Social Dates question

[wellhungone]

I am sure there is a thread started, but my search came up empty for what I was looking for.

So I have been noticing SP have been posting/advertising "Social Dates" lately. Meeting for coffee, dinner, movies or just hanging out. I see nothing wrong with that, as to each their own. What I do find interesting is I have been seeing an SP recently (3x's), she sent me a text saying that she would be working and if I was interested in making an appointment. I thought that was nice, she was considering me a regular and we seem to hit it off. She mentioned that she also was interested in going out for dinner first and then finish the night at her place. This all sounded good, why not, good food, beautiful woman and then the night cap.

I let her know that was okay and there was a great upscale restaurant that I was interested in trying out. As we are making arrangements, I was to pick her up. Something was a little off. I didn't want to be rude and come out and ask if she was charging me for the social time as it was her suggestion. So as the conversation continued, she was excited about the restaurant, she google'd it and said that she couldn't wait. As I was wrapping up my day, reservations were made and sent her a text that everything was a go. I decided to confirm our night cap and the rate. She said but also the additional rate for dinner. I knew that would be coming and I politely asked why was there an additional charge when she suggested the social part of the evening. I got the " my time is money and love doesn't pay my rent". To which I totally agree with if I was the one suggesting the social time. I let her know that I was not willing to pay for her time so she could eat and at restaurant that I know she would never go to on her own. I was okay picking up the $300 + dinner bill and her night cap fee around the same amount but not the additional fees.

So I was called a few names and told I didn't know how the industry work, she would let her friends know I was "Cheap" for not paying her. To which I replied, sounds good to me. Also let them the whole story and not leave out details.

So, needless to say I didn't see her that evening. I did get a couple of crank calls later in the evening from an unknown number but that could have been a coincidence ( I think not).

My question out to everyone, was I wrong to assume that the social part being her suggestion was at no cost ? Was I wrong not to ask up front ? I thought my response was adequate and not seeming " cheap". If I suggest the social time, yes, then a rate should be applied. But I also know that I have met lots of ladies on social time and we enjoyed a great evening and the time was a mutual suggestion and no other up charges were applied.

Just looking for feed back from SP and clients.

 

[shack]

My question out to everyone, was I wrong to assume that the social part being her suggestion was at no cost ? Was I wrong not to ask up front ? I thought my response was adequate and not seeming " cheap" .

Yes to both.

Many SPs who do advertise this type of date usually describe it as a package of x number of hours dining and x number of hours private time and a total price. This rate would probably be a bit less than the same total number of hours of just private time, but charging for the dinner time is pretty standard unless the relationship is very, very close and even then maybe not. As well, like any business transaction, I imagine you ask questions to clarify anything you are uncertain of instead of just making an assumption. Not sure why you did not take that approach. It is her business. She is providing not just sex, but a bit of a fantasy.Just curious, was the rate for the dinner time less or the same as the sex time?

Definitely this is a case of poor communication by both parties. She assumed you knew the drill and you assumed paying for dinner was enough.

I will say, though, that (not that I knew who this is) you are missing nothing by not seeing her, not because of her rates policy but the way she cussed you out after. Very low class. As a professional who charges a significant rate, she most definitely did not act professionally and does not deserve your business. Seeing as she did not specifically inform you prior and made an assumption you'd know her policy, she deserves a significant part of the blame. She could have stuck to her policy but tell you in a measured, polite way without the name-calling. Even if she was losing business, a professional acts professionally and should not lose her shit, especially when, as you say, it was her suggestion to dine.

Both parties did a very poor job of communicating.

 

[happydog]

I would say yes everything should have been confirmed before booking, but she should have made things clear and offered a rate or started the conversation.

I have seen a couple SPs advertise Dinner Date Rates.(example: $600 for 3 hours plus the meal of course)
I have been tempted but, am not sure how the flow of the night would go. Personally I would like to book a nice restaurant in the hotel or super close to hosting location.
I like the idea of getting to "know" her during a relaxed diner and then bonus the of going back with her. I only worry the logistics of travel, diner, and possible delays would take away from the end goal and maybe rushed or lack of time left for a long session.

