How do SP integrate back into society?

[Giselle Montreal]

Or I’m sure many would never say and no one would know.

If you work in this industry one or two years, maybe, or for those who kept a full-time job as a main career. Othewise, it becomes harder to hide!

 

[Ahri]

There are two problems with telling someone you were a sex worker.

1. they have issue with the body count for the reasons we all know. They want to know how many were bigger and better then them and they get it stuck in their head.

or

2. they expect sex all the time. When they want, how they want, etc. They think because you did it as job, you will do it like that at home. Not realizing it was a JOB.

At least this is what I have heard some women complain about.

I totally agree with this… unfortunately a lot of my friends who are SPs have broken up with their partners due to the guys being insecure and giving them an ultimatum of either leaving the industry or breaking up with them. Everyone I know chose the latter lol

 

[Happyfeetkiller]

I frequently wonder how Sp who have been working this industry for many years go about being honest about their sexual history in a relationship. Don’t get me wrong… I have nothing but the highest respect for all of these beautiful ladies and they have worked miracles on me for many years. But let’s face it… many of these ladies have been with 3-5-8 hundred or even thousands of men. Again… no judgement, but how do they go about explaining to someone In a new relationship that this has been their life? Or do they leave it out? Just wondering and would love some insight on this…. Just as lounge chit chat.

I would imagine they wouldn’t tell the men in their lives what they have done or maybe they find someone who already knows. The same way we wouldn’t tell our wives we are seeing ladies of the night. Personally I wouldn’t care if it was something or the past and was clean. I would definitely make her get tested

 

[Pepe_Grande]

There are two problems with telling someone you were a sex worker.

1. they have issue with the body count for the reasons we all know. They want to know how many were bigger and better then them and they get it stuck in their head.

or

2. they expect sex all the time. When they want, how they want, etc. They think because you did it as job, you will do it like that at home. Not realizing it was a JOB.

At least this is what I have heard some women complain about.

I don't think any of these is exclusive to sex workers. Most men always wonder about #1 unless you're a virgin. As for #2 healthy men generally have higher libido, so if they are with a hottie such as yourself then there will be even more demands . Also realizing that your partner is more comfortable with sex makes them more willing to share their sex fantasies.

The stigma around sex work is mostly a Judeo-Christian moral construct. Before then it was a sacred job at the temple of a goddess.

 

[Pepe_Grande]

I totally agree with this… unfortunately a lot of my friends who are SPs have broken up with their partners due to the guys being insecure and giving them an ultimatum of either leaving the industry or breaking up with them. Everyone I know chose the latter lol

That's just the "I CaN fIX HeR!" mentality!

 

[Bucktee]

I’ll tell you what I can’t figure out. Many of these women are very good looking and very good company. It really can’t be that hard to pick up a high-earning young man on Bay Street on a Thursday. Absolutely blow his mind the way only an experienced woman can, then convert it to a stable relationship. Tell him a month or two in that she was a sex worker so it’s not hanging over their heads down the road.

I’d gladly give up my ATF if she found a real relationship with a successful man, which I’ve encouraged her to do.

But every time an SP under 30 shows me a picture of her boyfriend, it’s a tattooed drug dealer or “DJ”.

I get the feeling some of these women just don’t make good life choices. I mean I get grabbing a few extra bucks to pay for school, rent, kids etc but a lot of these women could easily get a high-earning man but seem to repeatedly choose assholes and losers.

Bay Street high rollers are few and far between, and they have options for long term relationships.

As for the 'under 30' drug dealer boyfriend comment, it reminds me of this:

 

[Luke737]

If you work in this industry one or two years, maybe, or for those who kept a full-time job as a main career. Othewise, it becomes harder to hide!

Sorry, you mean it’d be hard to hide even after they’ve stopped being an SW? Why do you think that is? Don’t mean to put on the spot, I’m just curious. Many people are of the opinion that it’s something you can just leave behind.

