While I appreciate the formality of an NDA, entering into one with someone would be an anxious nightmare for me. You either have to use a pseudonym or risk your real identity and written permanent record of your actual identity entering into a relationship with someone you'd like to keep secret. Seeking damages against an NDA would be equally as horrifying - you can't get blood from a stone, and the parties at greatest risk probably don't have large sums of liquid cash laying around for lawsuits.
Screening a provider in advance if privacy is at risk is super important, and limiting exposure. When you find that gem, I don't see value in continuing to increase exposure (but that's because I value privacy more than I value new experience).
Everyone's scenario is different. The one described by OP is giving me the sweats.
I appreciate Ana Maria’s suggestions but you defintely raise some vailid points.
From my perspective everything i do or dont do is al about minimizing the damage.
You see i do know the SP’s real name.
Once my wife found out the SP tweeted that if anyone that knows her real identity, she wanted to let everyone know that her family and friends know what she does for a living. Maybe it was a coincidental post. Or maybe she anticipated i would respond accordingly. Truth is i would never do that. Their is enough hurt in this mess without me adding to it.
The worst was when my wife sent me a text with a screenshot of my secret social media account. Imagine being unaware as your wife is reading your posts. Once she sent me a text with a screenshot with my secret profile i knew i was fucked. Nowhere to run or hide.