 

[TFZL1]

I’ve had the same thing happen, where she contacted me with a suggestion.
Yes, it was paid time because I asked. The social rate is usually a much reduced amount.
I know one who does dinner and movie and fun for 600. She wasn’t worried about the extra time with slow dinner service or traffic and distance, so that was nice. But I hurried back at her place and was really a 1/2h appointment so we didn’t go overtime too much. Ended with Sf2 and soapy hugs.

Best to get it in your mind that these ladies work for a living just like the rest of us.
I wouldn’t expect any free time from any provider. I’m freinds with some, but still pay for time with them.

Once in a rare while, I’ve had a provider join me for dinner after a session, but I was upfront and said I could not afford the time. I pitched in a tip but certainly nothing like rate.

I’ve helped out some ladies with rides, moving etc and paid expenses. I guess they figure their time is compensation enough.
Once, a really really nice sp took me out to a nice Italian restaurant and paid the bill.
I had rented a van to give her some furniture, helped with furiture assembly, put up shelves and spent the evening cleaning.

Don’t expect free from a provider. Get a girlfriend not a sex worker if that’s what you’re looking for.

 

[explorerzip]

I'm not sure how you misunderstood her offer as being 'off the clock' because she said she 'would be working' and if you would like to make an appointment with her. Soliciting you for this 'dinner date' is fine with me, however, because you are a previous client.

I am curious as to what restaurant you would have went to for $300 for a dinner for two.

 

[PornAddict]

I am sure there is a thread started, but my search came up empty for what I was looking for.

So I have been noticing SP have been posting/advertising "Social Dates" lately. Meeting for coffee, dinner, movies or just hanging out. I see nothing wrong with that, as to each their own. What I do find interesting is I have been seeing an SP recently (3x's), she sent me a text saying that she would be working and if I was interested in making an appointment. I thought that was nice, she was considering me a regular and we seem to hit it off. She mentioned that she also was interested in going out for dinner first and then finish the night at her place. This all sounded good, why not, good food, beautiful woman and then the night cap.

I let her know that was okay and there was a great upscale restaurant that I was interested in trying out. As we are making arrangements, I was to pick her up. Something was a little off. I didn't want to be rude and come out and ask if she was charging me for the social time as it was her suggestion. So as the conversation continued, she was excited about the restaurant, she google'd it and said that she couldn't wait. As I was wrapping up my day, reservations were made and sent her a text that everything was a go. I decided to confirm our night cap and the rate. She said but also the additional rate for dinner. I knew that would be coming and I politely asked why was there an additional charge when she suggested the social part of the evening. I got the " my time is money and love doesn't pay my rent". To which I totally agree with if I was the one suggesting the social time. I let her know that I was not willing to pay for her time so she could eat and at restaurant that I know she would never go to on her own. I was okay picking up the $300 + dinner bill and her night cap fee around the same amount but not the additional fees.

So I was called a few names and told I didn't know how the industry work, she would let her friends know I was "Cheap" for not paying her. To which I replied, sounds good to me. Also let them the whole story and not leave out details.

So, needless to say I didn't see her that evening. I did get a couple of crank calls later in the evening from an unknown number but that could have been a coincidence ( I think not).

My question out to everyone, was I wrong to assume that the social part being her suggestion was at no cost ? Was I wrong not to ask up front ? I thought my response was adequate and not seeming " cheap". If I suggest the social time, yes, then a rate should be applied. But I also know that I have met lots of ladies on social time and we enjoyed a great evening and the time was a mutual suggestion and no other up charges were applied.

Just looking for feed back from SP and clients.

Bottom line it a business transaction. TIme is money...And you have to treated as a business transaction ... nothing is free ..that includes social time! EVery single minutes you spend with a service provider (escort) is chargeable like a law firm!