 

[Leipani]

The better the escort, the worse she is as a girlfriend. I’ve found this out the hard way

 

[katrinako]

The better the escort, the worse she is as a girlfriend. I’ve found this out the hard way

The Hard Way?

 

[Giselle Montreal]

Sorry, you mean it’d be hard to hide even after they’ve stopped being an SW? Why do you think that is? Don’t mean to put on the spot, I’m just curious. Many people are of the opinion that it’s something you can just leave behind.

I do this full time with no other job on the side, and until recently, I didn't have another career. My diplomas have dates on it, I won't photoshop them to lie!

So how one justifies, let's say, 15-20 years without a traditionnal career but having money, all those travelling, no debts and such? Some here have rich parents but it's not the case for most. It's however more possible to hide a long term presence in the sex industry if a sex worker had another career on the side, either full or part time. It's also possible to hide it when they did this for just a few years, one or two years while they were going to school, for instance.

But I personally don't want to hide it; it's part of my life experience, it's part of me, I can't hide it to a partner. It wouldn't be my partner is I wanted to hide it.

 

[Patron]

I do this full time with no other job on the side, and until recently, I didn't have another career. My diplomas have dates on it, I won't photoshop them to lie!

So how one justifies, let's say, 15-20 years without a traditionnal career but having money, all those travelling, no debts and such? Some here have rich parents but it's not the case for most. It's however more possible to hide a long term presence in the sex industry if a sex worker had another career on the side, either full or part time. It's also possible to hide it when they did this for just a few years, one or two years while they were going to school, for instance.

But I personally don't want to hide it; it's part of my life experience, it's part of me, I can't hide it to a partner. It wouldn't be my partner is I wanted to hide it.

I think the original poster is naive.

When you look at the bottom 25 percent of society, and really the bottom 50 percent, you don’t find many attractive, shapely, self-confident women in it.

Most successful long-term escorts are attractive and self-confident, and to top it all off, they have rubbed shoulders with, and in fact have rubbed their hands over the penises, of a great number of people who can help them with jobs. They don’t even need a resume. And the selling and marketing skills from escorting often do translate well into other jobs.

For LeoList ladies, that might not be the case, but they usually aren’t competing for the best jobs in the world, anyway. Just like they never tried to get to the highest-earning rates in the escort world. Christ, if you can fix a good sandwich at the cafe at age 50, nobody is going to ask you what you did between ages 20-50. They are just happy somebody took the job, does it well, and shows up to work.

Some people still believe all the shit they taught you in school about how your life needs to progress and how you will be evaluated based on your achievements each step of the way. Unless you are in a highly technical profession that changes constantly, that is bullshit. To add even more comedy, the Economist Magazine actually did an excellent study about how good looks actually increases your lifetime earnings power. It was a hell of a lot of an increase. Your ugly bitch sixth grade teacher never told you how life really works.

 

[PvtJoker]

An interesting corollary would be to ask the ladies how they would feel about starting a long term relationship with a guy that used to see prostitutes on a regular basis.

 

[Josephine]

An interesting corollary would be to ask the ladies how they would feel about starting a long term relationship with a guy that used to see prostitutes on a regular basis.

First, you guys rarely ever retire from seeing us.

Second, its not about judging you. It's that the discount that you have when you end up fucking us for free, will be applied on another girl's services. There is no point of ever stop charging a client.

 

[Robert Mugabe]

There are two problems with telling someone you were a sex worker.

1. they have issue with the body count for the reasons we all know. They want to know how many were bigger and better then them and they get it stuck in their head.

or

2. they expect sex all the time. When they want, how they want, etc. They think because you did it as job, you will do it like that at home. Not realizing it was a JOB.

At least this is what I have heard some women complain about.

They think because you did it as job, you will do it like that at home. Not realizing it was a JOB.

You sound like a wife.

 

[Luke737]

An interesting corollary would be to ask the ladies how they would feel about starting a long term relationship with a guy that used to see prostitutes on a regular basis.

