You missed the best part of the last entry that comes right after the part you quoted.
And some more good stuffThe only people I think I could give insight to are the clients. And all I can say is this: we don’t love you. We barely like you. Seeing an escort doesn’t make you a bad guy, but it doesn’t make you good, either. I don’t feel bad about what I did. I would do it again if I had to. I know that. I’m sorry you’re all so sad.
I won’t tell you that money doesn’t buy happiness. Of course it can. There are many paths to finding your meaning in this world and you can only sleep with so many 20-year-olds before you realize you’re kidding yourself.
I’ll blow the lid off of this for all of the civilians out there: most escorts have boyfriends. If you hire one, whatever she tells you, 90% of the time she has someone waiting for her at home, probably someone nicer, better adjusted and better looking than you. Sorry. Most women (and men) in the sex industry have boyfriends. Most of them, in my experience, are cool with it. A highly evolved version of human being does exist and Conor is one of them. It’s hard to imagine yourself as one of these people if you aren’t one already. Sometimes, it’s hard to imagine being someone, and then you’ll wake up one day and be that person, whether it’s an escort or the man who loves one.
I try to put myself in the position of men a lot. I’ve learned so much about them in my job. I wonder if I’d be the kind of man who could date an escort. I’d like to think I’d be as cool as Conor is. Maybe there’s something heartening about getting something for free other men pay dearly for. There was never any moment of hesitation. When I paid off the first credit card I owed on, all of the old, hairy fat men I had slept with instead of him melted away. I was happy in my life for the first time in a long time.






