New and a little skeptical

[lamkam]

Hi,

Basically, I have never partaken in the "hobby" or paid a woman for affection in any way in my life before. I am looking to be with someone without the guilt of feeling like I am using them. I want it to feel natural - similar to how things felt with my previous gfs. I am 28, educated, very down to earth and laid back, and have a deep respect for women. This stems mostly from the fact that I come from a family full of women.

My question is, is it even possible for me to partake in this hobby without feeling like I am using these women. I prefer to find one woman and make it a regular thing while I remain single. Furthermore, I would prefer it if there was a connection beyond just sex. Is it possible to talk, laugh, and get to know the women a little bit before the physical intimacy? I don't think I could ever go from Hi to sex in a few minutes. Are there any women or agencies that specialize in men like myself who need to get to know the woman and like them on a deeper level before engaging in sexual intimacy?

Am I just not meant for this?

 

[wazup]

You can get to know them as long as you want in exchange for those brown bills. These girls aren`t in the socializing business, the only way you`re gonna have a meet and greet is if you pay them. We use them for sex and they use us for money, works perfectly. No, you`re not meant for this.

 

[The Saint]

You pay thee money sonny,when you get to the room say"Hi" sit on the bed or in a chair and start a conversation,talk as long as you want.You get to pick the topic and from my experience most girls can hold a conversation except for some Asians newbies.Go on chat here and start talking to a few,some are rather smart and knowledgeable.

 

[sasemohan123]

You ask for SERIOUS? IMHO:
-You have to try a few before you can settle on someone that you REALY like to have as a regular, nobody have the same taste nor can predict the connection you will need for the "long term" relationship you are looking for.
-Intimacy with a SP? Could happen, but do not expect it cause likely you will have to "share" her with many, can you handle the stress of that? Most ladies deep down want to but the nature of the bizz is the cause for all the friction between you guys. Being regular CUSTOMER will bring you some kind of illusion of intimacy, i guess.
-Last, you shouldn`t even think along this line it is dangerous way to "hobby", why don`t you just pick out ladies from the reviews that confirm she is a down-to-earth, soft, ...something that appeal to you personally, and spread your dough around and save your sanity?
https://terb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?336730-falling-in-love

I would reccommend you see Marisol@TGF, she is soft spoken, intelligent, sensual in a way of a shy girl.. plus she is good looking. Only problem is she is currently working Saturday.
http://www.torontogirlfriends.com/marisol.php

 

[Zombie]

As long as you find the right woman you can for sure have such an experience. I've had fantastic times with a number of girls with more than just sex (a few that come to mind, Kaelyn Kroft, Jezebel Valentine, Genevieve Lajoie). It really depends on the girl though, some are just in it for the cash and some really enjoy the time. I'd much prefer having a connection that just getting in and out.

 

[mb12ca]

If you have never done it before, my true advice to you would be to stay away. Once you start hobbying, it will skew how you look at the future REAL relationships.

As for making a connection, unless you are extremely handsome, very, very rich and have an amazing ability in bed, none of the girls in the industry will have any interest in you beyond the normal 'you're sweet. I like you' act that each one provides to us to make us feel good.

Hobbying can be like an addiction and it is best to not do it in the first place.

I just got back from a trip to south east asia yesterday and I spent $8,000 to have sex 12 times. I flew on 7 different planes during my trip. This was a civilian romantic endeavour only, not sp-inspired, but my point as to how my hobbying has screwed up my view on real relationships is why I reference my trip. Now, because of how hobbying has affected me, I cant become interested in a 'normal' girl, no matter how hard I try.

When you can get service in a mere number of hours with any sp you desire, everything else seems unimpressive. The other problem, on the other side of the coin, is that the more you hobby, the more you realize that sps really dont give a rats ass about you or any other client.

If you start to hobby, you will likely spend thousands of dollars and many hours of your time accomplishing next to nothing other than a fanciful way to drop a load.

