Guys, why marry the ugly one?
- Thread starter andreandi
- Start date
I think rubmeister has the right idea.
Just for fun I will channel my inner math geek to break down this phenomenon mathematically:
Key Assumptions
- Female Quality is normally distributed (i.e. very few 1's and 10's but many 5's).
- Male Status is described by a right skewed distribution (i.e. like a pyramid, a few at the top, many on the bottom).
- Each male will only pair with one female (i.e. no polygamy).
- Females will only mate with males who posses Status equal to her Quality. i.e. Female with quality of 8 will only mate with Males of Status of 8 or higher.
- Males will mate with both higher and lower quality females (i.e. Men will fuck anything with a vagina
)
The Simulation
- Each male randomly encounters X number of females.
- Male will attempt to mate with each female.
- Female performs status check on each approaching male. Reject or Accept based on Male Status.
- After approaching X females. Male will rank females he successfully mated with based on Quality, he will then pair with the highest quality female he has mated with.
Results
If you ran this simplified simulation through population you would get the following results:
- High quality females outnumber high status males due to mismatch in distributions for female quality and male status. Low status males outnumber low quality females for same reasons. Result is high number of unpaired high quality females and high number of unpaired low
- Dichotomy between most desired males and females: Highest status males have greatest number of acceptable mate choices. Highest quality females have fewest acceptable mate choices.
- Lower quality females have more acceptable mate choices because their acceptance criteria is lower.
Solutions
Ways to alleviate the imbalances:
- Change distribution of female quality to match distribution of male status (not feasible, genetic engineering of epic proportions required)
- Change distribution of male status to match distribution of female quality (not feasible, would require upheaval of entire social order, existing distribution is equilibrium state for most human societies).
- Surplus high quality females mate with excess low status males (not feasible as female choice is biologically hardwired (i.e. girls don't do losers), alcohol or hallucinogens may help temporarily but is only feasible in very short timeframes)
- Females lower status requirements for mate selection (not feasible, see above)
- High status male take multiple mates to absorb excess high quality females. Excess low status males used as fodder my high status males in military conflict (Most pre-modern societies functioned this way; not feasible in short or medium term, would require shift to feudal polygamous society).
- Excess high quality females work as SP's for horny TERBITES (most feasible option, LOL )
Just for fun I will channel my inner math geek to break down this phenomenon mathematically:
Key Assumptions
- Female Quality is normally distributed (i.e. very few 1's and 10's but many 5's).
- Male Status is described by a right skewed distribution (i.e. like a pyramid, a few at the top, many on the bottom).
- Each male will only pair with one female (i.e. no polygamy).
- Females will only mate with males who posses Status equal to her Quality. i.e. Female with quality of 8 will only mate with Males of Status of 8 or higher.
- Males will mate with both higher and lower quality females (i.e. Men will fuck anything with a vagina
)The Simulation
- Each male randomly encounters X number of females.
- Male will attempt to mate with each female.
- Female performs status check on each approaching male. Reject or Accept based on Male Status.
- After approaching X females. Male will rank females he successfully mated with based on Quality, he will then pair with the highest quality female he has mated with.
Results
If you ran this simplified simulation through population you would get the following results:
- High quality females outnumber high status males due to mismatch in distributions for female quality and male status. Low status males outnumber low quality females for same reasons. Result is high number of unpaired high quality females and high number of unpaired low
- Dichotomy between most desired males and females: Highest status males have greatest number of acceptable mate choices. Highest quality females have fewest acceptable mate choices.
- Lower quality females have more acceptable mate choices because their acceptance criteria is lower.
Solutions
Ways to alleviate the imbalances:
- Change distribution of female quality to match distribution of male status (not feasible, genetic engineering of epic proportions required)
- Change distribution of male status to match distribution of female quality (not feasible, would require upheaval of entire social order, existing distribution is equilibrium state for most human societies).
- Surplus high quality females mate with excess low status males (not feasible as female choice is biologically hardwired (i.e. girls don't do losers), alcohol or hallucinogens may help temporarily but is only feasible in very short timeframes)
- Females lower status requirements for mate selection (not feasible, see above)
- High status male take multiple mates to absorb excess high quality females. Excess low status males used as fodder my high status males in military conflict (Most pre-modern societies functioned this way; not feasible in short or medium term, would require shift to feudal polygamous society).
- Excess high quality females work as SP's for horny TERBITES (most feasible option, LOL )
can you calculate the chances of a high status male in his 40s who is looking for a high quality female in her 20s?I think rubmeister has the right idea.
Just for fun I will channel my inner math geek to break down this phenomenon mathematically:
Key Assumptions
- Female Quality is normally distributed (i.e. very few 1's and 10's but many 5's).
