My friends father dies last week. Boy was he a mean miserable sob Did mothing but berate his kids when they were young. Yelled at every one for no reason. Went through 3 wives and was mean to all of them. Now they all say what a great guy he was. They say he'd give them the shirt off his back. Even though he gave them nothing but grief and missery. The daughter wants to become religious now cause she thinks he's gone to heaven. The mom talks about the fur coat he baught her even though he never baught it SHE did after they had a huge fight over it. I've known the family for years so I know all the dirt on them. So my question is: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE !!!!! Watching this charade play out makes me lose all respect for this family and humans in general. Not that I had any hope for humans to start with. But this is too much to bear. I want to barf on the whole crazy bunch of them.
Why r people saints when they die ???
- Thread starter highpark
- Start date
Really?
The guys dead, so what good would shitting on him do? "Don't speak ill of the dead" is a fairly well accepted tradition in our society. Funerals are to make the survivors feel better anyway, plenty of opportunity for family members to go over the "dirt" later...
The guys dead, so what good would shitting on him do? "Don't speak ill of the dead" is a fairly well accepted tradition in our society. Funerals are to make the survivors feel better anyway, plenty of opportunity for family members to go over the "dirt" later...
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Living on after he's dead with hearts full of poisonous memories will only deepen the scars and pain. Now that he's gone, they're healing themselves in the same foolish amateur ways humans have always used.
Leave them alone, keep your opinions to yourself and use your memories to be better yourself.
Leave them alone, keep your opinions to yourself and use your memories to be better yourself.
I have experienced this as well and it is horseshit! I understand speaking no ill, but speak the truth. Coping mechanisms are weird.
I know of two cases similar to this one. In the first case the guy was a nasty drinking, gambling rat bastard that berated his son in front of others. The second case is of a nasty uneducated, racist old blowhard that got his attitude when he was a cop extorting bribes from innocent people as well as criminals in the old country. He would actuality say insulting things about people in Italian right in front of them thinking that they did not understand.
When these two guys died, the family elevated them to saints. I think they were just glad to see them gone.
When these two guys died, the family elevated them to saints. I think they were just glad to see them gone.
Indeed people are peculiar. Don't go out of your way to blacken the name of someone who has died, but at the same time don't whitewash the truth.
Two trains of thought on this...
1).in death..the survivors emotions are high and EVERYTHING is sensitive....comments memories..things can snap at the drop of a hat....I speak from experience on this one.
2) When you die..thats it you cease to exist, except in peoples memories and they can choose to remember the good or the bad...I for one choose to remember the good in people.(even though with some it takes a hell of a lot of searching for it!)..
It could also be a way of showing the younger ones who may have lost their Grandpa that we can forgive...
When my granmother died(suicide)..It hurt..only later did I find out she wasnt the sweet old nanna I had known growing up...but I will cherish MY memories ....
1).in death..the survivors emotions are high and EVERYTHING is sensitive....comments memories..things can snap at the drop of a hat....I speak from experience on this one.
2) When you die..thats it you cease to exist, except in peoples memories and they can choose to remember the good or the bad...I for one choose to remember the good in people.(even though with some it takes a hell of a lot of searching for it!)..
It could also be a way of showing the younger ones who may have lost their Grandpa that we can forgive...
When my granmother died(suicide)..It hurt..only later did I find out she wasnt the sweet old nanna I had known growing up...but I will cherish MY memories ....
I think highpark is more piss with the family on what they are saying about the father/husband.i agree with highpark why would people speak highly of someone when they know their lying to themselves?
When walking through a cemetery, and looking at the epitaphs on the tombstones, I often ask myself:
"Where are all the bad people buried?!?"
"Where are all the bad people buried?!?"
Well you can choose your friends as they say, but family... in so many cases there's just more hell to pay if you speak the truth. It doesn't just affect the asshole, it may mortify and offend those closest to them - widow, etc. Think of all those fawning and insincere cards you buy at birthdays, mom/father's day, etc., cos you really have little choice. Not every mom/dad/bro/sis/aunt is the greatest. Real people are often petty, selfish, manipulative and divisive, sometimes just a little insane and beyond any hope of positive change. In these cases the truth certainly aint gonna get it done, just stir up a nastier hornet's nest, so it's best to turn the other cheek. At least you only had to stomach this for a few hours. People often have hard choices where they either cut all ties with their family or live with this willful blindness cos the alternative just makes a bad situation even worse.
I don't mean to be a hard ass or speak bad of the dead. I certainly wouldn't raise hell at the funeral or afterwards. I just like the truth. I think people learn more and can be better if they learn from people's bad as well as good attributes. How r we supposed to learn or improve ourselves and our society if we whitewash every thing
Plus as I'm pushing through 50 I find the whole bullshit thing harder to swallow. I don't feel like I'm seeing much improvement in humanity lately.
Plus as I'm pushing through 50 I find the whole bullshit thing harder to swallow. I don't feel like I'm seeing much improvement in humanity lately.
I am not going to tell people at his funeral my ex-boss got his job by
backstabbing me. You must speak well of even your enemy when he
is gone. I might even want to be able to deliver the eulogy to my worst
foe like Chief Inspector Dreyfus here:
backstabbing me. You must speak well of even your enemy when he
is gone. I might even want to be able to deliver the eulogy to my worst
foe like Chief Inspector Dreyfus here:
It sounds like you're obsessed with this family.
I dont even know this much shit about my own family, let alone someone elses
