That's easy. The old double standard exists.
My former boss has an open marriage. He just kept forgetting to tell his wife.
Personally I'm not married so no problems exist.
would you tell your wife about your hobby?
- Thread starter piratepete
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That's easy. The old double standard exists.
My former boss has an open marriage. He just kept forgetting to tell his wife.
Personally I'm not married so no problems exist.
Similar situation. My wife doesn't want to do it with me and she doesn't want our relationship to end. She also knows I'm not giving up sex anytime soon or staying in a relationship without any, so she basically said "do what you want but I don't want to know about it." I'm sure she knows, but as long as I don't actually tell her, she's OK with it. At some point enough time will pass that she won't bother lying to herself and we probably will talk about it. Truth is, our relationship is better now that I go elsewhere.
I have no problem with this at all. She's not getting it from me so kinda wish she would get it somewhere else. For all I know, she already is. Maybe if the juices get flowing she might become more interested in me again. Don't worry, I'm not holding my breath.
She has my permission to, never mind. As long as it's just sport sex, I'm good with it.
Besides that, if she feels that there is a man out there who will treat her with more respect than me and provide for her better, and be more right for her, then she should leave and be with that man. (Just don't fuck me over financially.)
I would say the good of the hobby from a swinger perspective is just less bullshit trying to get another lady to hook up with you without her man being there.
I can't really speak about either, but I do have an opinion on some underlying factors.
In my experience, most times a lady wants to find a partner there must be an emotional/mental connection before a physical one. Often in relationships, sex stops as an indication of another problem.
I think it's sad when the sex has stopped due to another reason, but one or both partners can't face whatever needs to be corrected, and then they just 'exist' together. Perpetually stuck in one place, not moving forward or back, just stuck. I don't know that the relationship is about love anymore, I suppose it has to be on some level, but the association has become more of a business relationship than a romantic relationship.
In my experience, most times a lady wants to find a partner there must be an emotional/mental connection before a physical one. Often in relationships, sex stops as an indication of another problem.
I think it's sad when the sex has stopped due to another reason, but one or both partners can't face whatever needs to be corrected, and then they just 'exist' together. Perpetually stuck in one place, not moving forward or back, just stuck. I don't know that the relationship is about love anymore, I suppose it has to be on some level, but the association has become more of a business relationship than a romantic relationship.
I know there are plenty of open marriages out there, but I'm not in one of them. So no.
I did once get the balls to propose we visit one of those sex clubs to satisfy some exhibitionist urges, and she actually gave it fair thought. Alas, she eventually declined. Didn't feel she could bring herself anywhere near being able to perform in that situation. Oh well. I think that's the closest I'll ever get.
I did once get the balls to propose we visit one of those sex clubs to satisfy some exhibitionist urges, and she actually gave it fair thought. Alas, she eventually declined. Didn't feel she could bring herself anywhere near being able to perform in that situation. Oh well. I think that's the closest I'll ever get.
I saw the title to this thread and wondered "what the hell?". I had to take a peek. I agree with your sentiments here. I'm not married but the answer would be NO if I was, unless we were both swinging hobbyists.
Very well put. If not just a business relationship, perhaps one of co-habitation and survival. Sad if couples are stuck for some reason or another, like you say.
I'm guessing what happened with your S.O. there is that YOU wanted it as a lifestyle as opposed to occasional, infrequent or rare (once in a blue moon).
Have you told her how you felt about it (i.e., end of swinging)?
i hobby because of my wife , so Fuck NO i would never tell her ! lol
As i said to my buddy jokingly, one day i will tell her - " you know its cheaper for both of us if you suck some cock once in a while " hahahaha
As i said to my buddy jokingly, one day i will tell her - " you know its cheaper for both of us if you suck some cock once in a while " hahahaha
everyone assuming your wife will divorce you if you told her about your hobby. in fact, she might be ok with it. shouldn't you be honest with your wife since you took those marriage vows?
I wouldn't tell her ……unless you want to end the marriage ……she will freak if she finds out its been happening all this time ….yikes !
As long as I can watch !!+2
We only talk about it in a round-about way. Maybe not the most direct or adult or mature way to address the issue... but this is the way we can avoid the embarrassment at the same time. What she doesn't know can't hurt, and that's the way we prefer it.
She's taking hormones and medical treatment, which affects her libido and weight and self-confidence at the moment. We've seen all the doctors and therapy already. I do want I need to, on the side, as long as no one finds out and there's no emotions involved. That's why I stay away from civvies now. But if she ever does hear from someone that I'm cheating on her, then I'm dead meat.
I'm going to repeat what my Mom use to tell me "You can have sex without love, But you can't have love without sex" My opinion is relationships like this don't end up well, So my question is besides the financial ties, and children,
what other reason is there to stick around, unless they've become a Mother or Sister of sorts. Or, is it the memories, you can't cease to forget ??