Please take my advice to heart. Once you make the decision to start, it is very hard to stop. Nowadays, I dont care about any woman and I have started to turn down civilain girls I otherwise would have been delighted to be with. Think about it, at an average price of $4 per minute, is it really worth all your efforts to spend time with an sp that, 5 minutes after you leave, couldn't care less if you died in a car accident upon your trip home from an appointment.

If you dont believe me, try this as a test. Pick an sp, any sp, and see her regularly for 10 visits. Make as great a connection as you think you can, and after the 10th visit, call her up out of the blue and tell her you would like to get together and just talk and share. Then, see what she says. I guarantee you she will tell you she cant do it and that she can only see you if you agree to pay the average $4 per minute rate.

Then ask yourself, what civilian woman would you accept such conditions from. That's right! You wouldn't, because you would realize it to be a waste of your time and a type of interaction that disgusts you. So, if you wouldn't accept such conditions from any civilian woman, why put yourself in a situation where the inevitable would happen with an sp? Just so you can drop a load? At a rate of $4 per minute? With the consequence that it will skew and alter your ability to interact with 'real' women in 'real' relationships in the future? Not worth it!!!

I already made the bad choice of staring to hobby. Please take my advice. I am equivalent to the individual who tells you not to touch the stove which has been turned off because you will burn your hand. Hopefully, you are smart enough to take my advice and not test just how hot the stove actually is.

 

[Brill]

Do you currently date women? What are the reasons for you to consider hobbying, you've given some negative ones. Since you have a deep respect for women, I think you'd get along with many in the business who indicate similar interests.
You might not be satisfied with a one hour session, so consider if you can afford to go this direction.

 

[Brill]

try this as a test. Pick an sp, any sp, and see her regularly for 10 visits. Make as great a connection as you think you can, and after the 10th visit, call her up out of the blue and tell her you would like to get together and just talk and share. Then, see what she says. I guarantee you she will tell you she cant do it and that she can only see you if you agree to pay the average $4 per minute rate.

This is really a test of you, why don't you respect how she makes a living?
Would you consider a similar test for your mechanic or lawyer, waitress or barber?

 

[Questor]

You've got some good advise so far. As stated, reviews are a good place to start. Pick one that can hold a conversation and comes across as intelligent in the review. Also, pay attention to age. A 19 y/o does not come with the same maturity as a 24 y/o.

Yes, do read the link above about falling in love with an SP. There is a lot of valuable information there.

With an SP, you are paying for a fantasy. If that fantasy includes talking and getting to know each other, then many will be glad to oblige you. But there are limits to this. This is the girl's livelihood. Most will put up emotional barriers because it is emotionally draining to get involved on such a personal level in this line of work. So you will probably get varying levels of authenticity. I think you should be careful not to get burned, as you seem to be looking for more on an emotional level than you can get by the hour.

If you have never done it before, my true advice to you would be to stay away. Once you start hobbying, it will skew how you look at the future REAL relationships.

As for making a connection, unless you are extremely handsome, very, very rich and have an amazing ability in bed, none of the girls in the industry will have any interest in you beyond the normal 'you're sweet. I like you' act that each one provides to us to make us feel good.

Hobbying can be like an addiction and it is best to not do it in the first place.

I just got back from a trip to south east asia yesterday and I spent $8,000 to have sex 12 times. I flew on 7 different planes during my trip. This was a civilian romantic endeavour only, not sp-inspired, but my point as to how my hobbying has screwed up my view on real relationships is why I reference my trip. Now, because of how hobbying has affected me, I cant become interested in a 'normal' girl, no matter how hard I try.

When you can get service in a mere number of hours with any sp you desire, everything else seems unimpressive. The other problem, on the other side of the coin, is that the more you hobby, the more you realize that sps really dont give a rats ass about you or any other client.

If you start to hobby, you will likely spend thousands of dollars and many hours of your time accomplishing next to nothing other than a fanciful way to drop a load.

Please take my advice to heart. Once you make the decision to start, it is very hard to stop. Nowadays, I dont care about any woman and I have started to turn down civilain girls I otherwise would have been delighted to be with. Think about it, at an average price of $4 per minute, is it really worth all your efforts to spend time with an sp that, 5 minutes after you leave, couldn't care less if you died in a car accident upon your trip home from an appointment.

