Am I just too nervous, or is this just "not for me"?

[T-boy]

Hey!

I had my second SP experience two weeks ago. My first was 3 years ago, and wasn't too great. First time, I couldn't really get an erection, and when I did it, didn't last. I thought it was just down to first time nerves - my heart was beating like crazy etc. The SP got me just about going with a BBBJ, then I just lost my erection as soon as we put the condom on.

So, I broke up with my girlfriend a while back, and decided to visit another SP two weeks ago. And....my experience was exactly the same as the first time. Almost 100% the same. The girl tried hard enough, and I could see the was probably nervous as I was obviously nervous? I just couldn't seem to relax into it and whatever she tried, I got semi hard, but just not hard enough for FS. She got on top for a couple of minutes, but I'd lost the erection again.

I never have any issues with a girlfriend (or on my own!) so I'd always assumed I could see an SP and get it up straight away and just have fun! Even the day I saw the SP, I was all ready to go before I left my apartment to go to the location, and as soon as I got there I could feel my heart starting to race, then I couldn't calm down, then I just couldn't perform, even though I was horny!

So, is this just "not for me"? I have this image in my head that I can see an SP and just perform, but maybe my nerves just won't let me? The SP I saw second time said it might be better to see the same girl (her?) more than once, and then second time I might relax more if I know her a bit more? I guess that makes sense?

Anybody else have similar issues when starting hobbying? I'm 35 and always horny.....except when the door opens and I walk into the SP's place, apparently! It's frustrating, cos I don't want to waste money if I'm not going to be able to perform, even though I really want to!

 

[frankcastle]

is it the condom? i find it harder to come with a condom.

this is why i prefer mpas since fs is not a priority.

the fact that with gf or solo you are fine suggests. something is up.

are you stressed about something? maybe disease?

try mpa it is a different thrill the good ones talk to you, massage you, tease you maybe that kind of comfort is better for you.

at this point sps seem a waste for you.

 

[Buick Mackane]

You look at it as "performing", thus you get stagefright or anxiety. Don't look at it as failure if you don't stay hard, try going down on her again - maybe some 69. It's okay if you don't cum until later on when you're reliving the experience of being with her.

If it's the condom, try masturbating with one on.

 

[T-boy]

I think it is partly the condom.

I can eventually get an erection with a BJ, but then when the condom gets on, its a matter a minutes before I lose it again! I think its more the inability to calm myself! I think I read somewhere that adrenaline can stop you getting an erection?! Could that be part of it?! I'm definitely not worried about desease or anything, otherwise I would stress out about a BBBJ, which I don't.

I guess, I've never had a proper one night stand, I've only ever slept with women I'm getting into a relationship with, so maybe its just that I can't perform first time?!

 

[punter]

I have that problem sometimes, as soon as the condom goes on, I go limp, that's why I need an SP that does CIM. That's my plan B.

 

[T-boy]

You look at it as "performing", thus you get stagefright or anxiety. Don't look at it as failure if you don't stay hard, try going down on her again - maybe some 69. It's okay if you don't cum until later on when you're reliving the experience of being with her.

If it's the condom, try masturbating with one on.

I'm just using the "perform" as a euphemism for getting an erection long enough for FS. I know I don't necessarily need to "perform" during the visit. So, I don't "think" that's my problem?

 

[SofiaYork]

I sent you a PM.

My suggestion is to build up chemistry with one girl SP/sugar baby over a few sessions before youre psychologically there and your little 'friend' agrees.

Guys have been anti-condom since their teens.. it takes practice, but even seniors with erectile dysfunction can have success.. so can you. Dont blame the condoms! Its a cop out Seeing one girl over a period of time is like having one family doctor -- she knows your ins and outs, what does and doesnt work and your history -- can help the process move along smoothly towards success.

 

[T-boy]

Thanks for the PM! I do see what you mean about the doctor analogy, you may be right about that! I'm hoping anyways! I've always had a head full of fantasies, but seeing an SP so far hasn't had much success. It's not for lack of effort tho!

 

[SofiaYork]

Thanks for the PM! I do see what you mean about the doctor analogy, you may be right about that! I'm hoping anyways! I've always had a head full of fantasies, but seeing an SP so far hasn't had much success. It's not for lack of effort tho!

