Is there a double standard when ...

[sweetiepieexo]

There's a huge difference between a girl choosing who she sees and a choice of service she provides. If that's what you meant - it wasn't clear.

If you were referring to service, then Yes, a girl absolutely has a choice and threats of any kind from a client are not acceptable.

My poll is about whether or not girls have the right to choose who they see. It had nothing to do with services. Although since you brought it up , guys need to remember services are offered not promised and good hygiene is a must to get said services ( bbbj , cim , kissing , etc)

My last question in my initial post was " Do girls have a right to choose who they see just like the guys do ?".

I apologize if it wasn't clear what I was talking about.

 

[IFUSEEKAMY]

You’re being perfectly clear @sweetiepieexo

Yes, ofcourse each person involved in a potential date has the right to say yes or no.

And yes, I have seen a glaringly obvious increase these past couple years in people feeling rejected and not handling it well at all. It doesn’t seem to matter that anybody I say no to I try and do it in the most polite sweet way possible. Even if I don’t know them at all and am just basing my decision on the words they have chosen to represent themselves with, it usually winds up with someone coming on here or elsewhere online and making snide comments about me, someone they’ve never met! Sheesh! But it seems it’s the only avenue they feel they can express their discontent.

When I first ventured into this and sensed a bad vibe, I used to find excuses not to say anything outright and just hope the person moved on. But I have realized that it’s not fair to someone to keep them wondering why you’re ignoring their messages. I feel maybe if I’m honest with them, there’s a small chance they will rethink their approach and the next person they reach out to will benefit.

There is a right fit for everybody and just because someone thinks they’ll be a good fit with me, isn’t always the case. Everyone involved is taking a chance, but I’m still the one who is not even 5ft tall, inviting a stranger into my home and having access to my body, mind, time etc. I have to do what I feel is right. I cannot be worried about the other person taking it like a personal insult to them.

This past summer I was talking to somebody with whom I had a really bad feeling. My side of the conversation had paragraphs of text, their’s had one or two word responses. I tried so hard to make the potential date happen, but even when asking specific questions all I got back was “ok” and a complete disregard of everything I was saying. I had to go with my gut and say they needed to find someone better suited to their style. Their response was utter disbelief I was turning them down. I found out afterwords that they disliked several key elements about me but still tried to book cuz …lord knows why. I honestly believed at the time and now more so that I was saving them their time, money and effort by going through with a date which could have potentially been horrendous. Will they ever see it this way? Most likely not. Oh well! It’s not my responsibility.

I know that if I force myself to be in a situation with someone I know I’m not gunna have fun with, nobody is going to be happy. I’m robbing them of a potential awesome date with someone else. I’m jeopardizing my own mental and physical well-being. And I’m disrespecting the awesome men and women who are a great fit for me by giving my time and effort away to someone mismatched.

Recently I was having a conversation with someone with whom I wasn’t getting the right vibe. They were most likely busy/distracted but there was no way for me to know that for sure. I said something, and they responded in the perfect manner. We met, had an awesome date and I’m just so very glad I chose to see them cuz they’re a reeeally nice person and skilled as well. If I hadn’t spoken up, I wouldn’t have given them a chance to prove they were completely worth my time and more.

I’m deliberately choosing people to be intimate with who will actually get something from what I can give them. For the rest, there are plenty of women wayyyy hotter who will only be too happy to be with them. All I can hope for is that they find each other, have fun and let go of their grudge against me saying thanks but no thanks.

 

[sweetiepieexo]

You’re being perfectly clear @sweetiepieexo

Yes, ofcourse each person involved in a potential date has the right to say yes or no.

And yes, I have seen a glaringly obvious increase these past couple years in people feeling rejected and not handling it well at all. It doesn’t seem to matter that anybody I say no to I try and do it in the most polite sweet way possible. Even if I don’t know them at all and am just basing my decision on the words they have chosen to represent themselves with, it usually winds up with someone coming on here or elsewhere online and making snide comments about me, someone they’ve never met! Sheesh! But it seems it’s the only avenue they feel they can express their discontent.

When I first ventured into this and sensed a bad vibe, I used to find excuses not to say anything outright and just hope the person moved on. But I have realized that it’s not fair to someone to keep them wondering why you’re ignoring their messages. I feel maybe if I’m honest with them, there’s a small chance they will rethink their approach and the next person they reach out to will benefit.