- Male Status is described by a right skewed distribution (i.e. like a pyramid, a few at the top, many on the bottom).
- Each male will only pair with one female (i.e. no polygamy).
- Females will only mate with males who posses Status equal to her Quality. i.e. Female with quality of 8 will only mate with Males of Status of 8 or higher.
- Males will mate with both higher and lower quality females (i.e. Men will fuck anything with a vagina
The Simulation
- Each male randomly encounters X number of females.
- Male will attempt to mate with each female.
- Female performs status check on each approaching male. Reject or Accept based on Male Status.
- After approaching X females. Male will rank females he successfully mated with based on Quality, he will then choose the highest quality female he has mated with.
Results
If you ran this simplified simulation through population you would get the following results:
- High quality females outnumber high status males due to mismatch in distributions for female quality and male status. Low status males outnumber low quality females for same reasons. Result is high number of unpaired high quality females and high number of unpaired low
- Dichotomy between most desired males and females: Highest status males have greatest number of acceptable mate choices. Highest quality females have fewest acceptable mate choices.
- Lower quality females have more acceptable mate choices because their acceptance criteria is lower.
Solutions
Ways to alleviate the imbalances:
- Surplus high quality females mate with excess low status males (not feasible as female choice is biologically hardwired (i.e. girls don't do losers), alcohol or hallucinogens may help temporarily but is only feasible in very short timeframes)
- Females lower status requirements for mate selection (not feasible, see above)
- High status male take multiple mates to absorb excess high quality females. Excess low status males used as fodder my high status males in military conflict (Most pre-modern societies functioned this way; not feasible in short or medium term, would require shift to feudal polygamous society).
- Excess high quality females work as SP's for horny TERBITES (most feasible option, LOL )
assume that a female that would go for a guy in his 40s would also go for any high status guy whose age is between her age and the 40s
(I by the way disagree with the assumption that a high quality female would only go for a high status male. I think a whole bunch of pretty women are dating losers and they are lost for high status males because they are taken and also because they are dumb as shit)
Chances range from fair to good. Probabilities depend on delta of status of said male and quality of desired female. Unclear whether chances of success scale linearly or exponentially with delta.
Assortive mating between low status males and high quality females may occur in some instances. Occurs often when females lower status requirements due to use of substances and male temporarily enhances status with "game" or illusion. Such effects are transient and regression to mean occurs shortly thereafter.
Friction in pair bond occurs due to divergence between Female quality and male status, often centers around monetary disputes. Pair bond divorces due to friction. Divorced high quality female adopts fake tan and breasts, becomes desperate cougar. Divorced low status male becomes raging alcoholic.
Hi andreandi
I think working as a stripper may have something to do with not being marriage material. I am sure strippers get married but the guy has to think at some point that maybe just maybe you may be stripping again for $ or more. My guess is a trust issue. Guys ugly or good looking want the same as girls someone they can trust.
I think working as a stripper may have something to do with not being marriage material. I am sure strippers get married but the guy has to think at some point that maybe just maybe you may be stripping again for $ or more. My guess is a trust issue. Guys ugly or good looking want the same as girls someone they can trust.
Umm ok here is my calculation
A high quality female in her 20s say 27yo who would be ok with a guy who is 40yo can have pretty much any male she wants aged 27, 28, ....until 40.( Let's assume that both male and female are in top 5% of their respective age groups in terms of desirability).
Doesn't it mean that a guy in his forties should pretty much beat a hell of a lot of competition to get this girl? How on earth are his chances fair to good?
He is facing 1 against 13 just age wise. And besides, only limited number of females would even accept this age difference.
Isn't it fair to say that he is pretty much fucked?
This will be a harsh answer that you won't like, but you asked, so here ya go: you are (apparently) a hot woman who is a member of a prostitute-review board. That there is a key indication of what offerings you bring to the table, and those offerings don't add up to marriage material. Guys will certainly want to have sex with you, but the assumption that a "nice" guys will make is that you are most likely a slut, and that you will cheat on them. Are you a stripper? An SP? An MPA? Whichever, my assumption is that you are "living the life", that you dress and act like a Paris Hilton wannabe, and are enjoying being hot in your 20's. That's all great and fun - enjoy it to the max. But a decent, respectful, normal man, is not currently hanging out in the same crowd you run with.
So, when a nice guy says you are too pretty to marry, what he is really saying is that you are too sleazy to marry, but he's too polite to say that. When a scuzzy guy (and our definitions of scuzzy guys most likely differ) says you are too pretty to marry, he is telling you up front that you can rock his bed whenever you want, but don't expect a ring.
