That I can't understand. I have a couple of aunts who have both been married for nearly 60 and I can't tolerate either of them for more than 5 minutes. They're both nuts.
How do you married guys do it?
- Thread starter kkelso
- Start date
Do you guys lay down the law with the wives by being assertive from the day you first met them? Doesn't the thought/fear or divorce make you guys back down?
No. I will walk if that shit starts and my wife would too. Never fawn over them like they walk on water. Be a person with morals, I have walked before and would do it again if I had to.
This is EXACTELY why I'm not married.... I would never put up with that crap. Which is why I showed girlfriends the door when they start showing hints of this behaviour. Better to exit before I get trapped for someone to make my life hell.
I don't think all marriages are all like this. As I certainly haven't seen this dynamic with my parents. Having said that I do see this by majority and its simply a standard I refuse to accept.
The question is: Why put up with that attitude from a supposed supportive and loving spouse?
Better alone than in 'bad company', I say.
..and yes, I am not married. I'd rather be dead.
Maybe your cousin needs to grow a set. Not excusing her behaviour but it also could be the time of the year - generally people are exhausted from the hectic pace of the holiday season and they get irritable.
I have to be honest this isn't just a woman thing. In several friend/family relationships, I have seen a few husbands antagonize their spouses too.
I have to be honest this isn't just a woman thing. In several friend/family relationships, I have seen a few husbands antagonize their spouses too.
I'm married and am pretty easy going.We're had ups and downs and she's gone this route with me a few times.As have a few relationships in the past.I personally don't care most of the time if it's just her and I.Couples snipe every now and then HOWEVER,(and this goes for any situation wife,sister,mom, buddy)if she tries that shit on me in front of a audience i go alpha male pretty fucking quickly.I'd imagine if he called her on it in front of everyone the looks on their faces would give her cause for pause.If the OP noticed , everyone did.
No ! Don't go there !! Better to keep silent and let her know your thoughts afterwards in private, And how childish she looked. That's a true Alpha Male. An alpha male will never make a spectacle in public !!
This topic is all to familiar to me. I like to think that most marriages are based more on mutual respect, and that other thing... uh... love, as opposed to control games. But sadly my marriage is a reflection of the original post... which is why I hobby! Soon enough I'll be moving on though, when the timing is right for me.
In some circles it probably is.
What hubby should do is change the game. Hold her to account for what she says.
He: Looks like it might snow
She: It's not going to snow, you're never right about that
He: The weather will happen regardless of what anyone thinks. I'd like to know why you needed to announce that I'm never right about that.
She: Because it's true.
He: Maybe so, but why the need to announce I'm never right? What are you trying to achieve?
He: I think they'll pick up garbage on Friday
She: They won't pick it up, you thought that last year too
He: Why are you bringing up a mistake I made a year ago? What are you trying to achieve? If you don't have confidence in me, then perhaps you should be on garbage duty.
That's another approach. Next time wifey drops a bomb, hubby should simply say, sincerely and without sarcasm or attitude 'Thank you for your attempt to be loving and supportive. It means a lot to me. Especially when you could have stayed quiet.'
Then if he had the strength, go and give her a hug and a kiss. This would mess her up so much she might shit herself. This is the essence of the phrase Love your enemy. You could also call it fighting fire with water. With this new reaction, how much longer would she continue dropping bombs?
One size does not fit all situations. Hubby ought would know which would be more effective. If wifey has no qualms about treating her husband like shit when others are around, that's probably the way to go.
I have a female relative who has a history of speaking inappropriately, and a number of times I told her privately when she crossed the line. Then one day she made a very unfunny comment to family and friends about me, in front of me, at an event that I was hosting. I went alpha male on her right then and there, telling her that dissing a host is no way for a guest to behave. And being family does not somehow make it okay. I was a little more expressive, both verbally and emotionally. Several weeks later she phoned to apologize, and I had to pick myself up off the floor. Point is, this needed to be done to her in public so she could not so easily ignore it. Now she knows that shitting on me is not free anymore. She will end up having to pay. As for me, I never felt better about my relationship with this woman. Things between us are much more civil.
If wifey has issues with hubby, she should be grown up enough to discuss them in a grown up way. Ditto hubby.
If you always do what you always do, then you'll always get what you always get.
And what does a female relative have to do with Wifey as you call them ??? I've called out plenty of my Italian female cousins for speaking out inappropriately !! Difference is, I don't have to go home with them !!!
Women are moody. That's why they're women.
When woman is negative mood or stressed, they hen peck.
The situation described in the dinner party is typical hen pecking.
Remember your own mother? Did mom ever hen peck yourself or dear old dad? Did you or dad blow a gasket when the hen pecking started, or just get use to it, just wait it out, as it always finishes itself out. Mom always gets exhausted eventually, but got it all out. Do something nice for her next, and she all smiles, and loves you a lot.
That is a relationship.
If you cannot stand it, the hen pecking, the moody state of a woman, you are not ready for a real relationship. Period.
That's why some guys, prefer a dog or a cat over a woman for a companion, someone to some home to. You know, dog and cat, have some mood when you come home, dog jumps up, yes yes yes! while cat - meh.
That's why it is logical to find guys orders real life sized dolls from Japan. No moods at all.
Logically, that is the perfect relationship.
:hippie:
When woman is negative mood or stressed, they hen peck.
The situation described in the dinner party is typical hen pecking.
Remember your own mother? Did mom ever hen peck yourself or dear old dad? Did you or dad blow a gasket when the hen pecking started, or just get use to it, just wait it out, as it always finishes itself out. Mom always gets exhausted eventually, but got it all out. Do something nice for her next, and she all smiles, and loves you a lot.
That is a relationship.
If you cannot stand it, the hen pecking, the moody state of a woman, you are not ready for a real relationship. Period.
That's why some guys, prefer a dog or a cat over a woman for a companion, someone to some home to. You know, dog and cat, have some mood when you come home, dog jumps up, yes yes yes! while cat - meh.
That's why it is logical to find guys orders real life sized dolls from Japan. No moods at all.
Logically, that is the perfect relationship.
:hippie:
It's not that abnormal, really!
Every married couple have their own way of keeping and enjoying the relationship. It might come across somewhat strange when you only see it for a few days but as long as they're happy. In this case yeah it seems like the wife is always giving the hubby shit but who knows maybe the man is still making all the important household decision and doesn't bother dealing with whether she's right on what the weather tomorrow is.
In life I learnt (the real hard way) that people who come across happy and always cheerful are actually not that happy... and a person who looks worried and frowning all the time may not necessarily be an unhappy person. The same applies here.
Every married couple have their own way of keeping and enjoying the relationship. It might come across somewhat strange when you only see it for a few days but as long as they're happy. In this case yeah it seems like the wife is always giving the hubby shit but who knows maybe the man is still making all the important household decision and doesn't bother dealing with whether she's right on what the weather tomorrow is.
In life I learnt (the real hard way) that people who come across happy and always cheerful are actually not that happy... and a person who looks worried and frowning all the time may not necessarily be an unhappy person. The same applies here.
Oh really, where I come from there are moods !! And I need them. Its all part of the attraction !!
Never once have I settled for a woman, no matter how much she catered to me, other than her having Character !!!!
But that's all they are "Dolls". Might as well go to the sex store and pic one up, for a lot less money.
My wife does it all the time. Even withholds sex when I don't act perfect toward her. I was so pissed I let her major birthday go by with just a minor treatment. Still, we are the only ones I know that have been married as long as we have. Every married man goes through it, some more than others.