If you dont believe me, try this as a test. Pick an sp, any sp, and see her regularly for 10 visits. Make as great a connection as you think you can, and after the 10th visit, call her up out of the blue and tell her you would like to get together and just talk and share. Then, see what she says. I guarantee you she will tell you she cant do it and that she can only see you if you agree to pay the average $4 per minute rate.

Then ask yourself, what civilian woman would you accept such conditions from. That's right! You wouldn't, because you would realize it to be a waste of your time and a type of interaction that disgusts you. So, if you wouldn't accept such conditions from any civilian woman, why put yourself in a situation where the inevitable would happen with an sp? Just so you can drop a load? At a rate of $4 per minute? With the consequence that it will skew and alter your ability to interact with 'real' women in 'real' relationships in the future? Not worth it!!!

I already made the bad choice of staring to hobby. Please take my advice. I am equivalent to the individual who tells you not to touch the stove which has been turned off because you will burn your hand. Hopefully, you are smart enough to take my advice and not test just how hot the stove actually is.

From my perspective, there is some truth to the statement above. OTOH, he sounds kind of bitter. I've been going to my dentist twice a year now for 5 years. I asked her to join me for a beer after work, and she turned me down. What a bitch. She must be phoney because she was always friendly before. She doesn't care about me. Wha wha wha. See what I mean? Its business. Just because the job includes sex, and in your case, conversation and a certain level of sharing, doesn't mean that you are getting anything more than a fantasy for an hour. If your expectations exceed that, then you are treading in dangerous territory.

Oh, and the poster above paid $8000 for sex 12 times. He's obviously in way over his head. So are some other posters on this board. Others here have a little more self control and haven't gotten in so far, including me.

 

[silkfunkydiva]

You are not using us.
It is possible to have a connection with an Sp ,further than the regular business relationship.We are all human beings,and for that reason develop feelings the same as everyone else.Im sick of people on here saying we are just after the money.Yes - we get paid,however we are regular people who develop feelings.I've had 2 relationships in my life-both with ex clients.Its not something we look for but to be good at the job' you have to be able to develop some connection.I have a few regulars I really care about.I would agree though that the OP needs more than a 1 hour session to get to know a lady a little more

 

[mb12ca]

I am being very honest and sincere, not bitter. From the poster's description of himself, he will likely treat any sp very well, eventually get attached, fall in love or at least yearn to be with a particular sp he has seen too often, and in the end, get frustrated at the impossibility of having a relationship with her.

Most guys on this board start to see sps to fill a void. The problem is that such a void cant be filled by visiting an sp. It's equivalent to taking up drinking or doing hard drugs to 'solve' your problems. It never works. It only makes things worse.

As for my reference of $8,000 for sex 12 times, I am just referencing my travel costs - plane tickets, hotels, dinners etc and the number of times I actually had sex. Divide the two at it works out to $666 per session, or close to it. Now, the lady I saw really loves me and wants to get married, but I have a hard time engaging in a real relationship these days, and part of the reason, only part that is, is the life I have lived in relation to hobbying.

Regarding your mechanic, if you spent thousands of dollars to fix your car and your mechanic treated you as most sps do in regards to time off the clock, I am quite sure you wouldnt return to that mechanic.

For instance, when I owned a business, I would talk with customers whenver and wherever I saw them, regardless of whether or not I was making money from them. And I wasn't making $4 per minute either. I am not jealous, so please dont be immature and suggest such. I just realize the type of individual the op is and am advising him not to start down the path of the hobby.

I think most hobbyists would acknowledge that hobbying is not worth it. Money, time, emotional investment, potential outcomes, other effects etc., just make it an unattractive endeavour.

Maybe hobbying is the right thing for this guy, but I find many more 'I have fallen in love' or 'I can't stop' posts than 'I am so glad I made this choice' or 'this was such a smart thing to do' posts on terb. Granted, I dont visit as often as I used to, so maybe I have missed the pro posts versus the con posts, but I don't think so.