 

[sinc]

Your time is just as valuable as someone elses! Why would one person be expected to compensate someone for their "time"? It's this mindset that has women operating with an over inflated sense of self worth. Since you invited her you were right to offer to pick up the cheque, but THAT'S IT!

 

[shack]

I'm not sure how you misunderstood her offer as being 'off the clock' because she said she 'would be working' and if you would like to make an appointment with her. Soliciting you for this 'dinner date' is fine with me, however, because you are a previous client.

I am curious as to what restaurant you would have went to for $300 for a dinner for two.

Upscale. Burger's Priest.

Actually, I think $300 is easy with a drink or two or some wine.

 

[exnocomment]

Upscale. Burger's Priest.

Actually, I think $300 is easy with a drink or two or some wine.

Jokes aside a nice upscale dinner with wine pairings will cost well in excess of that.

 

[koreanjames]

To the OP, I can see why you could / would have assumed dinner would be a no cost venture as she was the one who brought it up completely out of the blue. But with that said there must have been a part of you where you know who you are dealing with and more importantly, what industry she works in.

Given these circumstances, you should have asked to confirm whether it be paid time or not when she first brought it up.

With that said a part of me is wondering if his particular SP had pegged you for a chump, purposely not being upfront with the costs (like any business transaction), hoping you would just pay her dinner rate without incident.

 

[yermama]

"Hey, I want someone to take me out to dinner and pay me for it. Do you want to be that idiot?" Some escorts are ridiculous.

 

[koreanjames]

"Hey, I want someone to take me out to dinner and pay me for it. Do you want to be that idiot?" Some escorts are ridiculous.

Lmfao!!!!!

 

[sempel]

Sorry OP but I'm going to lay the blame mostly on you. Why? Because you are dealing with an SP - a woman who you pay to spend time with you doing whatever. Part of her job is to make you feel like you have a connection. Part of her job is to make you feel like you are her friend, her BF, someone who is spending time because she likes you. And part of her job is to retain your business, including upselling if she feels you would be open to it.

As someone pointed out, she indicated she was working. As you've pointed out, SP's advertise social dates, some completely social, some hybrids, but it's clear everything is paid for. You're not new to this industry so your ignorance puzzles me but I'm willing to accept that as an excuse. But what I fail to grasp is that you've seen a girl 3x so you're probably comfortable with her (you've had sex after all). So why the avoidance of asking the obvious question upfront as soon as she suggested a social date?

Yes there are situations where providers are happy to spend some time with you off the clock. There are probably a few guys who've had free dates, free weekends, free trips, or ended up dating/marrying their SP although I'm sure all of these are rare occurences. Once in a blue moon, we get a Pretty Woman type ending. However, for most ladies, it's all fantasy. You aren't dating, there are no real feelings other than a casual attraction and this is work for the lady. And if you are comfortable enough to ask her to do things to you sexually, to me it's nothing to discuss anything else.

There are a variety of experiences where you are paying the lady for her time but also covering other expenses too. If you go on a trip, you are not only paying her for her time, you are also covering all the expenses. I imagine for some that seems odd - you'd think she's getting all expenses covered, why does she get paid for her time? Some of it is opportunity cost, some of it is simply because you do pay her for her time, and some of it is because she really isn't your GF/SO so you are paying her to spend time with you. That's just how it works. I'm guessing guys who do this have plenty of dough to spend so the economics of it are meaningless.

 

[james t kirk]

Bottom line it a business transaction. TIme is money...And you have to treated as a business transaction ... nothing is free ..that includes social time! EVery single minutes you spend with a service provider (escort) is chargeable like a law firm!

Wrong

I've had several dinners with several lawyers (where they have picked up the tab) and was neither invoiced for their time nor the cost of the meal. (Not that I want to talk about the various cases they are involved with anyway.)

 

[james t kirk]

To the OP, I can see why you could / would have assumed dinner would be a no cost venture as she was the one who brought it up completely out of the blue. But with that said there must have been a part of you where you know who you are dealing with and more importantly, what industry she works in.