There is a right fit for everybody and just because someone thinks they’ll be a good fit with me, isn’t always the case. Everyone involved is taking a chance, but I’m still the one who is not even 5ft tall, inviting a stranger into my home and having access to my body, mind, time etc. I have to do what I feel is right. I cannot be worried about the other person taking it like a personal insult to them.

This past summer I was talking to somebody with whom I had a really bad feeling. My side of the conversation had paragraphs of text, their’s had one or two word responses. I tried so hard to make the potential date happen, but even when asking specific questions all I got back was “ok” and a complete disregard of everything I was saying. I had to go with my gut and say they needed to find someone better suited to their style. Their response was utter disbelief I was turning them down. I found out afterwords that they disliked several key elements about me but still tried to book cuz …lord knows why. I honestly believed at the time and now more so that I was saving them their time, money and effort by going through with a date which could have potentially been horrendous. Will they ever see it this way? Most likely not. Oh well! It’s not my responsibility.

I know that if I force myself to be in a situation with someone I know I’m not gunna have fun with, nobody is going to be happy. I’m robbing them of a potential awesome date with someone else. I’m jeopardizing my own mental and physical well-being. And I’m disrespecting the awesome men and women who are a great fit for me by giving my time and effort away to someone mismatched.

Recently I was having a conversation with someone with whom I wasn’t getting the right vibe. They were most likely busy/distracted but there was no way for me to know that for sure. I said something, and they responded in the perfect manner. We met, had an awesome date and I’m just so very glad I chose to see them cuz they’re a reeeally nice person and skilled as well. If I hadn’t spoken up, I wouldn’t have given them a chance to prove they were completely worth my time and more.

I’m deliberately choosing people to be intimate with who will actually get something from what I can give them. For the rest, there are plenty of women wayyyy hotter who will only be too happy to be with them. All I can hope for is that they find each other, have fun and let go of their grudge against me saying thanks but no thanks.

Best post by far. This is exactly my view point on this and like you I have turned guys down only to be called " bitch , whore , etc " and to have them threaten me with bad reviews.


Like you I have had similar experiences. Thank you for your post !.

 

[Jenesis]

How would you poll an instance where a provider chooses to cancel a booking with a client already waiting at a meeting location?

How about a poll where a girl takes a donation, then chooses not to provide a good service because she isn't into a client?

How about a poll where such a girl gets a bad review on TERB, then comes here and gives "Her side of the story" by bashing a client?

IMO, it's not as easy as a YES or a NO poll.

How about you start threads on those polls yourself? What do they have do with THIS question?

I wrote a thread a few months ago about turning a guy away at the door. Why? Because he had a fever and I take temperatures at the door.

Are you really saying I should have still seen him anyways and risked my health? Because by ignoring THIS question and replying defensively, it is basically saying women don’t have the right to choose and I don’t want to think that is what you are saying.

Yours are important topics too, don’t get me wrong. Ones that have been discussed in length but you are more then welcome to post threads and polls about them. By choosing not to answer this question and instead respond with what impacts you, is selfishly ignoring what impacts us. If you want a cooperative relationship between escorts and clients or at least want us to be understanding to your issues, you have to be able to be open to our issues. This is one of them. So let’s discuss this in this thread and you or someone else can start a thread about your concerns and we escorts can jump in there and give our opinion about those topics.

 

[Drakarys]

How about you start threads on those polls yourself? What do they have do with THIS question?

I wrote a thread a few months ago about turning a guy away at the door. Why? Because he had a fever and I take temperatures at the door.

Are you really saying I should have still seen him anyways and risked my health? Because by ignore THIS question, is basically saying women don’t have the right to choose and I don’t want to think that is what you are saying.

Yours are important topics too, don’t get me wrong. Ones that have been discussed in length but you are more then welcome to post threads and polls about them. By choosing not to answer this question and instead respond with what impacts you, is selfishly ignoring what impacts us. If you want a cooperative relationship between escorts and clients or at least want us to be understanding to your issues, you have to be able to be open to our issues. This is one of them. So let’s discuss this in this thread and you or someone else can start a thread about your concerns and we escorts can jump in there and give our opinion about those topics.

Jen, perhaps read all my posts in this thread.

I did say that Yes, girls generally get to choose, especially if there's an alarming reason to do so.

I was simply highlighting the fact that it's not a simple Yes or No in such a poll.

What I did notice is that there are opposite perspectives (provider vs client) and we don't necessarily hear or even want to hear each other.

 

[Jenesis]

Jen, perhaps read all my posts in this thread.

I did say that Yes, girls generally get to choose, especially if there's an alarming reason to do so.