And, above all, aside from all the other pitfalls that hobbying brings upon us, the worst of them is how it changes the way we view civilain relationships/other future opportunities. Its likely equivalent to how a con-man views an honest paycheck. Because the con-man knows he can make money so much more easily by incorporating his deceitful ways, a real job for regular pay just is too hard to hold down. The real, honest work, however, is what he should be engaging in.

 

[sasemohan123]

You are not using us.

He'd be scared of you if you used the word "USING", tell him to SEE you

 

[Madeline Rhodes]

I am going to be honest and say that there are many facets to this and no one answer will be the correct one as it will be a sum of varying fractions combining all of the answers to create the whole answer for yourself.

First of all I want to say I understand where you are coming from. I get the in the interim concept and i have known more then a few who've gone this route.

Secondly I want to say that there is a very real risk of developing deep affection for someone you see regularly. Things to remember here are the following:

• This isn't a movie and there is no boy climbing up the ladder to rescue the girl and the girl rescuing him right back as a rule. There are exceptions to this but the odds are not in your favour.
• Many independents and even some agency women genuinely feel fondness, affection and even friendship for those they see. That said it is all about perspective. DO NOT see someone without financial remuneration. Even if they offer. Unless you want to lose perspective as it means perspective will be lost and someone will end up hurt. I am not saying that you might not find someone who will grab breakfast, lunch or dinner off the clock. I am saying that it is best when tied to play time, or as an occasional thing. I have genuine friends who I met through this (and especially terb) who I've adored and been friends with for years.
• Know that if an attachment forms you are as likely to have contact cut off, as you are to find a woman who may abuse it. I do not say this to be mean to other women. I say this because too many men have fallen in the pursuit of rescuing a woman. Do not encourage it, do not pursue it, and keep it in perspective. If someone wants/needs/asks for money outside of remuneration for time, or a gift of YOUR choosing then it will end badly. No matter who is asking. Remember the old adages that say "One should never loan money they can't afford to lose.", "Never pay for something for someone if you can't pay it directly.", and lastly "To give a man a fish is to feed him for a day. To teach a man to fish is to feed him for life!".

I do not say these things to put a disparaging note on the industry. I say them to put light onto human nature. There are men around this industry (both clients and other) who are just as likely to do any of these things as the women.

Human relationships and interactions are by nature messy, complex and complicated. The perspective this industry gives and the honesty it brings minimizes the impact of those complications. I often read the words that one is "paying for the fantasy", but in truth one is "paying for honesty" as you pay the woman to leave at the end, and she accepts so you do the same. If and when you meet again it is a meeting of people who've enjoyed each other but in the end you pay her to leave, and she accepts so you do the same. This brings me back to my point above: DO NOT see someone without financial remuneration. Even if they offer. It means perspective will be lost and someone will end up hurt.

I know these things because I will admit I accidentally hurt men when I was younger, and unwise. The loss of perspective on both sides was my fault, and by the time I stepped back they hurt deeply. For that I will have eternal regrets and have spent much time making amends.

I am not saying no feelings will potentially develop. It is human nature to have it happen. I am saying perspective is everything and with it you can enjoy falling a little in love, or lust and not think that it is likely to be your one true love. To be honest... Great passion and chemistry can come over and over and over in life with many people. If and when you do find that "can't eat, can't sleep, hit the ball out of the park world series kind of feeling..." it is only true if is reciprocated. Enjoy the passion and the friendships if you happen to find them, and enjoy the intimate acquaintances if you don't.

Maddie

 

[Sexaddicted]

Hi,

Basically, I have never partaken in the "hobby" or paid a woman for affection in any way in my life before. I am looking to be with someone without the guilt of feeling like I am using them. I want it to feel natural - similar to how things felt with my previous gfs. I am 28, educated, very down to earth and laid back, and have a deep respect for women. This stems mostly from the fact that I come from a family full of women.

My question is, is it even possible for me to partake in this hobby without feeling like I am using these women. I prefer to find one woman and make it a regular thing while I remain single. Furthermore, I would prefer it if there was a connection beyond just sex. Is it possible to talk, laugh, and get to know the women a little bit before the physical intimacy? I don't think I could ever go from Hi to sex in a few minutes. Are there any women or agencies that specialize in men like myself who need to get to know the woman and like them on a deeper level before engaging in sexual intimacy?