Given these circumstances, you should have asked to confirm whether it be paid time or not when she first brought it up.

With that said a part of me is wondering if his particular SP had pegged you for a chump, purposely not being upfront with the costs (like any business transaction), hoping you would just pay her dinner rate without incident.

Bingo.

I think the OP was being hustled right from the get go by a woman whose take on reality has been skewed by her choice to sell sex. She now views not just her body, but her entire self as a commodity with a price tag on it.

In my opinion she was not upfront to the OP and was playing him for an easy mark. She could have simply said from the get go, "hey I offer a dinner date service for x dollars if you're interested", but she figured that she would hook a sucker who would sheepishly agree to pay for an expensive dinner, her time and then an easy sex with him (on a full belly of wine and rich food).

The OP did the right thing, I only hope he was using a burner phone since by her reaction she sounds like a bunny - boiler to me.

 

[james t kirk]

For me personally I cannot relate to the notion of taking an SP out for dinner. Not on the clock. If the two people have a connection that extends past the bedroom then fine, take her out to dinner, be a gentleman, pick up the tab, etc. But pay for the privilege of her company over dinner?

Thanks for my laugh of the day.

I'd rather take my golden retriever out to a swanky restaurant thanks. At least I'd know the affection she showed me was real and there is no denying the love I see in her eyes. And she'd be happy with flank steak and not the rib eye. Seriously.

 

[exnocomment]

I'd rather take my golden retriever out to a swanky restaurant thanks. At least I'd know the affection she showed me was real and there is no denying the love I see in her eyes. And she'd be happy with flank steak and not the rib eye. Seriously.

Lol, as a person that has owned both cats and dogs, it’s fun and nice but more like:

“I interpret through a human lense the actions that a dog portrays are love and affection on a human scale.” - it always fascinated me how people assign wholly human values and emotions to both other living and non living things

I’ve only done social dates a few times myself and usually only as a discounted meet & greet to get to know whether myself and the lady in question would click. I have done it more often in a sugaring context or it has been either off the clock or very heavily discounted as part of a specific nonstandard package arrangement. I find in general though meeting new people from all walks of life is fantastic fun.

Reading through all the responses I do think it was cheeky of the SP to make the suggestion but the phrasing seemed to be originally offering a package deal - which OP should’ve asked for “what price?” - but people are awkward by nature and the lady should have been more clear, especially if they had only ever had private time dates previously, but had conversed about the potential for dining together. Reminds me of old school Europe where some women’s menus don’t even have prices on them! :yo:

 

[Jasmine Raine]

I have to go against the grain of my fellow workers and say - yes that was a hustle for paid date and you were right to cancel it. Thankfully you double checked first.

As for men engaging in dinner dates and why? Because they want to have a full date experience. That is what they want. They want a traditional style date of dinner and drinks and then back the room for fun. Some guys want Greek others want Greek food first. To each their own.

 

[wellhungone]

great points, i would agree with everything you said.

OP you said yourself you thought "something was off". it's not the norm for an SP to give you social time for free. also what do you mean she would never go to that restaurant on her own? are you saying she can't afford to go there or something, so she should be glad you're even offering to pay for it? if it was a $300 tab, that's like one hour of work for most of us. really not a big deal lol. most of us would rather pay for our own meal and eat alone or with our actual friends with the little leisure time some of us have with our busy schedules.

Thank you @dawnlee for your opinion, I do value what you say as many times you do go against the grain.

 

[wellhungone]

I have to go against the grain of my fellow workers and say - yes that was a hustle for paid date and you were right to cancel it. Thankfully you double checked first.

As for men engaging in dinner dates and why? Because they want to have a full date experience. That is what they want. They want a traditional style date of dinner and drinks and then back the room for fun. Some guys want Greek others want Greek food first. To each their own.

Thank you for your prospective on this. I appreciate all the feed back.