I was simply highlighting the fact that it's not a simple Yes or No in such a poll.

What I did notice is that there are opposite perspectives (provider vs client) and we don't necessarily hear or even want to hear each other.

I did read all your post but I don’t think you read mine or at least didn’t understand my point. So let me break it down.

You listed being declined at the door as if it is against the client but I just showed you why a girl can choose so the answer to your question, how about when a client is at the location- yes. That should have been your answer. It is an easy one.

You listed being given poor service or denied a service - that is not “choosing” unless for hygiene but that is not what you wrote. You said not into the client. So you are talking service related issues, not the same thing. So requires its own topic

You brought up an escorts rebuttal to a bad review, that is not related to this topic at all, has nothing to do with an escort choosing because the deed is already done. In my humble opinion, that shows your post as the “us vrs them” mentality that is not helpful to a thread like this or the industry for that matter and is an act of defensiveness instead of open conversation.

My point remains. Talk about this topic and what examples you would agree would see the escort able to choose. Then start threads on those other topics that are service related. Because that is not this.

I hope you understand what I am trying to say. You are posting defensively and making this more of a divided topic then what it needs to be.

“Whatabout-ism” is a victim stance to an argument, not an open dialogue. Let’s talk, not fight. That is what helps stop the us vrs them mentality.

PS - in the post I quoted there is absolutely nothing about yes girls generally get to choose, especially if there's an alarming reason to do so. It was that is it not an easy answer and you just gave examples. Maybe I missed another post but the one I quoted had nothing in it.

 

[hamermill]

A woman's body belongs to her and only her - her choice end of discussion.

 

[Drakarys]

I did read all your post but I don’t think you read mine or at least didn’t understand my point. So let me break it down.

You listed being declined at the door as if it is against the client but I just showed you why a girl can choose so the answer to your question, how about when a client is that the location- yes. That should have been your answer. It is an easy one.

You listed being given poor service or denied a service - that is not “choosing” unless for hygiene but that is not what you wrote. You said not into the client. So you are talking service related issues, not the same thing. So requires its own topic

You brought up an escorts rebuttal to a bad review, that is not related to this topic at all, has nothing to do with and escort choosing because the deed is already done. In my humble opinion, that shows your post as the “us vrs them” mentality that is not helpful to a thread like this or the industry for that matter and is an act of defensiveness instead of open conversation.

My point remains. Talk about this topic and what examples you would agree would see the escort able to choose. Then start threads on those other topics that are service related. Because that is not this.

I hope you understand what I am trying to say. You are posting defensively and making this more of a divided topic then what it needs to be.

“Whatabout-ism” is a victim stance to an argument, not an open dialogue. Let’s talk, not fight. That is what helps stop the us vrs them mentality.

I get it. Girls refuse service and get called names, bad reviews, threatned etc. It's ugly.

I'm not being offensive or defensive or us vs them or whatever you want to call it.

Girl's body - girl's choice... sure... until she chooses to make profit from it.

You say I'm off topic. Well, I disagree.

I will try to make last attempt to relay what I meant all along.

Imagine going to a hair salon. You arrive and service is refused. If a reason given is a fever, cough or absence of a face mask and business in mandated to enforce masks, then a reason for service refusal is clear. Once you're healthy or have a mask on, you may enter and receive service. However, if a service is refused just because, then you'll have a sour taste in your mouth and some may voice their opinions in a negative manner.

How about going to a doctor? Let's say gynecologist. You visit a doc once, but on your second visit a service is refused without much explanation given. How would you feel?

What if some other business refused services to you?

Can they all refuse service? Absolutely!

Should they? In what manner? It would depend, wouldn't it? And that's my point!

 

[Robert Mugabe]

Kind of just reaffirms what I knew all along.

 

[rhuarc29]

It may be a mindset ingrained in our society. For instance, if I were to refuse to serve someone because I had a bad feeling about them, I could very well be dragged through court for discrimination. It's generally frowned upon to deny service unless the customer is blatantly be threatening or posing a health risk to me.

Obviously escorting is slightly different, and more personal.
I personally think *any* business or service provider should be able to deny service for any reason, but I don't think a human rights tribunal would agree with me! lol
Nor would I personally deny service except for serious reasons. But that's my stance.

 

[fall]

To be honest, you shouldn’t even have to ask this.

Your body, Your choice.

Say it to the government that makes vaccination mandatory.

 

[Jenesis]

Can they all refuse service? Absolutely!

