespect, but if you only have one call every few days and think few communications require a response, if at all, why have a telephone?

For the few communications that do require a response. Also good to have in case of a 911 need.

jwm

 

[Rockslinger]

No more fucking texting.

I text because I'm too cheap to pay for a long distance telephone call. Ever notice how many chicks do not have a 416, 905 or 647 area code?