I could be totally wrong, but the smart money is that a young girl on TERB isn't really marriage materiel. And it has nothing to do with looks. The guys just cant' say that to your face. Sorry. Good luck.
So, when a nice guy says you are too pretty to marry, what he is really saying is that you are too sleazy to marry, but he's too polite to say that. When a scuzzy guy (and our definitions of scuzzy guys most likely differ) says you are too pretty to marry, he is telling you up front that you can rock his bed whenever you want, but don't expect a ring.
I could be totally wrong, but the smart money is that a young girl on TERB isn't really marriage materiel. And it has nothing to do with looks. The guys just cant' say that to your face. Sorry. Good luck.
I think what's more likely going on is not this silly "status math", but rather I think men try and fuck anything that moves, and women become picky and try and weed out who is really serious and who is just looking for fun. It's hard to tell, so lots of time serious guys get brushed off coz they came across as just fucking around. In any case, the male perception is a long series of brush-offs, and the female perception is frustration with males who are not serious.
In the end, though, it all works out. I don't really believe very many people wind up single for life.
One modern complication is that the average Canadian and the average American has become a fat fuck, and they are not attractive to their equally fat counter-parts.
If that's you try this: Eat less, go to the gym. Work on your small talk--talk to everybody until you can do it naturally. After you're fit and you can carry a conversation you won't have much trouble meeting women. Seriously it's not much harder than that--most guys and most girls problem these days is that they're fat and unattractive, and their fatness and unattractiveness has made them shy about talking to women.
I used to be afraid to talk to women when I was in highschool. Then one day in University I thought what the hell, I'm just going to go up and talk. Guess what? It works. No magic "the game" shit, just carry a normal conversation, and get rid of any major problems in your physical appearance. The rest will come naturally.
In the end, though, it all works out. I don't really believe very many people wind up single for life.
One modern complication is that the average Canadian and the average American has become a fat fuck, and they are not attractive to their equally fat counter-parts.
If that's you try this: Eat less, go to the gym. Work on your small talk--talk to everybody until you can do it naturally. After you're fit and you can carry a conversation you won't have much trouble meeting women. Seriously it's not much harder than that--most guys and most girls problem these days is that they're fat and unattractive, and their fatness and unattractiveness has made them shy about talking to women.
I used to be afraid to talk to women when I was in highschool. Then one day in University I thought what the hell, I'm just going to go up and talk. Guess what? It works. No magic "the game" shit, just carry a normal conversation, and get rid of any major problems in your physical appearance. The rest will come naturally.
it will take a rare kind of guy to be okay with that kind of job. a guy that will care enough to ask how your day was but care about you as a person even more to not get mad when you tell him. if you are already out of that profession (whichever you may be) then there should be no issue with what you did before you either met or started dating unless the guy is a retard.
i met a girl at a party i was doing rails and drinking like a basterd and she was doing everything with me, we hooked up and she told me to quit drugs and cut back on my drinking. same sort of thing here, you know what the person is, you know what they do, don't get together and try to change them. a persons past should not affect a persons future.
I was never a beauty, I am considered just ''cute'', short, brunette, and I had hundreds of men ask me out. I even got hit on in gay bars.
Between the age of 16 to 35, I had about 275 men ask me out on a date. This was before the internet, or dating sites, these were just random men that I would meet in a class, in the store, on the street, at camp, etc...
I had friends who were beautys, I had friends who were overweight, I had friends who were skinny with no busts. None of them got as much attention with men as I did.
The type of women who have the most dates are women who are me.
Short (between 5'1 and 5'5) Not taller
Brunette
busty
funny/flirty
Great personality
not a natural beauty
Not really interested or desperate for men
I never put OUT. I slept with all but 2.
The women who get asked out the most are closet cases/wanna be lesbians like myself.
Between the age of 16 to 35, I had about 275 men ask me out on a date. This was before the internet, or dating sites, these were just random men that I would meet in a class, in the store, on the street, at camp, etc...
I had friends who were beautys, I had friends who were overweight, I had friends who were skinny with no busts. None of them got as much attention with men as I did.
The type of women who have the most dates are women who are me.
Short (between 5'1 and 5'5) Not taller
Brunette
busty
funny/flirty
Great personality
not a natural beauty
Not really interested or desperate for men
I never put OUT. I slept with all but 2.
The women who get asked out the most are closet cases/wanna be lesbians like myself.
Oh wait, I forgot the question.
I got a lot of dates, but never got a marriage proposal.
My observation, here is a discription of what wealthy men look for in women when searching for a wife. As for poor men, who cares, they will marry the first women they knock up.
Rich men marry educated, thin women who have curves, but are not over weight.
They do not marry prostitues or sluts.
I got a lot of dates, but never got a marriage proposal.
