I am a little surprised with the retorts from people on here, I thought that this would just be buried in the pages of the Lounge by now. The odd fat joke was to be expected but the support from other SP's, clients and members of Team Cupid has been something very great for how I feel right now.
I am here, sitting on my couch and haven't had a morsel of food other then a few broth soups and protein shakes. So far I am down a whopping 7 pounds which is mainly water weight. Already my one of my pairs of jeans aren't fitting properly and I was able to wear a belt today that I haven't worn in four years.
So; a little background on me and my weight. I was very slender until I was about 22. I went though something that was very personal and difficult and I started packing on the pounds in a short amount of time. Within six months I went from 138 to 189. It was shocking to see the difference, my face shape was the biggest difference, my defined cheekbones and jaw line were softened and my DD breasts jumped to a FF cup. My weight went up and down within 15 pounds of this for sometime. At the age 25 I went on Dr. Bernstein and lost 27 lbs in two months and I looked great in the shadows but the near starvation diet was killing me, my face was gaunt and I had little colour. I looked extremely unhealthy and I decided to get off Bernstein and accept my size. Funnily enough my breasts stayed at this behemoth size and actually got bigger. I looked a little like a cartoon character because my legs are muscular, I have almost no bum and my lower stomach isn't too big. My upper stomach and breasts were massive. I looked like an inverted pear shape. Buying clothes is near impossible, they don't make dresses for girls like me. Blouses buckle in the bust and most skirts would near fall off because of my lack of booty. Buying a winter coat was a daunting task because nothing would zip past the 52 inch bust line and I would look like a beached whale wearing a mu mu because of how they would fall.
I did accept the way I look. I have an amazing love life; the men that I have dated over the years have loved my shape as it accents who I am well. I liked my curves and only found buying clothing to be hard, no other part of being a bigger girl was hard. The odd time I would get sneers from strangers or the odd douche bag comment from someone but I didn't really care because I was happy. I was a pretty awesome chubby chick, inside and out.
This past summer I turned 30. The dreaded age of women when we start to think about our future and the thoughts of bearing children become a fore front issue. After visiting fertility clinics and dealing with doctors I was told that even those extra 40-55lbs could cause me great issue with child bearing. That combined with a few other outside issues I decided it was time to do something about my extra weight.
I started the research on to weight loss. I knew I didn't want to do anything that would permanently change my body like bypass or Lap Band. I dated someone who was once 6'5, weighed 450lbs and had bypass and lost 200lbs in a short amount of time. I met him after the surgery and to be honest, the extra skin was pretty bad. He had "moobs" (man boobs) that laid all around his back. His stomach hung with 20lbs of skin and although I loved him dearly it was very difficult to be intimate with him if there were lights on. I knew that based on that I wanted a surgery that would be slower in weight loss and I didn't want to have to undergo the pain and recovery he had told me about. He had wanted to get the skin removed from his stomach and moob area but the surgery would be about $10,000 and as a graphic designer he just didn't have the funds to do it.
I decided I wanted to talk to a plastic surgeon who could do a breast reduction and lipo. I spoke with a lot of people and decided to seek the assistance of Dr. Lista of The Plastic Surgery Clinic in Port Credit. When I got to the consult the doctor was amazing. He said that I had a great shape and lipo wouldn't give me the results that I wanted. He suggested Dr. Mumford of the same clinic to discuss Balloon or Lap Band. I booked the consult and searched all over Google for all the info that I could find. About a month ago I decided that The Balloon was right for me and heck, it is $8k cheaper the Lap Band. I met with Dr. Mumford who was a total sweetheart, he looked at my BMI and talked to me in depth about the surgery, recovery and process that this surgery has. I grabbed my Master Card from my bag and slapped it on the table and said "book it". I went and got the go ahead from my GP and a physical. Dr. Mumford told me wait for the breast reduction because my massive mammories will shrink in the coming months *sniff* and at that point I should get a lift and/or reduction.
I am doing this for myself. Hell, if outside influcenses mattered I would have canceled the surgery but this is for me, Jillian. It is for my health and the future.
Yeah, Mr. Cupid 4.0 isn't too happy but I can't please everyone, right? I have many more redeaming qualities then some chub and an awesome set of curves and he knows it. I am sure that if we were to end it wont be because of my weight and his desire to have some handles to grab on to. He has though stated very clearly that I shouldn't have anything else done and as long as this is what I want he will support me. I like his care, he is being pretty excellent taking care of me, holding my hair back as I have been ill from the codeine and getting me cold presses, making sure I am well and even has restrained from ravishing me like he usually does so I can heal without any issue.
Team Cupid has been awesome. Kelly, Katie and Kyra especially; each of them shared their concern and have all kept a close eye. Tomorrow I go back to work for the first time and I miss it. After watching Nip/Tuck, Rescue Me and most of the recent Blockbuster flicks I am so ready to get back to my usual routine.
So to answer a few questions - yes, this is healthy. I am under the constant eye of a dietitian and doctor. Balloon surgery is not covered by OHIP and it is pricey, $8500. Dr. Mumford is the doctor who did the surgery and I think he is one of the best doctors I have encountered (I used to work in the plastic surgery field in my early twenties so I know who is good and who isn't).
Anyhow, I will update this in a few weeks and let you know whats happening.
Jillian the not as fat as I was last week chick
