Social Dates question

wellhungone

Well-known member
Nov 17, 2009
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To the OP:

There is nothing wrong with what you did, look at it as a simple legal contract.
Offering to pay for dinner was a consideration. It doesn't always have to be a money transaction.
However, she wanted a greater consideration for the business transaction.
Her counter offer to you was not acceptable so you cancel the service being offered.
One thing you should not have said was that it was a place she couldn't afford, but I am sure that was the result of her treatment of you after canceling.
In my books you Sir are a badass, and good for you...
I never said that she could not " afford" it. My words were " I let her know that I was not willing to pay for her time so she could eat and at restaurant that I know she would never go to on her own.. With her line of business, she could afford it more than me. What I said was that she would not go on her own, but who am I to judge. She may be a regular there.
 

wellhungone

Well-known member
Nov 17, 2009
1,599
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Toronto
Look this isn't my first time. I thought it was an unusual instance and want to share to see if anyone else had similar experiences. Just noticed that it's becoming a new trend to pay for social dates/events. Hell, if someone paid me to have coffee with them I'm all for it but I am sure that won't happen :blue:.

Hell, I have a previous post on weather to take a SP to a Christmas party and I knew that was going to be a paid date.

I have been out on social engagements with SP in the past. When you see someone on a regular basis a friendship does evolve and it's up to the individuals how they proceed. There is also boundaries that need to be in place as to were the relationship goes. SP have lives, friends and family outside of the industry . Like any job you need to ensure that work life balance.

I'm not looking at trashing anyone, this does not have to become a "she should have" or " he should have". Just a conversation on sharing life/hobby/industry experiences.

Happy Pi Day or Steak and BJ, whatever your preference.
 

huckfinn

Banned from schools.....
Aug 16, 2011
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On the Credit River with Jim
I've had several dinners with several lawyers (where they have picked up the tab) and was neither invoiced for their time nor the cost of the meal. (Not that I want to talk about the various cases they are involved with anyway.)
This ^^^^^^

It could be viewed as the lady trying to win a sale as well.

Personally, I wouldn't pay for a date to take to dinner.
 

newguy20

Well-known member
Nov 1, 2011
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The world is changing, especially this little part of it.

In the past I spent a fair bit of social time with a select few SPs. Everything from dinner and a movie to full vacations. I always paid for the dinners or trips or whatever we were doing, regardless of who suggested it.
But I only paid for time when it was intimate and sometimes I was told that wasn't necessary. Presumably because they saw value in the other things I had paid for.

A few years ago, if an SP had asked me to meet for lunch/dinner/whatever, I would have assumed it was just as friends.
Today I would definitely have to clarify whether it was a personal invitation or a business proposition and probably assume the latter.

To the OP:
I don't think you did anything wrong.
I'm glad you clarified before going through with the date. Based on her reaction to your cancelling, imagine what a shit show it could have been if you disagreed with her math after the date.
 
Dec 12, 2017
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The world is changing, especially this little part of it.

In the past I spent a fair bit of social time with a select few SPs. Everything from dinner and a movie to full vacations. I always paid for the dinners or trips or whatever we were doing, regardless of who suggested it.
But I only paid for time when it was intimate and sometimes I was told that wasn't necessary. Presumably because they saw value in the other things I had paid for.

A few years ago, if an SP had asked me to meet for lunch/dinner/whatever, I would have assumed it was just as friends.
Today I would definitely have to clarify whether it was a personal invitation or a business proposition and probably assume the latter.

To the OP:
I don't think you did anything wrong.
I'm glad you clarified before going through with the date. Based on her reaction to your cancelling, imagine what a shit show it could have been if you disagreed with her math after the date.
My theory is that the change you describe over the past few yrs is primarily due to SW Twitter and the guys who believe and argue that youre paying for an SPs time, not her services.

The bs ideology that we pay for time not services is rampant on Twitter and some seem to full heartedly believe it. Ive seen statements like, "Im a friend and healer who shares their soul with others, I dont sell my body", and they were written with complete sincerity. Some in this thread seem to agree with that comment which reinforces this delusional belief in this industry. Ladies like the one the OP is referring to are then provided a platform from which to demand payment for every second of their time, even when theyre the ones asking you to spend time with them.

@OP - if someone asked me to spend time with them Id assume its not paid either....but as said by others, thats a faulty assumption in the contemporary landscape of the industry and probably a bit wishful on your part...but who cares if she reacts like that.
 

sempel

Banned
Feb 23, 2017
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Ok. sempel has placed 5 out of the last 9 posts. All were long-winded and trying to refute at least parts of the posts of 6 different posters.

He is in full "Troll Mode". He sees no posts that do not deserve a rebuttal.
Well, at least you can read and count - good to know.

Why would they care lol.

Work the 30, call friends over and pig out or have some dude bring some random food while trying to make moves.
They wouldn't necessarily. I'm just saying it's an option that some ladies can offer - it's similar to what happened with me at an MP - we had the appointment and ate afterwards off the clock. Yes the lady has plenty of options. She can leave her location, she can order in, she can bring something from home, she can work and eat, or she can eat with a client after an appointment. It's just an option and if she likes the client and enjoys the company, it's simply an option where there is some mutual benefit.

I never said that she could not " afford" it. My words were " I let her know that I was not willing to pay for her time so she could eat and at restaurant that I know she would never go to on her own.. With her line of business, she could afford it more than me. What I said was that she would not go on her own, but who am I to judge. She may be a regular there.
When you say "she would not go there on her own" to most that means she cannot afford it. That's how I'd interpret it, regardless of what you meant i.e. she wouldn't go there by herself and you've provided a good reason/opportunity.

This ^^^^^^

It could be viewed as the lady trying to win a sale as well.

Personally, I wouldn't pay for a date to take to dinner.
Nor would I but plenty of others would. To each his/her own.

My theory is that the change you describe over the past few yrs is primarily due to SW Twitter and the guys who believe and argue that youre paying for an SPs time, not her services.

The bs ideology that we pay for time not services is rampant on Twitter and some seem to full heartedly believe it. Ive seen statements like, "Im a friend and healer who shares their soul with others, I dont sell my body", and they were written with complete sincerity. Some in this thread seem to agree with that comment which reinforces this delusional belief in this industry. Ladies like the one the OP is referring to are then provided a platform from which to demand payment for every second of their time, even when theyre the ones asking you to spend time with them.

@OP - if someone asked me to spend time with them Id assume its not paid either....but as said by others, thats a faulty assumption in the contemporary landscape of the industry and probably a bit wishful on your part...but who cares if she reacts like that.
I am one of the guys who says this because that's the line from the ladies. Yes, it's implied that you are going to be doing something during that time, probably sexual in most cases, but it's still time based. Not sure if this is the line used for legal purposes or a way to ensure consent can still be given/taken. If a guy pays a girl $300, by saying he's paid for her time, she still has the chance to say no to some services rather than being obliged to provide whatever just because she's been paid. I've always said though if a girl ties you up (upon request) than refuses to touch you for the hour and just talks with you, are you entitled to a refund? Technically, you paid for time which you got.

For every solution that flake has a new problem. Classic energy sucking douche.
Perhaps you and shack should get together for a social date. How the fuck can anybody suck the energy out of an online forum? Familiarize yourself with the line "sticks and stones..." and change the channel or turn the TV off if you don't like what you read.
 
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