My observation, here is a discription of what wealthy men look for in women when searching for a wife. As for poor men, who cares, they will marry the first women they knock up.
Rich men marry educated, thin women who have curves, but are not over weight.
They do not marry prostitues or sluts.
Women in general (specially the pretty ones) are walking with a big bullseye on their backs (or asses). Meaning men will stare, hit on every lady(specially hotties) married or not and men(husbands) in general don't want that kind of shit. Now if you're saying you will be loyal to your man even if brad pitt is hitting on you....will you marry me?
This is a terrible place to get advice, for the most part. So, now that I've said why you shouldn't read the rest of this, I'll give some advice. I think one of the few things people have been right about in this thread is that most of the guys who say you're "too pretty" aren't giving you their real reasons. As for what to do about guys not wanting to be involved with a stripper, I think lying is generally a bad strategy. The kind of guys it works on aren't the kind of guys you want anyway (either they're stupid, in which case they're also vulnerable to other people's tricks, or they really don't care, which means they probably really don't care about you). Not all guys will have a problem with your profession. It may be worthwhile to remember that if you are going to be relying on a guy being open-minded, you should probably think about whether you're being sufficiently open-minded yourself. Not telling you to settle, but there may be guys you're ruling out because you think no guy with X characteristic could be worth your time, and at least for some of those characteristics that may be as foolish as the guys who reject you because they think no stripper could be worth their time.
If you stay in the sex trade, you are likely screwing yourself out of a shot at a decent relationship with a normal, boring, loving man - due to the damage the industry will do to your perception of men, and due to the type of man you will be able to date, and due to the impact your past will have on that normal, boring, loving guy some day down the road. If you strip for a couple years to pay for school or whatever, then go straight, and become a non-rocker chick, non-partying, non-drug using, normal boring Canadian girl, then I would not worry about your past. It will become just a phase you went through. I would not tell a guy on the first date, that you used to be a stripper. But after you've been seeing a guy for a while, and you each have a good sense of who the other person is, you will need to tell him. If you will have truly become a more "respectable" woman, and if the guy is truly a nice guy, it won't matter to him. It will just be part of your past.
If you are doing any SP'ing though, then forget what I said about honestly. That's too big a history for most men to get over. That one, you need to lie about!! Confess to having been a dancer but insist you just did stage work and air dances, in respectable, safe clubs.
And if you choose to stay in the sex trade, that's fine - zero judgement from me!! Lol. But.....don't expect that you can be in the sex trade for a decade then the very day you leave, walk into a suburban relationship with the perfect man just like your dad, who has a good job at the Royal Bank and goes to church with you and drops the kids off at school before picking you up for a picnic lunch and is totally faithful to you. Those kinds of guys, when they do exist, don't date party girls like the one you will become after a decade in the sex trade. Yes there are exceptions - are you going to be one of those very few?
Sorry for the preaching. But its a hard industry to escape from. I probably sound like an ass. Oh well!
If you are doing any SP'ing though, then forget what I said about honestly. That's too big a history for most men to get over. That one, you need to lie about!! Confess to having been a dancer but insist you just did stage work and air dances, in respectable, safe clubs.
And if you choose to stay in the sex trade, that's fine - zero judgement from me!! Lol. But.....don't expect that you can be in the sex trade for a decade then the very day you leave, walk into a suburban relationship with the perfect man just like your dad, who has a good job at the Royal Bank and goes to church with you and drops the kids off at school before picking you up for a picnic lunch and is totally faithful to you. Those kinds of guys, when they do exist, don't date party girls like the one you will become after a decade in the sex trade. Yes there are exceptions - are you going to be one of those very few?
Sorry for the preaching. But its a hard industry to escape from. I probably sound like an ass. Oh well!
maybe it's not about being too pretty. cuz when it comes down to it marrying someone you truely love has little to do with the outer shell. of course its important to be attracted to someone physically but that can come with getting to know the person on the inside, which makes them more attractive.
i'm guessing 'too pretty' is an excuse or a cop out as to why they wont marry you. it's an easy way out because it involves a lesser battle than telling you the real reasons why they think it isnt going to work. they're probably thinking 'why bruise her self esteem and ego and get into some huge fight about this'
i'm guessing 'too pretty' is an excuse or a cop out as to why they wont marry you. it's an easy way out because it involves a lesser battle than telling you the real reasons why they think it isnt going to work. they're probably thinking 'why bruise her self esteem and ego and get into some huge fight about this'
My money says you are one of the exceptions to the blather I posted above. You seem to have a pretty smart head on your shoulders; I hope I didn't insult you or anything - sounds like you are in control and will be fine! Probably much better than me lol.