There’s a difference between the crave for sex that a man has and that of a woman. With men, it’s purely physical. They need it to keep their head straight. If they’re not hobbying, they’re seeing other people, placing a lot of demand on the one woman they’re with, or in extreme cases, resorting to other vices- drugs, alcohol, pornography. There are also the monks who are considered abnormal.

With women, they want, not need, sex. What they need is love, connection, attention. Sex helps them attain and complete these needs.

So when you go comparing the sides by asking your question, you must first consider this foundation. A woman with a high body count does not have the same reason as a man with a high body count.The man is simply hobbying, the woman is either working or suffering from some mental issue.

 

[Patron]

There’s a difference between the crave for sex that a man has and that of a woman. With men, it’s purely physical. They need it to keep their head straight. If they’re not hobbying, they’re seeing other people, placing a lot of demand on the one woman they’re with, or in extreme cases, resorting to other vices- drugs, alcohol, pornography. There are also the monks who are considered abnormal.

With women, they want, not need, sex. What they need is love, connection, attention. Sex helps them attain and complete these needs.

So when you go comparing the sides by asking your question, you must first consider this foundation. A woman with a high body count does not have the same reason as a man with a high body count.The man is simply hobbying, the woman is either working or suffering from some mental issue.

You are parroting back the general stereotypes of men and women, which are often used to condemn sex workers and generate questions like how do we integrate these wicked women back into society.

There have been plenty of threads asking the legitimate question of whether those highly favorable stereotypes about women are accurate, i.e., the theory that they are programmed for unconditional, faithful love with one man forever. Certainly that is what we are all taught, but I am doubtful.

I do genuinely believe that women are generally slightly more intelligent than men, especially during their teens and twenties, and capable of greater manipulation. I also think they are capable of more unconditional love toward their children. The female is almost always present during childrearing and able to provide life advice to female children.

Women who want children face a couple of dilemmas. The time spent during pregnancy and early child rearing significantly lessens their earning power. Not only during that period of time, but in the modern world, the lack of doing “higher-level” skilled work during that time lowers their earnings even later in life. They also face the often unmentionable dilemma that they are not as physically desirable during the last half, or at least the last third, of their lives to potential new mates.

So in the more traditional role of wife / mother, early mate selection is very important to obtain a spouse who will provide love and security and money to her for a lifetime.

Entire subsystems are present. Certainly in divorce systems that greatly favor the female mother. But also in the elaborate nature of first weddings in the church. Second weddings? Society says to just go to the fucking courthouse, and for god‘s sake, don’t wear white.

Our current system of educating women with them being able to earn enough to support themselves, coupled with the decline in marriage, throws a bit of a wrench into this stereotypical worshipping of the pure female who provides such unconditional love to her one lifelong mate as well as to her children. And it is entirely possible that there is no actual difference between women who sell sex for cash, versus those who don’t. A couple of noted singers and singing groups have explored this via song. Just don’t spoil the illusion for the Italian Catholics.

 

[Jenesis]

They think because you did it as job, you will do it like that at home. Not realizing it was a JOB.

You sound like a wife.

I’m no wife. Never want to be. Never will be. Sorry but I’m not a free slave. LOL.

 

[Robert Mugabe]

I’m no wife. Never want to be. Never will be. Sorry but I’m not a free slave. LOL.

There ya go. That's what I'm talking about.

 

[Luke737]

You are parroting back the general stereotypes of men and women, which are often used to condemn sex workers and generate questions like how do we integrate these wicked women back into society.

There have been plenty of threads asking the legitimate question of whether those highly favorable stereotypes about women are accurate, i.e., the theory that they are programmed for unconditional, faithful love with one man forever. Certainly that is what we are all taught, but I am doubtful.

I do genuinely believe that women are generally slightly more intelligent than men, especially during their teens and twenties, and capable of greater manipulation. I also think they are capable of more unconditional love toward their children. The female is almost always present during childrearing and able to provide life advice to female children.