Np! cant reply because now your inbox is full.. LOL! Wanted to elaborate more on some pros and cons of different types but ill try again later =)

 

[T-boy]

Oops! I deleted all my old messages! I didn't even realise my inbox was that full!

 

[Libra]

Do you smoke?

 

[mrsix]

Do you smoke?

Only when he goes too fast.

(sorry, bad joke, it's a slow afternoon)

 

[Buick Mackane]

I'm just using the "perform" as a euphemism for getting an erection long enough for FS. I know I don't necessarily need to "perform" during the visit. So, I don't "think" that's my problem?

You talk about anxiety, that's the same thing. I get that too, for me it helps being in my own place and seeing someone who is good at soothing me.

 

[T-boy]

No. Well, not really, I smoke one cig a year if I'm in the mood. Why?! You mean to relax me before the appointment, I'm assuming?

 

[T-boy]

You talk about anxiety, that's the same thing. I get that too, for me it helps being in my own place and seeing someone who is good at soothing me.

I have thought about that actually. I live in an older apartment block in downtown and I didn't think an SP would like coming to me. But maybe I'm wrong? The last place I went to an incall was no better than my own apartment, in fact it was kinda similar!

 

[Libra]

No. Well, not really, I smoke one cig a year if I'm in the mood. Why?! You mean to relax me before the appointment, I'm assuming?

Nope, ruling causes out. Don't smoke.

 

[SofiaYork]

I have thought about that actually. I live in an older apartment block in downtown and I didn't think an SP would like coming to me. But maybe I'm wrong? The last place I went to an incall was no better than my own apartment, in fact it was kinda similar!

Sooo many obvious points to mention from this LOL... but ill hold back, for now.



As for smoking... smoking causes male impotency. Some men deny it but ive had smoking boyfriends and non smoking boyfriends and the consistency of how hard the penis gets and other problems is a VERY OBVIOUS difference. Men who smoke for a long time hardly know anything else, as this is a life they can remember dating back decades LOL -- and usually just attribute it to older age. Wrong! As a professional penis handler, I can tell you not one smoker can get as hard as a steel pole... younger or older. Ive seen flacid chain smoking 25 year olds and rock hard 50 year olds.

 

[T-boy]

I'm definitely NOT a smoker! As I said, I have NO problem at all getting an erection with a girlfriend, or on my own, its just as soon as the door to the SP's place opens, it all goes south! haha!

 

[Libra]

Sooo many obvious points to mention from this LOL... but ill hold back, for now.



As for smoking... smoking causes male impotency. Some men deny it but ive had smoking boyfriends and non smoking boyfriends and the consistency of how hard the penis gets and other problems is a VERY OBVIOUS difference. Men who smoke for a long time hardly know anything else, as this is a life they can remember dating back decades LOL -- and usually just attribute it to older age. Wrong! As a professional penis handler, I can tell you not one smoker can get as hard as a steel pole... younger or older. Ive seen flacid chain smoking 25 year olds and rock hard 50 year olds.

This man won't deny it.

I smoked since I was 14 and quit January this year (New Years Resolution). I agree with the above 100%, it was hard and I could fuck with it just fine, but it wasn't pointing to the stars like it is now, more like just forward. Now I can probably balance myself on it, as if it where a kickstand.

...and as a side benefit I won't be having anyone wishing I catch AIDS and die lol :wink:

 

[SofiaYork]

I smoked since I was 14 and quit January this year (New Years Resolution). I agree with the above 100%, it was hard and I could fuck with it just fine, but it wasn't pointing to the stars like it is now, more like just forward. Now I can probably balance myself on it, as if it where a kickstand.

...and as a side benefit I won't having anyone wishing I catch AIDS and die lol :wink:

lol exactly! I mean it still "works"... men seem to connect impotency with it shriveling up, dying, then falling off. Pretty extreme

My ex was smoking since he was around 14 -- when we were together and he was about 24? of course we had sex all the time. I had other partners before him but never really noticed the difference till later on -- afterwards I had a few boyfriends who were literally like metal pipes and I was like what the hell?? I never even thought it was possible. Smokers just have a little bit more "squishiness" to them...! Kind of like a non smokers semi...! I don't really mind actually. My last ex actually was too hard -- it was a problem. He'd have to mentally tone it down and make it a little more squishy so I could actually enjoy myself. Don't need a baseball bat stabbing my uterus =)