Am I just not meant for this?

From what I have read, I don't think that you are really meant for this sort of thing. Honestly you are better off not stepping into the world. Didn't you know that all of us here are fucked up? Do you really want to be - fucked up just like us? Didn't think so.

Until you can get it in your head that you are indeed USING these women as they are USING you. It is a relationship that lightens your wallet. Everything else is an illusion.

I've seen enough to know that Industry chicks could give a rats ass about you when your not a client handing over your dollars for services.

 

[5hummer]

You can advertise on Craigslist or check out SugarDaddy site?

 

[lurkerdick]

Don't fool yourself OP, you've paid for it ... you haven't realized it yet lol

 

[Don Draper]

When you meet a woman and physical intimacy is obtained through $, then you are a CLIENT. It is a business transaction and that shall be the basis of that relationship.

When you meet a woman a physical intimacy is obtained through an emotional connection, then you are in a RELATIONSHIP. It is an emotional and personal exchange of thoughts and personalities and that shall be the basis of that relationship.

The great thing is that out of both options, it is your free choice to make.

 

[lamkam]

Thank you all for your replies. I very much appreciate the fact that you have all been willing to give me a healthy dose of advice, wisdom, and a dose of reality.

Firstly, I am going to start by answering a few questions or clarify on a few things that have been mentioned/asked.

1. I have been single for a few months now. I am getting to the point that I miss being in a relationship - yes, I also miss the very regular sexual intimacy.

2. Except for one girl, I ended up dating every woman I have slept with. I guess you can say that I have trouble separating sex and love.

3. I am not looking to "reward" someone to be taken on a date by me. I understand that this is a business but I don't think there should be some pre-intimacy time for special clients like myself who will need to get to know you a little before anything happens. Sort of like how my firm takes out perspective clients to show them what value we can provide and develop mutual understanding.

4. Someone was alluding to me having paid for dates and therefore equating that with me paying for affection. Men pay for dates sometimes, but gentleman don't expect to receive anything in return - except maybe the possibility of a second date if things go well lol.

Anywho, I do feel a lot more aware of the pitfalls. I welcome any more advice or tips you may have. Part of me is somewhat excited by all of this, but my moral compass tells me that once I cross the line of paying a woman for sex I will lose my perspective on real relationships.

 

[Sexaddicted]

Thank you all for your replies. **I very much appreciate the fact that you have all been willing to give me a healthy dose of advice, wisdom, and a dose of reality.

Firstly, I am going to start by answering a few questions or clarify on a few things that have been mentioned/asked.

1. **I have been single for a few months now. **I am getting to the point that I miss being in a relationship - yes, I also miss the very regular sexual intimacy.

2. **Except for one girl, I ended up dating every woman I have slept with. **I guess you can say that I have trouble separating sex and love.

3. **I am not looking to "reward" someone to be taken on a date by me. **I understand that this is a business but I don't think there should be some pre-intimacy time for special clients like myself who will need to get to know you a little before anything happens. **Sort of like how my firm takes out peeps five clients to show them what value we can provide and develop mutual understanding.

4. **Someone was alluding to me having paid for dates and therefore equating that with me paying for affection. **Men pay for dates sometimes, but gentleman don't expect to receive anything in return - except maybe the possibility of a second date if things go well lol.

Anywho, I do feel a lot more aware of the pitfalls. **I welcome any more advice or tips you may have. **Part of me is somewhat excited by all of this, but my moral compass tells me that once I cross the line of paying a woman for sex I will lose my peeps give on real relationships.

Dude you sound like a nice guy and really and truly, I don't think this is for you. Save yourself from this by not starting, I really wish I never did. The negatives outweigh the positives, there is nothing to gain from you starting down this path.

 

[sasemohan123]

Sounds like you have gotten the messages, LOL. Here is another dose of ..bitter med:
https://terb.cc/vbulletin/showthrea...year-on-MPAs&p=3547586&highlight=#post3547586
Regards.