Women who want children face a couple of dilemmas. The time spent during pregnancy and early child rearing significantly lessens their earning power. Not only during that period of time, but in the modern world, the lack of doing “higher-level” skilled work during that time lowers their earnings even later in life. They also face the often unmentionable dilemma that they are not as physically desirable during the last half, or at least the last third, of their lives to potential new mates.

So in the more traditional role of wife / mother, early mate selection is very important to obtain a spouse who will provide love and security and money to her for a lifetime.

Entire subsystems are present. Certainly in divorce systems that greatly favor the female mother. But also in the elaborate nature of first weddings in the church. Second weddings? Society says to just go to the fucking courthouse, and for god‘s sake, don’t wear white.

Our current system of educating women with them being able to earn enough to support themselves, coupled with the decline in marriage, throws a bit of a wrench into this stereotypical worshipping of the pure female who provides such unconditional love to her one lifelong mate as well as to her children. And it is entirely possible that there is no actual difference between women who sell sex for cash, versus those who don’t. A couple of noted singers and singing groups have explored this via song. Just don’t spoil the illusion for the Italian Catholics.

I sympathize with your advocacy for women. Life, sometimes, doesn’t seem fair. But we all have to play the cards we’re dealt.

I’m not parroting anyone. What I stated earlier is what I’ve discovered for myself.

To stay on topic, it’s common to hear people say that women age quicker than men. That’s obviously because women learn early to be transactional in romantic relationships- there’s a lot on line. While young men worry about other frivolous things, women think long term- provision, protection.

The career woman usually gets to her middle years and still envy the stay at home mom. It’s obvious why- most women want, more than anything, to be mothers. It’s part and parcel of their nature. There will always be outliers and they get no judgements from me. Asides wanting to be a mother, they want a man to hold them and tell them that he loves them and that he’ll be there for them. It is this man they want sex with, not every John or a random John that won’t play the other roles I highlighted.

Bottom Line: It’s not judgement or stereotype to say that a woman may struggle mentally, the higher the body count . It’s just not part of their nature. That’s more what a man can handle because he attributes no emotion to sex, it’s purely physical for him. There will always be exceptions but this is the average.

 

[Patron]

I sympathize with your advocacy for women. Life, sometimes, doesn’t seem fair. But we all have to play the cards we’re dealt.

I’m not parroting anyone. What I stated earlier is what I’ve discovered for myself.

To stay on topic, it’s common to hear people say that women age quicker than men. That’s obviously because women learn early to be transactional in romantic relationships- there’s a lot on line. While young men worry about other frivolous things, women think long term- provision, protection.

The career woman usually gets to her middle years and still envy the stay at home mom. It’s obvious why- most women want, more than anything, to be mothers. It’s part and parcel of their nature. There will always be outliers and they get no judgements from me. Asides wanting to be a mother, they want a man to hold them and tell them that he loves them and that he’ll be there for them. It is this man they want sex with, not every John or a random John that won’t play the other roles I highlighted.

Bottom Line: It’s not judgement or stereotype to say that a woman may struggle mentally, the higher the body count . It’s just not part of their nature. That’s more what a man can handle because he attributes no emotion to sex, it’s purely physical for him. There will always be exceptions but this is the average.

The sex worker that takes your observation to heart and decides to give up her current life for motherhood should read and listen to some of these comments to have additional perspective. Although many are already mothers, often escorting to pay their expensive costs, a great number of them will have happy child-free lives. Perhaps you have encountered relatively more “traditional” women in your life.

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And for what it is worth, I think mistakes sex workers are from backgrounds where a huge support system doesn’t exist. They have to take care of themselves and they do so entrepreneurially, and often do it well. But one practical issue with childrearing in today’s world is that a huge family support network is often needed to raise kids. That is why so many parents are burned out and stressed out to the max. Not sure getting married (to a make) and having some kids to raise is really a great answer for a large percentage of them, or that it would make them happier. Just my opinion.