Should they? In what manner? It would depend, wouldn't it? And that's my point!

So long story short, your answer is yes and the rest is just about hurt feelings? Is that right?

I didn’t think we were talking about “just because”. I didn’t see where that was anywhere in this. Which is why I feel your rebuttal was off topic.

 

[fall]

A woman's body belongs to her and only her - her choice end of discussion.

An Uber car belongs to the driver and only to the driver: would it be OK for him to refuse service for someone (except in the case when the client wears a cloth that can stain/damage the car)? I would say yes for both the Uber driver and SP, but both of them will get deserved negative review to alert future clients and may lose some business. So, yes, girls have the right o refuse and refused clients hae the right to write bad honest revies to alert others.

 

[kherg007]

I don't know about you lot, but if a women is visibly not into me for any reason (or she can't fake it as well as my regs fake their attraction to my over the hill self lol) I don't want to be there. It's a clear recipe for a subpar session. So I don't worry if they say no, or are hesitant. Too many lovelies in the GTA.

 

[Fun For All]

Hi everyone.

I dont normally post much but a certain text exchange recently made Me want to ask the question

Is there a double standard when it comes to girls choosing who they see . I always thought that guys choose who they see so why can't the ladies ?

I find that sometimes when girls turn down guys they get threatened with bad reviews . Why is that ? Could it be ego ? Could it be that this guy has been rejected before and is tired of it happening ?

What are your thoughts on this? Do girls have a right to choose who they see just like the guys do ?

Am i getting his right...the question is "Does an SP have the right to chose/accept who or which client they see?

I would like to hear the argument that would say "Yes, the SP must see anybody/everybody who requests too?"

 

[curr3n_c1000]

Hi everyone.

I dont normally post much but a certain text exchange recently made Me want to ask the question

Is there a double standard when it comes to girls choosing who they see . I always thought that guys choose who they see so why can't the ladies ?

I find that sometimes when girls turn down guys they get threatened with bad reviews . Why is that ? Could it be ego ? Could it be that this guy has been rejected before and is tired of it happening ?

What are your thoughts on this? Do girls have a right to choose who they see just like the guys do ?

I don't think it's a double standard at all, but overall, you have the right/freedom to do what you want. For whatever reason you don't what to peruse, that's your choice to make.

Next, It's no longer about you and more about how to deal with rejection. I believe they are trying to take revenge on to even out the emotional pain. I can't lie, being rejected by an SP is surprisingly heavy, disappointing and a bit insulting, but they got to get over it.

Finally, you shouldn't care about any man that will threaten you in any way. The conversation is now about power and manipulation. That is a dangerous situation and you should end the convo immediately and politely.

 

[jcpro]

So it is an ego thing ? I find that in this business there are tons of double standards to what women / men can do .

For example a guy can choose not to see a lady because he doesn't like her body type or services , etc.

However when a girl turns down a guy during a text exchange and there is no money lost and no time wasted except for the texting , does he have the right to threaten her with a bad review? Or should he respect her choice and just find someone else to see ?.

@Genesis those are some very good points. I think guys have to realize it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with how comfortable the sp is during the booking process.

@Jasmina , I always thought that too.

I'm just wondering, how many texts clients exchange before booking an appointment? I've never gone above 4 and they usually consist of a couple of sentences at the most.

 

[Fun For All]

I'm just wondering, how many texts clients exchange before booking an appointment? I've never gone above 4 and they usually consist of a couple of sentences at the most.

Yes, lately I've been saying "My name is jcpro from TERB, can I come over", the reply I get is "You're jcpro, I heard you're awesome, I'll move some stuff around for you".

 

[Drakarys]

So long story short, your answer is yes and the rest is just about hurt feelings? Is that right?

I didn’t think we were talking about “just because”. I didn’t see where that was anywhere in this. Which is why I feel your rebuttal was off topic.

Since when are you a simple YES or NO kinda woman??
I always thought that the devil is in the details.

I was going to use Uber/Taxi analogy, but @fall beat me to it.

I have a car. It's mine. Can do whatever I want with it. Now, if I choose to use it for business to transport people, then rules change. If I tell everyone getting into it that Hey, it's MY car, don't touch this, don't do that... well, I won't stay in that business for long.

 

[jcpro]

Yes, lately I've been saying "My name is jcpro from TERB, can I come over", the reply I get is "You're jcpro, I heard you're awesome, I'll move some stuff around for you".

I don't reveal my TERB handle, I ask about availability and confirm the price. Rarely I inquire about parking.